I am both. Male and female. Without my female self I am neither creative nor spiritual. Without my male self I am neither enterprising, nor active. I am not both man and woman. I am a man. But finally,I am now both male and female.
And finding the balance was tough. To balance the nurturing nature with the aggressive go-getting nature. Men too often ignore their female selves. Part of that, I am absolutely sure, is our educational system and social conditioning.
As a young Punjabi male I grew up 'knowing' that I must be the Decision Maker. The Provider. The Career Junkie. The social conditioning and peer pressure around me made me made me carry the burden of the sexual predator. The seducer. This did not end in India. As I went to London as a young student, the same attitudes prevailed.
I was never comfortable. I found bieng completely male a huge burden to carry. So I left bieng the Career Junkie, the accountant, the management consultant on his way to the top of the corporate ladder. I now realize I went in search for my female self. That was the first step in my quest to find myslef. A journey that continues to this date.
It took a long time. It was not till I made a film called "The Bandit Queen', that I truly discovered my female self. For those that have seen it, will know what I mean immedietly. This was a film about a low caste woman that was repeatedly raped, and finally turned into a bandit that went back to wreak revenge.
Someone once asked me what I learnt from that film. I said I am now willing to stand in the middle of the street and shout aloud "I am weak". And you have no idea how inherrently strong that makes me. The contradiction. Strength through an acceptance of weakness.
Like suddenly turning into Water, when all your life you were stone.
To watch myself moving now seamlessly from male to female and back is such a fascinating observation. From bieng the 'general' on the sets when I am filming, back to being a gentle soul reduced to fits of crying. It's amazing. From almost tyranical decisiveness, obstinate and egoistic. To almost a total absence of authority, of indecisiveness where the moment is allowed to completely dominate me. I find the process fascinating and provocative. And creative.
So often I was asked whether Bandit Queen was a 'feminist' film and I always said no, it was a ''humanist' film. It embraced both the feminist and masculinist in the same character. As in all characters. Even in Elizabeth.
I am not saying that women are weak, while men inherrently agressive and strong in nature. I am saying that all women and men exhibit male and female natures. As they must do to find harmony.
In one of my unsuccesful films (Four Feathers) I did try and explore the nature of true courage. True courage was not the ability to die. It was the ability to live. True courage is more female than male, for true courage is Wisdom. And Wisdom is the strength to give and nurture, not to take and destroy.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Skhar Kapoorrr.........
At 22, was an accountant in London long before I dreamt of bieng a film-maker ..
I was successful. But uncomfortable.
I remember strongly feeling the chasm between what I did and who I was. The young man at play (those were the swinging 70's don't forget), and the one at work were two completely different people. With almost a schizophrenic relationship with each other.
So I left accounting in search for a way to overcome that duality.
On the way I have been a model, an actor, a chat show host both in India and the UK, a commercials film maker both in India and Europe, and a film director, also in India and internationally. I also ran an entertainment TV channel, and was for a while a scuba diving instructor.
To find a way define every moment of my waking life as one complete whole, rather than one that is structured into different compartments. One complete emotional all encompassing feeling that embodied everything I did,felt and thought. I just wanted to express myself completely in everything that I did.
The journey turned out much much longer than I thought. It continues to this day. Because the duality existed not merely between work and play, but within work and play.
But on the way, I started to understand some things.
That the words 'truth', 'love' and 'compassion' took on different meanings from those boring idealistic interpretations that were rammed down our throats when we were kids.
There was power,I later discovered, in these concepts. The power to hold everything together. Like falling in love, I discovered.
All structures fall apart in the throes of the first passions of love. All duality dissapeared. Everything emcompassed by that one emotion. Bieng in the throes of love, even life and death encompassed by that one emotion.
Whenever I fell deeply in love, I lived the moment completely. That's what I realized it was all about. I felt a surge of courage I had not felt before. With that courage came such incredible fullfilment of that moment, thatI did not fear the next. Death too, at that time became acceptable. My 'cup of love' as they say, would be full.
But how does on stay in love all the time ? How does one continue this passion all the time ? If the love was derived from one singular person you could wreak havoc on their lives. I have done that before. And my own too. For I had not (atleast not at that time) learnt to 'let go' in love. I had not learnt that the attempt for permanence would utimately kill passion. That love was so much greater when lived in a womb of freedom. That there could no 'ownership' in love.
Thats where I began to understand the concepts of Meera's obsession for Krishna. There was no desire on Meera's part to have a singular relationship with Krishna. Or the Poetry of Rumi and his obsession for his friend. I discovered the difference between Obsession and Ownership. By directing all your passions to an imagined universal force, you could go on deriving from it. Forever. As long as you realized that the obsession for other person was only your conduit to the universe. To yourself.
And then u could continue to exist in that state of creative passion. I began to understand the concept of Prasadam. Where everything you create, you are merely the conduit. Everything you own, is merely an offering that is never complete. At a function in New York where I was awarded the critics award for Best Director, I said from the bottom of my heart :
" I did not direct the film. I am learning not to direct my films. I am learnng that I am merely the gardener. The garden grows. The sun shines. The rains come. The seeds sprout. the flowers bloom. And I watch. Having been the conduit through which the seeds were planted, I merely encompass the garden with love. In return the garden encompasses me with love. And together, we watch in wonder at the creation of the Universe's bounty"
I am learning the power of not imposing. I am learning the power throwing everything to the moment. I understand that is what the concept of Prasadam means.
and gradually, in this path, I try and let the duality, my individuality melt away. Will I suceed ?
Well, isn't that question once again reaffirming my individuality though ? Who is that 'I' that wants to suceed.
I was successful. But uncomfortable.
I remember strongly feeling the chasm between what I did and who I was. The young man at play (those were the swinging 70's don't forget), and the one at work were two completely different people. With almost a schizophrenic relationship with each other.
So I left accounting in search for a way to overcome that duality.
On the way I have been a model, an actor, a chat show host both in India and the UK, a commercials film maker both in India and Europe, and a film director, also in India and internationally. I also ran an entertainment TV channel, and was for a while a scuba diving instructor.
To find a way define every moment of my waking life as one complete whole, rather than one that is structured into different compartments. One complete emotional all encompassing feeling that embodied everything I did,felt and thought. I just wanted to express myself completely in everything that I did.
The journey turned out much much longer than I thought. It continues to this day. Because the duality existed not merely between work and play, but within work and play.
But on the way, I started to understand some things.
That the words 'truth', 'love' and 'compassion' took on different meanings from those boring idealistic interpretations that were rammed down our throats when we were kids.
There was power,I later discovered, in these concepts. The power to hold everything together. Like falling in love, I discovered.
All structures fall apart in the throes of the first passions of love. All duality dissapeared. Everything emcompassed by that one emotion. Bieng in the throes of love, even life and death encompassed by that one emotion.
Whenever I fell deeply in love, I lived the moment completely. That's what I realized it was all about. I felt a surge of courage I had not felt before. With that courage came such incredible fullfilment of that moment, thatI did not fear the next. Death too, at that time became acceptable. My 'cup of love' as they say, would be full.
But how does on stay in love all the time ? How does one continue this passion all the time ? If the love was derived from one singular person you could wreak havoc on their lives. I have done that before. And my own too. For I had not (atleast not at that time) learnt to 'let go' in love. I had not learnt that the attempt for permanence would utimately kill passion. That love was so much greater when lived in a womb of freedom. That there could no 'ownership' in love.
Thats where I began to understand the concepts of Meera's obsession for Krishna. There was no desire on Meera's part to have a singular relationship with Krishna. Or the Poetry of Rumi and his obsession for his friend. I discovered the difference between Obsession and Ownership. By directing all your passions to an imagined universal force, you could go on deriving from it. Forever. As long as you realized that the obsession for other person was only your conduit to the universe. To yourself.
And then u could continue to exist in that state of creative passion. I began to understand the concept of Prasadam. Where everything you create, you are merely the conduit. Everything you own, is merely an offering that is never complete. At a function in New York where I was awarded the critics award for Best Director, I said from the bottom of my heart :
" I did not direct the film. I am learning not to direct my films. I am learnng that I am merely the gardener. The garden grows. The sun shines. The rains come. The seeds sprout. the flowers bloom. And I watch. Having been the conduit through which the seeds were planted, I merely encompass the garden with love. In return the garden encompasses me with love. And together, we watch in wonder at the creation of the Universe's bounty"
I am learning the power of not imposing. I am learning the power throwing everything to the moment. I understand that is what the concept of Prasadam means.
and gradually, in this path, I try and let the duality, my individuality melt away. Will I suceed ?
Well, isn't that question once again reaffirming my individuality though ? Who is that 'I' that wants to suceed.
talent
The gift of talent, I believe, is a huge responsibility. It does not really belong to you. It never did. If used for merely acquiring wealth fame and power, talent turns into the devil that eats into your soul. Like a gambling debt, like an addiction. Not to a supreme creative endeavour but to the artificial surrounds of wealth, power and fame.
Talent is Prasadam. It can be taken away if not placed at the altar. Talent is the temple. And when it is lost, as it will be if abused, all that is left is the empty shell of addiction. Talent can never be yours, for it is much more substantial than your ego. And the more creative force there is to talent, the more universal, the more beyond yourself it becomes. It is as if someone loaned you the gift to tap into a universal creativity.
Of course there is temptation. The pull of the mortal and material needs never cease. It's a constant battle to retain the purity, the innocence, the child like playful quality of creative talent.
Talent is Prasadam. It can be taken away if not placed at the altar. Talent is the temple. And when it is lost, as it will be if abused, all that is left is the empty shell of addiction. Talent can never be yours, for it is much more substantial than your ego. And the more creative force there is to talent, the more universal, the more beyond yourself it becomes. It is as if someone loaned you the gift to tap into a universal creativity.
Of course there is temptation. The pull of the mortal and material needs never cease. It's a constant battle to retain the purity, the innocence, the child like playful quality of creative talent.
Faith, Prayer, Mythology,
:) says :"i am surprised that you put mythology above PRAYER and FAITH !"
faith, prayer, mythology gods and goddesses are all ways to keep going beyond your sense of the individual self - they enable you to break out of the prison of individuality, the prison of the mind, and allow something much deeper inside you to connect to something far more expansive. More expansive emotionally, more expansive instinctually , more expansive spiritually, and more expansive creatively.
We call that being in touch with expansiveness an awareness of the universal self, of being in touch with consciousness, or even being n the presence of God. So being in CONSTANT touch with either Myth, or Prayer or Faith, almost with every breath is what I am talking about. That being n constant touch is what mystics have called the 'state of being in constant and universal love'. And it is so important not to make this 'being in constant touch' become too specific.
For there is something 'breeze like' about the infinite. The more you turn it into finite ways and methods and laws, the more you try and make them logical, the more you look upon this as methodology, the more you are turning the potential, the constant whiffs of breeze, the 'presence', the attitude , the unknown emotional feelings of the spirit, into dogma and a set of rules, or a method. In those cases the very Myths you are using, the very faith and prayers you are using turn finally into rules, dogma, obsession and then excuses and weapons for destruction and conflict - as we see religious conflicts all over the world.
faith, prayer, mythology gods and goddesses are all ways to keep going beyond your sense of the individual self - they enable you to break out of the prison of individuality, the prison of the mind, and allow something much deeper inside you to connect to something far more expansive. More expansive emotionally, more expansive instinctually , more expansive spiritually, and more expansive creatively.
We call that being in touch with expansiveness an awareness of the universal self, of being in touch with consciousness, or even being n the presence of God. So being in CONSTANT touch with either Myth, or Prayer or Faith, almost with every breath is what I am talking about. That being n constant touch is what mystics have called the 'state of being in constant and universal love'. And it is so important not to make this 'being in constant touch' become too specific.
For there is something 'breeze like' about the infinite. The more you turn it into finite ways and methods and laws, the more you try and make them logical, the more you look upon this as methodology, the more you are turning the potential, the constant whiffs of breeze, the 'presence', the attitude , the unknown emotional feelings of the spirit, into dogma and a set of rules, or a method. In those cases the very Myths you are using, the very faith and prayers you are using turn finally into rules, dogma, obsession and then excuses and weapons for destruction and conflict - as we see religious conflicts all over the world.
Is this a dream I live in ?
Is this a dream I live in ?
" Is this a dream I live in ?" you asked me as we travelled in the car back from your tennis lesson. "But how would I know, for the word 'dream' does not come when I am really dreaming. What happens when I wake up ?" I was completely taken aback by your question, for you are still just 7 years old. Taken aback because for centuries the mystics and the wise ones have been grappling with this question. Except they may not call it a dream. They call it Maya, the illusion. Life is an illusion. It means the same thing.
Problem today is that many philosophers and mystics look down upon the 'dream life'. Like 'because it is an illusion, therefore it is something silly'. Not to be taken seriously. No my love, life is to be taken very seriously, for every thought, every action, every moment, every passion dissolves into a great churning that is your life. What is called your karma. And your karma is the connection between your universal self, your atman or soul, your god self, or anything you would like to call it, and your 'maya self', or your 'dream self'. It is what you experience when you wake up !....
" Is this a dream I live in ?" you asked me as we travelled in the car back from your tennis lesson. "But how would I know, for the word 'dream' does not come when I am really dreaming. What happens when I wake up ?" I was completely taken aback by your question, for you are still just 7 years old. Taken aback because for centuries the mystics and the wise ones have been grappling with this question. Except they may not call it a dream. They call it Maya, the illusion. Life is an illusion. It means the same thing.
Problem today is that many philosophers and mystics look down upon the 'dream life'. Like 'because it is an illusion, therefore it is something silly'. Not to be taken seriously. No my love, life is to be taken very seriously, for every thought, every action, every moment, every passion dissolves into a great churning that is your life. What is called your karma. And your karma is the connection between your universal self, your atman or soul, your god self, or anything you would like to call it, and your 'maya self', or your 'dream self'. It is what you experience when you wake up !....
Do we need to make any sense ?
Was delivering ( I guess) a lecture on film at the Northwestern University in Chicago. This was a film history class and I am one of the most film illiterate people I know on the planet. By the time I got to be a film maker it was too late to catch up. Yet the students and I had a very interesting session. We plunged straight in to the ideas of 'not knowing'. How do you approach story telling without knowing the outcome. How do you completely surprise yourself. Is any art, including film making, an attempt towards exploration of the unknown ? For if it is not, then it is not art is it ? How do actually go out and try NOT to make sense, but allow the inherent tensions that exist within that exploration to surface, the inherent contradictions within you to surface, and these contradictions then begin to tell the story. Or some semblance of a story. Something emerges that you cannot take credit for, for the film had, or the story had it's own organic being. The story and you meet not in the realm of sense, but somewhere outside in the largesse of the universe where the story is not trying to make sense but is somehow provoking thought processes that have so much contradiction in them that they make sense and do not make sense at the same time. Like a boiling pot - with somehow sense coming to the surface but disintegrating into 'no sense' and sinking back, merely to give rise to the illusion and a tantalizing glimpse of sense again, only to fall back again into no-sense. Like all great poetry. Leaving the viewer/reader to connect the dots to try and create something of logic or of sense in it all. Or not.
a smile of wisdom
when a saint and a wordly man met,
each looked at each other,
silent and mocking.
both laughed at each other.
each said the same thing:
what have you done to yourself?
each looked at each other,
silent and mocking.
both laughed at each other.
each said the same thing:
what have you done to yourself?
Identity crisis anyone ?
Language does limit comprehension sometimes. And the more we communicate, the more we rely on 'key words' as a means of speedier communication. And so the more we tend to define and therefore confine things into narrower and narrower meanings. So what do we mean by identity crisis ? Have I ever been without one in my whole life ? I am still unable to define myself, and am still trying to understand who I am, and why I am. I guess I take that as a positive - as long as I am searching for my identity, as long as I am yearning for something that I can identify myself as, so long will I keep searching for that part of me that exists eternally. And has always existed. Wonderful how I am able to escape the psychological definition and escape into the mythic one !
Being active, not reactive. The power of silence
How many years does one spend being reactive to the constant noise of external stimuli and mistaking that for hard work and activity. And then looking back and wondering why what was achieved was either not enough or not satisfying enough ? The mind becomes a whirlwind of thoughts, ideas, doubts and contrary messages. The ego becomes an instrument of the search for affirmation in other people's eyes. Not even a clear idea of what other people think of you, but just what your mind imagines they think of you ! We mistakenly start to think that we are responsive and responsible to the world - but actually we are just responsive to the whirlwind of what sometimes becomes our greatest enemy. Our own mind. So how do you discover ACTIVITY rather than Reactivity ?
Silence. To take myself away from the the noise and be in solitude. Where if not in meditation, then at least in thoughtful awareness. And if not that, then atleast in a conversation with oneself, allowing the mind to throw out all it's own arguments, it's own quarrels with itself and settle. And then out of the silence ....
Passion. To discover the true sense of who I am. Then let that evolve. For who I am will define what I do. And vice versa. And then allow that passion to bubble every moment and drive you. You do not have to create passion, just discover it and express it. Be fearless with it and you will find that world will be fearless with you. Passion has that effect not only on other people, but also on the Universe.
Discover your emotional self. Do not deny that fundamentally we are emotional and mythic beings. That we are defined not by our compartmentalized, structured, separate and pigeon-holed identities like father, mother, son, daughter, friend, worker, boss, but by an emotional and mythic beingness that encompasses everything. Otherwise we go through life creating a myriad short term and long term identities in relationships and situations to other people/stimuli. Even on a bus, for example, we are creating identities with (say) the bus conductor, the passenger sitting next to you, and so on. And finally...
To allow yourself the luxury of the moment so completely that you are both completely focussed and completely free at the same time. There has much been said about the 'power of now' in the modern interpretation, but essentially it is a way to focus so clearly on the moment that you become free of being a creature imprisoned by a finite mind.
Silence. To take myself away from the the noise and be in solitude. Where if not in meditation, then at least in thoughtful awareness. And if not that, then atleast in a conversation with oneself, allowing the mind to throw out all it's own arguments, it's own quarrels with itself and settle. And then out of the silence ....
Passion. To discover the true sense of who I am. Then let that evolve. For who I am will define what I do. And vice versa. And then allow that passion to bubble every moment and drive you. You do not have to create passion, just discover it and express it. Be fearless with it and you will find that world will be fearless with you. Passion has that effect not only on other people, but also on the Universe.
Discover your emotional self. Do not deny that fundamentally we are emotional and mythic beings. That we are defined not by our compartmentalized, structured, separate and pigeon-holed identities like father, mother, son, daughter, friend, worker, boss, but by an emotional and mythic beingness that encompasses everything. Otherwise we go through life creating a myriad short term and long term identities in relationships and situations to other people/stimuli. Even on a bus, for example, we are creating identities with (say) the bus conductor, the passenger sitting next to you, and so on. And finally...
To allow yourself the luxury of the moment so completely that you are both completely focussed and completely free at the same time. There has much been said about the 'power of now' in the modern interpretation, but essentially it is a way to focus so clearly on the moment that you become free of being a creature imprisoned by a finite mind.
Sekhar Kammula: Passion for cinema?
As the movie went over budget, Mr.Producer, i will not charge any re-muneration untill we cut even, and once we make profit give me anything you wish
Yes this is a new generation director speaking. A director whose motive is not to make money, whose motives is not to slit open a producers wallet. His motive is to make qualitative cinema. Cinema which doesnt throw you into fantasy land and expects you to believe that it is easier to get away with an extra-marital affair New York City rather than in Mumbai or Delhi or Patna. The cinema he believes in has stories of a common man, his reactions to common problems that you and me face and react to, the cinema where middle class people behave like middle class people. The middle class of today where a woman is just as independent and knows her priorities as a middle class male would. No gimmicks, no masala, no skin show, just good cinema in its purest and honest form.
Ladies and Gentlemen one such director has arrived after a long painstaking wait.
SEKHAR KAMMULA
The director who won a national award for his first movie. The director who won tons of awards including the best director Nandi( equivalent to Filmfare for South Indian movies). The director who’s third movie is one of top 3 grossers of the year 2006.
I am sure many of you reading this article are dying to ask.. So, who is this guy?
This is Sekhar Kamulla to you all:
Born in Hyderabad, Raised in Hyderabad. He did his Engineering in Osmania University with a Bachelors degree in Computer Engineering. As, so often seen in most hyderabadis the US of A bug bit him too. He had to go the US of A to pursue his career in the Graduate program for Computer sciences. Thank God he did go to the States. Why?
Because as is the case with you, me, the guy sitting next to you, the guy bringing you chai in the Irani Cafe, the guy selling gupchup on the bandi, the father, mother, son, etc, etc, etc he too was fascinated by a six letter word called CINEMA. Sekhar( as he likes to be called) says he always used to see something in a movie which many common movie-goers would not even notice. The intricacies.
So, after graduating he gor en-rolled in a film-making course in Howard University. Made numerous short movies, worked as a clap-man, lightsman, coninuity person, editor, screenwiter, director.. almost every filed that is associated with in bringing a movie to light. His final project for the thesis was Anand(not to be mistaken with the cult Hrishida movie).
The first step was taken. The step to learn Cinema in a prestigious school, to know the technicalities, to know the detailing aspect, more importantly to realise that burning desire to make a movie was not just a passing dream. He can do it. And How?
Sekhar lands up back in hyderabad to work as a sofware consultant. Writes down a script he believed in. The first movie to come out of this mastermind was
DOLLAR DREAMS 2000
A story of six youngsters. A story of common youth of Hyderabad. A story which deals with finding happiness but at waht cost? Going to America!!!!
This movie though made at a shoestring budget of 17 Lakhs rupees, showed that a good movie can be made without high production values. The movie detailed the ideologies of today’s youth. The options they have when they graduate, the options they tend to make their own, the options they perinially neglect and the options they have and want to take but will not or more importantly cannot because of the peer pressure, family pressure and the society pressure. One of the choices being going to US of A. The carze, the hysteria, the hype, the status feeling is all shown in this beautifully crafted movie.
On one hand we have Hyderabad Blues which dealt with love and adjustments, then on the other we have Dollar Dreams which deals about options and choices.
One scene in the movie which will definitely make you to take notice of CHARACTER is when one couple who are expecting a baby in 2 months are frantically trying to get a visa so that the baby is born in USA and become a citizen. Forget the production value, this is a must watch movie. The language used is so common man’s language. The group of friends calling themselves Lafoot Gang( Fit-for-nothing).
Sekhar had no idea of post-production, he had no idea as to where he should register his movie, he had no idea how to find a distributor and whom to show the screening to get a distributor to buy it. The movie has more of English than Hindi/Telugu and he thought of registering the name under a English movie. Now he didnt know that if he had registered the movie as a telugu movie he would have cut a lot of cost, but he learnt. He learnt the hard way. He did not get distributors who would buy the reels. But, the fighter that he is.. he did not loose hope. He went to the manager of Sangeet theatre( Secunderabad’s then most hep movie hall) and paid money to the theatre owner to rent his theatre for one show a day for three days. One noon show for three days. He was pretty damn sure that if atleast 100 people watch his movie, by the word of mouth it would run. that is exactly what happened. people loved the movie, the movie was lapped by youngsters more. Then he had distributors queued up. He made a small amount of profit on the movie. the movie won him the prestigious National award for the best debutant director. Sekhar has arrived.
ANAND 2004
The puncline for the movie: Manchi Coffee Lanti Cinema ( Cinema like a good Coffee). It couldnt have been better. The puchline defined it all. Wonderful movie, beautiful music, beautiful editing, spectacular directon. Super performance by the lead actress Komalinee Mukherjee( who played shilpa Shetty Sister in Phir Milenge). The movie did not boast of any huge superstars, or any foreign locales. A very low budget movie. Sekhar did it again.
Even after the moderate sucess and high critical acclaim of Dollar Dreams Sekhar had to start th journey from the scratch. No investors, no producers. But, he wanted to make this movie right from his student days when he was studying Cinema. As mentioned earlier he had written the script of Anand as his final thesis. He was passionate about this movie, he believed in this movie. The movie if made would be released into telugu movie Industry when the movie which were ruling were Factionist movies, teenage movies and mindless comic movies. But, that had to stop according to Sekhar. A fantastic movie can be made without any of these was his answers with Anand. And boy-o-boy he did make it.
The movie begins during Roopa’s( Komalinee) childhood. She looses all her family in a terrible car accident. She believes she had a part in the death of her family as had she not tried to stop them they could have avoided the accident. Roopa grows into a confident yet unsure at times beautiful girl. She is about to get married to her Boyfriend, but, she is in two states of mind if she is marrying him because she loves him or because she he has everything in him that a girl when faced with araanged marriage scenario will never say no to. The marriage is broken on the wedding day beacuse of the adamant behaviour of the guy’s mom and i wont budge behaviour of Roopa. Enter Anand( Raja). Anand is the son of the person who in his drunken stupor hit the car driven my Roopa’s parents causing their death.
The film from there takes you through a journey.. the journey that sekhar mastered in his next venture Godavari..but started in Anand. The journey of Love-hate relationship was captured almost unbelievebly. The banters between Roopa-Anand- Anita(Roopa’s chilhood friend) are seen to be believed as to how real they look. The idea is “lifted”. Lifted from your life, lifted from my life, lifted from the life of the pan-wallah, lifted from my Grandma’s life. The movie gets so dangeroulsy close to real life that at times you feel that you are Roopa, that you are Anand, that you are Anita, that you are Anish Kuruvilla(Anand’s cousin and executive producer of the movie).
Some ohh so real scenes
Anand asking the Grandma to rent the room to him and explains to her how good-boy he is
Anand asking Anita if he can join her for a jog and Anita instantly retorts saying Light Tesuko( Light le… Chill out.. tahnks but no thanks)
Someone in the bus tries talking to Roopa about her broken marriage, and seeing roopa’s discomfort.. Anand asks her to tell such kind of people to shut up… Roopa’s response… You Hsut up
Little girl asking anand to give her the toothpaste so she can eat some
Anand when confromted by Rowdies doesnt resort to fighting with them, but just calls the police.
Anand talking about Roopa’s Ass
If i keep mentioning all the “ohh so real scenes” i would be putting in paper the entire screenplay.
Some amazing songs, equally amzing picturisation. Anand is a class 101 for all the students of the film craft to learn on how to make a fantastcic movie with a shoe-string budget. All you need is the drive.. the drive to captivate the viewers with you storytelling and attarcting the viewers into your thought process. The same drive did not diminish in Sekhar after the major success of Anand. The same passion, the same dedication, the same honesty was to be seen in his in next venture:
Godavari (2006)
A very good article on the review of Godavari is written by cinema fanatic Sudha can be found here The Journey is continued from where he had a small halt in Anand. Godavari is the story of characters evolving during a boat ride. It is loosley based on the characterization of Lord Rama from Ramayana. Ram(Sumanth) is a selfless guy who would give away his last penny to the needy. After completing his education in USA he wants to join politics but doesnt know where to start
. Sita is an Independent woman( or she believes she is) who’s Clothing business is dead as a do-do.
They both land up on the same boat which is going to Bhadrachalam.. and then shuru ho gaya safar( thats the start of the journey). the way Sekhar meticulously delas with his characters is amazing. there are no unwanted characters in the movie, there is no character which is ill-defined. Crytal clear.. every aspect of the movie is CRYTAL CLEAR. There is a subplot of a dog which is hillarious. Never have i seen the use of a “sutradhar” so imaginatively that too through a dog. Every scene invoving the dog cracks you up. …
(oz’s comment : to be continued… this post was “forcibly” published by oz, so readers could enjoy this amazing write up… next in line - striker’s secret obsession)
Yes this is a new generation director speaking. A director whose motive is not to make money, whose motives is not to slit open a producers wallet. His motive is to make qualitative cinema. Cinema which doesnt throw you into fantasy land and expects you to believe that it is easier to get away with an extra-marital affair New York City rather than in Mumbai or Delhi or Patna. The cinema he believes in has stories of a common man, his reactions to common problems that you and me face and react to, the cinema where middle class people behave like middle class people. The middle class of today where a woman is just as independent and knows her priorities as a middle class male would. No gimmicks, no masala, no skin show, just good cinema in its purest and honest form.
Ladies and Gentlemen one such director has arrived after a long painstaking wait.
SEKHAR KAMMULA
The director who won a national award for his first movie. The director who won tons of awards including the best director Nandi( equivalent to Filmfare for South Indian movies). The director who’s third movie is one of top 3 grossers of the year 2006.
I am sure many of you reading this article are dying to ask.. So, who is this guy?
This is Sekhar Kamulla to you all:
Born in Hyderabad, Raised in Hyderabad. He did his Engineering in Osmania University with a Bachelors degree in Computer Engineering. As, so often seen in most hyderabadis the US of A bug bit him too. He had to go the US of A to pursue his career in the Graduate program for Computer sciences. Thank God he did go to the States. Why?
Because as is the case with you, me, the guy sitting next to you, the guy bringing you chai in the Irani Cafe, the guy selling gupchup on the bandi, the father, mother, son, etc, etc, etc he too was fascinated by a six letter word called CINEMA. Sekhar( as he likes to be called) says he always used to see something in a movie which many common movie-goers would not even notice. The intricacies.
So, after graduating he gor en-rolled in a film-making course in Howard University. Made numerous short movies, worked as a clap-man, lightsman, coninuity person, editor, screenwiter, director.. almost every filed that is associated with in bringing a movie to light. His final project for the thesis was Anand(not to be mistaken with the cult Hrishida movie).
The first step was taken. The step to learn Cinema in a prestigious school, to know the technicalities, to know the detailing aspect, more importantly to realise that burning desire to make a movie was not just a passing dream. He can do it. And How?
Sekhar lands up back in hyderabad to work as a sofware consultant. Writes down a script he believed in. The first movie to come out of this mastermind was
DOLLAR DREAMS 2000
A story of six youngsters. A story of common youth of Hyderabad. A story which deals with finding happiness but at waht cost? Going to America!!!!
This movie though made at a shoestring budget of 17 Lakhs rupees, showed that a good movie can be made without high production values. The movie detailed the ideologies of today’s youth. The options they have when they graduate, the options they tend to make their own, the options they perinially neglect and the options they have and want to take but will not or more importantly cannot because of the peer pressure, family pressure and the society pressure. One of the choices being going to US of A. The carze, the hysteria, the hype, the status feeling is all shown in this beautifully crafted movie.
On one hand we have Hyderabad Blues which dealt with love and adjustments, then on the other we have Dollar Dreams which deals about options and choices.
One scene in the movie which will definitely make you to take notice of CHARACTER is when one couple who are expecting a baby in 2 months are frantically trying to get a visa so that the baby is born in USA and become a citizen. Forget the production value, this is a must watch movie. The language used is so common man’s language. The group of friends calling themselves Lafoot Gang( Fit-for-nothing).
Sekhar had no idea of post-production, he had no idea as to where he should register his movie, he had no idea how to find a distributor and whom to show the screening to get a distributor to buy it. The movie has more of English than Hindi/Telugu and he thought of registering the name under a English movie. Now he didnt know that if he had registered the movie as a telugu movie he would have cut a lot of cost, but he learnt. He learnt the hard way. He did not get distributors who would buy the reels. But, the fighter that he is.. he did not loose hope. He went to the manager of Sangeet theatre( Secunderabad’s then most hep movie hall) and paid money to the theatre owner to rent his theatre for one show a day for three days. One noon show for three days. He was pretty damn sure that if atleast 100 people watch his movie, by the word of mouth it would run. that is exactly what happened. people loved the movie, the movie was lapped by youngsters more. Then he had distributors queued up. He made a small amount of profit on the movie. the movie won him the prestigious National award for the best debutant director. Sekhar has arrived.
ANAND 2004
The puncline for the movie: Manchi Coffee Lanti Cinema ( Cinema like a good Coffee). It couldnt have been better. The puchline defined it all. Wonderful movie, beautiful music, beautiful editing, spectacular directon. Super performance by the lead actress Komalinee Mukherjee( who played shilpa Shetty Sister in Phir Milenge). The movie did not boast of any huge superstars, or any foreign locales. A very low budget movie. Sekhar did it again.
Even after the moderate sucess and high critical acclaim of Dollar Dreams Sekhar had to start th journey from the scratch. No investors, no producers. But, he wanted to make this movie right from his student days when he was studying Cinema. As mentioned earlier he had written the script of Anand as his final thesis. He was passionate about this movie, he believed in this movie. The movie if made would be released into telugu movie Industry when the movie which were ruling were Factionist movies, teenage movies and mindless comic movies. But, that had to stop according to Sekhar. A fantastic movie can be made without any of these was his answers with Anand. And boy-o-boy he did make it.
The movie begins during Roopa’s( Komalinee) childhood. She looses all her family in a terrible car accident. She believes she had a part in the death of her family as had she not tried to stop them they could have avoided the accident. Roopa grows into a confident yet unsure at times beautiful girl. She is about to get married to her Boyfriend, but, she is in two states of mind if she is marrying him because she loves him or because she he has everything in him that a girl when faced with araanged marriage scenario will never say no to. The marriage is broken on the wedding day beacuse of the adamant behaviour of the guy’s mom and i wont budge behaviour of Roopa. Enter Anand( Raja). Anand is the son of the person who in his drunken stupor hit the car driven my Roopa’s parents causing their death.
The film from there takes you through a journey.. the journey that sekhar mastered in his next venture Godavari..but started in Anand. The journey of Love-hate relationship was captured almost unbelievebly. The banters between Roopa-Anand- Anita(Roopa’s chilhood friend) are seen to be believed as to how real they look. The idea is “lifted”. Lifted from your life, lifted from my life, lifted from the life of the pan-wallah, lifted from my Grandma’s life. The movie gets so dangeroulsy close to real life that at times you feel that you are Roopa, that you are Anand, that you are Anita, that you are Anish Kuruvilla(Anand’s cousin and executive producer of the movie).
Some ohh so real scenes
Anand asking the Grandma to rent the room to him and explains to her how good-boy he is
Anand asking Anita if he can join her for a jog and Anita instantly retorts saying Light Tesuko( Light le… Chill out.. tahnks but no thanks)
Someone in the bus tries talking to Roopa about her broken marriage, and seeing roopa’s discomfort.. Anand asks her to tell such kind of people to shut up… Roopa’s response… You Hsut up
Little girl asking anand to give her the toothpaste so she can eat some
Anand when confromted by Rowdies doesnt resort to fighting with them, but just calls the police.
Anand talking about Roopa’s Ass
If i keep mentioning all the “ohh so real scenes” i would be putting in paper the entire screenplay.
Some amazing songs, equally amzing picturisation. Anand is a class 101 for all the students of the film craft to learn on how to make a fantastcic movie with a shoe-string budget. All you need is the drive.. the drive to captivate the viewers with you storytelling and attarcting the viewers into your thought process. The same drive did not diminish in Sekhar after the major success of Anand. The same passion, the same dedication, the same honesty was to be seen in his in next venture:
Godavari (2006)
A very good article on the review of Godavari is written by cinema fanatic Sudha can be found here The Journey is continued from where he had a small halt in Anand. Godavari is the story of characters evolving during a boat ride. It is loosley based on the characterization of Lord Rama from Ramayana. Ram(Sumanth) is a selfless guy who would give away his last penny to the needy. After completing his education in USA he wants to join politics but doesnt know where to start
. Sita is an Independent woman( or she believes she is) who’s Clothing business is dead as a do-do.
They both land up on the same boat which is going to Bhadrachalam.. and then shuru ho gaya safar( thats the start of the journey). the way Sekhar meticulously delas with his characters is amazing. there are no unwanted characters in the movie, there is no character which is ill-defined. Crytal clear.. every aspect of the movie is CRYTAL CLEAR. There is a subplot of a dog which is hillarious. Never have i seen the use of a “sutradhar” so imaginatively that too through a dog. Every scene invoving the dog cracks you up. …
(oz’s comment : to be continued… this post was “forcibly” published by oz, so readers could enjoy this amazing write up… next in line - striker’s secret obsession)
sekhar.....kammula........ANAND......
And Sekhar came out with flying colours with his film finding acceptance along with the Telugu remake of the Hindu hit "Munnabhai M.B.B.S."
"I knew that it would either be a huge hit or a huge flop", says Sekhar who bagged the National Award for his English film "Dollar Dreams". He was hailed as a trailblazer since he set a new trend of multiplex movies in Telugu.
Unlike the rest in his profession, the big find of this season feels that this is a time of reckoning for Telugu filmdom. He thinks Telugu cinema can sink further if it keeps repeating itself.
Sekhar spoke to IANS about "Anand", the future of Telugu cinema and his own plans.
Q: Did you expect "Anand" to become such a smashing hit?
A: Though I was confident about my concept, I was prepared for the worst. I thought that it would either be a huge hit or a complete washout. Luckily, the audience loved it.
Most of the buyers liked the film and said so, but no one was willing to invest in it since it didn't fit into their formulas. It was difficult to change their mindset. So I released it on my own. I also believed that a realistic film could succeed among routine potboilers since we have just handful of genuine hits this year. Besides, good performances, an interesting plot, good comedy and lilting music also made it a winner.
Q: Do you feel that this is a time of reckoning for Telugu filmdom?
A: Yes, definitely, because the audience has been rejecting routine potboilers described as 'formula films'. All of us should introspect and change our views. We cannot carry on with our pre-conceived notions, but should attempt something realistic and fresh.
Even buyers have to encourage novel concepts since they have burnt their fingers by investing in big movies. If a small-budget movie flops, buyers would not end up on the road and, if it succeeds, then it can bring double investment.
Q: Do you think "Anand" can set a trend for multiplex Telugu films?
A: I hope so because many aspiring makers can now try out something different from the routine with a bit of confidence. The audience has given a clear verdict for sensible films. Let us all resolve to cater to them.
I tried to set this trend with my maiden film "Dollar Dreams", but it couldn't happen. I am happy to achieve this with a Telugu film.
Q: Normally non-resident Indians (NRIs) are known for making crossover English films but you intend to settle down as a Telugu filmmaker?
A: I dislike being called a NRI since my heart lies in India. I do have regard for the US for giving me status and money but I also feel that most NRIs yearn to return to their roots.
With "Anand", I have proved my taste for classical music. Even the plot is truly Indian. My next film will definitely be in Telugu but with a different concept and a new team since I dislike repeating myself.
I have been browsing through a few ideas but nothing has been finalised. I don't intend to cash in on the opportunity at the moment by hastily announcing a film. I would prefer to announce one when I have a concrete script in my hand.
"I knew that it would either be a huge hit or a huge flop", says Sekhar who bagged the National Award for his English film "Dollar Dreams". He was hailed as a trailblazer since he set a new trend of multiplex movies in Telugu.
Unlike the rest in his profession, the big find of this season feels that this is a time of reckoning for Telugu filmdom. He thinks Telugu cinema can sink further if it keeps repeating itself.
Sekhar spoke to IANS about "Anand", the future of Telugu cinema and his own plans.
Q: Did you expect "Anand" to become such a smashing hit?
A: Though I was confident about my concept, I was prepared for the worst. I thought that it would either be a huge hit or a complete washout. Luckily, the audience loved it.
Most of the buyers liked the film and said so, but no one was willing to invest in it since it didn't fit into their formulas. It was difficult to change their mindset. So I released it on my own. I also believed that a realistic film could succeed among routine potboilers since we have just handful of genuine hits this year. Besides, good performances, an interesting plot, good comedy and lilting music also made it a winner.
Q: Do you feel that this is a time of reckoning for Telugu filmdom?
A: Yes, definitely, because the audience has been rejecting routine potboilers described as 'formula films'. All of us should introspect and change our views. We cannot carry on with our pre-conceived notions, but should attempt something realistic and fresh.
Even buyers have to encourage novel concepts since they have burnt their fingers by investing in big movies. If a small-budget movie flops, buyers would not end up on the road and, if it succeeds, then it can bring double investment.
Q: Do you think "Anand" can set a trend for multiplex Telugu films?
A: I hope so because many aspiring makers can now try out something different from the routine with a bit of confidence. The audience has given a clear verdict for sensible films. Let us all resolve to cater to them.
I tried to set this trend with my maiden film "Dollar Dreams", but it couldn't happen. I am happy to achieve this with a Telugu film.
Q: Normally non-resident Indians (NRIs) are known for making crossover English films but you intend to settle down as a Telugu filmmaker?
A: I dislike being called a NRI since my heart lies in India. I do have regard for the US for giving me status and money but I also feel that most NRIs yearn to return to their roots.
With "Anand", I have proved my taste for classical music. Even the plot is truly Indian. My next film will definitely be in Telugu but with a different concept and a new team since I dislike repeating myself.
I have been browsing through a few ideas but nothing has been finalised. I don't intend to cash in on the opportunity at the moment by hastily announcing a film. I would prefer to announce one when I have a concrete script in my hand.
Sekhar Kammula...........
a MS post graduate in computer science from USA - had come back to Hyderabad in 1999 when every graduate staying in SR Nagar-Kukatpally belt was desperately trying for work permits and visas to fly to USA. He joined Citicorp as a software professional and spent around 20 lakhs to make his first film 'Dollar Dreams' that fetched him the most coveted National Award in the best debutant director category. After a gap of 3 years, he is back with a bang to make a complete Telugu entertainer 'Anand' with 50% funding from National Film Development Counsel. Know more about Sekhar Kammula with whom every techie who want to enter film industry as director could associate with -..........
Tell us about how Dollar Dreams happened?
I did my graduation in Mechanical Engineering at Osmania University, Hyderabad. Then I went to USA to do my MS in Computer Science at University of New Jersey. I am a hardcore movie buff watching all Chiranjeevi movies on the first show of the first day. But what made feel that I am capable of making films is that I could able to see things differently compared to others. I think I have a philosophical angle to my nature and the way I observe the things.
I spent so much time watching things and I am capable of seeing and analyzing things differently. Hence, I decided that I should enter the field of moviemaking at one point of time. I wanted to join a film institute in USA. But I did not have money. I decided that I would earn money and then join a film institute to hone my skills.
I do love the country USA absolutely. There is lot of scope to broaden yourself. I am not speaking about the power of dollar. One can make money anywhere and anytime. They have tremendous attitude. Whatever they like to do they would do it. They have completely different mindset. I always wanted to return to India because I am attached to parents and I love Hyderabad. So I set my priorities right. Do job. Earn money. Go to film school. And return to India.
I had a very simple life in USA so that I could save money. When I started saving money, I applied for a film school at Howard University. I wrote in the statement of purpose while applying for film school that I tend to think about the things which people tend to ignore when they try accomplishing the materialistic needs. And I love small things in life and enjoy watching the tender feelings exhibited by kids and thoroughly love the things showered by nature upon us. That's what seems to have impressed the Chairman of the film school. He called upon me immediately and offered me admission into institute. I wanted some financial assistance. But they made it clear that its not possible in any film training school. I was one of the best students in the class. When we made small films, there was no ego or hierarchy. We used to work collectively. I used to be the light man sometimes, cinematographer or editor while learning the direction of the film.
I did thesis in my final semester and I did my thesis on screenplay. I have chosen the subject of Anand as the basic story of my thesis screenplay.
Finally I got my MFA (Master in Fine Arts) degree. Its not a 6months course. It's a 3 years (60 credit course) master degree. I had two degrees in USA. One is MS in Computer Science and other one is MFA. After 5 years of stay in USA, I returned to India.
That was in 1999. There was a tremendous boom in software field. As everybody was going to USA to earn dollars, I returned to India to do a job in Citicorp. I slowly started meeting people related to film industry.
There was so much of exodus from Hyderabad to USA in 1999. My sister is a gynecologist. She told me a strange incident that happened in her hospital. A lady was requesting my sister to do a 4th month abortion to her because she would be going to USA a year later and she want her kid to be citizen of USA by giving birth to him/her in USA. I felt that it was heights of insanity. That incident really inspired me. And that's what they taught me in school. Chose the subject of your film from an inspiring incident. I did not think about budget. I did not think about marketing my film. I did not think about the total outcome.
At that point of time 'Hyderabad Blues' was released. That genre inspired me. I pooled up money from my savings and borrowing from my friends. We started a banner called 'Amigos Creations' (Amigos means friends in Spanish). We cast people who are new to film industry for the freshness. The characters in 'Dollar Dreams' speak in 3 languages (Hindi, English and Telugu). I registered the film as English film. At that time I was not aware that I would have got subsidy for the film if it were registered as Telugu language. By the time I completed 1st copy I spent around Rs. 16 lakhs. When I started marketing the film, the distributors were putting questions like 'who is the hero? Who is music director? Which language film is this? I was totally zapped, because I did not have any satisfactory answers for the questions posed by distributors. Still, I has tremendous confidence and guts to continue my mission.
Then I approached the management of Sangeet theater in Secunderabad and told him that my film is a film that people would love to watch in Sangeet theater. I asked him to have a preview show and buy it if he likes the film. But he is pucca commercial man. He said that he would rent theater at flat rate of Rs. 10,000/- per show and he was not interested in buying the film. I had to finally agree for it and I booked Sangeet theater for one show a day for 28 days. We used to go to all corporate houses and fore sell the tickets of the film. It ran for 4 weeks nonstop. Then 20th Century Fox people saw the film and agreed to release it nationwide. He asked me to dub the Telugu dialogues in English. Then we started spending money on other things. We got lots of visibility at national level. But the icing on the cake was National Award (Swarna Kamal) for the best debutant director. Since then things started rolling for me. I sold the satellite rights of the film. I have lots of rights unsold for Dollar Dreams. I am confident that one day I would be breaking even on that project. I lost around 4-5 lakhs on Dollar Dreams. But I am very much satisfied for all the things that happened because of Dollar Dreams.
After Dollar Dreams, I started meeting producers to tell stories. All of them wanted a storyline. When I told them storyline, they used to feel that its too simple. Then I used to give them bounded script of Anand. They used to read a few scenes and tell that its OK. But nobody came forward. Actually a script cannot be read in pieces. Just like you watch a film continuously in a theater for 2 and half hours, one had to read the script continuously from 1st page to last page at a stretch to understand the content and the underlying feelings completely.
How did you get the funding from NFDC for Anand?
I met somebody at one of the film festivals and he suggested the name of NFDC (National Film Development Counsel). I applied for NFDC. Earlier they used to give 100% funding. But most of the makers used to take 50-60 lakhs as funding and spend only 10 lakhs to produce inflated bills. Hence, they wanted to see some accountability from director as well. Hence they came forward to fund 50% of the project. I also liked that idea and I believe 'Anand' would start a new trend in Telugu film industry in terms of funding.
Tell about the casting in Anand?
I felt that artist Raja has sharp looks and good smile. He is also a method actor. He does not have any melodrama in his acting. When I personally met him, I came to know that he had formal training in Florida as an actor. I am also impressed by the passion he has for cinema. He trusts my abilities as a director. Its nice to work with an actor who trusts you than the actor who is more interested in number of songs and locations of the songs.
We cast all non-established actors as character artists in Anand. We have been in this process for the past 3 months. Casting the heroines is a big problem. We went to Mumbai and Bangalore and could not get the appropriate one. Then I came to know about a Bengali girl Kamalinee. Did a screen-test to her and she is perfect.
Why did you chose to construct the set at a private land in Padmarao Nagar, unlike traditional outdoor studios like RFC and Nanakram Guda?
I visited RFC and Nanakram Guda and could not find the right place. I need a big house and an outhouse situated adjacently. I stay in Padmarao Nagar. Hence, I have more proximity by having the set here. Kamalinee is also put up in a house at Padmarao Nagar now. Raja would shifting his residence to Padmarao Nagar for the shoot of this film soon. We all are working on simple things with commitment for an effective result. I am not a typical filmy person. I am not used to studios in Jubilee Hills and Banjara Hills. I want to get the things done in a simple way. 40% of the film's shooting would be done in this set. We have a very homely atmosphere in that set. I want to get out tender feelings from actors and transfer it on to the screen.
Why did you name your film as Anand?
The word Anand means joy. If I were to put a caption to this film I would have kept 'the way of life'. Because every film that is churned out today are having captions, I did not have any caption for Anand.
Being a different director, how did you fall prey to 6-song tradition for Anand?
Actually I wanted to keep a couple of montage songs in the film to advance the story. When I sat with Veturi I realized that I could see 1000's of expressions expressed as 2 words in lyrics. Hence we fixed upon having six songs in 'Anand'. All songs are written by Veturi. Veturi is known for efficiency in writing spontaneous lyrics. But he took 30 days to write lyrics for Anand.
Tell us about the music?
I went back to old songs. Its not that we copied any old songs. But we implanted the flavor we find in golden oldies in this film. They also elevate lyrical value. I am writing dialogues myself because I want the dialogues to be natural.
Who is your favorite actor, actress and director?
I am great fan of Chiranjeevi since my childhood. Bapu is my favorite film director. I like Tabu a lot. She has great histrionic abilities and sensuality. When I searched for a heroine for Anand, I told the people that I was looking for a junior Tabu.
Did you get any appreciation from regular Telugu filmmakers?
When we held that Anand's pressmeet, director Krishnavamsi called me and wished all the best and told a few good words. It was a wonderful moment for me.
Are you feeling tensed because you are making movie by putting your hard-earned money?
No. I am feeling secured, because I have my job of software profession in tact. I took vacation from my company and working over this project.
If Anand becomes a hit, would you continue as a full fledged director?
I prefer staying the way I am now. I don't want to churn out continuous films just because my film has become hit. I would prefect to encourage people who worked in my direction departments. I would produce films by making them directors.
How did you come to know about idlebrain?
I guess every Telugu software engineer knows about idlebrain. All of us surf idlebrain in every first hour of our day in office. I find the name idlebrain very catchy. Idlebrain is very up-to-date and current. But I don't know how you make money. I heard that big software firms in India like Wipro, Satyam and CTS firewalled idlebrain.com, which is a pretty good compliment.
Why did you choose to make Happy Days after Godavari film?
I have both sweet and bitter memories about Godavari film. It was a budget failure. I expected the market of my films to grow after Anand. Hence we spent around 7 crores on making Godavari. It did well in cities. But could not catch up with the B and C centers. Godavari film - though deals with the ambitions of youth - did not cater to youth crowds.
My nephew complained that all my films cater to women. He wanted me to make a youth film. I happened to go to my alma mater CBIT one day. It suddenly stuck me that we never had any genuine Telugu college film in the last one-decade that does not deal with teen love and college politics. I wanted to capture the freshness, first love, confusion, career ambitions etc we go through in our college days. I also realized that the students these days do not have the kind of attachment we used to have to our college in our student days. That is probably due to the change in the culture. I then decided to make a film that romanticizes college life. I wrote the script in one and half months.
Why did you title the film as Happy Days?
The best moments of everybody's life are in they college days. Hence I titled the film as Happy Days.
What was the next step after writing script?
I knew that I had to achieve two things in order to make this film work. The first one is to cast fresh faces and the second one is take permission from CBIT to shoot the film over there. I managed to get the permission to shoot my film in CBIT for free of cost. I ran talent search in Big FM and idlebrain.com and managed to get 7 out of 8. We had to cast Tamanna (an actress with experience) in one role because we could not get any right girl through talent search. We did not cast guys/girls who can dance and do good dialogue delivery. We have meticulously chosen each actor to suit the character.
How did you train these new faces?
I have the habit of distributing the bound script to each and every cast and crew member before the shoot so that they knew exactly whey they were supposed to do. But for these news guys, I gave only their part of the script. Each and every one of them would have done each scene at least 50 times before they did it in front of the camera. I am feeling lucky to get such competitive actors. They brought a lot of freshness to the film with their own styles.
Tell us about the characterizations?
These eight characters in this film are of different type - studious guy, nerd, confused guy, playboy, tomboy etc. All these characters represent different walks of life.
What is Happy Days all about?
Happy Days deals with the 4 years of undergraduate college life. The whole cycle one goes through while studying at college. This film is bound to have nostalgic effect on the moviegoers. Everybody will connect with it. This film sports a challenging screenplay. Happy Days is an event driven story. At the same time there will be conflict aspect in the film, which would sustain the attention of viewers till the last frame.
Don't you think introducing eight principle characters as main leads it self would take at least half an hour? How are you going to make sure that people get to understand four parallel tracks (between the pairs) running without causing any confusion?
For such a story like this, it is a challenging task to write screenplay and do editing. This film boasts of very strong screenplay and editing.
Who is your targeted audience?
I have a set of audiences who are familiar with my films. I would be getting more attention from youth for this film. Happy Days is an urbane flick.
What is the budget of the film?
3 crores.
The rumor has it that your made a table profit of around 3 crores?
(Giggles without saying yes or no)
Are you going to change your car now?
Yes. I would be buying Honda Civic very soon.
What are the number of working days?
100 days
How much of negative did you expose?
Around 2 lakh feet. It was necessary because I shot lots of scenes in the film in backlight.
What is the runtime of the film?
2.35 hours.
Where did you minimize your budget?
I had gone for corporate tie-ups. Our tie up with Pantaloon saved us a lot on costumes front. Location charges are free because CBIT refused to charge me. I did not use any fancy camera equipment except for the hawk lenses. The remunerations of cast are minimal as I signed new faces. All the technicians worked for a relatively less remuneration and gave their maximum output. It is like a collaboration of a good cinema.
What is the response for the music?
It attained unanimous good talk. But these days we find more people who listen to songs and less people who buy music albums. People got used for free digital downloads which are affecting sales in urban areas.
Three songs in Happy Days album have same tune?
It is like the signature tune of the film. If you observe carefully these three songs have same charanams too. It gives a brand recall. And it's not bad to have such signature tunes. Veteran lyricist Veturi once told me that Ghantasala's masterpiece Pathala Bhairavi has only one raga in the entire album.
What is the reason behind releasing Happy Days on 28th September in USA as it clashes with the most expected high-prints release Chirutha?
There are two reasons for that
1. My commitment towards my word: I promised my USA distributor that I would be releasing the film on 14, 21 or 28th of this month. He also booked the theaters. I did not want to go back on my word. When I discussed this with AP distributor Dil Raju, he suggested that we had to make sure that the gap between Indian and USA release should be minimal. Hence we decided to come on 2nd October in India instead of 5th October.
2. I am always supremely confident about my movies. I always show my film to the distributors before selling it. And I show my films to press by organizing previews before releasing it.
A few of the guys from USA tried to caution me that people would not watch more than one film in a week. I wish that people watch both movies (Happy Days and Chirutha).
Happy Days is a film to which you can even take your Tamil and North friends along with you as 90% of NRIs have engineering background. This film deals with a story happened in an engineering college. I am sure that Happy Days will cross language barrier in USA.
You released Anand film on the same day of Shankar Dada MBBS. Now you are releasing Happy Days on the same day of Chirutha release in USA. What is the reason?
For me, Chiranjeevi is an icon. He went against the wave to become what he is today. I am at the beginning of my career and I am also going against the tide. The release clash happens to be just an unintentional coincidence. I am sure that Chiranjeevi will appreciate my efforts as he too might have gone through these things in the beginning of his career. It is an uphill task for me.
I would like to tell you a small incident
What is it?
We released Anand film with five prints and Shankar Dada got released with 300 prints. The prints were done at Rama Naidu labs a day before the release. We had to send one print to Vizag and we got hold of a van driver and asked him to transport the print. He waited till mid-night. When we got the print out and handed it over to him, he was pretty much disappointed and asked us 'idi chiranjeevi cinema kaada'? We had to give extra money to appease him.
Do you want to say anything to the crowds in abroad who is going to watch Happy Days?
We are taking a huge risk by releasing Happy Days in USA first. I need everybody's cooperation to prevent piracy. If you observe anybody shooting the film using cell phones or other recorded devices in theater, please stop them. If you make Happy Days release in the US a success, there will be many more urban oriented films releasing first in USA.
Tell us about how Dollar Dreams happened?
I did my graduation in Mechanical Engineering at Osmania University, Hyderabad. Then I went to USA to do my MS in Computer Science at University of New Jersey. I am a hardcore movie buff watching all Chiranjeevi movies on the first show of the first day. But what made feel that I am capable of making films is that I could able to see things differently compared to others. I think I have a philosophical angle to my nature and the way I observe the things.
I spent so much time watching things and I am capable of seeing and analyzing things differently. Hence, I decided that I should enter the field of moviemaking at one point of time. I wanted to join a film institute in USA. But I did not have money. I decided that I would earn money and then join a film institute to hone my skills.
I do love the country USA absolutely. There is lot of scope to broaden yourself. I am not speaking about the power of dollar. One can make money anywhere and anytime. They have tremendous attitude. Whatever they like to do they would do it. They have completely different mindset. I always wanted to return to India because I am attached to parents and I love Hyderabad. So I set my priorities right. Do job. Earn money. Go to film school. And return to India.
I had a very simple life in USA so that I could save money. When I started saving money, I applied for a film school at Howard University. I wrote in the statement of purpose while applying for film school that I tend to think about the things which people tend to ignore when they try accomplishing the materialistic needs. And I love small things in life and enjoy watching the tender feelings exhibited by kids and thoroughly love the things showered by nature upon us. That's what seems to have impressed the Chairman of the film school. He called upon me immediately and offered me admission into institute. I wanted some financial assistance. But they made it clear that its not possible in any film training school. I was one of the best students in the class. When we made small films, there was no ego or hierarchy. We used to work collectively. I used to be the light man sometimes, cinematographer or editor while learning the direction of the film.
I did thesis in my final semester and I did my thesis on screenplay. I have chosen the subject of Anand as the basic story of my thesis screenplay.
Finally I got my MFA (Master in Fine Arts) degree. Its not a 6months course. It's a 3 years (60 credit course) master degree. I had two degrees in USA. One is MS in Computer Science and other one is MFA. After 5 years of stay in USA, I returned to India.
That was in 1999. There was a tremendous boom in software field. As everybody was going to USA to earn dollars, I returned to India to do a job in Citicorp. I slowly started meeting people related to film industry.
There was so much of exodus from Hyderabad to USA in 1999. My sister is a gynecologist. She told me a strange incident that happened in her hospital. A lady was requesting my sister to do a 4th month abortion to her because she would be going to USA a year later and she want her kid to be citizen of USA by giving birth to him/her in USA. I felt that it was heights of insanity. That incident really inspired me. And that's what they taught me in school. Chose the subject of your film from an inspiring incident. I did not think about budget. I did not think about marketing my film. I did not think about the total outcome.
At that point of time 'Hyderabad Blues' was released. That genre inspired me. I pooled up money from my savings and borrowing from my friends. We started a banner called 'Amigos Creations' (Amigos means friends in Spanish). We cast people who are new to film industry for the freshness. The characters in 'Dollar Dreams' speak in 3 languages (Hindi, English and Telugu). I registered the film as English film. At that time I was not aware that I would have got subsidy for the film if it were registered as Telugu language. By the time I completed 1st copy I spent around Rs. 16 lakhs. When I started marketing the film, the distributors were putting questions like 'who is the hero? Who is music director? Which language film is this? I was totally zapped, because I did not have any satisfactory answers for the questions posed by distributors. Still, I has tremendous confidence and guts to continue my mission.
Then I approached the management of Sangeet theater in Secunderabad and told him that my film is a film that people would love to watch in Sangeet theater. I asked him to have a preview show and buy it if he likes the film. But he is pucca commercial man. He said that he would rent theater at flat rate of Rs. 10,000/- per show and he was not interested in buying the film. I had to finally agree for it and I booked Sangeet theater for one show a day for 28 days. We used to go to all corporate houses and fore sell the tickets of the film. It ran for 4 weeks nonstop. Then 20th Century Fox people saw the film and agreed to release it nationwide. He asked me to dub the Telugu dialogues in English. Then we started spending money on other things. We got lots of visibility at national level. But the icing on the cake was National Award (Swarna Kamal) for the best debutant director. Since then things started rolling for me. I sold the satellite rights of the film. I have lots of rights unsold for Dollar Dreams. I am confident that one day I would be breaking even on that project. I lost around 4-5 lakhs on Dollar Dreams. But I am very much satisfied for all the things that happened because of Dollar Dreams.
After Dollar Dreams, I started meeting producers to tell stories. All of them wanted a storyline. When I told them storyline, they used to feel that its too simple. Then I used to give them bounded script of Anand. They used to read a few scenes and tell that its OK. But nobody came forward. Actually a script cannot be read in pieces. Just like you watch a film continuously in a theater for 2 and half hours, one had to read the script continuously from 1st page to last page at a stretch to understand the content and the underlying feelings completely.
How did you get the funding from NFDC for Anand?
I met somebody at one of the film festivals and he suggested the name of NFDC (National Film Development Counsel). I applied for NFDC. Earlier they used to give 100% funding. But most of the makers used to take 50-60 lakhs as funding and spend only 10 lakhs to produce inflated bills. Hence, they wanted to see some accountability from director as well. Hence they came forward to fund 50% of the project. I also liked that idea and I believe 'Anand' would start a new trend in Telugu film industry in terms of funding.
Tell about the casting in Anand?
I felt that artist Raja has sharp looks and good smile. He is also a method actor. He does not have any melodrama in his acting. When I personally met him, I came to know that he had formal training in Florida as an actor. I am also impressed by the passion he has for cinema. He trusts my abilities as a director. Its nice to work with an actor who trusts you than the actor who is more interested in number of songs and locations of the songs.
We cast all non-established actors as character artists in Anand. We have been in this process for the past 3 months. Casting the heroines is a big problem. We went to Mumbai and Bangalore and could not get the appropriate one. Then I came to know about a Bengali girl Kamalinee. Did a screen-test to her and she is perfect.
Why did you chose to construct the set at a private land in Padmarao Nagar, unlike traditional outdoor studios like RFC and Nanakram Guda?
I visited RFC and Nanakram Guda and could not find the right place. I need a big house and an outhouse situated adjacently. I stay in Padmarao Nagar. Hence, I have more proximity by having the set here. Kamalinee is also put up in a house at Padmarao Nagar now. Raja would shifting his residence to Padmarao Nagar for the shoot of this film soon. We all are working on simple things with commitment for an effective result. I am not a typical filmy person. I am not used to studios in Jubilee Hills and Banjara Hills. I want to get the things done in a simple way. 40% of the film's shooting would be done in this set. We have a very homely atmosphere in that set. I want to get out tender feelings from actors and transfer it on to the screen.
Why did you name your film as Anand?
The word Anand means joy. If I were to put a caption to this film I would have kept 'the way of life'. Because every film that is churned out today are having captions, I did not have any caption for Anand.
Being a different director, how did you fall prey to 6-song tradition for Anand?
Actually I wanted to keep a couple of montage songs in the film to advance the story. When I sat with Veturi I realized that I could see 1000's of expressions expressed as 2 words in lyrics. Hence we fixed upon having six songs in 'Anand'. All songs are written by Veturi. Veturi is known for efficiency in writing spontaneous lyrics. But he took 30 days to write lyrics for Anand.
Tell us about the music?
I went back to old songs. Its not that we copied any old songs. But we implanted the flavor we find in golden oldies in this film. They also elevate lyrical value. I am writing dialogues myself because I want the dialogues to be natural.
Who is your favorite actor, actress and director?
I am great fan of Chiranjeevi since my childhood. Bapu is my favorite film director. I like Tabu a lot. She has great histrionic abilities and sensuality. When I searched for a heroine for Anand, I told the people that I was looking for a junior Tabu.
Did you get any appreciation from regular Telugu filmmakers?
When we held that Anand's pressmeet, director Krishnavamsi called me and wished all the best and told a few good words. It was a wonderful moment for me.
Are you feeling tensed because you are making movie by putting your hard-earned money?
No. I am feeling secured, because I have my job of software profession in tact. I took vacation from my company and working over this project.
If Anand becomes a hit, would you continue as a full fledged director?
I prefer staying the way I am now. I don't want to churn out continuous films just because my film has become hit. I would prefect to encourage people who worked in my direction departments. I would produce films by making them directors.
How did you come to know about idlebrain?
I guess every Telugu software engineer knows about idlebrain. All of us surf idlebrain in every first hour of our day in office. I find the name idlebrain very catchy. Idlebrain is very up-to-date and current. But I don't know how you make money. I heard that big software firms in India like Wipro, Satyam and CTS firewalled idlebrain.com, which is a pretty good compliment.
Why did you choose to make Happy Days after Godavari film?
I have both sweet and bitter memories about Godavari film. It was a budget failure. I expected the market of my films to grow after Anand. Hence we spent around 7 crores on making Godavari. It did well in cities. But could not catch up with the B and C centers. Godavari film - though deals with the ambitions of youth - did not cater to youth crowds.
My nephew complained that all my films cater to women. He wanted me to make a youth film. I happened to go to my alma mater CBIT one day. It suddenly stuck me that we never had any genuine Telugu college film in the last one-decade that does not deal with teen love and college politics. I wanted to capture the freshness, first love, confusion, career ambitions etc we go through in our college days. I also realized that the students these days do not have the kind of attachment we used to have to our college in our student days. That is probably due to the change in the culture. I then decided to make a film that romanticizes college life. I wrote the script in one and half months.
Why did you title the film as Happy Days?
The best moments of everybody's life are in they college days. Hence I titled the film as Happy Days.
What was the next step after writing script?
I knew that I had to achieve two things in order to make this film work. The first one is to cast fresh faces and the second one is take permission from CBIT to shoot the film over there. I managed to get the permission to shoot my film in CBIT for free of cost. I ran talent search in Big FM and idlebrain.com and managed to get 7 out of 8. We had to cast Tamanna (an actress with experience) in one role because we could not get any right girl through talent search. We did not cast guys/girls who can dance and do good dialogue delivery. We have meticulously chosen each actor to suit the character.
How did you train these new faces?
I have the habit of distributing the bound script to each and every cast and crew member before the shoot so that they knew exactly whey they were supposed to do. But for these news guys, I gave only their part of the script. Each and every one of them would have done each scene at least 50 times before they did it in front of the camera. I am feeling lucky to get such competitive actors. They brought a lot of freshness to the film with their own styles.
Tell us about the characterizations?
These eight characters in this film are of different type - studious guy, nerd, confused guy, playboy, tomboy etc. All these characters represent different walks of life.
What is Happy Days all about?
Happy Days deals with the 4 years of undergraduate college life. The whole cycle one goes through while studying at college. This film is bound to have nostalgic effect on the moviegoers. Everybody will connect with it. This film sports a challenging screenplay. Happy Days is an event driven story. At the same time there will be conflict aspect in the film, which would sustain the attention of viewers till the last frame.
Don't you think introducing eight principle characters as main leads it self would take at least half an hour? How are you going to make sure that people get to understand four parallel tracks (between the pairs) running without causing any confusion?
For such a story like this, it is a challenging task to write screenplay and do editing. This film boasts of very strong screenplay and editing.
Who is your targeted audience?
I have a set of audiences who are familiar with my films. I would be getting more attention from youth for this film. Happy Days is an urbane flick.
What is the budget of the film?
3 crores.
The rumor has it that your made a table profit of around 3 crores?
(Giggles without saying yes or no)
Are you going to change your car now?
Yes. I would be buying Honda Civic very soon.
What are the number of working days?
100 days
How much of negative did you expose?
Around 2 lakh feet. It was necessary because I shot lots of scenes in the film in backlight.
What is the runtime of the film?
2.35 hours.
Where did you minimize your budget?
I had gone for corporate tie-ups. Our tie up with Pantaloon saved us a lot on costumes front. Location charges are free because CBIT refused to charge me. I did not use any fancy camera equipment except for the hawk lenses. The remunerations of cast are minimal as I signed new faces. All the technicians worked for a relatively less remuneration and gave their maximum output. It is like a collaboration of a good cinema.
What is the response for the music?
It attained unanimous good talk. But these days we find more people who listen to songs and less people who buy music albums. People got used for free digital downloads which are affecting sales in urban areas.
Three songs in Happy Days album have same tune?
It is like the signature tune of the film. If you observe carefully these three songs have same charanams too. It gives a brand recall. And it's not bad to have such signature tunes. Veteran lyricist Veturi once told me that Ghantasala's masterpiece Pathala Bhairavi has only one raga in the entire album.
What is the reason behind releasing Happy Days on 28th September in USA as it clashes with the most expected high-prints release Chirutha?
There are two reasons for that
1. My commitment towards my word: I promised my USA distributor that I would be releasing the film on 14, 21 or 28th of this month. He also booked the theaters. I did not want to go back on my word. When I discussed this with AP distributor Dil Raju, he suggested that we had to make sure that the gap between Indian and USA release should be minimal. Hence we decided to come on 2nd October in India instead of 5th October.
2. I am always supremely confident about my movies. I always show my film to the distributors before selling it. And I show my films to press by organizing previews before releasing it.
A few of the guys from USA tried to caution me that people would not watch more than one film in a week. I wish that people watch both movies (Happy Days and Chirutha).
Happy Days is a film to which you can even take your Tamil and North friends along with you as 90% of NRIs have engineering background. This film deals with a story happened in an engineering college. I am sure that Happy Days will cross language barrier in USA.
You released Anand film on the same day of Shankar Dada MBBS. Now you are releasing Happy Days on the same day of Chirutha release in USA. What is the reason?
For me, Chiranjeevi is an icon. He went against the wave to become what he is today. I am at the beginning of my career and I am also going against the tide. The release clash happens to be just an unintentional coincidence. I am sure that Chiranjeevi will appreciate my efforts as he too might have gone through these things in the beginning of his career. It is an uphill task for me.
I would like to tell you a small incident
What is it?
We released Anand film with five prints and Shankar Dada got released with 300 prints. The prints were done at Rama Naidu labs a day before the release. We had to send one print to Vizag and we got hold of a van driver and asked him to transport the print. He waited till mid-night. When we got the print out and handed it over to him, he was pretty much disappointed and asked us 'idi chiranjeevi cinema kaada'? We had to give extra money to appease him.
Do you want to say anything to the crowds in abroad who is going to watch Happy Days?
We are taking a huge risk by releasing Happy Days in USA first. I need everybody's cooperation to prevent piracy. If you observe anybody shooting the film using cell phones or other recorded devices in theater, please stop them. If you make Happy Days release in the US a success, there will be many more urban oriented films releasing first in USA.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Mani Ratnam: A Profile -Part1
Introduction
If there is any one in the history of Indian film industry who delivered crowd pleasing films with out going down on aesthetics and artistic values, only one name comes to mind – Mani Ratnam.
The name, Mani Ratnam needs no introduction. He is the man behind the films like ‘Nayakan’ – one of the two Indian films to be listed in top 100 films of the world, ‘Mouna Ragam’, ‘Agni Nachatram’, ‘Dalapati’, ‘Yuva’, ‘Dil Se’ and most recently ‘Guru’.
Mani Ratnam was born on June 2nd, 1956 in the temple town of Madurai in Tamilnadu. Films were his every day’s cup of tea. Being born in to a family of film producers and distributors (father “Venus” Gopalratnam was a producer and brother G Venkateswaran was a film distributor), Mani Ratnam plunged into the world of cinema immediately after his graduation.
From his first film “Pallavi Anupallavi” to his latest Bollywood ventures (“Yuva
“, “Guru”) his films always dealt with realistic and contemporary issues and yet the stories were packaged in a commercial format. Not many of the Indian film makers, from the past or the present, showed this amazing balance between art and commerce like Mani Ratnam did.
Keeping aside the so called ‘art film directors’ like Satyajit Ray, Mrinal Sen, John Abraham, Shyam Bengal and others alike, there are not many of the Indian mainstream directors can be called an ‘auteur’. Mani Ratnam bears an exception to this rule. Film after film, his aesthetics and artistic vision showed no signs of compromise, and yet most his films are crowd pleasers and they offer something for every class of audience. His films always portrayed characters with a character. All of his characters are straight out of the real life and his stories are logical, relevant and contextual to the society.
Films:
Pallavi AnuPallavi — the song of Life
At 27, Mani Ratnam made his debut feature “Pallavi Anupallavi”, a Kannada film starring Anil Kapoor and Lakshmi and Kiran Vairale.
Anil Kapoor plays the role of Vijay whose life is torn between two women, Madhu (Kiran Vairale) and Anu (Lakshmi). Having promised his love for Madhu, Vijay finds himself in the web of a relationship with Anu, an older woman separated from her husband. In this film Mani dealt with issues like adultery, divorce, love and friendship and the blurred line that separates them. The earthly colours, realistic characters, actors sans makeup and most of his trade mark cinematic brilliance can be seen, though in a raw format, in this film.
The innovation in his narrative structure is the most striking aspect of this film. In south Indian classical music Pallavi is the main stanza of a song and anupallavi is the sub-main stanza of a song. By choosing two stories of Vijay, one in love with Madhu and the other with Anu, Mani definitely had an innovative scheme for his debut film.
For reasons unknown this ‘song of life’ couldn’t find many hearers and was a big disappointment at the box office. It took another three films and three years for the audience to accept the master of the craft (art).
Mani Ratnam’s selection of Ilayaraja for music and Balu Mahendran for cinematography clearly shows his innate taste for good music and visuals. No wonder that his films always featured a scintillating music track and amazing visuals.
“Pallavi Anupallvi” won the best screenplay award at the Kannada State film awards. This film was later dubbed in to Tamil under the title “Priya O Priya”.
Unaru — Feelings
After his debut venture ‘Pallavi Anupallavi’ in Kannada, Mani Ratnam went on to make his next film in Malayalam with Mohanlal in the lead role.
Unaru is the story of a man who rejects to belong. This movie tried to catch a glimpse of the economic and social situation of Kerala of those days. Mohanlal arrives in a town and he finds it strange when tea vendor rejects to serve him tea, reason? Mohanlal is not associated to any political party and rejects to belong to any. In a state where you need to belong to a trade union to get a job, Mohanlal plays the role of an unemployed youth struggling find an identity beyond the trade unions and political parties.
This was the only Malayalam film Mani Ratnam has directed. Like his first film, this too had not done well at the box office.
His collaboration with Ilayaraja continued in this film too. Ramachandra Babu, elder brother of Ravi K Chandran, was the man behind the camera for this film.
Pagal Nilavu – Clouded talent
The third film from Mani Ratnam, ‘Pagal Nilavu’, was finally in Tamil. After a failure in Kannada and a failure in Malayalam, Mani Ratnam delivered yet another failure with this Tamil film.
‘Pagal Nilavu’ featured Satyaraj and Murali apart from a huge star cast like Sarath Babu, Radhika, Revathi and others. This film is love story set in the backdrop of crime drama.
Devarajan (Satyaraj) is the cold-blooded village crime lord. Peter (Sarath Babu) is the sincere police inspector who boldly hit at the illegal activities of Devarajan. Selvam (Murali) is the trustworthy henchman of Devarajan. Jyoti (Revati), the sister of Peter falls in love with Selvam. The multi dimensional drama that burst out among these four characters forms the core of this film.
Mani Ratnam, whose story lines, mostly, are simple, has chosen here a strapping story with a many sub plots. He even had a comedy track which is very unusual of his style of filmmaking. The only other Mani Ratnam film which had a detached comedy track is ‘Geetanjali’.
The screenplay of this film is at times lagging and clichéd. Like his first two films, this film too did not do well at the box office but the capacity was clear and sound. This film along with his two previous films served as a training ground for his subsequent films.
The role of Satyaraj draws an enormous inspiration from Godfather. It is this theme that’s later developed in to full-scale with ‘Nayakan’. The scenes between Murali and Revati form a kind of baseline for ‘Mouna Ragam’.
Mani Ratnam’s success collaboration with Ilayaraja continued and this time they delivered a massive hit in terms of music. The songs from this film are still fresh and the song ‘Poomaalaye’ is one of Ilayaraja’s all time best. Ramachandra Babu from ‘Unaru’ provided the cinematography for this film.
Idhaya Kovil – Straight from the heart
After three successive failures Mani Ratnam has delivered a moderate success with his fourth film ‘Idhaya Kovil’.
‘Idhaya Kovil’ is a very original offering from Mani Ratnam. It takes an artist to understand the mind of another artist and Mani Ratnam successfully captured the trauma of a singer (Mohan). Mohan comes to the city and succeeds in a big way but the loss of his love makes him an errant. Sisters in real life, Ambika and Radha play the roles of the women in the life of Mohan.
The trauma of an artist loosing his inspiration was captured well and though there are numerous films with such storylines, ‘Idhaya Kovil’ comes straight from the heart and it is original. It is difficult to compare this film with his subsequent films or the preceding film. This film was neither a success nor a failure but falls some where in the middle. It is surely not a classic but is surely bearable.
Mani Ratnam’s uncanny ability to extract from the actors is the consistent aspect of all his films. Even this film boasts a good set of acting skills from Mohan, Ambika and Radha.
Mani Ratnam and Ilayaraja collaboration delivered another musical hit with this film.
Mouna Ragam – Suddenly somebody
When Mouna Ragam was released in 1986 it took the Tamil film industry by storm and when it was dubbed into Telugu with the same title it was an instantaneous hit. The world sat up and took notice of Mani Ratnam and form then on there was no looking back for him.
After four years of filmmaking experience and four failures weighing heavily on his back Mani Ratnam collaborated with Ilayaraja for music, PC Sriram for cinematography and seasoned actors, mostly from his previous films, to deliver a film of an amazing quality and talent.
Hailed as one of the landmark films of Tamil cinema, at once Mani Ratnam was hailed as a master filmmaker and the film itself set a standard for quality cinema.
Divya (Revati) complies with the middle class mindset and family pressures and gets married to Chandrakumar (Mohan), a compassionate and pleasant manager from Delhi. The marriage between them never takes off; Reason? Divya has a past and she is unable to come over it. The troubled marriage ends in filing for divorce but they fail to attain one because, the law stipulates a minimum one year of marital life before divorce. The lives of these people who live separate and distant lives under the same roof occupy the rest of the film.
What sets this film apart from his previous films is the screenplay. The story of the film as such is not anything phenomenal than the stories of the other four films. The screenplay, the portrayal of the characters, the music, acting, cinematography and every other technical department came together to deliver this landmark film. The scintillating music track by maestro Ilayaraja is another major asset of the film.
One cannot deny that the film borrowed many ideas from another Tamil film Nenjathai Killathe which has an almost similar theme and familiar scenes. The backdrops of both the stories are set in a different city (Delhi in Mouna Ragam and Calcutta in Nenjathai Killathe). The climax in both the films takes place at a similar location (Airport in Nenjathai Killathe and Train station in Mouna Ragam). One scene that’s common in both these films is the scene where the lead actor comes home to find the lead actress sleeping on the couch shivering and he covers up her with a blanket. It cannot be a coincidence but at the same time it is difficult to write off a genius like Mani Ratnam as a copy cat.
Mouna Ragam was remade in to Kasak in Hindi. The film ‘Hum Dil De Chuke Hai Sanam’ by Sanjay Leela Bhansali bears a similar storyline.
Nayakan – no looking back
Nayakan is the story of Velu Naicker (Kamal Hassan). As a boy Velu kills the police who killed his father. Fearing the police Velu runs away to Bombay. Initially he embraces a life of drug peddling and by killing a notorious police officer (Pradeep Sakti) he raises to the status of the hero of the slums. The rest of the story is about the raise of Velu as the don of Mumbai mafia.
The characterisation, the story line, acting of the film ‘Nayakan’ are very much similar to Godfather but it is unique and stands out as an exemplary piece of perfect filmmaking. It is not only from Godfather, but also from another gangster epic, ‘Once upon a time in America’, that Mani Ratnam borrowed the ideas for this film. It is simple to say that Mani Ratnam copied/borrowed ideas but it is through his genuine artistic vision that he produced a brilliant piece Indian cinema.
Although, this film does not enquire into the minds of criminals and nature of power and its politics but it does offer a great insight into the life of a gangster boss. Many a films dealt with the similar theme and no Indian film can even come close to this film.
Nayakan, although is based on Godfather, it doesn’t fake like Ram Gopal Varma does in Sarkar (Another remake of Godfather). One cannot say that Nayakan is better than Coppola’s Godfather but its no mean feat for an Indian director, with just one hit film to cling to, to make a film which stood on par with the original. Songs which form an undeniable part of Indian mainstream cinema were used, not as hero/heroine’s escape to fantasy lands, but as an inevitable part of the cinema experience. This was the major asset of Mani Ratnam’s films. He continued to use songs (mostly) as another narrative device to progress the story but just blend into the narrative.
Kamal Hassan, who has established himself as an actor capable of portraying diversified roles, played the role of Velu Naicker with utmost authenticity. He won his second national award for his depiction of Velu Naicker’s role in the film. For Ilayaraja it was his 400th film and indeed it featured a soundtrack and background music that was considered as a milestone in his career. P C Sriram added a gritty realism to Mani Ratnam’s vision through his brilliant visuals. The art direction by Thota Tarani is flawless and adds to the naturalistic vision of Mani Ratnam. Thota Tarani’s art work in recreating the Dharavi slums of Bombay in Madras has brought him the national award for best art direction.
Nayakan is one of the only three Indian films listed in all-time 100 best films and it is a very rare honour for an Indian film.
Nayakan was later remade into ‘Dayavan’ in Hindi.
Agni Nachatiram –slick pop flick
After the path breaking success of his two earlier films, Mouna Ragam and Nayakan, Mani Ratnam delivered a pure entertainer in the popular format with Agni Nachatiram.
Agni Nachatiram is the story of two half-brothers and their rivalry. Gautam (Prabhu) is the legitimate son of Viswanath, a law enforcement officer. Ashok (Karthik) is also the son of Viswanath but a by-product of an illicit relationship. The film is about the violent confrontations of these half-brothers and how they come together, in the end, to save the life of their father is the rest of the story.
Agni Nachatiram is known for its amazing music tracks and the pop-video like look of the film. Glossy cinematography, explicit stylisation, remarkable lighting, added to the stylistic look of the film and Mani Ratnam gave a taster for the audience of late 80’s, a taste of M-TV like visually stylish videos.
Ilayaraja and PC Sriram collaborated once again with Mani Ratnam for this film and this film stands out as a great technical achievement in terms of music, editing and cinematography. This film boasts one of the amazing set of music tracks and even today the songs from this film are a huge hit. The tracks ‘Thoongatha Vizhigal’ in the raga ‘Amritavarshini’ and ‘ninu kori varnam’ in the raga ‘Mohanam’ are true melodies and a class apart.
The climax scene of this film is a straight life from Godfather and it shows the impact of the western films on Mani Ratnam. This film was later remade into ‘Vansh’ in Hindi.
Anjali – Caution: Children at work
After three trend-setting films Mani Ratnam has established himself as one of the finest Indian filmmakers of those times. His next film Anjali was a film of unique vision and brought out a different facet of his talent, his apparent ease of handling child actors. Anjali is a film about kids, but not just for kids.
Raghuvaran and Revathi are happily married with two kids. The wife, Revati, believes that the child has died during the delivery. Raghuvaran hides the secret about their third child, who was born with severe learning difficulties. The peace at the home is disrupted when the little girl, Anjali, is brought back to their home.
Mani Ratnam’s deftness in handling a huge bunch of kids is what makes this film a near masterpiece. Loosely inspired by the book ‘Mr God, this is Anna’ and paying homage to the sci-fi films Star Wars and ET, Mani Ratnam has delivered a completely different film than his previous films. Mani Ratnam as usual adds his touch and the end result is beautiful film portraying the shaded emotions of a family dealing with a mentally disabled kid.
Prabhu plays the role of a criminal and the kids spy on him. This episode is similar to the film, ‘Whistle down the wind’ in which a bunch of kids take a criminal for God and help him by hiding him in barn. Some of the shots from his film, Geetanjali find references to this film.
Long before Sanjay Leela Bhansali made Black, Mani Ratnam made this film dealing with mental illness and it is Shalini, the girl who played the role of Anjali, who steals the show. Never before in Indian cinema was a film which had kids playing the main roles and no film can match the performances of these kids.
With this film Mani Ratnam has achieved a greater understanding of the film language and the technical aspects of filmmaking. Apart from the direction he was best known for getting the best out of the actors and for collaborating with the best technicians. All of his films boasted great cinematography, precise editing, impeccable set design, and great music. As usual Ilayaraja was at his best in this film and delivered scintillating music tracks and it was Madhu Ambat who provided the cinematography for this film.
If there is any one in the history of Indian film industry who delivered crowd pleasing films with out going down on aesthetics and artistic values, only one name comes to mind – Mani Ratnam.
The name, Mani Ratnam needs no introduction. He is the man behind the films like ‘Nayakan’ – one of the two Indian films to be listed in top 100 films of the world, ‘Mouna Ragam’, ‘Agni Nachatram’, ‘Dalapati’, ‘Yuva’, ‘Dil Se’ and most recently ‘Guru’.
Mani Ratnam was born on June 2nd, 1956 in the temple town of Madurai in Tamilnadu. Films were his every day’s cup of tea. Being born in to a family of film producers and distributors (father “Venus” Gopalratnam was a producer and brother G Venkateswaran was a film distributor), Mani Ratnam plunged into the world of cinema immediately after his graduation.
From his first film “Pallavi Anupallavi” to his latest Bollywood ventures (“Yuva
“, “Guru”) his films always dealt with realistic and contemporary issues and yet the stories were packaged in a commercial format. Not many of the Indian film makers, from the past or the present, showed this amazing balance between art and commerce like Mani Ratnam did.
Keeping aside the so called ‘art film directors’ like Satyajit Ray, Mrinal Sen, John Abraham, Shyam Bengal and others alike, there are not many of the Indian mainstream directors can be called an ‘auteur’. Mani Ratnam bears an exception to this rule. Film after film, his aesthetics and artistic vision showed no signs of compromise, and yet most his films are crowd pleasers and they offer something for every class of audience. His films always portrayed characters with a character. All of his characters are straight out of the real life and his stories are logical, relevant and contextual to the society.
Films:
Pallavi AnuPallavi — the song of Life
At 27, Mani Ratnam made his debut feature “Pallavi Anupallavi”, a Kannada film starring Anil Kapoor and Lakshmi and Kiran Vairale.
Anil Kapoor plays the role of Vijay whose life is torn between two women, Madhu (Kiran Vairale) and Anu (Lakshmi). Having promised his love for Madhu, Vijay finds himself in the web of a relationship with Anu, an older woman separated from her husband. In this film Mani dealt with issues like adultery, divorce, love and friendship and the blurred line that separates them. The earthly colours, realistic characters, actors sans makeup and most of his trade mark cinematic brilliance can be seen, though in a raw format, in this film.
The innovation in his narrative structure is the most striking aspect of this film. In south Indian classical music Pallavi is the main stanza of a song and anupallavi is the sub-main stanza of a song. By choosing two stories of Vijay, one in love with Madhu and the other with Anu, Mani definitely had an innovative scheme for his debut film.
For reasons unknown this ‘song of life’ couldn’t find many hearers and was a big disappointment at the box office. It took another three films and three years for the audience to accept the master of the craft (art).
Mani Ratnam’s selection of Ilayaraja for music and Balu Mahendran for cinematography clearly shows his innate taste for good music and visuals. No wonder that his films always featured a scintillating music track and amazing visuals.
“Pallavi Anupallvi” won the best screenplay award at the Kannada State film awards. This film was later dubbed in to Tamil under the title “Priya O Priya”.
Unaru — Feelings
After his debut venture ‘Pallavi Anupallavi’ in Kannada, Mani Ratnam went on to make his next film in Malayalam with Mohanlal in the lead role.
Unaru is the story of a man who rejects to belong. This movie tried to catch a glimpse of the economic and social situation of Kerala of those days. Mohanlal arrives in a town and he finds it strange when tea vendor rejects to serve him tea, reason? Mohanlal is not associated to any political party and rejects to belong to any. In a state where you need to belong to a trade union to get a job, Mohanlal plays the role of an unemployed youth struggling find an identity beyond the trade unions and political parties.
This was the only Malayalam film Mani Ratnam has directed. Like his first film, this too had not done well at the box office.
His collaboration with Ilayaraja continued in this film too. Ramachandra Babu, elder brother of Ravi K Chandran, was the man behind the camera for this film.
Pagal Nilavu – Clouded talent
The third film from Mani Ratnam, ‘Pagal Nilavu’, was finally in Tamil. After a failure in Kannada and a failure in Malayalam, Mani Ratnam delivered yet another failure with this Tamil film.
‘Pagal Nilavu’ featured Satyaraj and Murali apart from a huge star cast like Sarath Babu, Radhika, Revathi and others. This film is love story set in the backdrop of crime drama.
Devarajan (Satyaraj) is the cold-blooded village crime lord. Peter (Sarath Babu) is the sincere police inspector who boldly hit at the illegal activities of Devarajan. Selvam (Murali) is the trustworthy henchman of Devarajan. Jyoti (Revati), the sister of Peter falls in love with Selvam. The multi dimensional drama that burst out among these four characters forms the core of this film.
Mani Ratnam, whose story lines, mostly, are simple, has chosen here a strapping story with a many sub plots. He even had a comedy track which is very unusual of his style of filmmaking. The only other Mani Ratnam film which had a detached comedy track is ‘Geetanjali’.
The screenplay of this film is at times lagging and clichéd. Like his first two films, this film too did not do well at the box office but the capacity was clear and sound. This film along with his two previous films served as a training ground for his subsequent films.
The role of Satyaraj draws an enormous inspiration from Godfather. It is this theme that’s later developed in to full-scale with ‘Nayakan’. The scenes between Murali and Revati form a kind of baseline for ‘Mouna Ragam’.
Mani Ratnam’s success collaboration with Ilayaraja continued and this time they delivered a massive hit in terms of music. The songs from this film are still fresh and the song ‘Poomaalaye’ is one of Ilayaraja’s all time best. Ramachandra Babu from ‘Unaru’ provided the cinematography for this film.
Idhaya Kovil – Straight from the heart
After three successive failures Mani Ratnam has delivered a moderate success with his fourth film ‘Idhaya Kovil’.
‘Idhaya Kovil’ is a very original offering from Mani Ratnam. It takes an artist to understand the mind of another artist and Mani Ratnam successfully captured the trauma of a singer (Mohan). Mohan comes to the city and succeeds in a big way but the loss of his love makes him an errant. Sisters in real life, Ambika and Radha play the roles of the women in the life of Mohan.
The trauma of an artist loosing his inspiration was captured well and though there are numerous films with such storylines, ‘Idhaya Kovil’ comes straight from the heart and it is original. It is difficult to compare this film with his subsequent films or the preceding film. This film was neither a success nor a failure but falls some where in the middle. It is surely not a classic but is surely bearable.
Mani Ratnam’s uncanny ability to extract from the actors is the consistent aspect of all his films. Even this film boasts a good set of acting skills from Mohan, Ambika and Radha.
Mani Ratnam and Ilayaraja collaboration delivered another musical hit with this film.
Mouna Ragam – Suddenly somebody
When Mouna Ragam was released in 1986 it took the Tamil film industry by storm and when it was dubbed into Telugu with the same title it was an instantaneous hit. The world sat up and took notice of Mani Ratnam and form then on there was no looking back for him.
After four years of filmmaking experience and four failures weighing heavily on his back Mani Ratnam collaborated with Ilayaraja for music, PC Sriram for cinematography and seasoned actors, mostly from his previous films, to deliver a film of an amazing quality and talent.
Hailed as one of the landmark films of Tamil cinema, at once Mani Ratnam was hailed as a master filmmaker and the film itself set a standard for quality cinema.
Divya (Revati) complies with the middle class mindset and family pressures and gets married to Chandrakumar (Mohan), a compassionate and pleasant manager from Delhi. The marriage between them never takes off; Reason? Divya has a past and she is unable to come over it. The troubled marriage ends in filing for divorce but they fail to attain one because, the law stipulates a minimum one year of marital life before divorce. The lives of these people who live separate and distant lives under the same roof occupy the rest of the film.
What sets this film apart from his previous films is the screenplay. The story of the film as such is not anything phenomenal than the stories of the other four films. The screenplay, the portrayal of the characters, the music, acting, cinematography and every other technical department came together to deliver this landmark film. The scintillating music track by maestro Ilayaraja is another major asset of the film.
One cannot deny that the film borrowed many ideas from another Tamil film Nenjathai Killathe which has an almost similar theme and familiar scenes. The backdrops of both the stories are set in a different city (Delhi in Mouna Ragam and Calcutta in Nenjathai Killathe). The climax in both the films takes place at a similar location (Airport in Nenjathai Killathe and Train station in Mouna Ragam). One scene that’s common in both these films is the scene where the lead actor comes home to find the lead actress sleeping on the couch shivering and he covers up her with a blanket. It cannot be a coincidence but at the same time it is difficult to write off a genius like Mani Ratnam as a copy cat.
Mouna Ragam was remade in to Kasak in Hindi. The film ‘Hum Dil De Chuke Hai Sanam’ by Sanjay Leela Bhansali bears a similar storyline.
Nayakan – no looking back
Nayakan is the story of Velu Naicker (Kamal Hassan). As a boy Velu kills the police who killed his father. Fearing the police Velu runs away to Bombay. Initially he embraces a life of drug peddling and by killing a notorious police officer (Pradeep Sakti) he raises to the status of the hero of the slums. The rest of the story is about the raise of Velu as the don of Mumbai mafia.
The characterisation, the story line, acting of the film ‘Nayakan’ are very much similar to Godfather but it is unique and stands out as an exemplary piece of perfect filmmaking. It is not only from Godfather, but also from another gangster epic, ‘Once upon a time in America’, that Mani Ratnam borrowed the ideas for this film. It is simple to say that Mani Ratnam copied/borrowed ideas but it is through his genuine artistic vision that he produced a brilliant piece Indian cinema.
Although, this film does not enquire into the minds of criminals and nature of power and its politics but it does offer a great insight into the life of a gangster boss. Many a films dealt with the similar theme and no Indian film can even come close to this film.
Nayakan, although is based on Godfather, it doesn’t fake like Ram Gopal Varma does in Sarkar (Another remake of Godfather). One cannot say that Nayakan is better than Coppola’s Godfather but its no mean feat for an Indian director, with just one hit film to cling to, to make a film which stood on par with the original. Songs which form an undeniable part of Indian mainstream cinema were used, not as hero/heroine’s escape to fantasy lands, but as an inevitable part of the cinema experience. This was the major asset of Mani Ratnam’s films. He continued to use songs (mostly) as another narrative device to progress the story but just blend into the narrative.
Kamal Hassan, who has established himself as an actor capable of portraying diversified roles, played the role of Velu Naicker with utmost authenticity. He won his second national award for his depiction of Velu Naicker’s role in the film. For Ilayaraja it was his 400th film and indeed it featured a soundtrack and background music that was considered as a milestone in his career. P C Sriram added a gritty realism to Mani Ratnam’s vision through his brilliant visuals. The art direction by Thota Tarani is flawless and adds to the naturalistic vision of Mani Ratnam. Thota Tarani’s art work in recreating the Dharavi slums of Bombay in Madras has brought him the national award for best art direction.
Nayakan is one of the only three Indian films listed in all-time 100 best films and it is a very rare honour for an Indian film.
Nayakan was later remade into ‘Dayavan’ in Hindi.
Agni Nachatiram –slick pop flick
After the path breaking success of his two earlier films, Mouna Ragam and Nayakan, Mani Ratnam delivered a pure entertainer in the popular format with Agni Nachatiram.
Agni Nachatiram is the story of two half-brothers and their rivalry. Gautam (Prabhu) is the legitimate son of Viswanath, a law enforcement officer. Ashok (Karthik) is also the son of Viswanath but a by-product of an illicit relationship. The film is about the violent confrontations of these half-brothers and how they come together, in the end, to save the life of their father is the rest of the story.
Agni Nachatiram is known for its amazing music tracks and the pop-video like look of the film. Glossy cinematography, explicit stylisation, remarkable lighting, added to the stylistic look of the film and Mani Ratnam gave a taster for the audience of late 80’s, a taste of M-TV like visually stylish videos.
Ilayaraja and PC Sriram collaborated once again with Mani Ratnam for this film and this film stands out as a great technical achievement in terms of music, editing and cinematography. This film boasts one of the amazing set of music tracks and even today the songs from this film are a huge hit. The tracks ‘Thoongatha Vizhigal’ in the raga ‘Amritavarshini’ and ‘ninu kori varnam’ in the raga ‘Mohanam’ are true melodies and a class apart.
The climax scene of this film is a straight life from Godfather and it shows the impact of the western films on Mani Ratnam. This film was later remade into ‘Vansh’ in Hindi.
Anjali – Caution: Children at work
After three trend-setting films Mani Ratnam has established himself as one of the finest Indian filmmakers of those times. His next film Anjali was a film of unique vision and brought out a different facet of his talent, his apparent ease of handling child actors. Anjali is a film about kids, but not just for kids.
Raghuvaran and Revathi are happily married with two kids. The wife, Revati, believes that the child has died during the delivery. Raghuvaran hides the secret about their third child, who was born with severe learning difficulties. The peace at the home is disrupted when the little girl, Anjali, is brought back to their home.
Mani Ratnam’s deftness in handling a huge bunch of kids is what makes this film a near masterpiece. Loosely inspired by the book ‘Mr God, this is Anna’ and paying homage to the sci-fi films Star Wars and ET, Mani Ratnam has delivered a completely different film than his previous films. Mani Ratnam as usual adds his touch and the end result is beautiful film portraying the shaded emotions of a family dealing with a mentally disabled kid.
Prabhu plays the role of a criminal and the kids spy on him. This episode is similar to the film, ‘Whistle down the wind’ in which a bunch of kids take a criminal for God and help him by hiding him in barn. Some of the shots from his film, Geetanjali find references to this film.
Long before Sanjay Leela Bhansali made Black, Mani Ratnam made this film dealing with mental illness and it is Shalini, the girl who played the role of Anjali, who steals the show. Never before in Indian cinema was a film which had kids playing the main roles and no film can match the performances of these kids.
With this film Mani Ratnam has achieved a greater understanding of the film language and the technical aspects of filmmaking. Apart from the direction he was best known for getting the best out of the actors and for collaborating with the best technicians. All of his films boasted great cinematography, precise editing, impeccable set design, and great music. As usual Ilayaraja was at his best in this film and delivered scintillating music tracks and it was Madhu Ambat who provided the cinematography for this film.
Cry for Me
I sit up to look at her. Lying like a child, newborn. Reborn. Naked in the white sheets. She looks beautiful like no other. And vulnerable like a lost child. I wonder how I got so lucky. I wonder when was the last time I felt so happy.
With the tip of my finger I just traced her spine. Lightly. So as to not disturb her. She sighed in her sleep and instinctively locked her index finger with mine. My heart swelled with uncontrollable love. And I felt a growing desire to have her again.
She cried today, while we made love. It’s her first time with another man since after he left her. As I intertwined my fingers with hers, I felt a strange elation. Of being the only man in her life now that he was gone. And then she cried again. They were the tears of pain. And joy. Both at the same time. They were the tears of her past. And the tears of her future.
It literally kills me to imagine her with him. I wonder if she gave herself to him with the same joy and inhibition. She opens her eyes at that precise moment and my heart turns to jelly. She has beautiful eyes. Ones that contain all the pain of the world. All the wisdom of the world. And sometimes her eyes talk to me. Whirlpools of black mystery.
I stroke her hair, and her cheek and finally my desires take over me and I forget everything but the building desire within me. And as my hands travel around her suppleness, I think…
Next time maybe she will cry for me…
With the tip of my finger I just traced her spine. Lightly. So as to not disturb her. She sighed in her sleep and instinctively locked her index finger with mine. My heart swelled with uncontrollable love. And I felt a growing desire to have her again.
She cried today, while we made love. It’s her first time with another man since after he left her. As I intertwined my fingers with hers, I felt a strange elation. Of being the only man in her life now that he was gone. And then she cried again. They were the tears of pain. And joy. Both at the same time. They were the tears of her past. And the tears of her future.
It literally kills me to imagine her with him. I wonder if she gave herself to him with the same joy and inhibition. She opens her eyes at that precise moment and my heart turns to jelly. She has beautiful eyes. Ones that contain all the pain of the world. All the wisdom of the world. And sometimes her eyes talk to me. Whirlpools of black mystery.
I stroke her hair, and her cheek and finally my desires take over me and I forget everything but the building desire within me. And as my hands travel around her suppleness, I think…
Next time maybe she will cry for me…
Silent Conversations
You are perched again on your favourite tall chair and watch her closely as she hurls insults after insults at you.
She tells you that you are foolish. Something she keeps remindning you of, all the time. She tells you that someday you will get hurt. So bad that you will not be able to stand anymore.
You are trying hard not to laugh. she loves mothering you and you are always willing to be mothered. When she is through, she looks at you with tearful eyes and asks “why?”
You take in a deep breath and slide off the chair. To be near her. She is crying for you and its a tender moment. You don’t say anything. Because no words could make her understand. You wish you could show the world to her with your sight. But you are afraid that it would be just too much for her.
You hate to bring pain to those who you love and yet it happens again and again. She looks up at you again. Her eyes pleading. The glint of cheer in your eye surprises her. You see her expression change from concern to wonder to understanding. It’s a beautiful change
So subtle, yet so marked. She knows what you know. Though she doesn’t quite understand it. You are beyond her powers of reasoning. Have always been.
Your face breaks into a grin and you see her smiling through the tears. It’s the best conversation that you have ever had…
Maybe thats what best friends are for.
She tells you that you are foolish. Something she keeps remindning you of, all the time. She tells you that someday you will get hurt. So bad that you will not be able to stand anymore.
You are trying hard not to laugh. she loves mothering you and you are always willing to be mothered. When she is through, she looks at you with tearful eyes and asks “why?”
You take in a deep breath and slide off the chair. To be near her. She is crying for you and its a tender moment. You don’t say anything. Because no words could make her understand. You wish you could show the world to her with your sight. But you are afraid that it would be just too much for her.
You hate to bring pain to those who you love and yet it happens again and again. She looks up at you again. Her eyes pleading. The glint of cheer in your eye surprises her. You see her expression change from concern to wonder to understanding. It’s a beautiful change
So subtle, yet so marked. She knows what you know. Though she doesn’t quite understand it. You are beyond her powers of reasoning. Have always been.
Your face breaks into a grin and you see her smiling through the tears. It’s the best conversation that you have ever had…
Maybe thats what best friends are for.
Paradise Rediscovered
You pick up the half wiped slate that lay gathering dust on the floor and try to figure out the broken cobwebbed words. A faint word, a name perhaps that decided to linger on after all these years. Staring hard at you, there it was, the shard of glass from your past that just decided to stab you in the eye. Prem. It simply read. Prem. A name that once rang music in your ears.
The initial feeling is of a rude shock, as if after all these years and all the efforts of moving on, life had come to abruptly spring back on you. You want to throw it away. The slate and the feeling. But you are unable to do either. It was inevitable. The slate had been planted right here, for you to find after the long years…
A rosary with the thin frame of a crucified Jesus hanging on the rear view mirror of a white coloured car, a hand with a mole on the palm, a faded pair jeans with a hole in the back pocket from which peeped a leather wallet, a sheepish laugh lingering on a careworn - sleep deprived face, hair that smelt of anti dandruff shampoo, a Hawaiian guitar with the third string out of tune, a small kiss planted on my shoulder…
You tried to stop the flood of emotions that a simple name could unleash and surprisingly… you didn’t have to try too hard. Not a tear dropped from your eyes. Not today. Not now. You have stood the test of time, realizing that some wounds do not heal with time… and some memories do not lie still in their graves, they back even without being stirred.
The initial feeling is of a rude shock, as if after all these years and all the efforts of moving on, life had come to abruptly spring back on you. You want to throw it away. The slate and the feeling. But you are unable to do either. It was inevitable. The slate had been planted right here, for you to find after the long years…
A rosary with the thin frame of a crucified Jesus hanging on the rear view mirror of a white coloured car, a hand with a mole on the palm, a faded pair jeans with a hole in the back pocket from which peeped a leather wallet, a sheepish laugh lingering on a careworn - sleep deprived face, hair that smelt of anti dandruff shampoo, a Hawaiian guitar with the third string out of tune, a small kiss planted on my shoulder…
You tried to stop the flood of emotions that a simple name could unleash and surprisingly… you didn’t have to try too hard. Not a tear dropped from your eyes. Not today. Not now. You have stood the test of time, realizing that some wounds do not heal with time… and some memories do not lie still in their graves, they back even without being stirred.
Because She Would Ask Me Why I Loved Her
If questioning would make us wise
No eyes would ever gaze in eyes;
If all our tale were told in speech
No mouths would wander each to each.
Were spirits free from mortal mesh
And love not bound in hearts of flesh
No aching breasts would yearn to meet
And find their ecstasy complete.
For who is there that lives and knows
The secret powers by which he grows?
Were knowledge all, what were our need
To thrill and faint and sweetly bleed?
Then seek not, sweet, the “If” and “Why”
I love you now until I die.
For I must love because I live
And life in me is what you give.
No eyes would ever gaze in eyes;
If all our tale were told in speech
No mouths would wander each to each.
Were spirits free from mortal mesh
And love not bound in hearts of flesh
No aching breasts would yearn to meet
And find their ecstasy complete.
For who is there that lives and knows
The secret powers by which he grows?
Were knowledge all, what were our need
To thrill and faint and sweetly bleed?
Then seek not, sweet, the “If” and “Why”
I love you now until I die.
For I must love because I live
And life in me is what you give.
Mani Ratnam Filmography as director/producer/writer
Guru (2007) - director,writer
The Mahabharata (2007) - director
Thambi (2005) - producer
Yuva (2004) - director,writer,producer
Ayitha Ezhuthu (2004) - producer,writer,director
Saathiya (2002) - producer,writer
Kannathil Muthamittal (2002) - writer,producer,director
Dum Dum Dum (2001) - producer
Alai Payuthey (2000) - director,writer
Dil Se.. (1998) - producer,writer,director
Iruvar (1997) - writer,producer,director
Nerukku Ner (1997) - producer
Aasai (1995) - producer
Bombay (1995) - director,writer,producer
Gaayam (1993) - writer
Thiruda Thiruda (1993) - director,producer,writer
Roja (1992) - director,producer,writer
Thalapathi (1991) - writer,director
Anjali (1990) - director,writer
Gitanjali (1989) - writer,director
Agni Nakshatram (1988) - director,writer
Nayakan (1987) - writer,producer,director
Mouna Ragam (1986) - director,writer
Idaya Kovil (1985) - director
Pagal Nilavu (1985) - director,writer
Unaroo (1984) - director
Pallavi Anu Pallavi (1983) - writer,director
The Mahabharata (2007) - director
Thambi (2005) - producer
Yuva (2004) - director,writer,producer
Ayitha Ezhuthu (2004) - producer,writer,director
Saathiya (2002) - producer,writer
Kannathil Muthamittal (2002) - writer,producer,director
Dum Dum Dum (2001) - producer
Alai Payuthey (2000) - director,writer
Dil Se.. (1998) - producer,writer,director
Iruvar (1997) - writer,producer,director
Nerukku Ner (1997) - producer
Aasai (1995) - producer
Bombay (1995) - director,writer,producer
Gaayam (1993) - writer
Thiruda Thiruda (1993) - director,producer,writer
Roja (1992) - director,producer,writer
Thalapathi (1991) - writer,director
Anjali (1990) - director,writer
Gitanjali (1989) - writer,director
Agni Nakshatram (1988) - director,writer
Nayakan (1987) - writer,producer,director
Mouna Ragam (1986) - director,writer
Idaya Kovil (1985) - director
Pagal Nilavu (1985) - director,writer
Unaroo (1984) - director
Pallavi Anu Pallavi (1983) - writer,director
What really is peace?
Sometimes I lay alone doing nothing but wondering. Wondering what tomorrow has in store for us. I wonder, if it is going to be just another day under the shadow of reassuring falsehood of peace brought (bought) through truce or a day full of bloodshed, hatred & agony.
I wonder what peace means. Is it just the signatures of two diplomats, two premiers of the warring nations on a piece of paper which states that they agree on what are the ten things they disagree to?
I wonder if peace has become just a word which has no significance, a word which is languishing in oblivion a word which no one seems to care for.
I wonder what all this boils down to… Is it our hatred for each other or is just our foolishness. I wonder whether killing of innocent people is justified by the reasoning of “jihad”, by the rationalisation of “ethnic cleansing” and by all other illogical reasons.
Some times I lay alone and wonder…
Wonder if I’ll ever get the answers to my questions. Wonder if people will ever understand the word “peace”.
I wonder what peace means. Is it just the signatures of two diplomats, two premiers of the warring nations on a piece of paper which states that they agree on what are the ten things they disagree to?
I wonder if peace has become just a word which has no significance, a word which is languishing in oblivion a word which no one seems to care for.
I wonder what all this boils down to… Is it our hatred for each other or is just our foolishness. I wonder whether killing of innocent people is justified by the reasoning of “jihad”, by the rationalisation of “ethnic cleansing” and by all other illogical reasons.
Some times I lay alone and wonder…
Wonder if I’ll ever get the answers to my questions. Wonder if people will ever understand the word “peace”.
Little Pleasures
waking up every morning n seeing “1 new message” hoping its from the girl i love..
randomly noticing tht my wireless internet detector has automatically connected to a random neighbors wireless router giving me free access wen i need it the most =)
finding a padlock thts still not been locked even tho the key is lost..
opening any page of my notebooks/textbooks and finding the name of the girl i love…i love writing her name on every piece of paper i can get my hands on..
reading my lady love’s old text msgs..
looking at her pictures everyday, hers n ours together..
thinking about her, times i’ve spent with her, things shes sed to me, her smile, her voice
sitting all sad n suddenly seeing her name on my cell phone coz shes calling me..
blaa…theres a lot of things tht relate to her..little n big tht really make me happy…i jus wish things were better between me n her…n i dno if shes ever ever gona come on these forums but if she ever does, i jus want her to knw im really sorry for putting her thru all tht ive done. im sorry Appole. i love u from the deepest part of my heart, n even tho im posting in a thread wich says wht “little” things make me happy…i jus want u to knw tht ur the “BIGGEST” reason y im always happy.
randomly noticing tht my wireless internet detector has automatically connected to a random neighbors wireless router giving me free access wen i need it the most =)
finding a padlock thts still not been locked even tho the key is lost..
opening any page of my notebooks/textbooks and finding the name of the girl i love…i love writing her name on every piece of paper i can get my hands on..
reading my lady love’s old text msgs..
looking at her pictures everyday, hers n ours together..
thinking about her, times i’ve spent with her, things shes sed to me, her smile, her voice
sitting all sad n suddenly seeing her name on my cell phone coz shes calling me..
blaa…theres a lot of things tht relate to her..little n big tht really make me happy…i jus wish things were better between me n her…n i dno if shes ever ever gona come on these forums but if she ever does, i jus want her to knw im really sorry for putting her thru all tht ive done. im sorry Appole. i love u from the deepest part of my heart, n even tho im posting in a thread wich says wht “little” things make me happy…i jus want u to knw tht ur the “BIGGEST” reason y im always happy.
Good story important says Mani Ratnam
A good story and its distinct depiction on screen is more important than filming technique, says noted movie director Mani Ratnam. Mani is in Goa to participate in the ongoing 38th International Film Festival of India.
A filmmaker has to strive for giving a different angle to a concept by exploring newer ideas borrowed from real life incidents, the director of films like `Nayakan’, `Roja’, `Bombay’, `Uyire’, `Thalapathi’, `Anjali’,`Ayutha ezhuthu’ and `Guru’ said. The vetran director adds “It is more important for me to tell the story convincingly, backed by good performances from actors. A good story without the support of good acting will have no impact on people. However, story is bigger than stars”. According to the director, he is still learning various nuances of film making and his emphasis would be on ensuring a smoother ending. He feels that one of the main reasons why some of my films like `Dil Se’ and `Gitanjali’ did not do well inspite of a good story was abrupt ending. The entire story that has been narrated for two hours, has to end logically as it is the ending for which a movie is remembered by the people.
His message to budding film writers and directors is that the intent should be to make good meaningful mainstream films and not look for awards.
A filmmaker has to strive for giving a different angle to a concept by exploring newer ideas borrowed from real life incidents, the director of films like `Nayakan’, `Roja’, `Bombay’, `Uyire’, `Thalapathi’, `Anjali’,`Ayutha ezhuthu’ and `Guru’ said. The vetran director adds “It is more important for me to tell the story convincingly, backed by good performances from actors. A good story without the support of good acting will have no impact on people. However, story is bigger than stars”. According to the director, he is still learning various nuances of film making and his emphasis would be on ensuring a smoother ending. He feels that one of the main reasons why some of my films like `Dil Se’ and `Gitanjali’ did not do well inspite of a good story was abrupt ending. The entire story that has been narrated for two hours, has to end logically as it is the ending for which a movie is remembered by the people.
His message to budding film writers and directors is that the intent should be to make good meaningful mainstream films and not look for awards.
Lonely Stranger
I must be invisible;
No one knows me.
I have crawled down dead-end streets
On my hands and knees.
I was born with a ragin’ thirst,
A hunger to be free,
But i’ve learned through the years.
Don’t encourage me.
’cause i’m a lonely stranger here,
Well beyond my day.
And i don’t know what’s goin’ on,
So i’ll be on my way.
When i walk, stay behind;
Don’t get close to me,
’cause it’s sure to end in tears,
So just let me be.
Some will say that i’m no good;
Maybe i agree.
Take a look then walk away.
That’s all right with me.
No one knows me.
I have crawled down dead-end streets
On my hands and knees.
I was born with a ragin’ thirst,
A hunger to be free,
But i’ve learned through the years.
Don’t encourage me.
’cause i’m a lonely stranger here,
Well beyond my day.
And i don’t know what’s goin’ on,
So i’ll be on my way.
When i walk, stay behind;
Don’t get close to me,
’cause it’s sure to end in tears,
So just let me be.
Some will say that i’m no good;
Maybe i agree.
Take a look then walk away.
That’s all right with me.
Dry Tears.
Subdued dreams in my eyes
Essence they’ve yet to find,
Sweet flames of bitter desire,
What fire burns in my chest?
Lonely are these nights,
How do I sleep them?
I can’t write any longer,
Dry tears spill on my cheek.
You may be far but close,
The reason my heart beats
It feels you are missing,
And I drown in these memories.
Find me a reason to live,
Tell me how I can forget
To take a breath when
I’m not thinking of you.
Save me before I die,
Loneliness is a habit now,
Your voice I hear at night
Myself I’ve begun to lose.
Oh, I beg for help
Soaked in my own tears,
Dry tears I blink in my eyes,
Haven’t I cried enough, God?
Essence they’ve yet to find,
Sweet flames of bitter desire,
What fire burns in my chest?
Lonely are these nights,
How do I sleep them?
I can’t write any longer,
Dry tears spill on my cheek.
You may be far but close,
The reason my heart beats
It feels you are missing,
And I drown in these memories.
Find me a reason to live,
Tell me how I can forget
To take a breath when
I’m not thinking of you.
Save me before I die,
Loneliness is a habit now,
Your voice I hear at night
Myself I’ve begun to lose.
Oh, I beg for help
Soaked in my own tears,
Dry tears I blink in my eyes,
Haven’t I cried enough, God?
I Lost My Soul................
My shadow creeps on the sidewalks,
They are all empty today.
Used to be crowded once,
But now no one walks this way
The silence is deafening.
It’s ut on a parole.
In these busy streets,
I once lost my soul.
The market that noce bustled
With life, force and energy,
Is today isolated and quiet.
The locks remain but not one Key.
The crowd’s gone,
Everybody has played their role
In this bustling marketplace,
I once lost my soul.
The houses are all deserted.
Where has everyone gone?
I have no choice but
To stand here and mourn.
For the loss is all mine.
Now I have myself to condole.
Why didn’t I look for it then?
Back when I lost my soul…
They are all empty today.
Used to be crowded once,
But now no one walks this way
The silence is deafening.
It’s ut on a parole.
In these busy streets,
I once lost my soul.
The market that noce bustled
With life, force and energy,
Is today isolated and quiet.
The locks remain but not one Key.
The crowd’s gone,
Everybody has played their role
In this bustling marketplace,
I once lost my soul.
The houses are all deserted.
Where has everyone gone?
I have no choice but
To stand here and mourn.
For the loss is all mine.
Now I have myself to condole.
Why didn’t I look for it then?
Back when I lost my soul…
A poem in form of a song in form of a screenplay
Play “why does it always have to rain on me?” By Travis
Turn the lights off
Open eyes
Side of her bed- Violin plays
Close-up of eyes
Her eyes sparkle
I am hugging her
Kissing the nape of her neck
I can’t sleep tonight
Why does have to always rain on me
It’s raining on the insides of her room
I fell in love with you when I was 17
Everybody is saying
But I can’t close my eyes
Her picture
Water is pouring on it
I can’t stand myself
Alone
All these days
Smiling
I lied to you when I was 17
You were the most beautiful of creature
I can’t sleep tonite
Because
You’re still so beautiful
Only to me
I can’t avoid your lightning
Why do you only rain on me?
Turn the lights off
Open eyes
Side of her bed- Violin plays
Close-up of eyes
Her eyes sparkle
I am hugging her
Kissing the nape of her neck
I can’t sleep tonight
Why does have to always rain on me
It’s raining on the insides of her room
I fell in love with you when I was 17
Everybody is saying
But I can’t close my eyes
Her picture
Water is pouring on it
I can’t stand myself
Alone
All these days
Smiling
I lied to you when I was 17
You were the most beautiful of creature
I can’t sleep tonite
Because
You’re still so beautiful
Only to me
I can’t avoid your lightning
Why do you only rain on me?
One Moonlit Night
And on a cool moonlit night, he thought he would bring her the ultimate joy, the food for love - Music.
He picked up his guitar and stole the car keys from his dad’s overcoat and sneaked out the backdoor. Well… He sighed before starting towards her house and crossed his fingers.
Her window was open. It was dark inside. Overcome with his love for her, he felt like a wandering minstrel, come over to make sweet love to her.
He struck the first chords, cleared his throat and began a serenade. A dog barked somewhere, a cat purred. Someone from the neighbouring house threw a tin can. “who is it! Screaming at such an ungodly hour?”, he heard someone screaming. It did not deter him. His sweetheart was worth it.
Somewhere inside, she dreamt of him. The quiet boy who never made a move. She had seen him so many times, looking at her with his wistful gaze. So many times had she caught him staring at her, and he would pretend to look away. She had found him sneaking in her neighbourhood, trying to smell her hair and much more. She liked him, but waited for him to make the first move. She dreamt of him… in her arms, under the cool shade of a palm tree. She dreamt of him… kissing her softly in the gentle moonbeams… she dreamt… What the hell?
“What is that infernal noise?”, she thought as she awakened from her beautiful dream.
“My Princess has risen!” he thought as she walked closer to the window rubbing her eyes. He went down on one knee, raising the guitar to her, blowing a kiss…
He picked up his guitar and stole the car keys from his dad’s overcoat and sneaked out the backdoor. Well… He sighed before starting towards her house and crossed his fingers.
Her window was open. It was dark inside. Overcome with his love for her, he felt like a wandering minstrel, come over to make sweet love to her.
He struck the first chords, cleared his throat and began a serenade. A dog barked somewhere, a cat purred. Someone from the neighbouring house threw a tin can. “who is it! Screaming at such an ungodly hour?”, he heard someone screaming. It did not deter him. His sweetheart was worth it.
Somewhere inside, she dreamt of him. The quiet boy who never made a move. She had seen him so many times, looking at her with his wistful gaze. So many times had she caught him staring at her, and he would pretend to look away. She had found him sneaking in her neighbourhood, trying to smell her hair and much more. She liked him, but waited for him to make the first move. She dreamt of him… in her arms, under the cool shade of a palm tree. She dreamt of him… kissing her softly in the gentle moonbeams… she dreamt… What the hell?
“What is that infernal noise?”, she thought as she awakened from her beautiful dream.
“My Princess has risen!” he thought as she walked closer to the window rubbing her eyes. He went down on one knee, raising the guitar to her, blowing a kiss…
I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud..............
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
He Doesn’t Love Me...........
“How does it feel? Losing your head over a few words?” He asks simply, sipping his cup of tea, looking at the city lights from up above. I have nothing to say. He is right. I have lost my head. Over a couple of words. Yes. I am mad. Stark Crazy. But I do not want to defend myself.
He doesn’t look at me. I have never really interested him much. Or that’s what I believe. Or maybe that’s what he wants me to believe. Only he knows. I am a bit scared though. His nearness is like a dream. Almost fragile. The proximity is breathtakingly painful. I sip another mouthful of warm coffee. And it gushes into my blood. Warm to my insides. I do not know what to attribute the warmth to. Is it him? Or the coffee? Like always I’m confused. Things are not as complicated as they seem. And yet when I really try to look at him, it is all veneers of emotions. He is happy in being sad. And I’m happy in his happiness. Or Sadness.
Sometimes I feel that he looks for her face in mine. And at that moment, I begin to loathe myself. He likes to be left alone. Mostly. And so there are long silences. Ones that speak softly to me on windy nights.
Sometimes when the alcohol churns in my stomach, I hold myself for him. He drives me. Runs through me like poison in my veins. He smiles from the clouds. His laugh rings in the flowing tap water. He grins to me through the tikcing hands of the clock. But he never loves me. Just witnesses me in my darkest moments and makes fun.
He is all that I’ve wanted. And I turn myself over to him every day and every night.
He stands to mock… but he never loves me. He Doesn’t Love Me.
He doesn’t look at me. I have never really interested him much. Or that’s what I believe. Or maybe that’s what he wants me to believe. Only he knows. I am a bit scared though. His nearness is like a dream. Almost fragile. The proximity is breathtakingly painful. I sip another mouthful of warm coffee. And it gushes into my blood. Warm to my insides. I do not know what to attribute the warmth to. Is it him? Or the coffee? Like always I’m confused. Things are not as complicated as they seem. And yet when I really try to look at him, it is all veneers of emotions. He is happy in being sad. And I’m happy in his happiness. Or Sadness.
Sometimes I feel that he looks for her face in mine. And at that moment, I begin to loathe myself. He likes to be left alone. Mostly. And so there are long silences. Ones that speak softly to me on windy nights.
Sometimes when the alcohol churns in my stomach, I hold myself for him. He drives me. Runs through me like poison in my veins. He smiles from the clouds. His laugh rings in the flowing tap water. He grins to me through the tikcing hands of the clock. But he never loves me. Just witnesses me in my darkest moments and makes fun.
He is all that I’ve wanted. And I turn myself over to him every day and every night.
He stands to mock… but he never loves me. He Doesn’t Love Me.
What is love?
A few days ago my friend got married. He is the first one among us to agree to those 7 promises. Initially it was shocking to know of his impending doom, then it became funny but now that everything has been done with, it seems like a reality. On the wedding day we all friends gathered around him and wanted to know what’s the secret. Secret of love. Secret of marriage. Everyone of us has been in and out of love atleast once, all but me. I have never been in love, I have always been without. I’m proud, I’m not emotional, I don’t easily give in to senses. I’m happy.
Don’t begin your relationship thinking of sex.
Feel the real love.
There is happiness in just being together.
That’s when we had to shut his mouth. We couldn’t take his married-man bullshit anymore. But then there was something which struck me. Feel the real love. I don’t know if I have ever felt the real love. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the real love. I love my parents but then everyone loves their parents, even those who hate them. Everything is sounding so cliched. I have always looked forward to the excitement of chase, the bitter the better. But then where is love?
I miss someone because she is gone, would it be called as love. Or is it more like, one gets so used to someone who has always been there and when they are gone you feel the void but it’s not necessarily love. More like a hoarding in front of your house which has been suddenly removed. You dont love hoardings. You love people.
Then what?
I so desperatley want to meet her but I want to appear so perfect and so smooth and so unlike myself that I’m resisting her. I want her so much that I’m afraid of losing her even before I’ve got her. I fear sharing her with anyone. She is making me want to feel extremely apologetic about everything I do. I’m always on the fringes, not wanting to make a wrong move. But I also know that she will forgive me everything I do, but still. I have started feeling differently since I have known her, I can’t pin-point what is it but Ahh! it is something fuckingly funny and good and at the same time it gives me this empty feeling in my stomach. I want to let go, but I’m even afraid to call her. She might be busy. She might be wanting to seek love from someone better than me. She may not be wanting to love me. Maybe she is just humouring me. Or maybe she loves me a lot. I have to ask her many questions. I’ll give her a tight hug when we meet tomorrow or day after or maybe after next summer. I’ll ask her, ‘am I in love with you?’.
Don’t begin your relationship thinking of sex.
Feel the real love.
There is happiness in just being together.
That’s when we had to shut his mouth. We couldn’t take his married-man bullshit anymore. But then there was something which struck me. Feel the real love. I don’t know if I have ever felt the real love. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the real love. I love my parents but then everyone loves their parents, even those who hate them. Everything is sounding so cliched. I have always looked forward to the excitement of chase, the bitter the better. But then where is love?
I miss someone because she is gone, would it be called as love. Or is it more like, one gets so used to someone who has always been there and when they are gone you feel the void but it’s not necessarily love. More like a hoarding in front of your house which has been suddenly removed. You dont love hoardings. You love people.
Then what?
I so desperatley want to meet her but I want to appear so perfect and so smooth and so unlike myself that I’m resisting her. I want her so much that I’m afraid of losing her even before I’ve got her. I fear sharing her with anyone. She is making me want to feel extremely apologetic about everything I do. I’m always on the fringes, not wanting to make a wrong move. But I also know that she will forgive me everything I do, but still. I have started feeling differently since I have known her, I can’t pin-point what is it but Ahh! it is something fuckingly funny and good and at the same time it gives me this empty feeling in my stomach. I want to let go, but I’m even afraid to call her. She might be busy. She might be wanting to seek love from someone better than me. She may not be wanting to love me. Maybe she is just humouring me. Or maybe she loves me a lot. I have to ask her many questions. I’ll give her a tight hug when we meet tomorrow or day after or maybe after next summer. I’ll ask her, ‘am I in love with you?’.
My Favourite things................
Last night I couldn’t sleep. There was a lot of traffic on the road. I have decided to take a break from my cell phone, so it remains switched off most of the time. Having nothing to do, I thought of my favourite things in the world and made a small list.
1. Making soap bubbles while washing hands.
2. Making pot pourries out of the dried garden flowers.
3. Staring at the moon in the wee hours.
4. Playing with stray dogs.
5. Sitting on the dividers in the busiest of roads.
6. Bike rides on cold nights.
7. Bunking economics classes.
8. Drinking coffee at D’Pauls.
9. Sneaking out from my house and going to an expensive restaurant in pyjamas or night shirts.
10. Playing hop-a-scotch in mud slush.
11. Oiling my hair.
12. Speaking on the phone in hushed whispers.
13. Muffins.
14. Jumping in all the puddles on rainy days.
15. Dancing on dark nights in the headlights of a car.
16. Smiling for no reason at all.
17. The smell of the morning aarti.
18. Peanuts in the winter afternoons.
19. Karaoke Bars.
20. Caramel Popcorn.
21. The colour lavender.
22. Hugh Jackman.
23. Butterscotch or french vanilla flavoured icecreams.
24. Meeting unexpected people in unexpected places.
25. Carpools.
26. My mom’s smell.
27. Bitter chocolate.
28. First day first shows.
29. Sarah Mclachlan.
30. Thinking about someone in a boring lecture.
31. Going to an exam unprepared and writing pages after pages of bullshit.
32. Writing with a pencil.
33. Morning walks.
34. Mustard fields.
35. Volvo buses.
1. Making soap bubbles while washing hands.
2. Making pot pourries out of the dried garden flowers.
3. Staring at the moon in the wee hours.
4. Playing with stray dogs.
5. Sitting on the dividers in the busiest of roads.
6. Bike rides on cold nights.
7. Bunking economics classes.
8. Drinking coffee at D’Pauls.
9. Sneaking out from my house and going to an expensive restaurant in pyjamas or night shirts.
10. Playing hop-a-scotch in mud slush.
11. Oiling my hair.
12. Speaking on the phone in hushed whispers.
13. Muffins.
14. Jumping in all the puddles on rainy days.
15. Dancing on dark nights in the headlights of a car.
16. Smiling for no reason at all.
17. The smell of the morning aarti.
18. Peanuts in the winter afternoons.
19. Karaoke Bars.
20. Caramel Popcorn.
21. The colour lavender.
22. Hugh Jackman.
23. Butterscotch or french vanilla flavoured icecreams.
24. Meeting unexpected people in unexpected places.
25. Carpools.
26. My mom’s smell.
27. Bitter chocolate.
28. First day first shows.
29. Sarah Mclachlan.
30. Thinking about someone in a boring lecture.
31. Going to an exam unprepared and writing pages after pages of bullshit.
32. Writing with a pencil.
33. Morning walks.
34. Mustard fields.
35. Volvo buses.
Minus human............
I have been struggling with my sleep for the past few days. Certain things have happened in the past few days that have thrown my life in a disarray.
It’s nothing new. It’s happened before. Each time, it hurts just as much. It takes longer than I thought to get used to the sting.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been sober. It’s been a long time since I’ve been happy. Shit, I can’t remember the last time I was happy… or sober!
2 AM and I cry because I’m still awake,
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I still love him. Winter just wasn’t my season”
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You’re all here for the very same reason
Because you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable
And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button,
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe… just breathe,
May I turn 24 on the base at Fort Bliss
“Just a day” I said down to the flask in my fist,
“Ain’t been sober, since maybe October of last year.”
Here in town you can tell I’ve been down for a while,
But, my God, it’s so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I’ll just sing about it.
There’s a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout because you’re just as far in as you’ll ever be out
And these mistakes you’ve made, you’ll just make them again
If you only try turning around.
2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
Because these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you’ll use them, however you want to
But you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable,
And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
*Song adapted from Anna Nallick’s version.
It’s nothing new. It’s happened before. Each time, it hurts just as much. It takes longer than I thought to get used to the sting.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been sober. It’s been a long time since I’ve been happy. Shit, I can’t remember the last time I was happy… or sober!
2 AM and I cry because I’m still awake,
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I still love him. Winter just wasn’t my season”
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You’re all here for the very same reason
Because you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable
And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button,
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe… just breathe,
May I turn 24 on the base at Fort Bliss
“Just a day” I said down to the flask in my fist,
“Ain’t been sober, since maybe October of last year.”
Here in town you can tell I’ve been down for a while,
But, my God, it’s so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I’ll just sing about it.
There’s a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout because you’re just as far in as you’ll ever be out
And these mistakes you’ve made, you’ll just make them again
If you only try turning around.
2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
Because these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you’ll use them, however you want to
But you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable,
And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
*Song adapted from Anna Nallick’s version.
Ushering in the New Beginning..........
So, here I am… sitting in front of the blank screen… wondering what to write… and the only logical thing is to start with a sincere apology. To all those who happen to read my small space on the internet and missed my absence from it.
As always, no excuses. Just a humble apology for disappearing without a word.
The new year has brought about a first of many things. And this year would be especially important because I am getting married. Believe it or not, it’s not as easy as it seems. the past two months have witnessed many a bitter tears, a thousand angry words, a million apologies and countless smiles!
The fact that the wedding day is approaching, is fast sinking in. 20th April is the date and most of the things have been taken care of. The only thing left now is for me to accept the fact that nothing is going to remain the same anymore, that I am finally saying goodbye to all that I have known, seen and experienced. I am getting prepared for ‘the new life’, trying desperately to not enter it with doubts.
Every person I meet greets me with a word of caution, guised advice and wishes (both good and bad). The premarital jitters are definitely there. So are the hideously stark realizations of the mistakes committed in the past that are being manifested in various forms - threatening the very existence of a blissful future.
However, I have always prided myself for being able to master situations - no matter how shitty. And this time is going to be no different.
Have finally taken out the time and the inclination to work on some freelance projects that had been calling out to me. Did a series on Carnatic Music for a south Indian website. Making an extra buck on the side never hurt anyone.
Work wise thing’s been casually over hung… and I”m getting a little impatient to wrap things up and get immersed fully in the wedding chores.
Ah well not much more to write in here. But I promise that I am going to be a bit more regular here from today!
Oh and Mystielily… you’re back! Yay! And Alicia, thanks for missing me… I am touched!
As always, no excuses. Just a humble apology for disappearing without a word.
The new year has brought about a first of many things. And this year would be especially important because I am getting married. Believe it or not, it’s not as easy as it seems. the past two months have witnessed many a bitter tears, a thousand angry words, a million apologies and countless smiles!
The fact that the wedding day is approaching, is fast sinking in. 20th April is the date and most of the things have been taken care of. The only thing left now is for me to accept the fact that nothing is going to remain the same anymore, that I am finally saying goodbye to all that I have known, seen and experienced. I am getting prepared for ‘the new life’, trying desperately to not enter it with doubts.
Every person I meet greets me with a word of caution, guised advice and wishes (both good and bad). The premarital jitters are definitely there. So are the hideously stark realizations of the mistakes committed in the past that are being manifested in various forms - threatening the very existence of a blissful future.
However, I have always prided myself for being able to master situations - no matter how shitty. And this time is going to be no different.
Have finally taken out the time and the inclination to work on some freelance projects that had been calling out to me. Did a series on Carnatic Music for a south Indian website. Making an extra buck on the side never hurt anyone.
Work wise thing’s been casually over hung… and I”m getting a little impatient to wrap things up and get immersed fully in the wedding chores.
Ah well not much more to write in here. But I promise that I am going to be a bit more regular here from today!
Oh and Mystielily… you’re back! Yay! And Alicia, thanks for missing me… I am touched!
I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair…
Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because –
because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.
Don’t leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.
Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don’t leave me for a second, my dearest,
because in that moment you’ll have gone so far
I’ll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?
because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.
Don’t leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.
Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don’t leave me for a second, my dearest,
because in that moment you’ll have gone so far
I’ll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?
Ordinary Miracle.............
Couldn’t resist posting this… Awesome Song…
It’s not that unusual
When everything is beautiful
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
The sky knows when it’s time to snow
Don’t need to teach a seed to grow
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
Life is like a gift, they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up, and find a way
To give some of your own
Isn’t remarkable?
Like everytime a raindrop falls
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
The birds in winter have their fling
And always make it back by spring
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
When you wake up everyday
Please don’t throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
‘Cause we are all a part
Of the ordinary miracle
It seems so exceptional
That things just turn out after all
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
The sun comes out and shines some bright
And disappears again at night
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
It’s not that unusual
When everything is beautiful
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
The sky knows when it’s time to snow
Don’t need to teach a seed to grow
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
Life is like a gift, they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up, and find a way
To give some of your own
Isn’t remarkable?
Like everytime a raindrop falls
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
The birds in winter have their fling
And always make it back by spring
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
When you wake up everyday
Please don’t throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
‘Cause we are all a part
Of the ordinary miracle
It seems so exceptional
That things just turn out after all
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
The sun comes out and shines some bright
And disappears again at night
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
It’s just another
Ordinary miracle today
Why I remember every frame of Mani Ratnam's films
Movies, I have always believed, are ephemeral in their appeal.
A lot of movies heralded as classics by my parents were overdramatic, unrealistic poetry for me.
If ever I have to choose a 'first among equals', it has to be Mani Ratnam, a director whose creations I've cherished since 1986.
I have always been a movie junkie. My parents dreaded to take me to a cinema hall since I was three. As it happened, once, after seeing the movie Moondram Pirai (Sadma in Hindi), I refused to leave the theatre till Sridevi got back to Kamal Haasan. My parents had to tell me stories for three nights to stop me from crying!
More Mad About Movies!
evoured film magazines as if they were my textbooks.
By the time I was 12, I was writing screenplays hoping to show it to the three people whom I consider the pinnacle of creativity: Kamal Haasan, K Balachander and, of course, Mani Ratnam.
I can still remember every single frame of Mani Ratnam's movies. Like Agni Nakshatram (the story of two stepbrothers) or Mouna Raagam (just another love triangle executed to perfection).
My younger brother and I would enact Agni Nakshatram's climax on the portico of our house every night.
Of course, back then in 1986, I didn't know Mani Ratnam was the director of these movies.
The moment of reckoning came with the movie Nayakan (starring Kamal Haasan). That, till date, is the one of the best movies I have ever seen. A brilliant portrayal of Velu Nayakar by Kamal, Ilayaraja's haunting tunes and, to cap it all, excellent direction by Mani Ratnam.
True, most of the scenes in the movie are inspired from Godfather. But, when you see the movie, the 'native-ness' and the truth in every frame is unmistakable.
Would you like to tell us
Why you are Mad about Movies?
The first scene that people remember is the one in which Kamal weeps in front of the dead body of his son. But there are so many more masterpieces like this in the movie. For example, when Ravi, Kamal's son, convinces him he will take care of a particular undercover operation. Kamal gives him the permission to do so.
He then gives him a paan. That act is his way of giving his son due regard as a 'nayakar'. The son turns away from him and eats it, clearly as a sign of respect to his dad. So much expressed without a single word.
In another scene, when Kamal meets his grandson for the first time, he has nothing to give him but a holy thread. How he executes the scene says volumes about Kamal as an actor and Mani Ratnam as director.
Soon came Dalapathi (starring Mammootty and Rajinikanth). On paper, the story is an excerpt from the Mahabharata. It stars Karna in the lead; Arjuna, Duryodhana and Kunti form the rest of the cast. On screen, you see multi-layered characters driven by different forces of emotions.
There are two things that make Mani Ratnam's movies a treat to watch.
Exemplary performances: I am sure Dalapathi was one of Rajni's best ever performance.
Music: Be it Ilayaraja or A R Rahman, music directors gave him their best. When you see the scene where Rajni finally gets to meet his mother, you will definitely feel a lump in your throat, thanks to Ilayaraja's effective use of silence.
Of course, for both these movies, Mani Ratnam has to share the laurels with superstars like Kamal or Rajni.
But, one of his best works as a director was Anjali, in which he made a two-year-old girl play a child with Down's Syndrome, capturing how she changes the life of her family and her neighbours in her apartment co
Throughout the movie, Anjali refuses to get close to her mother. A few days before her death, she calls out for her. I wonder if anyone can hold back his or her tears in that scene.
One of my personal favourites is Iruvar. It is about two friends etched in the background of their political struggle (strongly inspired by the lives of M G Ramachandran and Karunanidhi).
Every character and relationship in this movie is a masterpiece. For example, Tabu's character as Prakash Raj's second wife acts as his conscience asking exactly the same questions that run in his mind. The conflict of ego is so beautifully shown in the scene where Mohanlal tells Prakash Raj about his decision to join the party.
Ego, prejudice, friendship and regard can coexist between two people -- this is shown so poignantly in this movie.
That is one of the best things about Mani Ratnam's characters. They are not two-dimensional, cause-and-effect driven paper caricatures. They are multi-faceted souls driven by forces that sometimes contradict reason, just like real people.
In Kannathil Muthamittaal, most of my friends couldn't understand why Madhavan, a reformist writer, had to tell his daughter about his real mother. They thought it was a directorial flaw.
He would not have if he were the candyfloss father we have been seeing for so long. But when you get under the skin of the character, you realise that Madhavan has always prided himself on being different. He is a writer with a difference, someone who stands by his ideals. He could not have reacted in any other way.
Now, you can spot a Mani Ratnam movie at first glance: dim lighting, brief dialogues, fantastic background scores, youthful mischief (be it Karthik in Mouna Ragam, or the 'Are you a virgin?' dialogue by Preity Zinta in Dil Se..). These have become trademarks of a director who has brought to life few of the best emotional dramas ever.
What got Ratnam the limelight was his stand on issues of national importance, as seen in Roja and Bombay. But, somehow, the personal touch that each of his characters exudes was absent in these films. What carried these movies, in my opinion, were the emotions attached to the issue, rather than Ratnam's deft potrayal.
You have a lot to live up to when you are Mani Ratnam.
My favourite Mani Ratnam movies:
Nayakan
Anjali
Iruvar
Mouna Raagam
My favourite Mani Ratnam characters:
Karthik (Mouna Raagam)
Kamal Haasan and his foster son (Nayakan).
Madhavan, Shalini (Alai Payuthey)
Madhavan, Simran (Kannathil Muthamittaal).
Shamilee, Revathy (Anjali)
Madhoo (Roja)
A lot of movies heralded as classics by my parents were overdramatic, unrealistic poetry for me.
If ever I have to choose a 'first among equals', it has to be Mani Ratnam, a director whose creations I've cherished since 1986.
I have always been a movie junkie. My parents dreaded to take me to a cinema hall since I was three. As it happened, once, after seeing the movie Moondram Pirai (Sadma in Hindi), I refused to leave the theatre till Sridevi got back to Kamal Haasan. My parents had to tell me stories for three nights to stop me from crying!
More Mad About Movies!
evoured film magazines as if they were my textbooks.
By the time I was 12, I was writing screenplays hoping to show it to the three people whom I consider the pinnacle of creativity: Kamal Haasan, K Balachander and, of course, Mani Ratnam.
I can still remember every single frame of Mani Ratnam's movies. Like Agni Nakshatram (the story of two stepbrothers) or Mouna Raagam (just another love triangle executed to perfection).
My younger brother and I would enact Agni Nakshatram's climax on the portico of our house every night.
Of course, back then in 1986, I didn't know Mani Ratnam was the director of these movies.
The moment of reckoning came with the movie Nayakan (starring Kamal Haasan). That, till date, is the one of the best movies I have ever seen. A brilliant portrayal of Velu Nayakar by Kamal, Ilayaraja's haunting tunes and, to cap it all, excellent direction by Mani Ratnam.
True, most of the scenes in the movie are inspired from Godfather. But, when you see the movie, the 'native-ness' and the truth in every frame is unmistakable.
Would you like to tell us
Why you are Mad about Movies?
The first scene that people remember is the one in which Kamal weeps in front of the dead body of his son. But there are so many more masterpieces like this in the movie. For example, when Ravi, Kamal's son, convinces him he will take care of a particular undercover operation. Kamal gives him the permission to do so.
He then gives him a paan. That act is his way of giving his son due regard as a 'nayakar'. The son turns away from him and eats it, clearly as a sign of respect to his dad. So much expressed without a single word.
In another scene, when Kamal meets his grandson for the first time, he has nothing to give him but a holy thread. How he executes the scene says volumes about Kamal as an actor and Mani Ratnam as director.
Soon came Dalapathi (starring Mammootty and Rajinikanth). On paper, the story is an excerpt from the Mahabharata. It stars Karna in the lead; Arjuna, Duryodhana and Kunti form the rest of the cast. On screen, you see multi-layered characters driven by different forces of emotions.
There are two things that make Mani Ratnam's movies a treat to watch.
Exemplary performances: I am sure Dalapathi was one of Rajni's best ever performance.
Music: Be it Ilayaraja or A R Rahman, music directors gave him their best. When you see the scene where Rajni finally gets to meet his mother, you will definitely feel a lump in your throat, thanks to Ilayaraja's effective use of silence.
Of course, for both these movies, Mani Ratnam has to share the laurels with superstars like Kamal or Rajni.
But, one of his best works as a director was Anjali, in which he made a two-year-old girl play a child with Down's Syndrome, capturing how she changes the life of her family and her neighbours in her apartment co
Throughout the movie, Anjali refuses to get close to her mother. A few days before her death, she calls out for her. I wonder if anyone can hold back his or her tears in that scene.
One of my personal favourites is Iruvar. It is about two friends etched in the background of their political struggle (strongly inspired by the lives of M G Ramachandran and Karunanidhi).
Every character and relationship in this movie is a masterpiece. For example, Tabu's character as Prakash Raj's second wife acts as his conscience asking exactly the same questions that run in his mind. The conflict of ego is so beautifully shown in the scene where Mohanlal tells Prakash Raj about his decision to join the party.
Ego, prejudice, friendship and regard can coexist between two people -- this is shown so poignantly in this movie.
That is one of the best things about Mani Ratnam's characters. They are not two-dimensional, cause-and-effect driven paper caricatures. They are multi-faceted souls driven by forces that sometimes contradict reason, just like real people.
In Kannathil Muthamittaal, most of my friends couldn't understand why Madhavan, a reformist writer, had to tell his daughter about his real mother. They thought it was a directorial flaw.
He would not have if he were the candyfloss father we have been seeing for so long. But when you get under the skin of the character, you realise that Madhavan has always prided himself on being different. He is a writer with a difference, someone who stands by his ideals. He could not have reacted in any other way.
Now, you can spot a Mani Ratnam movie at first glance: dim lighting, brief dialogues, fantastic background scores, youthful mischief (be it Karthik in Mouna Ragam, or the 'Are you a virgin?' dialogue by Preity Zinta in Dil Se..). These have become trademarks of a director who has brought to life few of the best emotional dramas ever.
What got Ratnam the limelight was his stand on issues of national importance, as seen in Roja and Bombay. But, somehow, the personal touch that each of his characters exudes was absent in these films. What carried these movies, in my opinion, were the emotions attached to the issue, rather than Ratnam's deft potrayal.
You have a lot to live up to when you are Mani Ratnam.
My favourite Mani Ratnam movies:
Nayakan
Anjali
Iruvar
Mouna Raagam
My favourite Mani Ratnam characters:
Karthik (Mouna Raagam)
Kamal Haasan and his foster son (Nayakan).
Madhavan, Shalini (Alai Payuthey)
Madhavan, Simran (Kannathil Muthamittaal).
Shamilee, Revathy (Anjali)
Madhoo (Roja)
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