Matanui, 18, is a sixth-form art student and a singer-songwriter working under the name Judy Petit-Pois
I haven't had many relationships that are worth mentioning. But, sex, yes. Thankfully, only once was it sex with someone who made me feel used and every other sexual partner I've liked and have 'made love' with. Sex is such a deep thing, so personal, that doing it without getting to know them - even just in that one day - isn't really sex at all. I might as well be rubbing my knee.
I had one friend who seemed unable to go a night without having sex with someone. It became weird, like a drug fix, and it became the vibe in my group of friends. I don't know how many times I kissed a friend and thought, 'God, I can smell boys on your breath.' It was disgusting.
The first time I had sex - at 14 - I was really nervous. He went to the bathroom and I was shaking, going 'I'm going to have sex, oh my God.' He'd had sex before and that was good, because you need a professional. But I really liked it. The next morning I felt a lot more relaxed. That relationship didn't continue because then I scared him - I thought I was pregnant. That's happened so many times, worrying after heat-of-the-moment sex. Friends would say 'Oh my God, Mati - not again.' Now I realise it doesn't matter if the mood is killed by a guy going to the bathroom and putting on a condom, because you can resume the mood.
I just got together with a guy who'd recently ended a relationship. He was confused so went travelling. I slept with him last night. I feel things that we needed to say were said. Love is the easiest thing to break your heart, but when it lifts you up it's amazing. After I left this morning I texted him to say, 'Now I can shift mountains, evaporate oceans, grow gigantic trees and change the colour of the sky. Kiss kiss.'
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment