The ancient manual to love-making is not restricted to only the physical aspect of your relationship. It also holds the key to a healthy emotional bond with your partner.
The notion that Kamasutra speaks solely of the physical aspect of sex is extremely skewed. The purpose of Kamasutra was not merely to educate masses about different sexual techniques, but promote a healthy relationship between the partners and constructively use sexual energy. Several Western (and even some Indian) authors, interpreters and commentators have paid attention only to the sexual / physicality aspect, leading to the scripture's misrepresentation. However, look deeper and the teachings of Kamasutra go far beyond sex
The purpose of Kamasutra was not merely to educate masses about different sexual techniques, but promote a healthy relationship between the partners and constructively use sexual energy. Several Western (and even some Indian) authors, interpreters and commentators have paid attention only to the sexual / physicality aspect, leading to the scripture's misrepresentation. However, look deeper and the teachings of Kamasutra go far beyond sex
Participation
Many positions (Asanaas) depicted in the Kamasutra call for active and equal participation of the woman. Rather than sticking to the monotonous / boring missionary position where the woman is a rather passive receiver, the scripture encourages more pro-active positions. Only when there's an equal contribution from both ends will the session truly be fulfilling and fruitful. There's no posture that's meant exclusively for the man, or the woman.
The message: Be it sex or any other matter; ensure that you equally involve your partner. Participation is the key word. When you seek an active role from your partner, (in and out of bed) he/she feels wanted and the synergy between the two leads to greater fulfilment. That's what samabhog (equal pleasure) is all about.
Body image Vs. the body
The varied techniques depicted in the scriptures make sex pleasurable for anyone irrespective of his/her body type and body shape. The person may be muscular, obese, or thin, body issues and pleasure are best not mixed, says Kamasutra.
The message: Work on your body image. You can still make the best of your body provided you stop having unrealistic expectations of how it should look. Acceptance is the word. Magazine covers may be flooded with images of perfect bodies, but don't let them sway you away from realism. Don't let negative body image play spoilsport in your life, sex
Touch matters
The Kamasutra lays a lot of importance on touch, and not only during intercourse. Going by the texts, touch is of varied forms, each designated to arouse a unique sensation from the partner depending on his/her liking. However, the role of touch starts from the foreplay stage itself (at times, the foreplay lasting for hours together) and continues till the very end.
The message: Do not undermine the power of small. That casual hug or the loving caress (initiated much before sex can say a lot more about your feelings than the act itself. The touch may not even lead to anything, but is a very potent method of conveying your emotions. It will do more good to your relationship than most other things.
Dress to impress
The scriptures' emphasis on shringaar cannot be undermined. Almost every character shown in the act in Kamasutra is embellished with elaborate ornaments. This includes men.
The message: While it does depict the culture and traditions of the time when these texts were written, the underlying idea is that of looking good and dressing up for your partner. Many couples after a few years of courting lose the urge to look good (for each other).
However, that's wrong. Just like you take the effort to dress up for a certain occasion, it is important to look at least presentable (if not great) for your partner. Do not undermine the importance of how you look. Get rid of the complacent attitude. It communicates that your partner is not important any more.
Go play
The scriptures pay a lot of importance on the fun element of sex. That is what converts a rather boring, mechanical session to something that a couple looks forward to. Try all the experimenting you want. If the fun element is missing, there's little that you can do.
The message: Learn to have fun with each other. Start by non-sexual activities and build a rapport. Play games, travel together, discuss movies, and find stimulating conversations. When fun becomes easy, no matter what the occasion, the joy will by default be communicated to other aspects of the relationship as well.
The Kamasutra also has advice on ways of making money and renewing friendship with a former lover
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Happy being single forever
They are smart and funny. Wherever they go, they tend to strike a chord in women's hearts. Yet, they stay away from commitment and are happy being single and forever ready to mingle.
That is just how they like it. Media professional Rahul Sharma says it's great to be single. "It's cool as you don't have to worry about being in a binding relationship. You have the freedom to do what you want. And since you're not tied down to anyone, you have the opportunity to meet many women. You can use this opportunity to have a nice fling," he winks.
Many men believe that being a bachelor allows them to be more expressive and live life to the fullest. IT professional Aneet Jhaveri is one such guy. "I like being single as you don't have the burden of putting someone else's needs and desires before your own. I love to travel, and experience cities through their nightlife and restaurants. I make it a point to visit cities within the country and abroad at least once a year. I don't think I would have been able to do that if I was married with a wife and kids."
For some, it is not so much a choice but simply a part of life. Marketing manager Rohit Kapoor is a typical single and available guy who loves hanging out with his friends at his favourite bar and has had many relationships. "I always knew that I wasn't the kind of person who would get into a serious relationship. I like it this way. And I have made some cool friends along the way."
When Bryan Adams sang 18 Till I Die he would have hardly imagined that many guys would make it the motto of their lives. At least this is what seems when you speak to interior designer Akash Roy. He enjoys being single, and says that it's all about feeling young. "No one can say that being married with a family is an easy task. Being single gives me the opportunity to live every single dream of mine and not worry about responsibilities. I can take risks, and I don't have to worry about ruining someone else's life."
While many people may shy away from the concept of bachelorhood always, these men are embracing the joys of single hood happily.
(Names have been changed to protect privacy)
sanat.savanal@timesgroup.com
That is just how they like it. Media professional Rahul Sharma says it's great to be single. "It's cool as you don't have to worry about being in a binding relationship. You have the freedom to do what you want. And since you're not tied down to anyone, you have the opportunity to meet many women. You can use this opportunity to have a nice fling," he winks.
Many men believe that being a bachelor allows them to be more expressive and live life to the fullest. IT professional Aneet Jhaveri is one such guy. "I like being single as you don't have the burden of putting someone else's needs and desires before your own. I love to travel, and experience cities through their nightlife and restaurants. I make it a point to visit cities within the country and abroad at least once a year. I don't think I would have been able to do that if I was married with a wife and kids."
For some, it is not so much a choice but simply a part of life. Marketing manager Rohit Kapoor is a typical single and available guy who loves hanging out with his friends at his favourite bar and has had many relationships. "I always knew that I wasn't the kind of person who would get into a serious relationship. I like it this way. And I have made some cool friends along the way."
When Bryan Adams sang 18 Till I Die he would have hardly imagined that many guys would make it the motto of their lives. At least this is what seems when you speak to interior designer Akash Roy. He enjoys being single, and says that it's all about feeling young. "No one can say that being married with a family is an easy task. Being single gives me the opportunity to live every single dream of mine and not worry about responsibilities. I can take risks, and I don't have to worry about ruining someone else's life."
While many people may shy away from the concept of bachelorhood always, these men are embracing the joys of single hood happily.
(Names have been changed to protect privacy)
sanat.savanal@timesgroup.com
10 Things women wish men understood
Women and men are as different as chalk and cheese. Men always find it difficult to understand women. Or so they proclaim.
But believe us, we are not that difficult to understand. Just try to keep the communication channel open and see how things fall into their place. Here's a guide of some of the things women wish men automatically understood (and remember it's neither astro-physics nor micro-biology).
1. We know men are low in EQ (Emotional Quotient) but make an effort to understand emotions. But remember we don't like men who can't control their emotions. Cry babies (oops men) are not what we are exactly looking at in life..
2. When we talk, pay attention to what we are saying. Don't just nod your head and continue watching the cricket match on television.
3. Your mother might be great in the kitchen and can whip up gourmet dishes in no time. But sorry we can't go on listening to your running commentary on her remarkable culinary skills.
4. We believe in the power of communication. So, talk, fight but don't just go into 'silent' mode. Leave that mode to your mobile phones.
5 All of us love a dash of chivalry in our partners. So be courteous and show us that you are well brought-up.
6 Don't brag. Showing off really acts against you. Be subtle about your fat pay packet, your swanky car and the like. That shows your class.
7. Don't think that you own us. So, behave accordingly. Like men folk, we also like our own space.
8. Romance comes naturally to us. We love it when a man expresses his love. So, please show us that you love. Say it through flowers, dinners, gifts and of course count surprises as an important element of our DNA. Understand these basic points and act accordingly
9. Don't try to give us lessons on moral science. And for heaven's sake don't comment on a low-neckline dress. That's a very cheap thing to do.
10. Don't crack jokes on our family members, close friends. Show your great sense of humour with a touch of sensibility..
But believe us, we are not that difficult to understand. Just try to keep the communication channel open and see how things fall into their place. Here's a guide of some of the things women wish men automatically understood (and remember it's neither astro-physics nor micro-biology).
1. We know men are low in EQ (Emotional Quotient) but make an effort to understand emotions. But remember we don't like men who can't control their emotions. Cry babies (oops men) are not what we are exactly looking at in life..
2. When we talk, pay attention to what we are saying. Don't just nod your head and continue watching the cricket match on television.
3. Your mother might be great in the kitchen and can whip up gourmet dishes in no time. But sorry we can't go on listening to your running commentary on her remarkable culinary skills.
4. We believe in the power of communication. So, talk, fight but don't just go into 'silent' mode. Leave that mode to your mobile phones.
5 All of us love a dash of chivalry in our partners. So be courteous and show us that you are well brought-up.
6 Don't brag. Showing off really acts against you. Be subtle about your fat pay packet, your swanky car and the like. That shows your class.
7. Don't think that you own us. So, behave accordingly. Like men folk, we also like our own space.
8. Romance comes naturally to us. We love it when a man expresses his love. So, please show us that you love. Say it through flowers, dinners, gifts and of course count surprises as an important element of our DNA. Understand these basic points and act accordingly
9. Don't try to give us lessons on moral science. And for heaven's sake don't comment on a low-neckline dress. That's a very cheap thing to do.
10. Don't crack jokes on our family members, close friends. Show your great sense of humour with a touch of sensibility..
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Kissing secrets to build passion
Kissing is probably one of the best things you can do with your lips. It's not just the most passionate way of getting close to your partner, it's also something that enlightens your mood and adds zing to your love life.
So, what comes to your mind when you first think of kissing? A peck on the cheek or a passionate French kiss? Well, if you want to explore what turns on your mate or simply add creativity to your kissing techniques, here are some lip smacking ideas ...
Reverse lip kiss – Remember the sensuous kiss exchanged between Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst in Spiderman ? You can re-create the sizzling kiss with your partner. Of course you can't hang upside down like the famed super hero, so kiss your partner when he/she is lying down or seated. Come from behind and have them tilt their head backwards. Lower down your head and gently kiss their lower lip and feel your partner breathe on your neck. Abhishek, who works with a software company in Mumbai says, "My girlfriend really took me by surprise when I was working on my laptop. She came from behind, tilted my head backwards and gave me a kiss upside-down while I could feel her hair tickle my neck. I must confess I was quite impressed with her initiative and it really turned me on."
Underwater kiss – Dive to the bottom of the swimming pool, embrace your lover under water and suck in as if you were sucking air from their mouth. Leave them gasping for breath just for a few seconds. By the time you run out of air, reach the top, breathe and get set for the act again. If you are a guy, just pull your babe up above the water, while remaining in the pool and gently caress her thighs while rolling your tongue around her navel to provide the ultimate erotic sensation. Ashish Singh (name changed on request) says, "I would love to lock lips with my girlfriend under water. I love water sports and I think it would just add to the sizzling underwater action. What can be more sensuous?"
Ring kiss – When you and your partner are sitting together on a couch or lazing in bed, gently hold his hand and start kissing. Then smoothly, suck a ring out of his finger with the help of your teeth. Roll your tongue and slide the ring slightly to hold it around your tongue. Then share a passionate kiss by rolling the tip of your tongue to trace his lips. Let him suck the ring from your tongue and you can try stealing it again, it will heat up the scene.
Foot kiss - This one's not just amorous, but also an erotic gesture. Gently move your fingers on his/her bare foot. It may tickle your partner initially, but relax and enjoy the sensations! Then, gently kiss her foot and suck her toes. You can make the act even more intense by rolling an ice cube on her foot as you gradually move the cube up her legs and then to her inner thighs. "My partner turns me on by massaging my foot. He rubs his thumbs in circular motions from the heel to the toe and then sucks my toes one by one. Some people think it's kinky, but you have to try it to believe it. It works for me and it's even more fun if you do it in the 69 position and face each other's feet," says newly married Meenakshi (name changed on request) .
Nip kiss - When you kiss your partner next time, gently nibble on his/her lips. Be careful not to bite too hard and hurt them though. While smooching on one's lips is enjoyable, use your imagination and try exploring other body parts as well. Nibbling on the neck, for instance, is a great turn on. If you do it well, this kiss ignites flames of passion that will arouse you to explore your beau's body further. Arvind (name changed on request) , who got married a year ago, says, "If I really want to drive my wife wild, nibbling is the best way to do so. It makes her squirm with desire. It is the best foreplay act and gets you in the mood for more action. Biting her gently at the right time and the right place just makes her scream for more."
So, what comes to your mind when you first think of kissing? A peck on the cheek or a passionate French kiss? Well, if you want to explore what turns on your mate or simply add creativity to your kissing techniques, here are some lip smacking ideas ...
Reverse lip kiss – Remember the sensuous kiss exchanged between Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst in Spiderman ? You can re-create the sizzling kiss with your partner. Of course you can't hang upside down like the famed super hero, so kiss your partner when he/she is lying down or seated. Come from behind and have them tilt their head backwards. Lower down your head and gently kiss their lower lip and feel your partner breathe on your neck. Abhishek, who works with a software company in Mumbai says, "My girlfriend really took me by surprise when I was working on my laptop. She came from behind, tilted my head backwards and gave me a kiss upside-down while I could feel her hair tickle my neck. I must confess I was quite impressed with her initiative and it really turned me on."
Underwater kiss – Dive to the bottom of the swimming pool, embrace your lover under water and suck in as if you were sucking air from their mouth. Leave them gasping for breath just for a few seconds. By the time you run out of air, reach the top, breathe and get set for the act again. If you are a guy, just pull your babe up above the water, while remaining in the pool and gently caress her thighs while rolling your tongue around her navel to provide the ultimate erotic sensation. Ashish Singh (name changed on request) says, "I would love to lock lips with my girlfriend under water. I love water sports and I think it would just add to the sizzling underwater action. What can be more sensuous?"
Ring kiss – When you and your partner are sitting together on a couch or lazing in bed, gently hold his hand and start kissing. Then smoothly, suck a ring out of his finger with the help of your teeth. Roll your tongue and slide the ring slightly to hold it around your tongue. Then share a passionate kiss by rolling the tip of your tongue to trace his lips. Let him suck the ring from your tongue and you can try stealing it again, it will heat up the scene.
Foot kiss - This one's not just amorous, but also an erotic gesture. Gently move your fingers on his/her bare foot. It may tickle your partner initially, but relax and enjoy the sensations! Then, gently kiss her foot and suck her toes. You can make the act even more intense by rolling an ice cube on her foot as you gradually move the cube up her legs and then to her inner thighs. "My partner turns me on by massaging my foot. He rubs his thumbs in circular motions from the heel to the toe and then sucks my toes one by one. Some people think it's kinky, but you have to try it to believe it. It works for me and it's even more fun if you do it in the 69 position and face each other's feet," says newly married Meenakshi (name changed on request) .
Nip kiss - When you kiss your partner next time, gently nibble on his/her lips. Be careful not to bite too hard and hurt them though. While smooching on one's lips is enjoyable, use your imagination and try exploring other body parts as well. Nibbling on the neck, for instance, is a great turn on. If you do it well, this kiss ignites flames of passion that will arouse you to explore your beau's body further. Arvind (name changed on request) , who got married a year ago, says, "If I really want to drive my wife wild, nibbling is the best way to do so. It makes her squirm with desire. It is the best foreplay act and gets you in the mood for more action. Biting her gently at the right time and the right place just makes her scream for more."
Ten kissing commandments
"Our date was extremely romantic, until I offered to seal the night with a kiss, which unexpectedly turned out to be quite awkward. While, I was gravely ashamed, she never came back," shares 23-year-old, Rishi Gulati (name changed on request), a sad victim of a kissing-faux-pas.
Well, the misfortune of a bad kiss can fall upon any of us. Consider yourself lucky if your kiss left your partner craving for more. And keep your fingers tightly crossed for no one plans a kissing blunder, it simply happens! And mind it, you are hardly left with anything to mend the embarrassment caused by a 'dud kiss.' If a perfect kiss can register success in your relationship, a kissing bummer is good enough to bring your love journey to a dead end even before it starts.
Follow our '10 commandments of perfect kissing' and you'll never be tagged as a 'poor kisser'...
1. Thou shall not be a stinking fish
Nothing can kill a kiss like foul breadth. So, the first commandment keeps you off kissing, if your mouth is stinking due to hygiene issues, food, tobacco or excessive smoking. If you don't want your partner to remember the kiss for all the wrong reasons, try to look out for solutions. Dr. Kamal Bisht, a general physician suggests, "Begin by brushing your teeth before you go out on a date, irrespective of the time. Cleaning your tongue is also important as it removes bacteria. Avoid kissing if you have just had smelly food products like garlic, onions etc. Keep a breath spray handy and use it periodically throughout the day." Last but not the least, if you are a smoker, the pleasure of smooching your partner can be your motivation to kick the butt!
2. Thou shall open your mouth with care
"My girlfriend has this habit of opening her mouth very little while kissing, which does not allow me to enjoy a passionate kiss to the fullest," avers Rajdeep Bhawmik, a Delhi-based architect.
While, there's no accurate rule for opening the mouth, it's generally seen that a deep kiss using tongue is a huge turn on. Equally terrifying are gulpers who open their mouth wide open while kissing, ready to swallow their partner. The trick is to keep one's lips lose enough to let the lips of both the partners glide smoothly over each other making it a yummy kiss. Also, "start with a lip-to-lip kiss and gradually taste the depths of pleasure," suggests sex expert, Dr. Rajan.
3. Thou shall not be a dead dud
"For both men and women, responsiveness is the chief factor that makes for a better kisser," says author William Cane in his book, The Art of Kissing Book of Question and Answers . So, rather than pouncing upon your partner's mouth, try and figure out the styles and movements that your partner enjoys. Try to figure out his/her likes and dislikes and adapt your technique accordingly.
Going with the other partner's rhythm is crucial. Don't expect your beau to do all the work while you enjoy his kissing moves. "My girlfriend is a hesitant kisser. She doesn't even move her head; forget about getting playful with her tongue and lips. It's just like I'm trying to find pleasure with a stiff stick," reveals Chandan Gupta, a 20-year-old college student.
4. Thou shall be a learner
No body is a born kisser. So, if you are an amateur kisser, who is apprehensive about locking lips, just follow your partner and the rest will fall into place, the way it happened with Jayati and Mayank. "During the initial days of our courtship, my girlfriend Jayanti was quite clueless about kissing, which was a big turn-off for me. But soon she realised her awkwardness and made a smart move. She simply started copying my style and now she can beat me in a passionate kiss," tells Mayank Taneja, a Mumbai-based PR professional.
Remember kissing is all about adapting and learning.
5. Thou shall use your hands appropriately
Agreed, that using hands results in elevating levels of passion. But do not pull his hair or grab her waist as if she'll run if you leave. Kissing is about imparting pleasure rather than inflicting pain. "Keep your hand movements limited to sensual and soft strokes on your lover's arms, back, neck, waist and hair or simply cup the face," suggests Cane. Don't get too aggressive in the name of showing wild passion. "My first boyfriend almost gave me bruises every time we kissed. Pinching and grabbing me gave him a sense of high, but I failed to match up with his wild passion and we broke up after a few dates and kisses," relates Madhurima Goel, a 19-year-old college student.
6. Thou shall not let your tongue go loose
You don't have to gag your partner by shoving off your tongue deep down into his/her mouth. Take it easy. The kissing rule for tongue says –less is more! Let the tip of your tongue perform the magic with subtle and gentle strokes. You can use your tongue for exploring, but that doesn't allow you to reach between your partner's teeth –as it can be a big turnoff. "Remember, slower the tongue movements, hotter is the passion," says Dr. Shivi Jaggi.
7. Thou shall not give me a saliva bath
Wet kisses undoubtedly work when it comes to getting into some raunchy action, but that doesn't give you the liberty to go lap,lap,lap all over your partner's face. "My girl is a passionate kisser. But, the only problem with her is that her kisses are really wet. She licks my chin, cheeks, forehead etc, which becomes quite messy for me," complains Jatin Sharma, a 24-year-old, management student. So, slobbery is not welcomed while kissing.
8. Thou shall not have sex on your mind
It is not necessary for a kiss to end in some hot action between the sheets. Your kiss shouldn't give away the hint that you are getting desperate to hit the bed. "Kissing brings people close physically and emotionally. And this closeness satisfies a deep emotional need for connecting with your partner," explains Cane.
So, while you are kissing, be sensitive to your partner's need. He/she may or may not be ready for sex immediately. Don't use a kiss as a means to reach a sexual climax. Let your kiss be romantic rather than plain sexual.
"I can still remember my first kiss, though for unpleasant things. The way the guy was busy groping me, gave clear clues that he wanted to have sex with me on our first date itself and I wasn't ready. And soon after that date, within no time I made up my mind to never meet him again."
Another way to keep your first kiss plain romantic, rather than hard core sexual can be to keep your hand-work limited to the non-erotic zones like the neck, arms, back waist etc., rather than reaching out to the erotic zones. Though, imagination and experimentation can be your yardstick if both of you are ready and enjoying.
9. Though shall not stare while kissing
You might be curious; you might feel like watching your partner taking pleasure in the act, but continuously staring at him/her while kissing is a big no no! Whenever a person is enjoying something to the hilt, their eyes automatically shut. Closing the eyes is an autonomous stimulus to pleasure. So, kissing is no exception to this rule and people tend to close their eyes. "Also, the sight of your partner almost eating you might not look very beautiful if you watch it continuously, though there's nothing wrong in getting a peep every now and then," suggests Dr. Rajan.
10. Thou shall be confident of your kiss
Be it a plain pucker or a passionate lip lock, not just the initiator, but even the recipient ought to be confident. Remember, to go with the flow and you'll do fine. When passion reaches its zenith, no guide-book or tips remain in one's mind. So, just be yourself and let the warmth of your lips take over. "Be it approaching your lover for a kiss or accepting his proposal, both should be utmost confident. Jitters may spoil the mood, irrespective of who is getting them," explains Dr. Jaggi.
Well, the misfortune of a bad kiss can fall upon any of us. Consider yourself lucky if your kiss left your partner craving for more. And keep your fingers tightly crossed for no one plans a kissing blunder, it simply happens! And mind it, you are hardly left with anything to mend the embarrassment caused by a 'dud kiss.' If a perfect kiss can register success in your relationship, a kissing bummer is good enough to bring your love journey to a dead end even before it starts.
Follow our '10 commandments of perfect kissing' and you'll never be tagged as a 'poor kisser'...
1. Thou shall not be a stinking fish
Nothing can kill a kiss like foul breadth. So, the first commandment keeps you off kissing, if your mouth is stinking due to hygiene issues, food, tobacco or excessive smoking. If you don't want your partner to remember the kiss for all the wrong reasons, try to look out for solutions. Dr. Kamal Bisht, a general physician suggests, "Begin by brushing your teeth before you go out on a date, irrespective of the time. Cleaning your tongue is also important as it removes bacteria. Avoid kissing if you have just had smelly food products like garlic, onions etc. Keep a breath spray handy and use it periodically throughout the day." Last but not the least, if you are a smoker, the pleasure of smooching your partner can be your motivation to kick the butt!
2. Thou shall open your mouth with care
"My girlfriend has this habit of opening her mouth very little while kissing, which does not allow me to enjoy a passionate kiss to the fullest," avers Rajdeep Bhawmik, a Delhi-based architect.
While, there's no accurate rule for opening the mouth, it's generally seen that a deep kiss using tongue is a huge turn on. Equally terrifying are gulpers who open their mouth wide open while kissing, ready to swallow their partner. The trick is to keep one's lips lose enough to let the lips of both the partners glide smoothly over each other making it a yummy kiss. Also, "start with a lip-to-lip kiss and gradually taste the depths of pleasure," suggests sex expert, Dr. Rajan.
3. Thou shall not be a dead dud
"For both men and women, responsiveness is the chief factor that makes for a better kisser," says author William Cane in his book, The Art of Kissing Book of Question and Answers . So, rather than pouncing upon your partner's mouth, try and figure out the styles and movements that your partner enjoys. Try to figure out his/her likes and dislikes and adapt your technique accordingly.
Going with the other partner's rhythm is crucial. Don't expect your beau to do all the work while you enjoy his kissing moves. "My girlfriend is a hesitant kisser. She doesn't even move her head; forget about getting playful with her tongue and lips. It's just like I'm trying to find pleasure with a stiff stick," reveals Chandan Gupta, a 20-year-old college student.
4. Thou shall be a learner
No body is a born kisser. So, if you are an amateur kisser, who is apprehensive about locking lips, just follow your partner and the rest will fall into place, the way it happened with Jayati and Mayank. "During the initial days of our courtship, my girlfriend Jayanti was quite clueless about kissing, which was a big turn-off for me. But soon she realised her awkwardness and made a smart move. She simply started copying my style and now she can beat me in a passionate kiss," tells Mayank Taneja, a Mumbai-based PR professional.
Remember kissing is all about adapting and learning.
5. Thou shall use your hands appropriately
Agreed, that using hands results in elevating levels of passion. But do not pull his hair or grab her waist as if she'll run if you leave. Kissing is about imparting pleasure rather than inflicting pain. "Keep your hand movements limited to sensual and soft strokes on your lover's arms, back, neck, waist and hair or simply cup the face," suggests Cane. Don't get too aggressive in the name of showing wild passion. "My first boyfriend almost gave me bruises every time we kissed. Pinching and grabbing me gave him a sense of high, but I failed to match up with his wild passion and we broke up after a few dates and kisses," relates Madhurima Goel, a 19-year-old college student.
6. Thou shall not let your tongue go loose
You don't have to gag your partner by shoving off your tongue deep down into his/her mouth. Take it easy. The kissing rule for tongue says –less is more! Let the tip of your tongue perform the magic with subtle and gentle strokes. You can use your tongue for exploring, but that doesn't allow you to reach between your partner's teeth –as it can be a big turnoff. "Remember, slower the tongue movements, hotter is the passion," says Dr. Shivi Jaggi.
7. Thou shall not give me a saliva bath
Wet kisses undoubtedly work when it comes to getting into some raunchy action, but that doesn't give you the liberty to go lap,lap,lap all over your partner's face. "My girl is a passionate kisser. But, the only problem with her is that her kisses are really wet. She licks my chin, cheeks, forehead etc, which becomes quite messy for me," complains Jatin Sharma, a 24-year-old, management student. So, slobbery is not welcomed while kissing.
8. Thou shall not have sex on your mind
It is not necessary for a kiss to end in some hot action between the sheets. Your kiss shouldn't give away the hint that you are getting desperate to hit the bed. "Kissing brings people close physically and emotionally. And this closeness satisfies a deep emotional need for connecting with your partner," explains Cane.
So, while you are kissing, be sensitive to your partner's need. He/she may or may not be ready for sex immediately. Don't use a kiss as a means to reach a sexual climax. Let your kiss be romantic rather than plain sexual.
"I can still remember my first kiss, though for unpleasant things. The way the guy was busy groping me, gave clear clues that he wanted to have sex with me on our first date itself and I wasn't ready. And soon after that date, within no time I made up my mind to never meet him again."
Another way to keep your first kiss plain romantic, rather than hard core sexual can be to keep your hand-work limited to the non-erotic zones like the neck, arms, back waist etc., rather than reaching out to the erotic zones. Though, imagination and experimentation can be your yardstick if both of you are ready and enjoying.
9. Though shall not stare while kissing
You might be curious; you might feel like watching your partner taking pleasure in the act, but continuously staring at him/her while kissing is a big no no! Whenever a person is enjoying something to the hilt, their eyes automatically shut. Closing the eyes is an autonomous stimulus to pleasure. So, kissing is no exception to this rule and people tend to close their eyes. "Also, the sight of your partner almost eating you might not look very beautiful if you watch it continuously, though there's nothing wrong in getting a peep every now and then," suggests Dr. Rajan.
10. Thou shall be confident of your kiss
Be it a plain pucker or a passionate lip lock, not just the initiator, but even the recipient ought to be confident. Remember, to go with the flow and you'll do fine. When passion reaches its zenith, no guide-book or tips remain in one's mind. So, just be yourself and let the warmth of your lips take over. "Be it approaching your lover for a kiss or accepting his proposal, both should be utmost confident. Jitters may spoil the mood, irrespective of who is getting them," explains Dr. Jaggi.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
'Sex'ting for a night of passion
It's often said that actions speak louder than words, but we think words can set your mood right for loud actions. At least when it comes to sex!
Couples believe in sharing their sexual fantasies, indulging in dirty talks and experimenting with their sex moves in bed, presuming it adds to their pleasure. But little do they realise that even exchanging naughty, romantic messages throughout the day can build their mood for steamy sex later on.
'Sex inclined' text messages have everything to push them towards a steamy bedroom romp provided the words used and the mood implied hit the partner's sexual senses correctly.
Dr. Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert elucidates, "Apart from sending and receiving erotic text messages to arouse one another, it's essential for couples to keep up the tempo till the time they get back home from work. If you keep exchanging romantic texts during the day, but fail to keep the flames burning in bed later on, all your efforts may just go to waste."
Here are some effective sex messages that partners can exchange to arouse each other for a night of passion...
Your curvy body drives me crazy: A woman loves to hear pleasant compliments about her body. Appreciating her curves and toned body will make her feel happy and in turn push her to love you more passionately. "Giving positive and flattering comments about your partner's body is always taken as a good signal that makes them feel wanted and more attracted towards you. The words should express that you enjoy lovemaking moments with them. Make sure you don't criticise their looks much, as it may act as a turn-off," says Dr. Shivani Gupte, a clinical psychologist.
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your curvy body drives me crazy. Your slender neck descending down to your curvaceous waist and leading upto to your toned thighs, I simply love each inch of yours. Wanna hold you baby!
You have perfected the art of undressing : One sure shot way to tempt your partner for a steamy romp is to build a comfort zone. Since most women feel shy undressing in front of their male partners, their apprehensions by messaging surely helps. "Make your partner knows that you love seeing them getting undressed as it will help boosting their confidence and add to your sexual bliss. They will feel more comfortable next time you get intimate and thus the much hyped act of undressing can be enjoyed in a better way," feels Dr. Chirta Bakshi, a relationship counselor.
SAY IT IN WORDS : The way you strip slowly always leaves me craving for more. I can't express how irresistible you look in that bare minimum look.
Your tender touch is highly arousing : Sex is all about feeling your partner's body and experiencing their touch. Letting your beloved know about how good it feels when their hands caress your body helps in building a romantic mood. "Such expressions of love evoke your partner's sexual senses. These words bring a reassurance to your partner that their gestures and acts are being enjoyed, which would drive them to perform better in bed," states Dr. Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert.
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your tender touch is arousing. The moment your soft hands move on my bare body from my back to my chest and sliding down to my stomach, it's stimulates me to love you more.
Your passionate kisses blow me away : A kiss is the best medium to express your love. And telling your partner about how their passionate kisses drive your wild in bed ignites their passion. Dr. Shivani suggests, "Saying it straightforwardly that you want to kiss your partner might sound boring and unromantic. But expressing to someone that you enjoy their kissing gestures will make it obvious that you're expecting much more from them."
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your passionate kisses blow me away. Be it on my cheeks, neck, shoulders, chest or belly, the soft touch of your lips create a sensation that leaves me craving for more.
You're getting hotter each day : Now this one ought to be for both male and female partners as they can use it as the ultimate weapon to arouse each other. Flatter your lover by praising their bedroom performance, lovemaking gestures and sexual acts and this guarantees you a lovable night ahead. Dr. Chitra adds, "Sharing feedback about each other's sexual performance is good, but ensure that it's said in the right sense. Sending messages with flattering words automatically create a feeling of intimacy, so don't shy away from telling them about how good they were in bed."
SAY IT IN WORDS : You're getting hotter each day. Your sexual performance and the newer ways with which you try to arouse me show how much you love me.
Your body scent tempts me so much : Partners do enjoy each other's body whiffs. Sending this message is like a clear hint to your partner that you're asking for a torrid lovemaking session. If they catch the right signal, it might help you enjoy the pleasure like never before. Dr. Amita shares, "Someone's body smell can be felt only when you are close to them, so such a message is the ultimate way to let your partner know what's running through your mind. It will arouse them sexually and would charge up their mood to get intimate with you."
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your body scent tempts me so much. It spreads a romantic aroma all around and sets the mood right for extreme intimacy. It pushes me to remain closer to you.
Couples believe in sharing their sexual fantasies, indulging in dirty talks and experimenting with their sex moves in bed, presuming it adds to their pleasure. But little do they realise that even exchanging naughty, romantic messages throughout the day can build their mood for steamy sex later on.
'Sex inclined' text messages have everything to push them towards a steamy bedroom romp provided the words used and the mood implied hit the partner's sexual senses correctly.
Dr. Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert elucidates, "Apart from sending and receiving erotic text messages to arouse one another, it's essential for couples to keep up the tempo till the time they get back home from work. If you keep exchanging romantic texts during the day, but fail to keep the flames burning in bed later on, all your efforts may just go to waste."
Here are some effective sex messages that partners can exchange to arouse each other for a night of passion...
Your curvy body drives me crazy: A woman loves to hear pleasant compliments about her body. Appreciating her curves and toned body will make her feel happy and in turn push her to love you more passionately. "Giving positive and flattering comments about your partner's body is always taken as a good signal that makes them feel wanted and more attracted towards you. The words should express that you enjoy lovemaking moments with them. Make sure you don't criticise their looks much, as it may act as a turn-off," says Dr. Shivani Gupte, a clinical psychologist.
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your curvy body drives me crazy. Your slender neck descending down to your curvaceous waist and leading upto to your toned thighs, I simply love each inch of yours. Wanna hold you baby!
You have perfected the art of undressing : One sure shot way to tempt your partner for a steamy romp is to build a comfort zone. Since most women feel shy undressing in front of their male partners, their apprehensions by messaging surely helps. "Make your partner knows that you love seeing them getting undressed as it will help boosting their confidence and add to your sexual bliss. They will feel more comfortable next time you get intimate and thus the much hyped act of undressing can be enjoyed in a better way," feels Dr. Chirta Bakshi, a relationship counselor.
SAY IT IN WORDS : The way you strip slowly always leaves me craving for more. I can't express how irresistible you look in that bare minimum look.
Your tender touch is highly arousing : Sex is all about feeling your partner's body and experiencing their touch. Letting your beloved know about how good it feels when their hands caress your body helps in building a romantic mood. "Such expressions of love evoke your partner's sexual senses. These words bring a reassurance to your partner that their gestures and acts are being enjoyed, which would drive them to perform better in bed," states Dr. Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert.
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your tender touch is arousing. The moment your soft hands move on my bare body from my back to my chest and sliding down to my stomach, it's stimulates me to love you more.
Your passionate kisses blow me away : A kiss is the best medium to express your love. And telling your partner about how their passionate kisses drive your wild in bed ignites their passion. Dr. Shivani suggests, "Saying it straightforwardly that you want to kiss your partner might sound boring and unromantic. But expressing to someone that you enjoy their kissing gestures will make it obvious that you're expecting much more from them."
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your passionate kisses blow me away. Be it on my cheeks, neck, shoulders, chest or belly, the soft touch of your lips create a sensation that leaves me craving for more.
You're getting hotter each day : Now this one ought to be for both male and female partners as they can use it as the ultimate weapon to arouse each other. Flatter your lover by praising their bedroom performance, lovemaking gestures and sexual acts and this guarantees you a lovable night ahead. Dr. Chitra adds, "Sharing feedback about each other's sexual performance is good, but ensure that it's said in the right sense. Sending messages with flattering words automatically create a feeling of intimacy, so don't shy away from telling them about how good they were in bed."
SAY IT IN WORDS : You're getting hotter each day. Your sexual performance and the newer ways with which you try to arouse me show how much you love me.
Your body scent tempts me so much : Partners do enjoy each other's body whiffs. Sending this message is like a clear hint to your partner that you're asking for a torrid lovemaking session. If they catch the right signal, it might help you enjoy the pleasure like never before. Dr. Amita shares, "Someone's body smell can be felt only when you are close to them, so such a message is the ultimate way to let your partner know what's running through your mind. It will arouse them sexually and would charge up their mood to get intimate with you."
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your body scent tempts me so much. It spreads a romantic aroma all around and sets the mood right for extreme intimacy. It pushes me to remain closer to you.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Gautham Menon
Gautham Vasudev Menon is an Indian film director and producer. Mainly working in Tamil cinema, he has also directed Hindi and Telugu films which are remakes of his Tamil films. Many of his Tamil films have been critically acclaimed, most notably his action-thrillers Kaakha Kaakha and Vettaiyaadu Vilaiyaadu. His semi-autobiographical film Vaaranam Aayiram which won the National Film Award for Best Feature Film in Tamil also won him a Filmfare Award nomination for the Best Director.
Gautham Menon was an ad film maker, shooting various commercials after an apprenticeship under filmmaker Rajiv Menon. He worked as an assistant director for Minsaara Kanavu, in which he also appeared in a cameo role. He soon started his own ad agency "Photon Kathaas" which is now a film production company.pool
He made his directorial debut in 2001 with the Tamil romantic film Minnale with R. Madhavan, Abbas and Reema Sen playing the lead roles. Menon received the chance to remake the film in Bollywood, retaining Madhavan as in the lead role, while having Diya Mirza playing the female lead role. The remake was titled Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein.
Menon returned to Tamil cinema in 2003 with the action thriller Kaakha Kaakha, starring Surya Sivakumar, Jyothika Saravanan and Jeevan. Menon got offers from various quarters to remake the film which he did in Telugu with Daggubati Venkatesh in the lead. After that, Menon made the investigative thriller film Vettaiyadu Villaiyadu starring Kamal Hassan. During the shooting, the unit faced a lot of problems due to the producer's suicide attempt.[1] However, after release, the movie emerged as one of the top box office grossers of 2006. Menon played a cameo dancing at the back in the song, Manjal Veiyil. Menon's next project, Pachaikili Muthucharam, based on the movie/novel Derailed, with Sarath Kumar and Jyothika Saravanan, was released in 2007.
His next release, the critically acclaimed, Vaaranam Aayiram with Surya Sivakumar, Simran Bagga, Sameera Reddy and Divya Spandana got released in late 2008. It received 5 Filmfare Awards and the National Film Award for Best Feature Film in Tamil for 2008. In 2010, the Tamil romantic film Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa, starring Silambarasan Rajendar and Trisha Krishnan emerged a successful venture. It was filmed simultaneously with the Telugu version, titled Ye Maaya Chesave having Naga Chaitanya and debutante Samantha Ruth Prabhu as the leading actors. In the same year, Menon also conceived and directed the video for the song, Semmozhiyaana Thamizh Mozhiyaam, the theme song for the World Classical Tamil Conference 2010. Menon's latest release is the psychological thriller Nadunisi Naaygal, starring Sameera Reddy, which opened up to mixed reviews. The film was noted for not featuring any kind of film score.
Menon, notably, has appeared in cameo appearances in most of his own films. In all but two films Menon made "signature appearances", usually playing insignificant characters or just briefly appearing in the background. His first cameo appearance, however, was in Rajiv Menon's Minsaara Kanavu, during his apprenticeship under the film's director.
FilmographyAs Director
Year Title Language Cameo Notes
2001 Minnale
Tamil Flower deliverer
2001 Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein
Hindi IT lecturer Remake of Minnale
2003 Kaakha Kaakha
Tamil Senior police officer
2004 Gharshana
Telugu
Remake of Kaakha Kaakha
2006 Vettaiyadu Villaiyadu
Tamil Dancer in the song "Manjal Veiyil"
2007 Pachaikili Muthucharam
Tamil Passenger in the song "Kadhal Konjam"
2008 Vaaranam Aayiram
Tamil The masked man Winner, National Film Award for Best Feature Film in Tamil
Winner, Vijay Award for Favourite Director
Nominated, Filmfare Best Tamil Director Award
2010 Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa
Tamil As himself on the shooting spot
Ye Maaya Chesave
Telugu
2011 Nadunisi Naaygal
Tamil
Gautham Vasudev Menon is an Indian film director and producer in Tamil Nadu, India. Many of his films have been critically acclaimed, most notably his action-thrillers Kaaka Kaaka, Vettaiyaadu Vilaiyaadu and Vaaranam Aayiram.
Education
Gautham Menon was born to Keralite father and Tamil mother. He did Mechanical Engineering in Mookambikai College of Engineering in Trichy, Tamil Nadu.
Film career
He was an ad film maker, shooting various commercials after a good apprenticeship under noted filmmaker Rajiv Menon. He worked as an assistant director for Minsaara Kanavu.He also played a cameo role in the film. He started his own ad agency "Photon Factory" before moving to cinema which is now recognized as a film production company.
His first film was Minnale in Tamil with R. Madhavan, Abbas and Reema Sen playing the lead roles. The film was a huge hit because of its young and peppy story, brilliant comic timing from the acclaimed comedian Vivek and also because of some new lilting music from debutante music director, Harris Jeyaraj.
Gautham immediately received the chance to remake the film in Bollywood. He did so, retaining Madhavan as in the lead role, this time having Diya Mirza playing the female lead role. Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein however did not have much success in the Hindi film industry.
Gautham returned to Tamil cinema in 2003 with Kaaka Kaaka, starring Surya Sivakumar, Jyothika Saravanan and Jeevan. Gautham, himself, appeared in a cameo role as a senior police officer. With R. D. Rajashekar on the camera, Anthony in editing and again with Harris Jeyaraj handling the music, the film was a box-office record breaker.
Gautham again got offers from various quarters to remake the film. This time he remade the film in Telugu with Venkatesh in the lead. But the facts reveal that some of the scenes were as is replicated from the English movie Se7en.
After that, Gautham had the opportunity to make another action/adventure thriller film with Kamal Hassan in a pivotal role. Thus, he started Vettaiyadu Villaiyadu. The unit faced a lot of problems due to the producer's suicide attempt[1]. However they overcame all that and the film was released in August 2006. The director plays a cameo dancing at the back in the song, Manjal Veiyil. The film came to be the biggest grosser of 2006.
Gautham's Pachaikili Muthucharam with Sarath Kumar and Jyothika Saravanan in 2007 was a critical acclaim but bombed at the box office. His next release, Vaaranam Aayiram with Surya Sivakumar, Simran Bagga, Sameera Reddy and Divya got released on November 14, 2008.It is claimed as biggest hit of 2008. It has received the National Film Award for Best Feature Film in Tamil for 2008.
His next directorial ventures will be Chennaiyil Oru Mazhaikalam with Trisha, Satish along with newcomers, and Vinnai Thaandi Varuvaaya again with Trisha along with Silambarasan.
Gautham's response to Harris Split "The decision not to work together was not mine.Hope everyone got that".
Following the commence Ajith Kumar’s Aegan in late December 2007, reports indicated that Ajith Kumar will act in a film produced by Sivaji Productions directed by Gautham Menon. later it was Dropped.
And now producer Dhayanidhi Alagiri of Cloud nine Productions who before produced Vaaranam Aayiram, for Gautham informed that Ajith's 50th film will be direct by Gautham menon.
www.facebook.com/.../Gautham-Menon/104077716295575
Dear Gowtham Menon, your VTV is one the best love stories ever told. It is in
fact that the first love always faces many obstacles and in most relationships
it ends in separation. That is reality. Sir,I have seen this movie many times
and still wanting more. I liked every frame of it and the music and songs are
simply superb. CONGRATULATIONS!Sir.
Gautham Menon at a Chennai do
November 17, 2010 | By TNN
Love songs, it seems, have endless appeal and charm. That perhaps explains why hundreds gathered inside a store at a crowded shopping mall recently. It was the occasion of the release of A R Rahman collector's edition pack of his tracks from Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa. And the music-mad crowd that had gathered went crazy on seeing their favourite singers ? Karthik , Naresh Iyer , Chinmayi and Blaaze ? in person. What's more, when the creator of the film ? Gautham Menon ?
Amy Jackson in VTV's Hindi version
April 19, 2011 | By V Lakshmi and TNN
She's just one film old, but actress Amy Jackson surely has the charm and appeal of a seasoned actress. She was in Chennai recently to attend the audio launch function of Deiva Thiirumagan, directed by Vijay, who gave Amy her big break in Madrassapattinam. TOI caught up with the actress... Did you come to Chennai just to attend the audio launch of Deiva Thiirumagan....? Yes. I was abroad and when Vijay told me about the audio launch function, I just had to...
NEWS-INTERVIEWS
Jackky Bhagnani in RHTDM remake?
April 19, 2011 | By Subhash K Jha
Since the relative box-office success of FALTU, Vashu Bhagnani has been very eager to keep the ball rolling for his son. He has now decided to produce the remake of his musical romance Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein (2001) with Jackky Bhagnani in it. For the remake of the film directed by Gautham Menon, which marked Madhavan's debut in Bollywood, the producer is very keen to have the original director back on-board. As for casting his son in the lead,...
Kanden'a music launch
December 11, 2010 | By MANIGANDAN K R I and TNN
The audio launch of Kanden, the audio rights of which have been procured by director Gautham Menon's label, was a pleasant affair and one that had everything to do with music and not with boring speeches. The evening started off with invocation by Carnatic vocalist Aruna Sairam and was soon followed by a series of pleasant melodies from the eighties and nineties. The songs were rendered by several singers including Krish, Priya Himesh, Suchi and Haricharan. After a few hits, the label was launched by Harris and Yuvan Shankar Raja . Then, the songs of Kanden were performed live on stage with the music director of the film, Vijay Ebenezer, accompanying the singers on the piano.
Gautham Menon was an ad film maker, shooting various commercials after an apprenticeship under filmmaker Rajiv Menon. He worked as an assistant director for Minsaara Kanavu, in which he also appeared in a cameo role. He soon started his own ad agency "Photon Kathaas" which is now a film production company.pool
He made his directorial debut in 2001 with the Tamil romantic film Minnale with R. Madhavan, Abbas and Reema Sen playing the lead roles. Menon received the chance to remake the film in Bollywood, retaining Madhavan as in the lead role, while having Diya Mirza playing the female lead role. The remake was titled Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein.
Menon returned to Tamil cinema in 2003 with the action thriller Kaakha Kaakha, starring Surya Sivakumar, Jyothika Saravanan and Jeevan. Menon got offers from various quarters to remake the film which he did in Telugu with Daggubati Venkatesh in the lead. After that, Menon made the investigative thriller film Vettaiyadu Villaiyadu starring Kamal Hassan. During the shooting, the unit faced a lot of problems due to the producer's suicide attempt.[1] However, after release, the movie emerged as one of the top box office grossers of 2006. Menon played a cameo dancing at the back in the song, Manjal Veiyil. Menon's next project, Pachaikili Muthucharam, based on the movie/novel Derailed, with Sarath Kumar and Jyothika Saravanan, was released in 2007.
His next release, the critically acclaimed, Vaaranam Aayiram with Surya Sivakumar, Simran Bagga, Sameera Reddy and Divya Spandana got released in late 2008. It received 5 Filmfare Awards and the National Film Award for Best Feature Film in Tamil for 2008. In 2010, the Tamil romantic film Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa, starring Silambarasan Rajendar and Trisha Krishnan emerged a successful venture. It was filmed simultaneously with the Telugu version, titled Ye Maaya Chesave having Naga Chaitanya and debutante Samantha Ruth Prabhu as the leading actors. In the same year, Menon also conceived and directed the video for the song, Semmozhiyaana Thamizh Mozhiyaam, the theme song for the World Classical Tamil Conference 2010. Menon's latest release is the psychological thriller Nadunisi Naaygal, starring Sameera Reddy, which opened up to mixed reviews. The film was noted for not featuring any kind of film score.
Menon, notably, has appeared in cameo appearances in most of his own films. In all but two films Menon made "signature appearances", usually playing insignificant characters or just briefly appearing in the background. His first cameo appearance, however, was in Rajiv Menon's Minsaara Kanavu, during his apprenticeship under the film's director.
FilmographyAs Director
Year Title Language Cameo Notes
2001 Minnale
Tamil Flower deliverer
2001 Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein
Hindi IT lecturer Remake of Minnale
2003 Kaakha Kaakha
Tamil Senior police officer
2004 Gharshana
Telugu
Remake of Kaakha Kaakha
2006 Vettaiyadu Villaiyadu
Tamil Dancer in the song "Manjal Veiyil"
2007 Pachaikili Muthucharam
Tamil Passenger in the song "Kadhal Konjam"
2008 Vaaranam Aayiram
Tamil The masked man Winner, National Film Award for Best Feature Film in Tamil
Winner, Vijay Award for Favourite Director
Nominated, Filmfare Best Tamil Director Award
2010 Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa
Tamil As himself on the shooting spot
Ye Maaya Chesave
Telugu
2011 Nadunisi Naaygal
Tamil
Gautham Vasudev Menon is an Indian film director and producer in Tamil Nadu, India. Many of his films have been critically acclaimed, most notably his action-thrillers Kaaka Kaaka, Vettaiyaadu Vilaiyaadu and Vaaranam Aayiram.
Education
Gautham Menon was born to Keralite father and Tamil mother. He did Mechanical Engineering in Mookambikai College of Engineering in Trichy, Tamil Nadu.
Film career
He was an ad film maker, shooting various commercials after a good apprenticeship under noted filmmaker Rajiv Menon. He worked as an assistant director for Minsaara Kanavu.He also played a cameo role in the film. He started his own ad agency "Photon Factory" before moving to cinema which is now recognized as a film production company.
His first film was Minnale in Tamil with R. Madhavan, Abbas and Reema Sen playing the lead roles. The film was a huge hit because of its young and peppy story, brilliant comic timing from the acclaimed comedian Vivek and also because of some new lilting music from debutante music director, Harris Jeyaraj.
Gautham immediately received the chance to remake the film in Bollywood. He did so, retaining Madhavan as in the lead role, this time having Diya Mirza playing the female lead role. Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein however did not have much success in the Hindi film industry.
Gautham returned to Tamil cinema in 2003 with Kaaka Kaaka, starring Surya Sivakumar, Jyothika Saravanan and Jeevan. Gautham, himself, appeared in a cameo role as a senior police officer. With R. D. Rajashekar on the camera, Anthony in editing and again with Harris Jeyaraj handling the music, the film was a box-office record breaker.
Gautham again got offers from various quarters to remake the film. This time he remade the film in Telugu with Venkatesh in the lead. But the facts reveal that some of the scenes were as is replicated from the English movie Se7en.
After that, Gautham had the opportunity to make another action/adventure thriller film with Kamal Hassan in a pivotal role. Thus, he started Vettaiyadu Villaiyadu. The unit faced a lot of problems due to the producer's suicide attempt[1]. However they overcame all that and the film was released in August 2006. The director plays a cameo dancing at the back in the song, Manjal Veiyil. The film came to be the biggest grosser of 2006.
Gautham's Pachaikili Muthucharam with Sarath Kumar and Jyothika Saravanan in 2007 was a critical acclaim but bombed at the box office. His next release, Vaaranam Aayiram with Surya Sivakumar, Simran Bagga, Sameera Reddy and Divya got released on November 14, 2008.It is claimed as biggest hit of 2008. It has received the National Film Award for Best Feature Film in Tamil for 2008.
His next directorial ventures will be Chennaiyil Oru Mazhaikalam with Trisha, Satish along with newcomers, and Vinnai Thaandi Varuvaaya again with Trisha along with Silambarasan.
Gautham's response to Harris Split "The decision not to work together was not mine.Hope everyone got that".
Following the commence Ajith Kumar’s Aegan in late December 2007, reports indicated that Ajith Kumar will act in a film produced by Sivaji Productions directed by Gautham Menon. later it was Dropped.
And now producer Dhayanidhi Alagiri of Cloud nine Productions who before produced Vaaranam Aayiram, for Gautham informed that Ajith's 50th film will be direct by Gautham menon.
www.facebook.com/.../Gautham-Menon/104077716295575
Dear Gowtham Menon, your VTV is one the best love stories ever told. It is in
fact that the first love always faces many obstacles and in most relationships
it ends in separation. That is reality. Sir,I have seen this movie many times
and still wanting more. I liked every frame of it and the music and songs are
simply superb. CONGRATULATIONS!Sir.
Gautham Menon at a Chennai do
November 17, 2010 | By TNN
Love songs, it seems, have endless appeal and charm. That perhaps explains why hundreds gathered inside a store at a crowded shopping mall recently. It was the occasion of the release of A R Rahman collector's edition pack of his tracks from Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa. And the music-mad crowd that had gathered went crazy on seeing their favourite singers ? Karthik , Naresh Iyer , Chinmayi and Blaaze ? in person. What's more, when the creator of the film ? Gautham Menon ?
Amy Jackson in VTV's Hindi version
April 19, 2011 | By V Lakshmi and TNN
She's just one film old, but actress Amy Jackson surely has the charm and appeal of a seasoned actress. She was in Chennai recently to attend the audio launch function of Deiva Thiirumagan, directed by Vijay, who gave Amy her big break in Madrassapattinam. TOI caught up with the actress... Did you come to Chennai just to attend the audio launch of Deiva Thiirumagan....? Yes. I was abroad and when Vijay told me about the audio launch function, I just had to...
NEWS-INTERVIEWS
Jackky Bhagnani in RHTDM remake?
April 19, 2011 | By Subhash K Jha
Since the relative box-office success of FALTU, Vashu Bhagnani has been very eager to keep the ball rolling for his son. He has now decided to produce the remake of his musical romance Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein (2001) with Jackky Bhagnani in it. For the remake of the film directed by Gautham Menon, which marked Madhavan's debut in Bollywood, the producer is very keen to have the original director back on-board. As for casting his son in the lead,...
Kanden'a music launch
December 11, 2010 | By MANIGANDAN K R I and TNN
The audio launch of Kanden, the audio rights of which have been procured by director Gautham Menon's label, was a pleasant affair and one that had everything to do with music and not with boring speeches. The evening started off with invocation by Carnatic vocalist Aruna Sairam and was soon followed by a series of pleasant melodies from the eighties and nineties. The songs were rendered by several singers including Krish, Priya Himesh, Suchi and Haricharan. After a few hits, the label was launched by Harris and Yuvan Shankar Raja . Then, the songs of Kanden were performed live on stage with the music director of the film, Vijay Ebenezer, accompanying the singers on the piano.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
25 of the best Erotic Films
25 of the best Erotic Films (note I said erotic, not hardcore....)
A Listmania! list by Kiwi (Mississauga, Ontario Canada)
The list author says: "There's lots of bad movies out there under the "erotic" label. From personal viewing experience, here's some of the ones I think are worth watching."
1. The Lover DVD ~ Jane March
The list author says:
"The young Jane March is stunning with or without clothes. One of the best soft-core films ever made (IMHO) - altho many a reviwer denies the softcore label and says "it's a love story". Watch for yourself and make up your own mind.."
2. Wild Orchid DVD ~ Mickey Rourke
The list author says:
"The sex scenes with Carre Otis are outstanding. Watch this one with your girlfriend - don't waste it watching by yourself!"
3. Lolita DVD ~ Jeremy Irons
The list author says:
"Lolita - need one say more! Dominique Swain is a little charmer."
4. Beau Pere DVD ~ Patrick Dewaere
The list author says:
"14-year-old girl attracted to her 30-year-old stepfather. Who gives in and allows himself to be seduced. Ariel Besse is cute!"
5. The Hot Spot DVD ~ Don Johnson
The list author says:
"Best known to lecherous film buffs for Jennifer Connelly's topless scene! No more needs to be said."
6. 9 1/2 Weeks DVD ~ Mickey Rourke
The list author says:
"You won't regret buying this one. A lot of sex, dominance / submissive stuff, extremely erotic and well filmed. Elizabeth's a bit old though."
7. 36 Fillette DVD ~ Delphine Zentout
The list author says:
"On vacation, 14 year old Lili vows to lose her virginity - and suceeds. More realistic than most but good nonetheless. Most of the sex is under the sheets so to speak."
8. In the Realm of the Senses DVD ~ Tatsuya Fuji
The list author says:
"One of the most sexually explicit films ever to play in mainstream theaters. Well worth watching."
$ 9. Lies DVD ~ Sang Hyun Lee
The list author says:
"A tale of an obsessive affair between a schoolgirl and a middle-aged sculptor. Korean film, quite graphic in some ways and more interesting than erotic - although the initial seduction at the start isn't too bad. Moves on into their shared interested in S&M. If coprophilia's not your thing, don't watch this one!"
10. Eugenie - The Story of Her Journey Into Perversion DVD ~ Uta Dahlberg
The list author says:
"Innocent young Eugenie is initiated into a world of pleasure and pain where she surrenders to her own forbidden fantasies! An exploration of extreme sexuality!"
11. The Story of O DVD ~ Corinne Clery
The list author says:
"The beautiful fashion photographer O is trained for a seemingly satisfying life of love and discipline! A Classic!"
12. Pretty Baby [VHS] VHS Brooke Shields
The list author says:
"Brooke Shields as a twelve year old about-to-be career prostitute. Well made by Louis Malle. No overt sex."
13. The Blue Lagoon (Special Edition) DVD ~ Brooke Shields
The list author says:
"Bad film, but it pays special attention to the burgeoning sexuality of Brooke Shields, pubescent cutie! Turn the sound off and freeze-frame Brooke naked!"
14. Cat People DVD ~ Nastassja Kinski
The list author says:
"Nastassja Kinski and sex! Need I say more! Plenty of poster-art nudity. Some nice wild-life shots too!"
15. Wild Things DVD ~ Matt Dillon
The list author says:
"Neve Campbell, Denise Richards and Matt Dillon, with accusations of rape and a convulted plot."
16. Marquis De Sade: Justine DVD ~ Mike Brendel
The list author says:
"Justine is full of wanton nudity and sexual perversion plus Romina Power, Tyrone Power's 18-year-old daughter. And Klaus Kinski. What more can one say!"
17. A Woman called Sada Abe DVD ~ Junko Miyashita
The list author says:
"The daughter of a rich merchant, is banished for losing her virginity after being raped by a college student. Includes a week-long escapade filled with dangerous obsessions"
18. Stealing Beauty DVD ~ Carlo Cecchi
The list author says:
"Bernardo Bertolucci film. More an Italian travelogue than a drama. Liv Tyler stars as Lucy Harmon who has decided to lose her virginity in Tuscany. If you liked Liv Tyler in Lord of the Rings, you'll love her here."
19. Zalman King's Red Shoe Diaries Collection (The Movie/Girl on a Bike/Soundtrack CD) DVD ~ David Duchovny
The list author says:
"Great collection of erotic masterpieces. A worthwhile addition to any collection of erotic movies."
20. The Dreamers (Original Uncut NC-17 Version) DVD ~ Michael Pitt
The list author says:
"Another Bernardo Bertolucci art film that's got lots of sex and nudity. The female star is hot!"
21. Y Tu Mama Tambien DVD ~ Ana López Mercado
The list author says:
"Sex, death, poverty, and adultery. Not quite erotic but good!"
22. Color of Night DVD ~ Bruce Willis
The list author says:
"An older Jane March with some so-so sex . Worth it for the sight of Jane March making love! Apparantly she had to coach Bruce thru the sex scenes."
23. Delta of Venus DVD ~ Audie England
The list author says:
"Based on Anais Nin's pre-WWII book. The lead character, played by Audie England, is young American writer in Paris who takes up writing erotica. Plenty of passionate sex. Directed by Zalman King, whose excellent at this sort of stuff."
24. Embrace of the Vampire DVD ~ Martin Kemp
The list author says:
"If you're looking for a softcore porn movie starring Alyssa Milano's bare breasts, you've found the right movie.
Alyssa Milano gets naked. You see her nipples with amazing frequency. She lets guys touch her in dream sequences. She lets a female photographer touch her, remove most of her clothing, and then kiss her. But unfortunately that's it. Worth it for Alyssa's breasts IMHO!"
26. Laura DVD ~ Dawn Dunlap, James Mitchell Maud Adams
The list author says:
"David Hamilton is well known for his photography of adolescent girls. Laura was a venture into films along the same lines. Thin plot, poor acting and non-existent dialogue but the seduction scene at the end isn't bad as erotic films go. It's basically a film of a David Hamilton book."
A Listmania! list by Kiwi (Mississauga, Ontario Canada)
The list author says: "There's lots of bad movies out there under the "erotic" label. From personal viewing experience, here's some of the ones I think are worth watching."
1. The Lover DVD ~ Jane March
The list author says:
"The young Jane March is stunning with or without clothes. One of the best soft-core films ever made (IMHO) - altho many a reviwer denies the softcore label and says "it's a love story". Watch for yourself and make up your own mind.."
2. Wild Orchid DVD ~ Mickey Rourke
The list author says:
"The sex scenes with Carre Otis are outstanding. Watch this one with your girlfriend - don't waste it watching by yourself!"
3. Lolita DVD ~ Jeremy Irons
The list author says:
"Lolita - need one say more! Dominique Swain is a little charmer."
4. Beau Pere DVD ~ Patrick Dewaere
The list author says:
"14-year-old girl attracted to her 30-year-old stepfather. Who gives in and allows himself to be seduced. Ariel Besse is cute!"
5. The Hot Spot DVD ~ Don Johnson
The list author says:
"Best known to lecherous film buffs for Jennifer Connelly's topless scene! No more needs to be said."
6. 9 1/2 Weeks DVD ~ Mickey Rourke
The list author says:
"You won't regret buying this one. A lot of sex, dominance / submissive stuff, extremely erotic and well filmed. Elizabeth's a bit old though."
7. 36 Fillette DVD ~ Delphine Zentout
The list author says:
"On vacation, 14 year old Lili vows to lose her virginity - and suceeds. More realistic than most but good nonetheless. Most of the sex is under the sheets so to speak."
8. In the Realm of the Senses DVD ~ Tatsuya Fuji
The list author says:
"One of the most sexually explicit films ever to play in mainstream theaters. Well worth watching."
$ 9. Lies DVD ~ Sang Hyun Lee
The list author says:
"A tale of an obsessive affair between a schoolgirl and a middle-aged sculptor. Korean film, quite graphic in some ways and more interesting than erotic - although the initial seduction at the start isn't too bad. Moves on into their shared interested in S&M. If coprophilia's not your thing, don't watch this one!"
10. Eugenie - The Story of Her Journey Into Perversion DVD ~ Uta Dahlberg
The list author says:
"Innocent young Eugenie is initiated into a world of pleasure and pain where she surrenders to her own forbidden fantasies! An exploration of extreme sexuality!"
11. The Story of O DVD ~ Corinne Clery
The list author says:
"The beautiful fashion photographer O is trained for a seemingly satisfying life of love and discipline! A Classic!"
12. Pretty Baby [VHS] VHS Brooke Shields
The list author says:
"Brooke Shields as a twelve year old about-to-be career prostitute. Well made by Louis Malle. No overt sex."
13. The Blue Lagoon (Special Edition) DVD ~ Brooke Shields
The list author says:
"Bad film, but it pays special attention to the burgeoning sexuality of Brooke Shields, pubescent cutie! Turn the sound off and freeze-frame Brooke naked!"
14. Cat People DVD ~ Nastassja Kinski
The list author says:
"Nastassja Kinski and sex! Need I say more! Plenty of poster-art nudity. Some nice wild-life shots too!"
15. Wild Things DVD ~ Matt Dillon
The list author says:
"Neve Campbell, Denise Richards and Matt Dillon, with accusations of rape and a convulted plot."
16. Marquis De Sade: Justine DVD ~ Mike Brendel
The list author says:
"Justine is full of wanton nudity and sexual perversion plus Romina Power, Tyrone Power's 18-year-old daughter. And Klaus Kinski. What more can one say!"
17. A Woman called Sada Abe DVD ~ Junko Miyashita
The list author says:
"The daughter of a rich merchant, is banished for losing her virginity after being raped by a college student. Includes a week-long escapade filled with dangerous obsessions"
18. Stealing Beauty DVD ~ Carlo Cecchi
The list author says:
"Bernardo Bertolucci film. More an Italian travelogue than a drama. Liv Tyler stars as Lucy Harmon who has decided to lose her virginity in Tuscany. If you liked Liv Tyler in Lord of the Rings, you'll love her here."
19. Zalman King's Red Shoe Diaries Collection (The Movie/Girl on a Bike/Soundtrack CD) DVD ~ David Duchovny
The list author says:
"Great collection of erotic masterpieces. A worthwhile addition to any collection of erotic movies."
20. The Dreamers (Original Uncut NC-17 Version) DVD ~ Michael Pitt
The list author says:
"Another Bernardo Bertolucci art film that's got lots of sex and nudity. The female star is hot!"
21. Y Tu Mama Tambien DVD ~ Ana López Mercado
The list author says:
"Sex, death, poverty, and adultery. Not quite erotic but good!"
22. Color of Night DVD ~ Bruce Willis
The list author says:
"An older Jane March with some so-so sex . Worth it for the sight of Jane March making love! Apparantly she had to coach Bruce thru the sex scenes."
23. Delta of Venus DVD ~ Audie England
The list author says:
"Based on Anais Nin's pre-WWII book. The lead character, played by Audie England, is young American writer in Paris who takes up writing erotica. Plenty of passionate sex. Directed by Zalman King, whose excellent at this sort of stuff."
24. Embrace of the Vampire DVD ~ Martin Kemp
The list author says:
"If you're looking for a softcore porn movie starring Alyssa Milano's bare breasts, you've found the right movie.
Alyssa Milano gets naked. You see her nipples with amazing frequency. She lets guys touch her in dream sequences. She lets a female photographer touch her, remove most of her clothing, and then kiss her. But unfortunately that's it. Worth it for Alyssa's breasts IMHO!"
26. Laura DVD ~ Dawn Dunlap, James Mitchell Maud Adams
The list author says:
"David Hamilton is well known for his photography of adolescent girls. Laura was a venture into films along the same lines. Thin plot, poor acting and non-existent dialogue but the seduction scene at the end isn't bad as erotic films go. It's basically a film of a David Hamilton book."
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Tae Yang I Need A Girl lyrics
I'm tired of being alone
Sick of being single
I think I need a girl
I need a girl like
Saenggak eopneun maltu
Eorein aedeul malgu
Nal gamssa.ana jul
Shim shim handdae gaggeum
Noneun yeoja malgu naman saranghaejul
Gamanisseodo namjanomdeul
Jeonhwagil naemiljiman
Jarangseureopgae nae sajineul
Kkeonaebo Ineun georeun girl
Girl, I need a girl
Mweolhaedo eeppeun
Mommaedo eeppeun
Girl, I need a girl
Baby, I need you
Girl, you need me, too
Chimaboda chungbajiga deo jal eo.oolineun geureon yeoja
Kimchi bokkeumbapeun naega jal mandeul eo
Daeshin jal meogeul su itneun yeoja
Na.I.ga manado eoryeobo.I.neun yeoja
Nan geureon yeojaga jodeora
(Know what I mean)
Bukkeureo.oon cheok hamyeonseodo
Dangdol halju aneun girl
Pyungso.aen joshinhan cheokhaedo gatchi isseumyeon
Hmm, y'all know what I'm talking about
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tae_yang/i_need_a_girl.html ]
Girl, I need a girl
Mweolhaedo eeppeun
Mom.maedo eeppeun
Girl, I need a girl
Nan eereon yeojaga jodeora
Waemoneun not issue but meoseul aneun gwiyeo.oon girl
Chwimineun dallado chwihyangeun gatae
Younghwana eumakeul bol ddaemyeon mali tonghaneun girl
(Yes! ) I love girls, girls I do adore
Sarangdeul apaesun jijo.itgae nolayo
Nae apaesun aing nan mollayo
Achimae nal kkae.ooneun moksori
(Morning Kiss) Harureul shijak.hagoshipeo(I want it all)
Bamaeneun ni mureupae gidae
Jajanggareul deuleumyeo ni kkoom kkugoshipeo
Dashi nae gaseumeul ddwigae haejweo
Dashi dalkomhan norael mandeulgae hajweo
You know don't need no more
Danji geureongae anya nae mameul jugo shipeun saram
Girl, I need a girl
Girl like you, gotta make you're mine
I'm treat you right, baby
Girl, I need a girl
Mweolhaedo eeppeun
Mommaedo eeppeun
Girl, I need a girl
Baby, I need you
Girl, you need me, too
Girl, I need a girl
Girl, I need a girl
Girl, nae maleul deudgo itni
Baby, I need you
Girl, you need me, too
Girl, I need a girl
Sick of being single
I think I need a girl
I need a girl like
Saenggak eopneun maltu
Eorein aedeul malgu
Nal gamssa.ana jul
Shim shim handdae gaggeum
Noneun yeoja malgu naman saranghaejul
Gamanisseodo namjanomdeul
Jeonhwagil naemiljiman
Jarangseureopgae nae sajineul
Kkeonaebo Ineun georeun girl
Girl, I need a girl
Mweolhaedo eeppeun
Mommaedo eeppeun
Girl, I need a girl
Baby, I need you
Girl, you need me, too
Chimaboda chungbajiga deo jal eo.oolineun geureon yeoja
Kimchi bokkeumbapeun naega jal mandeul eo
Daeshin jal meogeul su itneun yeoja
Na.I.ga manado eoryeobo.I.neun yeoja
Nan geureon yeojaga jodeora
(Know what I mean)
Bukkeureo.oon cheok hamyeonseodo
Dangdol halju aneun girl
Pyungso.aen joshinhan cheokhaedo gatchi isseumyeon
Hmm, y'all know what I'm talking about
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tae_yang/i_need_a_girl.html ]
Girl, I need a girl
Mweolhaedo eeppeun
Mom.maedo eeppeun
Girl, I need a girl
Nan eereon yeojaga jodeora
Waemoneun not issue but meoseul aneun gwiyeo.oon girl
Chwimineun dallado chwihyangeun gatae
Younghwana eumakeul bol ddaemyeon mali tonghaneun girl
(Yes! ) I love girls, girls I do adore
Sarangdeul apaesun jijo.itgae nolayo
Nae apaesun aing nan mollayo
Achimae nal kkae.ooneun moksori
(Morning Kiss) Harureul shijak.hagoshipeo(I want it all)
Bamaeneun ni mureupae gidae
Jajanggareul deuleumyeo ni kkoom kkugoshipeo
Dashi nae gaseumeul ddwigae haejweo
Dashi dalkomhan norael mandeulgae hajweo
You know don't need no more
Danji geureongae anya nae mameul jugo shipeun saram
Girl, I need a girl
Girl like you, gotta make you're mine
I'm treat you right, baby
Girl, I need a girl
Mweolhaedo eeppeun
Mommaedo eeppeun
Girl, I need a girl
Baby, I need you
Girl, you need me, too
Girl, I need a girl
Girl, I need a girl
Girl, nae maleul deudgo itni
Baby, I need you
Girl, you need me, too
Girl, I need a girl
"Take Me To Your Heart"
"Take Me To Your Heart"
Hiding from the rain and snow
Trying to forget but I won't let go
Looking at a crowded street
Listening to my own heart beat
So many people all around the world
Tell me where do I find someone like you girl
[Chorus]
Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand before I'm old
Show me what love is - haven't got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true
They say nothing lasts forever
We're only here today
Love is now or never
Bring me far away
Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand and hold me
Show me what love is - be my guiding star
It's easy take me to your heart
Standing on a mountain high
Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky
I should go and see some friends
But they don't really comprehend
Don't need too much talking without saying anything
All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing
Hiding from the rain and snow
Trying to forget but I won't let go
Looking at a crowded street
Listening to my own heart beat
So many people all around the world
Tell me where do I find someone like you girl
[Chorus]
Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand before I'm old
Show me what love is - haven't got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true
They say nothing lasts forever
We're only here today
Love is now or never
Bring me far away
Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand and hold me
Show me what love is - be my guiding star
It's easy take me to your heart
Standing on a mountain high
Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky
I should go and see some friends
But they don't really comprehend
Don't need too much talking without saying anything
All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Sex appeal
You have large eyes +1
University of Edinburgh studies have shown that women are attracted to men with large eyes because this subconsciously reminds them of babies’ faces and signals your virility. The piggy-eyed can fake this by getting a professional such as those at Gentlemen’s Tonic to open up their eyes by whittling down your monobrow and removing any straggly hairs.
You wear glasses +1
According to studies by the University of Stockholm women are more attracted to speccy men because they look more intelligent. 20/20 vision? Specsavers stock clear glass frames and their staff are trained to help you find the best style for your face shape.
You have a facial scar +1
University of Liverpool researchers found that women are more attracted to men who have facial scars because to our caveman ancestors this would signal that you’d survived a few fights, so could protect her from marauding sabre-tooths. But don’t go into battle now; studies by the University of South Florida have shown that women are more attracted to men who can walk away from bar room brawls.
Your name is George, Peter or Tony – 1
Linguists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that men with a vowel or an ‘awww’ sound at the end of their name such as George, Peter or Tony were less attractive to women. The reason: a ‘front vowel’ sound in your name (Matt, Martin or Daniel) sounds more feminine, so the owner is perceived to be more gentle and caring.
Got the perfect score?
If you think you can put your secret skills to the test then join the Men's Health Dating Lounge, where stylish, attractive women are waiting to meet men like you.
University of Edinburgh studies have shown that women are attracted to men with large eyes because this subconsciously reminds them of babies’ faces and signals your virility. The piggy-eyed can fake this by getting a professional such as those at Gentlemen’s Tonic to open up their eyes by whittling down your monobrow and removing any straggly hairs.
You wear glasses +1
According to studies by the University of Stockholm women are more attracted to speccy men because they look more intelligent. 20/20 vision? Specsavers stock clear glass frames and their staff are trained to help you find the best style for your face shape.
You have a facial scar +1
University of Liverpool researchers found that women are more attracted to men who have facial scars because to our caveman ancestors this would signal that you’d survived a few fights, so could protect her from marauding sabre-tooths. But don’t go into battle now; studies by the University of South Florida have shown that women are more attracted to men who can walk away from bar room brawls.
Your name is George, Peter or Tony – 1
Linguists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that men with a vowel or an ‘awww’ sound at the end of their name such as George, Peter or Tony were less attractive to women. The reason: a ‘front vowel’ sound in your name (Matt, Martin or Daniel) sounds more feminine, so the owner is perceived to be more gentle and caring.
Got the perfect score?
If you think you can put your secret skills to the test then join the Men's Health Dating Lounge, where stylish, attractive women are waiting to meet men like you.
female MIND XPOSED
Female Bureau of Investigation
When it comes to police dramas we know the drill: entire days spent observing a suspect, analysing their motives. But what if you could apply those theories to dating? So instead of basing decisions on her initial appearance, you could use key detection techniques to suss her out properly? It’s not as far-fetched as it sounds.
“About 90% of law enforcement involves analysing nonverbal responses,” says former FBI agent Joe Navarro. “You could certainly use those same skills to uncover undesirable behaviours in a woman.” So stop, look and listen – and make sure that engine’s still running outside...
Say cheese
Don’t assume that because a woman’s smiling she’s a sweet, happy-go-lucky type. Social pyschologist Professor James Dabbs found that certain female smiles indicate undesirable levels of testosterone. Avoid a woman with a tight grin “with less muscle activity around the cheeks or the corners of her mouth.” Otherwise you get a potential partner with high aggression and ‘interpersonal dominance’. Instead, look for a wide smile that reaches towards the corners of her eyes.
Pull up a pew
A woman’s seating choice in a bar or restaurant reveals a lot about her. “Someone who picks a seat in the middle of the room is confident, sometimes to the point of narcissism” warns Judi James, body language expert. “Dominant but inwardly anxious women like to sit with their backs to the wall.” James recommends a woman who is sitting “facing the door, but also politely focused on any friends speaking to her. One elbow lightly resting on the table equals confidence but not arrogance.”
Unhappy birthday
If she’s 37, or about to turn it, steer well clear. Research by relationship counsellors Relate found this is the age women are most likely to have a mid-life crisis. “It’s when life gets really hard,” says Relate’s Claire Tyler. “You’re experiencing strong impulses to start a family, pressure at work can be intense and money worries as you progress to the next stage of your life can be crippling.” If the world is a stage, then this stage is a world of trouble.
When eating is cheating
Results just in: girls who eat salads in front of you care too much about their appearance, and aren’t entirely honest. A recent Canadian study discovered that the way women eat around men is designed to impress them. “The salad leaves are meant to say ‘I’m pretty; I’m attractive; I take care of myself,’” says Young. And then she goes home and eats 17 Jaffa Cakes.
On the buses
Beware the girl who chooses the aisle seat on the No 55, leaving the window seat empty. “This shows egocentrism and a belief that they don’t belong in the real world,” says James. “When a woman removes herself from a situation without consideration for others, it shows she can easily disengage her emotions. Instead, go for the girl who plumps for the middle of the upper deck in a window seat and you should find someone who is amenable.”
Nail it
Heaven help you if your intended has long talons. “Fake nails are meant to imply high status and wealth, to the point that a woman doesn’t need to do anything for a living,” says James. “In other words, she’s desperately high maintenance so steer well clear.” But neither are you on safe ground pursuing a girl with short, chewed fingernails. “Those raggedy nails indicate someone with issues of suppressed aggression.” And you’re her next target.
Lines of the times
Check out your suspect’s forehead and upper lip for an insight into her brain. “If she has a furrow between her eyebrows, it’s a proven sign she gets stressed easily,” says relationship psychologist Suasn Quilliam. “If she has lines where her lips purse, it indicates she gets irritated easily and isn’t particularly happy.” Not all lines are bad though. Lines around the outside edge of her eyes are a sign, according to Quilliam, of a “genuinely warm person”. Tell your mum, too.
Neck lies
“One of the most important things to look for when cross-examining a witness is how often they touch their neck,” says Navarro. “Once, looking for an armed fugitive, I visited his mother’s house to question her. Every time I said the words ‘son’ and ‘house’ she touched her neck. It made me suspicious, and we later discovered he was hiding there. It’s behaviour you’ll see time and again when someone is feeling anxious or insecure.”
Leg it
Check out how she arranges her legs. “If they’re wrapped around one another she’s got low self-esteem to the point of paranoia” says James. “It’s a sign that she’s trying to shrink into herself. The reverse is the woman who crosses her legs with her upper foot extended and rocking; this implies arrogance and impatience. It’s a very masculine trait that hints at someone demanding.” Look instead for a girl with legs crossed at the thigh but with the lower leg relaxed.
First-class fidget
Don’t mistake any girl peeling at the label on your Becks, or rolling candle wax during a conversation, for cute shyness. The truth is she’s got no interest in what you’re saying and probably never will. “These little ticks are called escape movements” says Quilliam. “It’s her body showing she’s irritated and wants a route out. If she’s not focused, she’s not interested.” Good job that engine’s still running...
When it comes to police dramas we know the drill: entire days spent observing a suspect, analysing their motives. But what if you could apply those theories to dating? So instead of basing decisions on her initial appearance, you could use key detection techniques to suss her out properly? It’s not as far-fetched as it sounds.
“About 90% of law enforcement involves analysing nonverbal responses,” says former FBI agent Joe Navarro. “You could certainly use those same skills to uncover undesirable behaviours in a woman.” So stop, look and listen – and make sure that engine’s still running outside...
Say cheese
Don’t assume that because a woman’s smiling she’s a sweet, happy-go-lucky type. Social pyschologist Professor James Dabbs found that certain female smiles indicate undesirable levels of testosterone. Avoid a woman with a tight grin “with less muscle activity around the cheeks or the corners of her mouth.” Otherwise you get a potential partner with high aggression and ‘interpersonal dominance’. Instead, look for a wide smile that reaches towards the corners of her eyes.
Pull up a pew
A woman’s seating choice in a bar or restaurant reveals a lot about her. “Someone who picks a seat in the middle of the room is confident, sometimes to the point of narcissism” warns Judi James, body language expert. “Dominant but inwardly anxious women like to sit with their backs to the wall.” James recommends a woman who is sitting “facing the door, but also politely focused on any friends speaking to her. One elbow lightly resting on the table equals confidence but not arrogance.”
Unhappy birthday
If she’s 37, or about to turn it, steer well clear. Research by relationship counsellors Relate found this is the age women are most likely to have a mid-life crisis. “It’s when life gets really hard,” says Relate’s Claire Tyler. “You’re experiencing strong impulses to start a family, pressure at work can be intense and money worries as you progress to the next stage of your life can be crippling.” If the world is a stage, then this stage is a world of trouble.
When eating is cheating
Results just in: girls who eat salads in front of you care too much about their appearance, and aren’t entirely honest. A recent Canadian study discovered that the way women eat around men is designed to impress them. “The salad leaves are meant to say ‘I’m pretty; I’m attractive; I take care of myself,’” says Young. And then she goes home and eats 17 Jaffa Cakes.
On the buses
Beware the girl who chooses the aisle seat on the No 55, leaving the window seat empty. “This shows egocentrism and a belief that they don’t belong in the real world,” says James. “When a woman removes herself from a situation without consideration for others, it shows she can easily disengage her emotions. Instead, go for the girl who plumps for the middle of the upper deck in a window seat and you should find someone who is amenable.”
Nail it
Heaven help you if your intended has long talons. “Fake nails are meant to imply high status and wealth, to the point that a woman doesn’t need to do anything for a living,” says James. “In other words, she’s desperately high maintenance so steer well clear.” But neither are you on safe ground pursuing a girl with short, chewed fingernails. “Those raggedy nails indicate someone with issues of suppressed aggression.” And you’re her next target.
Lines of the times
Check out your suspect’s forehead and upper lip for an insight into her brain. “If she has a furrow between her eyebrows, it’s a proven sign she gets stressed easily,” says relationship psychologist Suasn Quilliam. “If she has lines where her lips purse, it indicates she gets irritated easily and isn’t particularly happy.” Not all lines are bad though. Lines around the outside edge of her eyes are a sign, according to Quilliam, of a “genuinely warm person”. Tell your mum, too.
Neck lies
“One of the most important things to look for when cross-examining a witness is how often they touch their neck,” says Navarro. “Once, looking for an armed fugitive, I visited his mother’s house to question her. Every time I said the words ‘son’ and ‘house’ she touched her neck. It made me suspicious, and we later discovered he was hiding there. It’s behaviour you’ll see time and again when someone is feeling anxious or insecure.”
Leg it
Check out how she arranges her legs. “If they’re wrapped around one another she’s got low self-esteem to the point of paranoia” says James. “It’s a sign that she’s trying to shrink into herself. The reverse is the woman who crosses her legs with her upper foot extended and rocking; this implies arrogance and impatience. It’s a very masculine trait that hints at someone demanding.” Look instead for a girl with legs crossed at the thigh but with the lower leg relaxed.
First-class fidget
Don’t mistake any girl peeling at the label on your Becks, or rolling candle wax during a conversation, for cute shyness. The truth is she’s got no interest in what you’re saying and probably never will. “These little ticks are called escape movements” says Quilliam. “It’s her body showing she’s irritated and wants a route out. If she’s not focused, she’s not interested.” Good job that engine’s still running...
tune into her subconscious desires
When it comes to reading – and understanding – a woman’s encyclopedic body language, 70% of men are hopelessly illiterate, according to a recent study by scientists at Indiana University in the US. But just like male bowerbirds – who modify their courtship rituals based on the females’ precise body signals – you can learn to translate her secret metalanguage to ensure you’re always in control and one step ahead of her mood. Our body language experts have deciphered her most puzzling, subtle and easy-to-miss gestures so you’ll never find yourself making the wrong move again.
Toe the line
Look around you: there are women in flip-flops everywhere. Take advantage by checking for psychologist Marco Pacori’s “big toe erection” pointing straight upwards – a dead giveaway for sexual interest. Then check out somewhere a lot more private.
Watch her feet
Packed full of nerve endings (approximately 7,500 per foot), they’re your signposts to her feelings. “If her feet are pointing your way, she’s being sincere – and has got you in her crosshairs,” says body language expert Robert Phipps (robertphipps.com)
Zone in on her posture
Stress stimulates the central nervous system, raising her heart rate and tensing muscles – particularly the sphincter. This clenching automatically makes us sit up straighter, so a sudden improvement in her posture is a clear sign she’s uncomfortable with your flirtation.
Spot her hip swing
In the words of Shakira, the hips don’t lie. According to Phipps, hips thrust forward signals dominance, (warning: she’s angry). A one-hip tilt that accentuates her waist and slims her leg is a display of femininity. This woman is flirting with you.
Suss out her speech patterns
“Liars are more uneasy and tend to distance themselves by using general terms rather than ‘I’, and speaking at a softer level,” says Dr Richard Wiseman, a professor of psychology at Hereford University. So while a drop in tone can signal seduction, a sudden softening of volume is the sound of an untruth being told.
Track her movements
Women’s hair has a language all of its own. Catch her tugging her tresses and read “I’m uncomfortable.” Hair twirling however, is a primitive sign of preening that’s shorthand for “I’m yours for the taking.”
Read her lips
No matter what she’s saying, it’s her lip movements that do the real talking. According to Greg Hartley, former military interrogator and author of How to Spot a Liar (Career Press), the pressure of lying causes blood to be directed away from her mouth. So learn James Bond’s knack of spotting a double agent by her pale, cold lips when she kisses your cheek.
Toe the line
Look around you: there are women in flip-flops everywhere. Take advantage by checking for psychologist Marco Pacori’s “big toe erection” pointing straight upwards – a dead giveaway for sexual interest. Then check out somewhere a lot more private.
Watch her feet
Packed full of nerve endings (approximately 7,500 per foot), they’re your signposts to her feelings. “If her feet are pointing your way, she’s being sincere – and has got you in her crosshairs,” says body language expert Robert Phipps (robertphipps.com)
Zone in on her posture
Stress stimulates the central nervous system, raising her heart rate and tensing muscles – particularly the sphincter. This clenching automatically makes us sit up straighter, so a sudden improvement in her posture is a clear sign she’s uncomfortable with your flirtation.
Spot her hip swing
In the words of Shakira, the hips don’t lie. According to Phipps, hips thrust forward signals dominance, (warning: she’s angry). A one-hip tilt that accentuates her waist and slims her leg is a display of femininity. This woman is flirting with you.
Suss out her speech patterns
“Liars are more uneasy and tend to distance themselves by using general terms rather than ‘I’, and speaking at a softer level,” says Dr Richard Wiseman, a professor of psychology at Hereford University. So while a drop in tone can signal seduction, a sudden softening of volume is the sound of an untruth being told.
Track her movements
Women’s hair has a language all of its own. Catch her tugging her tresses and read “I’m uncomfortable.” Hair twirling however, is a primitive sign of preening that’s shorthand for “I’m yours for the taking.”
Read her lips
No matter what she’s saying, it’s her lip movements that do the real talking. According to Greg Hartley, former military interrogator and author of How to Spot a Liar (Career Press), the pressure of lying causes blood to be directed away from her mouth. So learn James Bond’s knack of spotting a double agent by her pale, cold lips when she kisses your cheek.
the ORGASM GPS
Edge forward two inches
The G-spot is more frustrating to find than your lost car keys but worth the hunt, says Dr Yvonne Fulbright, author of Touch Me There (Hunter House). "When she gets aroused this erogenous zone becomes charged by one of the most powerful nerves in the body, the pelvic nerve. While a clitoral orgasm is felt mainly in the clitoris itself a G-spot orgasm can be felt throughout her lower body."
Route guidance: Programme your bedroom TomTom a little way past your usual destination. "The G-spot is on the front wall of her vagina, a few inches in," says Siski Green, author of How To Blow Her Mind In Bed (Pikatus). "It feels rough, a bit like a walnut and swells during arousal to the size of a 2p piece." Insert two fingers about an inch or two into her vagina with your hand resting against her pubic hair. "As you rub she can grind her clitoris against your palm for added stimulation," says Green. "Press the spot on her stomach where her pubic hair starts as this pushes her G-spot down towards your hand, increasing the pressure on it."
Proceed ahead for 2 minutes
Your next landmark is officially signposted as the "anterior fornix", but savvy locals call it "the A-spot". It's a patch of nerves much larger than and about two inches higher than the G-spot. It sends sexual signals to the brain, so touching her here speeds up the arousal process. "She'll be lubricated enough to have sex in 5-10 seconds and close to orgasm in 1-2 minutes," says Dr Chua Chee Ann, the sex therapist who reported the discovery in the British Journal of Sexual & Marital Therapy.
Route guidance: "Ask your partner to sit with her legs bent and pulled up towards her body before inserting the whole of your index finger into her vagina," says Fulbright. "Move your fingers past the G-spot and feel for a larger spongy area about two inches after this. She'll get instantly wetter. The A-spot responds best to light, gentle strokes."
Turn clockwise when safe
More seasoned travellers can take a shortcut via the U-spot. According to research by the University of Chicago this is a small patch of nerves above the clitoris, above and either side of her uretha. "Touching the U-spot often leads to female ejaculation," says Fulbright.
Route guidance: With a firm hand on the wheel, "make small circles around the U-spot with your finger, varying between clockwise and anti-clockwise motions," says sex therapist Barbara Keesling, author of All Night Long (Hunter House). "Ask her to suck your fingers before you begin; saliva lets them glide rather than drag on the U-spot, maximising her chances of having an orgasm. Don't probe the opening with your finger, though, there's a chance this could lead to a urinary tract infection."
Go round the roundabout
Rather than just providing interesting scenery, if properly stimulated the nipples can easily become an orgasmic A-road. "There are two reasons why this could happen," says Fulbright. "Touching her nipples causes them to fill with blood and get erect, sending sexual signals to the brain in the same way the genitals do. Nipple stimulation also leads to the release of oxytocin, the body's feel-good hormone, which triggers an orgasm.
Route guidance: "The most effective way to stimulate her breasts and nipples to orgasm is orally," says Fulbright. "As you suck her nipples point the tip of your tongue and use it to caress the nipple in a circular motion." The best time to try this is two weeks before her period when her breasts are at their most sensitive, says research by Columbia University.
Reach your destination in three minutes
When it comes to clitoral stimulation, it's safe to exceed the speed limit. But it's not a good idea to just hit the gas and hope for the best. "The clitoris is like the tip of an iceberg," says Dr Hilda Hutcherson, professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Columbia University. "It has sensitive tissue that runs down either side of the vagina and towards the back of her thighs in a wishbone shape." If you are just rubbing her on top you're missing out on stimulating these sensitive areas around and underneath.
Route guidance: "The Kivin method of oral sex gives 60% of women a faster and more intense orgasm," says registered sex therapist Dr Patti Britton (www.askthesexcoach.com). "Most women climax after three minutes." Put two fingers either side of her clitoris and slowly sweep your tongue back and forth feeling for two tiny bumps on each side of the hood. Slowly increase your speed then using a finger from your free hand press into her perineum. As you feel her nearing orgasm, transfer your tongue from the side to the head of her clitoris. Do not attempt any of this while wearing driving gloves.
The G-spot is more frustrating to find than your lost car keys but worth the hunt, says Dr Yvonne Fulbright, author of Touch Me There (Hunter House). "When she gets aroused this erogenous zone becomes charged by one of the most powerful nerves in the body, the pelvic nerve. While a clitoral orgasm is felt mainly in the clitoris itself a G-spot orgasm can be felt throughout her lower body."
Route guidance: Programme your bedroom TomTom a little way past your usual destination. "The G-spot is on the front wall of her vagina, a few inches in," says Siski Green, author of How To Blow Her Mind In Bed (Pikatus). "It feels rough, a bit like a walnut and swells during arousal to the size of a 2p piece." Insert two fingers about an inch or two into her vagina with your hand resting against her pubic hair. "As you rub she can grind her clitoris against your palm for added stimulation," says Green. "Press the spot on her stomach where her pubic hair starts as this pushes her G-spot down towards your hand, increasing the pressure on it."
Proceed ahead for 2 minutes
Your next landmark is officially signposted as the "anterior fornix", but savvy locals call it "the A-spot". It's a patch of nerves much larger than and about two inches higher than the G-spot. It sends sexual signals to the brain, so touching her here speeds up the arousal process. "She'll be lubricated enough to have sex in 5-10 seconds and close to orgasm in 1-2 minutes," says Dr Chua Chee Ann, the sex therapist who reported the discovery in the British Journal of Sexual & Marital Therapy.
Route guidance: "Ask your partner to sit with her legs bent and pulled up towards her body before inserting the whole of your index finger into her vagina," says Fulbright. "Move your fingers past the G-spot and feel for a larger spongy area about two inches after this. She'll get instantly wetter. The A-spot responds best to light, gentle strokes."
Turn clockwise when safe
More seasoned travellers can take a shortcut via the U-spot. According to research by the University of Chicago this is a small patch of nerves above the clitoris, above and either side of her uretha. "Touching the U-spot often leads to female ejaculation," says Fulbright.
Route guidance: With a firm hand on the wheel, "make small circles around the U-spot with your finger, varying between clockwise and anti-clockwise motions," says sex therapist Barbara Keesling, author of All Night Long (Hunter House). "Ask her to suck your fingers before you begin; saliva lets them glide rather than drag on the U-spot, maximising her chances of having an orgasm. Don't probe the opening with your finger, though, there's a chance this could lead to a urinary tract infection."
Go round the roundabout
Rather than just providing interesting scenery, if properly stimulated the nipples can easily become an orgasmic A-road. "There are two reasons why this could happen," says Fulbright. "Touching her nipples causes them to fill with blood and get erect, sending sexual signals to the brain in the same way the genitals do. Nipple stimulation also leads to the release of oxytocin, the body's feel-good hormone, which triggers an orgasm.
Route guidance: "The most effective way to stimulate her breasts and nipples to orgasm is orally," says Fulbright. "As you suck her nipples point the tip of your tongue and use it to caress the nipple in a circular motion." The best time to try this is two weeks before her period when her breasts are at their most sensitive, says research by Columbia University.
Reach your destination in three minutes
When it comes to clitoral stimulation, it's safe to exceed the speed limit. But it's not a good idea to just hit the gas and hope for the best. "The clitoris is like the tip of an iceberg," says Dr Hilda Hutcherson, professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Columbia University. "It has sensitive tissue that runs down either side of the vagina and towards the back of her thighs in a wishbone shape." If you are just rubbing her on top you're missing out on stimulating these sensitive areas around and underneath.
Route guidance: "The Kivin method of oral sex gives 60% of women a faster and more intense orgasm," says registered sex therapist Dr Patti Britton (www.askthesexcoach.com). "Most women climax after three minutes." Put two fingers either side of her clitoris and slowly sweep your tongue back and forth feeling for two tiny bumps on each side of the hood. Slowly increase your speed then using a finger from your free hand press into her perineum. As you feel her nearing orgasm, transfer your tongue from the side to the head of her clitoris. Do not attempt any of this while wearing driving gloves.
Are you "ill-cliterate"?
In the US, many men seem to know more about what's under the hood of a car than the hood of the clitoris. I think "ill-cliteracy" is a shame. In terms of the G spot, a lot of fuss is made over the differences between clitoral and G spot orgasms. The clitoral orgasm is often criticised as being quick and light-hearted, while G spot orgasms are somehow deemed more serious and substantive.
However, a quick study of anatomy reveals that all orgasms are clitoral. The clitoris is the sexual epicenter, an orgasmic powerhouse in which no sensation goes unnoticed. As scientist Natalie Angier writes of the infamous G spot, the area of soft tissue just inside the vaginal area, “the roots of the clitoris run deep, and very likely can be tickled through posterior agitation. In other words, the G spot may be nothing more than the back end of the clitoris.”
Surrounding the urethra is a ring of spongy erectile tissue, known as corpus spongiosum, which fills with blood during arousal and protects the urethra from the friction of penetration. But the errogenous feelings that emanate from the area may simply be nothing more than the roots of the clitoris crisscrossing the urethral sponge.
So irrespective of anatomy, it would be hard to dispute the area's errogenous potential, but I don't think one should think either/or, but rather think of the clitoris and G spot as being part of the same pleasure zone.
Viva La Vulva!
However, a quick study of anatomy reveals that all orgasms are clitoral. The clitoris is the sexual epicenter, an orgasmic powerhouse in which no sensation goes unnoticed. As scientist Natalie Angier writes of the infamous G spot, the area of soft tissue just inside the vaginal area, “the roots of the clitoris run deep, and very likely can be tickled through posterior agitation. In other words, the G spot may be nothing more than the back end of the clitoris.”
Surrounding the urethra is a ring of spongy erectile tissue, known as corpus spongiosum, which fills with blood during arousal and protects the urethra from the friction of penetration. But the errogenous feelings that emanate from the area may simply be nothing more than the roots of the clitoris crisscrossing the urethral sponge.
So irrespective of anatomy, it would be hard to dispute the area's errogenous potential, but I don't think one should think either/or, but rather think of the clitoris and G spot as being part of the same pleasure zone.
Viva La Vulva!
Master the massage
Become a massage maestro and have her quivering under your palms
Go slow
"The key is to work slowly," advises Susan Findlay, director of the North London School of Sports Massage. "Use the heel of your hand to make continuous fluid movements and work the whole length of the muscle."
Warm the oil
Ask your partner to lie face down on a towel on a carpeted floor. Make sure she is comfortable (ie. undressed) and squeeze a little oil into your palm, rubbing your hands to warm it up.
Knead, squeeze and pinch
Start at the shoulders, squeezing them and the back of the neck before working down each arm, all the way to the fingertips. Massage the skin and muscles by kneading, squeezing, and gently pinching between your thumb and fingers.
Down you go
After the arms, return to the neck and work your way down the lower back in horizontal blocks. Make smooth circular, clockwise motions, using the same massage techniques as on the arms but adding the heel of your hand for larger areas either side of the spine.
Save the whales
End by using the palm of your hand to work the entire buttock area. The whole process should ideally take about 45 minutes. Whale music and incense are optional.
Go slow
"The key is to work slowly," advises Susan Findlay, director of the North London School of Sports Massage. "Use the heel of your hand to make continuous fluid movements and work the whole length of the muscle."
Warm the oil
Ask your partner to lie face down on a towel on a carpeted floor. Make sure she is comfortable (ie. undressed) and squeeze a little oil into your palm, rubbing your hands to warm it up.
Knead, squeeze and pinch
Start at the shoulders, squeezing them and the back of the neck before working down each arm, all the way to the fingertips. Massage the skin and muscles by kneading, squeezing, and gently pinching between your thumb and fingers.
Down you go
After the arms, return to the neck and work your way down the lower back in horizontal blocks. Make smooth circular, clockwise motions, using the same massage techniques as on the arms but adding the heel of your hand for larger areas either side of the spine.
Save the whales
End by using the palm of your hand to work the entire buttock area. The whole process should ideally take about 45 minutes. Whale music and incense are optional.
Fantastic first-time sex
Tips and tricks to make that first night unforgettable
Make her wait
Even if the chemistry is overpowering, it's worth holding out a while before taking things to the bedroom. "As a rule of thumb, advertise the goods on a first date: be courteous, polite and don't get drunk, and when you take her home, make that five-second kiss below her ear very interesting," says Phillip Hodson, fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and author of How Perfect is Your Partner? 50 ways to get to know your lover. Delaying the first time you get down to it will make her realise you're not just attracted to her looks. What's more, the erotic tension built up by resisting ripping each others' clothes off should lead to a mind-blowing first romp.
Learn your lines
It's important, however, not to leave her feeling rejected. "If she says, ‘Would you like to come in?' a great line is, ‘Yes, I would, but I'm not going to'," says Hodson. But don't leave it too long. "If you haven't touched her by the 15th date, by that time she'll be wondering what the hell is wrong with her." You should probably start wondering what the hell is wrong with you, too.
Soothe her anxieties
When it comes to your first time together, it's likely she'll be feeling pretty nervous. "Everyone has hang-ups about their body," says Hodson. "It's important you make her feel at ease with her imperfections." A sense of humour is key. "If she says she hasn't shaved her legs for ages, tell her you love hairy legs. It's very important to laugh - especially if things go wrong." As for positions, don't make any plans: you should go for what comes naturally and spontaneously for you both, advises Vicki Ford, author of Overcoming Sexual Problems. "Once you have established you are right for each other, the fun can really start as you experiment and talk about what you would like to do together." The first session, though, is definitely not the time to confess a penchant for golden showers.
Things can only get better
When the fun is over, don't panic if you've not quite been on top form. "Sex for the first time is often fairly unimpressive for both sides," says Hodson. "It takes time to get to know each other's hotspots." Practice, you'll want to remind her, makes perfect. So why not hop in the shower and have another go?
Make her wait
Even if the chemistry is overpowering, it's worth holding out a while before taking things to the bedroom. "As a rule of thumb, advertise the goods on a first date: be courteous, polite and don't get drunk, and when you take her home, make that five-second kiss below her ear very interesting," says Phillip Hodson, fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and author of How Perfect is Your Partner? 50 ways to get to know your lover. Delaying the first time you get down to it will make her realise you're not just attracted to her looks. What's more, the erotic tension built up by resisting ripping each others' clothes off should lead to a mind-blowing first romp.
Learn your lines
It's important, however, not to leave her feeling rejected. "If she says, ‘Would you like to come in?' a great line is, ‘Yes, I would, but I'm not going to'," says Hodson. But don't leave it too long. "If you haven't touched her by the 15th date, by that time she'll be wondering what the hell is wrong with her." You should probably start wondering what the hell is wrong with you, too.
Soothe her anxieties
When it comes to your first time together, it's likely she'll be feeling pretty nervous. "Everyone has hang-ups about their body," says Hodson. "It's important you make her feel at ease with her imperfections." A sense of humour is key. "If she says she hasn't shaved her legs for ages, tell her you love hairy legs. It's very important to laugh - especially if things go wrong." As for positions, don't make any plans: you should go for what comes naturally and spontaneously for you both, advises Vicki Ford, author of Overcoming Sexual Problems. "Once you have established you are right for each other, the fun can really start as you experiment and talk about what you would like to do together." The first session, though, is definitely not the time to confess a penchant for golden showers.
Things can only get better
When the fun is over, don't panic if you've not quite been on top form. "Sex for the first time is often fairly unimpressive for both sides," says Hodson. "It takes time to get to know each other's hotspots." Practice, you'll want to remind her, makes perfect. So why not hop in the shower and have another go?
A guide to her vagina
Her sweet spot
That's right, we are shining a spotlight on the almighty vagina. And it's about time. Given the ridiculous amount of time talking about it, you'd think we'd know everything about this attention-getting organ's intricate design, yet most men don't know her labia from a vulva.
The following guide explains a few things you might still wonder about, like the secret to finding the nerve-packed hot spots that make intercourse feel the best it can.
The VIP Lounge
Most people call the whole kit and caboodle between a woman's legs the "vagina" but the compendium of visible outer parts is technically the "vulva". Meant to keep dirt and bacteria out while providing a welcoming environment for worthy partygoers, the vulva is like a VIP lounge where the clitoris is the DJ. "The labia majora (outer lips) are a protective layer of fat covered by the skin and hair," says Dr Lillian Schapiro, a gynaecologist. Their job is to keep sex comfy even if your pelvis is bonier than Iggy Pop's.
Located inside the labia majora (though sometimes extending beyond them), the labia minora, or inner lips, act like a pair of swinging doors guarding the entrance to the vagina and the urethra, the tube that leads from the bladder. "The labia minora are much thinner than the labia majora and even more sensitive," says Dr Schapiro says. Plus, they contain erectile tissue, made up of clusters of tiny blood vessels, which means they become slightly stiffer (though not as stiff as the clitoris) during arousal. The anatomist who named the parts of the vulva must have found it lounge like too, because the area between and including the inner folds of the labia minors is called the "vestibule."
The sprinkler system
Hiding just below the skin of the labia and the clitoral hood (called the prepuce) are hundreds of small glands that secrete oil and sweat to protect those delicate areas from friction and overheating. The inside of the vagina also stays moist to maintain healthy tissue, but as you've no doubt noticed, it gets wetter when you've turned her on.
That's because the lining of the vagina fills with blood during arousal, causing the salt water in blood plasma to push through the vaginal wall. The Bartholin's glands – on either side of the vaginal opening – also pump out a few beads of slippery mucus. In missionary position, most of this fluid collects in the back of the vagina and fails to lubricate the opening, making sex uncomfortable. Unfortunately in some women lubrication occurs for only a few moments then stops. In both case, a water-based lubricant (spit does the job very well too) is key to ensuing a smooth entry.
Pleats and ruffles
The vulva and the vagina feature a variety of textures. Most of the vulva is smooth, but some women's labia minora have a ruffled appearance. "Labias come in all shapes and sizes," says Dr Stewart. "The tips of the nipples and the labia are similar because they both contain small, bumpy-looking glands." When going down on a girl you may also notice that the entrance to the vagina also has a ruffled border or just a few irregular bits of skin.
Those are the remnants of the hymen, a thin membrane that once partially covered the entrance but has been torn or pushed aside by sexual intercourse. As for the texture inside the vagina, it's full of bumpy ridges called rugae. The rugae stretch and retract to accommodate objects ranging from your penis to 10lb babies.
Finding the wishbone
In a body full of hardworking organs the clitoris is like Paris Hilton – it does nothing but party. It's the only part of the human body whose sole purpose is for pleasure. The one thing that the clitoris has that Paris lacks? Depth."The clitoris is larger than it seems," says Dr Laura Berman, a clinical assistant professor of gynaecology at North-western University's medical school. Beneath the visible pink button, called the glans, lies a wish-bone shaped structure comprising a shaft, which extends about an inch up towards the pubic bone, and two three inch arms called crura that reach down and back toward the pelvic bone in an inverted v-shape. Though the shaft and crura send pleasure signals to the brain during sex, the glans is more sensitive. That's why it has a hood – without it a pair of tight jeans would send your missus into overdrive!
Two bulbs of erectile tissue run alongside the crura. Many experts, including Berman and Dr Helen O'Connell, an urologist at Royal Melbourne Hospital in Australia and the first person to map the clitoris using magnetic resonance imaging believe that this tissue is part of the clitoris too. In studies, Dr O'Connell found that the clitoris is also connected to erectile tissue surrounding the urethra and extending up to the front wall of the vagina - where the enigmatic G-spot has been known to pop up.
Over the hedge
The hair that covers the pubic mound and outer labia grows in a pattern called the escutcheon (based on the Latin term for an ornamental shield). When allowed to grow wild, some escutcheons will wander up toward the navel and down toward the upper thighs, while others wouldn't breech the borders of a Brazilian Bikini. The shape of the hair shaft differs depending on their ethnicity; in Asian women they're typically round, in women of African decent they are elliptical, and in Caucasians and Latinas they range between the two. "Elliptical shafts are more likely to become ingrown after shaving or waxing as the hair curls in, pierces the skin and creates a bump," says dermatologist Dr Susan Taylor.
X marks the spot
While the vagina is nowhere near as responsive to touch as the vulva, it does contain hundreds of nerve endings. If a woman were lying on her back with a clock placed upright inside the lower part of her vagina (don't ask how it got there), the most sensitive area would be at 12 o'clock, right behind the urethra. In a 1982 study of more than 400 women, Rutgers University sex researcher Dr Beverly Whipple, found that when this area was stimulated after a woman was already sexually aroused, a bump of tissue speared and could sometimes trigger an orgasm. She named the area the G-spot after Ernst Grafenberg, the German doctor who first documented it in 1950.
Further examination of this spongy tissue found it identical to that of the male prostate gland, a well-established pleasure zone. Some doctors believe the G-spot should be renamed the female prostate. Supporting that belief is a study showing the similarity between the fluid expelled by a very small percentage of women through their urethra during G-spot orgasm (aka female ejaculation) and that produced by the male prostate. What if you never found her G-spot? Whipple says, don't sweat it; "There are many sensitive areas inside he vagina that, when stimulated by a finger, vibrator, or penis, can contribute to sexual pleasure."
Tilt-a-whirl
The vagina tilts back 30-degrees from the opening. A side effect of this 30-degree angle is that in missionary position, the penis has little to no contact with the super-sensitive front wall of the vagina. As far as orgasm goes, this is not good. Placing a pillow under her back and getting her to wrap her legs around your lower back, while rocking back and forth to create clitoral friction can help you get the maximum amount of bliss out of missionary, but other positions typically yield better results.
"The best positions for G-spot stimulation include women-on-top and rear entry," says Berman. Woman on top lets you experiment with different angles to find most feel good sensations. "Leaning back targets the anterior wall," adds Berman. Zero in on her G-spot in rear entry getting her to lie flat on her stomach and tucking a pillow under her hips. Or try reverse cowgirl, where she faces your feet – and with that view, you'll be one very happy cowboy.
That's right, we are shining a spotlight on the almighty vagina. And it's about time. Given the ridiculous amount of time talking about it, you'd think we'd know everything about this attention-getting organ's intricate design, yet most men don't know her labia from a vulva.
The following guide explains a few things you might still wonder about, like the secret to finding the nerve-packed hot spots that make intercourse feel the best it can.
The VIP Lounge
Most people call the whole kit and caboodle between a woman's legs the "vagina" but the compendium of visible outer parts is technically the "vulva". Meant to keep dirt and bacteria out while providing a welcoming environment for worthy partygoers, the vulva is like a VIP lounge where the clitoris is the DJ. "The labia majora (outer lips) are a protective layer of fat covered by the skin and hair," says Dr Lillian Schapiro, a gynaecologist. Their job is to keep sex comfy even if your pelvis is bonier than Iggy Pop's.
Located inside the labia majora (though sometimes extending beyond them), the labia minora, or inner lips, act like a pair of swinging doors guarding the entrance to the vagina and the urethra, the tube that leads from the bladder. "The labia minora are much thinner than the labia majora and even more sensitive," says Dr Schapiro says. Plus, they contain erectile tissue, made up of clusters of tiny blood vessels, which means they become slightly stiffer (though not as stiff as the clitoris) during arousal. The anatomist who named the parts of the vulva must have found it lounge like too, because the area between and including the inner folds of the labia minors is called the "vestibule."
The sprinkler system
Hiding just below the skin of the labia and the clitoral hood (called the prepuce) are hundreds of small glands that secrete oil and sweat to protect those delicate areas from friction and overheating. The inside of the vagina also stays moist to maintain healthy tissue, but as you've no doubt noticed, it gets wetter when you've turned her on.
That's because the lining of the vagina fills with blood during arousal, causing the salt water in blood plasma to push through the vaginal wall. The Bartholin's glands – on either side of the vaginal opening – also pump out a few beads of slippery mucus. In missionary position, most of this fluid collects in the back of the vagina and fails to lubricate the opening, making sex uncomfortable. Unfortunately in some women lubrication occurs for only a few moments then stops. In both case, a water-based lubricant (spit does the job very well too) is key to ensuing a smooth entry.
Pleats and ruffles
The vulva and the vagina feature a variety of textures. Most of the vulva is smooth, but some women's labia minora have a ruffled appearance. "Labias come in all shapes and sizes," says Dr Stewart. "The tips of the nipples and the labia are similar because they both contain small, bumpy-looking glands." When going down on a girl you may also notice that the entrance to the vagina also has a ruffled border or just a few irregular bits of skin.
Those are the remnants of the hymen, a thin membrane that once partially covered the entrance but has been torn or pushed aside by sexual intercourse. As for the texture inside the vagina, it's full of bumpy ridges called rugae. The rugae stretch and retract to accommodate objects ranging from your penis to 10lb babies.
Finding the wishbone
In a body full of hardworking organs the clitoris is like Paris Hilton – it does nothing but party. It's the only part of the human body whose sole purpose is for pleasure. The one thing that the clitoris has that Paris lacks? Depth."The clitoris is larger than it seems," says Dr Laura Berman, a clinical assistant professor of gynaecology at North-western University's medical school. Beneath the visible pink button, called the glans, lies a wish-bone shaped structure comprising a shaft, which extends about an inch up towards the pubic bone, and two three inch arms called crura that reach down and back toward the pelvic bone in an inverted v-shape. Though the shaft and crura send pleasure signals to the brain during sex, the glans is more sensitive. That's why it has a hood – without it a pair of tight jeans would send your missus into overdrive!
Two bulbs of erectile tissue run alongside the crura. Many experts, including Berman and Dr Helen O'Connell, an urologist at Royal Melbourne Hospital in Australia and the first person to map the clitoris using magnetic resonance imaging believe that this tissue is part of the clitoris too. In studies, Dr O'Connell found that the clitoris is also connected to erectile tissue surrounding the urethra and extending up to the front wall of the vagina - where the enigmatic G-spot has been known to pop up.
Over the hedge
The hair that covers the pubic mound and outer labia grows in a pattern called the escutcheon (based on the Latin term for an ornamental shield). When allowed to grow wild, some escutcheons will wander up toward the navel and down toward the upper thighs, while others wouldn't breech the borders of a Brazilian Bikini. The shape of the hair shaft differs depending on their ethnicity; in Asian women they're typically round, in women of African decent they are elliptical, and in Caucasians and Latinas they range between the two. "Elliptical shafts are more likely to become ingrown after shaving or waxing as the hair curls in, pierces the skin and creates a bump," says dermatologist Dr Susan Taylor.
X marks the spot
While the vagina is nowhere near as responsive to touch as the vulva, it does contain hundreds of nerve endings. If a woman were lying on her back with a clock placed upright inside the lower part of her vagina (don't ask how it got there), the most sensitive area would be at 12 o'clock, right behind the urethra. In a 1982 study of more than 400 women, Rutgers University sex researcher Dr Beverly Whipple, found that when this area was stimulated after a woman was already sexually aroused, a bump of tissue speared and could sometimes trigger an orgasm. She named the area the G-spot after Ernst Grafenberg, the German doctor who first documented it in 1950.
Further examination of this spongy tissue found it identical to that of the male prostate gland, a well-established pleasure zone. Some doctors believe the G-spot should be renamed the female prostate. Supporting that belief is a study showing the similarity between the fluid expelled by a very small percentage of women through their urethra during G-spot orgasm (aka female ejaculation) and that produced by the male prostate. What if you never found her G-spot? Whipple says, don't sweat it; "There are many sensitive areas inside he vagina that, when stimulated by a finger, vibrator, or penis, can contribute to sexual pleasure."
Tilt-a-whirl
The vagina tilts back 30-degrees from the opening. A side effect of this 30-degree angle is that in missionary position, the penis has little to no contact with the super-sensitive front wall of the vagina. As far as orgasm goes, this is not good. Placing a pillow under her back and getting her to wrap her legs around your lower back, while rocking back and forth to create clitoral friction can help you get the maximum amount of bliss out of missionary, but other positions typically yield better results.
"The best positions for G-spot stimulation include women-on-top and rear entry," says Berman. Woman on top lets you experiment with different angles to find most feel good sensations. "Leaning back targets the anterior wall," adds Berman. Zero in on her G-spot in rear entry getting her to lie flat on her stomach and tucking a pillow under her hips. Or try reverse cowgirl, where she faces your feet – and with that view, you'll be one very happy cowboy.
Give her a 30-minute orgasm
The ESO technique
If you take pride in the quality of your lady's climax, then read on. Usually a woman's orgasm lasts around 15 seconds at best but, according to American sexperts Alan and Donna Brauer, it's possible to extend those sought-after shudders for as long as half an hour. The Brauers' Extended Sexual Orgasm (ESO) technique is pretty demanding, but if followed correctly can yield deeply intense marathon orgasms – as well as sporadic pleasurable contractions up to 24 hours after the act. If there's a better way to make amends after the inevitable Valentine's row, we'd like to hear it.
While you watch The Wire
In order to have a chance of eliciting an epic orgasm, your lady will need to do some solo preparation. First, she should try to eliminate worry and think more positively about sex. Many women, according to sexologists, resist rather than embrace pleasure, so some "cognitive restructuring" is in order. Next, she should practice Kegel pelvic floor exercises, which involve squeezing, holding, and then releasing the same muscles used to stop urinating mid flow. And finally, she should masturbate more regularly – getting to know the strokes, speeds, pressures and rhythms that suit her best.
She's done all that? And you're sitting comfortably? Okay, then let's begin.
Concentrate now
Get your partner to lie down and then sit or kneel beside her. Apply some lubricant to the whole of her vagina and perineum and then lightly stroke and tease her for at least five minutes – without stimulating the clitoris or the inside of the vagina.
Next, begin to stimulate her clitoris by drawing slow and steady circular movements around it with your index finger, travelling around it once per second. Make sure she tells you exactly what pressure and rhythm feels best.
As you continue to stimulate her clitoris, she should begin her pelvic-floor squeezes while breathing deeply from the stomach. If all is going to plan, orgasm shouldn't be too far away.
When your partner feels she is about to come, watch and feel for the regular two-second contractions in her genital area, which indicate orgasm is imminent. Once they start, stop stimulating the clitoris and immediately move to stroking the inner vaginal walls. Using your fingers either push them in or out or sweep them in circles, slowly and steadily, in and out of the vaginal entrance.
Still with us?
After the orgasm, you should feel the vagina start to draw back, but the aim in ESO is to prolong the contractions, so keep your fingers inside her vagina, stroking gently until she indicates she wants more pressure and frequency. This should set off another series of contractions as you carry on stimulating the inner walls of the vagina.
The moment you feel a pause in the pulsating, move quickly back to stroking the clitoris as before. By continuing to circle the clitoris you should trigger even more contractions, which is the cue to move back to stimulating inside the vagina again. You should then move back and forth from vaginal to clitoral stimulation until the contractions are occurring every one to five seconds.
After doing this for 15 minutes, the vagina will begin to draw away less and less and the contractions should start to become continuous. When the vagina pushes out in a continual wave-like motion, you're in the final phase. Get into a position where you can use both hands to stimulate the clitoris and vagina simultaneously. The result should be wave after wave of multiple orgasms.
Now, have a rest.
Why bother?
After such a mind-blowing orgasm, your lady will feel eternally sexy and very very grateful, meaning lots of blow jobs and sex for you in return. Worth going that extra 29 minutes and 45 seconds wouldn't you say?
If you take pride in the quality of your lady's climax, then read on. Usually a woman's orgasm lasts around 15 seconds at best but, according to American sexperts Alan and Donna Brauer, it's possible to extend those sought-after shudders for as long as half an hour. The Brauers' Extended Sexual Orgasm (ESO) technique is pretty demanding, but if followed correctly can yield deeply intense marathon orgasms – as well as sporadic pleasurable contractions up to 24 hours after the act. If there's a better way to make amends after the inevitable Valentine's row, we'd like to hear it.
While you watch The Wire
In order to have a chance of eliciting an epic orgasm, your lady will need to do some solo preparation. First, she should try to eliminate worry and think more positively about sex. Many women, according to sexologists, resist rather than embrace pleasure, so some "cognitive restructuring" is in order. Next, she should practice Kegel pelvic floor exercises, which involve squeezing, holding, and then releasing the same muscles used to stop urinating mid flow. And finally, she should masturbate more regularly – getting to know the strokes, speeds, pressures and rhythms that suit her best.
She's done all that? And you're sitting comfortably? Okay, then let's begin.
Concentrate now
Get your partner to lie down and then sit or kneel beside her. Apply some lubricant to the whole of her vagina and perineum and then lightly stroke and tease her for at least five minutes – without stimulating the clitoris or the inside of the vagina.
Next, begin to stimulate her clitoris by drawing slow and steady circular movements around it with your index finger, travelling around it once per second. Make sure she tells you exactly what pressure and rhythm feels best.
As you continue to stimulate her clitoris, she should begin her pelvic-floor squeezes while breathing deeply from the stomach. If all is going to plan, orgasm shouldn't be too far away.
When your partner feels she is about to come, watch and feel for the regular two-second contractions in her genital area, which indicate orgasm is imminent. Once they start, stop stimulating the clitoris and immediately move to stroking the inner vaginal walls. Using your fingers either push them in or out or sweep them in circles, slowly and steadily, in and out of the vaginal entrance.
Still with us?
After the orgasm, you should feel the vagina start to draw back, but the aim in ESO is to prolong the contractions, so keep your fingers inside her vagina, stroking gently until she indicates she wants more pressure and frequency. This should set off another series of contractions as you carry on stimulating the inner walls of the vagina.
The moment you feel a pause in the pulsating, move quickly back to stroking the clitoris as before. By continuing to circle the clitoris you should trigger even more contractions, which is the cue to move back to stimulating inside the vagina again. You should then move back and forth from vaginal to clitoral stimulation until the contractions are occurring every one to five seconds.
After doing this for 15 minutes, the vagina will begin to draw away less and less and the contractions should start to become continuous. When the vagina pushes out in a continual wave-like motion, you're in the final phase. Get into a position where you can use both hands to stimulate the clitoris and vagina simultaneously. The result should be wave after wave of multiple orgasms.
Now, have a rest.
Why bother?
After such a mind-blowing orgasm, your lady will feel eternally sexy and very very grateful, meaning lots of blow jobs and sex for you in return. Worth going that extra 29 minutes and 45 seconds wouldn't you say?
3 ways to guarantee all-night sex
Don’t panic
If you're having problems with longevity in the sack, forget pills or "natural" remedies, as they'll never help, says Dr Keith Hopcroft. "Also, try to keep cool about the situation. It usually improves with time, and 'performance anxiety' just makes matters worse." Try these three techniques to help you go the distance:
1. Get your squeeze to squeeze
There are a couple of practical things you can do to ensure a longer lay. Wearing a condom (or two), for example, may reduce the sensitivity enough to solve the problem, advises Hopcroft. "An alternative is to try the 'squeeze technique': a firm squeeze of your penis with finger and thumb just below the bell end when you think you're about to come will stop it happening," he says. "She, or you, can repeat this as often as necessary and, in time, you'll learn to control yourself without the squeeze." Of course, as you should make clear to her, you'll need plenty of practice.
2. More intense orgasms
Once you're lasting a respectable amount of time, for furniture-breaking orgasms your body needs further training. By delaying ejaculation and letting tension build to higher and higher peaks before the final explosion, you'll have an all-over-body sensation. You can prepare outside of the bedroom by exercising the pelvic muscles at the base of the penis. These are what you squeeze to stop urinating, but they also stave off ejaculation. Give them a workout by squeezing them in and out 15 times, twice a day. Gradually increase the frequency to 75. It can be done at a bus stop, or even during a meeting: just don't announce it.
3. Breathe easy
Also, focus on breathing. Try using a "puffing" technique, whereby you "huff" out breaths while making love until you feel your diaphragm contracting to expel air. As you feel an orgasm coming on, you'll be trained to force out each breath. The result is more tension around the abdomen, meaning a more intense orgasm. Alternatively, try the simple "ice" method. Simply wrapping ice in a cloth and applying it to your testicles before sex can intensify your orgasm. Just remember not to use the cubes in the post sex glass of water.
If you're having problems with longevity in the sack, forget pills or "natural" remedies, as they'll never help, says Dr Keith Hopcroft. "Also, try to keep cool about the situation. It usually improves with time, and 'performance anxiety' just makes matters worse." Try these three techniques to help you go the distance:
1. Get your squeeze to squeeze
There are a couple of practical things you can do to ensure a longer lay. Wearing a condom (or two), for example, may reduce the sensitivity enough to solve the problem, advises Hopcroft. "An alternative is to try the 'squeeze technique': a firm squeeze of your penis with finger and thumb just below the bell end when you think you're about to come will stop it happening," he says. "She, or you, can repeat this as often as necessary and, in time, you'll learn to control yourself without the squeeze." Of course, as you should make clear to her, you'll need plenty of practice.
2. More intense orgasms
Once you're lasting a respectable amount of time, for furniture-breaking orgasms your body needs further training. By delaying ejaculation and letting tension build to higher and higher peaks before the final explosion, you'll have an all-over-body sensation. You can prepare outside of the bedroom by exercising the pelvic muscles at the base of the penis. These are what you squeeze to stop urinating, but they also stave off ejaculation. Give them a workout by squeezing them in and out 15 times, twice a day. Gradually increase the frequency to 75. It can be done at a bus stop, or even during a meeting: just don't announce it.
3. Breathe easy
Also, focus on breathing. Try using a "puffing" technique, whereby you "huff" out breaths while making love until you feel your diaphragm contracting to expel air. As you feel an orgasm coming on, you'll be trained to force out each breath. The result is more tension around the abdomen, meaning a more intense orgasm. Alternatively, try the simple "ice" method. Simply wrapping ice in a cloth and applying it to your testicles before sex can intensify your orgasm. Just remember not to use the cubes in the post sex glass of water.
Arouse all her senses during sex
How to become a sensual sex legend
Coital calibration
When it comes to your most memorable sexual experiences, instinct is often king, with the sporadic nature of the night in question intrinsic to its magic. Meticulously planning your activities between the sheets might seem a cold flannel to passion. After all, nothing kills the mood quite like retreating from an embrace to fiddle with less receptive hot buttons: those on your clapped-out CD player. However, through just a little forethought you can create the ultimate sensual sexual experience. By calibrating conditions to overload every one of the five senses, you and her will enjoy a night like no other...
1. Smell
Smell, famously, is the most nostalgic of all the senses. For those looking to recapture the ardour of earlier days, digging out an old aftershave that might remind her of a particularly passionate night could reignite its fervour, says Paula Hall, sexual psychotherapist and author of Improving your Relationship for Dummies. Failing that, go shopping for a different kind of fragrance. "Ylang Ylang is known to have sensual properties and bergamot is good for invigoration if you're tired, while sandalwood is meant to boost your sexual energy," says Hall.
Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First, recommends a romantic start to proceedings. "Most women rate a guy's smell as being a big factor in what they find attractive – so go for a big long hug where she can nestle her nose into your body." Just make sure she doesn't fall asleep.
2. Sound
"The female brain is different than the male brain and parts need to deactivate so she can relax into arousal," says Kerner. If you put on music that's too intrusive it'll only distract her and ruin the atmosphere; this is not the time for Slayer – or hackneyed bedroom stalwarts like Barry White. "Different beats create different moods so pick something fast if you want to be lively and invigorated or something slower if you want to relax and be more sensual," says Hall. Your best bet is music that's relaxing, has no vocals, and is rhythmic without being overwhelming, says Kerner. No. Not Kenny G.
3. Touch
Just 50 years ago, the thought of bringing anything other than a stiff upper lip and firm resolve to the bedroom would reduce most men to a gibbering wreck. These days, of course, we've a bacchanalian banquet of sex toys at our disposal. But which, with so much choice, are worth your money? "My favourite is still the his ‘n' hers sensual massagers from Philips," says Hall. "They're fantastic for exploring the contours of your partner's body as you build up to the good bits." Kerner recommends the We-Vibe II – the only vibrator designed to enhance intercourse. For something a bit different, buy her the OhMiBod Vibrator. "It hooks up to any audio source and offers vibrating rhythm attuned to the playlist," explains Kerner. Again, we can't stress enough that Slayer is a bad idea.
4. Sight
"You can't beat seeing her in silk and lace underwear to stoke up the sexual furnace,” says David Waters, MH Associate Style Editor. “Agent Provocateur are masters at lacy thrills, so check out their incendiary Francoise bra and briefs.” And for a less than glossy budget? “M&S's Autograph silk bra and high leg lacy knickers will still turn up the heat to searing.”
Do bear in mind, however, that your enthusiasm for seeing her decked out in the raciest number the high street has to offer may not be reciprocated. “Thinking you look stupid doesn't make anyone feel sexy,” says Hall. “The most important thing is to make sure she feels comfortable.” If you want to soup things up with outfits, think in terms of sex types, like girl next door, or dominatrix, says Kerner. “Make suggestions or purchases that build on this.” Alternatively, shut off the sense completely to hone your remaining four. “Being blindfolded will heighten your sensory perception further,” says Hall.
5. Taste
Forget strawberries and that overtly sexually shaped fruit: it's watermelons that really get things going in the bedroom. Studies at Texas A&M University found that the fruit's high lycopene and citrulline content combine with Viagra-like effect. We humbly suggest you snaffle a slice before proceedings kick off – rather than haul one into bed and risk accidental GBH. For food that adds yet another dimension to the sensual feast, think about the shape and texture as much as taste, advises Hall: "The smoothness of a creamy vanilla desert being lavished into her mouth with a chocolate flake." Just resist the temptation to eat it all yourself.
Coital calibration
When it comes to your most memorable sexual experiences, instinct is often king, with the sporadic nature of the night in question intrinsic to its magic. Meticulously planning your activities between the sheets might seem a cold flannel to passion. After all, nothing kills the mood quite like retreating from an embrace to fiddle with less receptive hot buttons: those on your clapped-out CD player. However, through just a little forethought you can create the ultimate sensual sexual experience. By calibrating conditions to overload every one of the five senses, you and her will enjoy a night like no other...
1. Smell
Smell, famously, is the most nostalgic of all the senses. For those looking to recapture the ardour of earlier days, digging out an old aftershave that might remind her of a particularly passionate night could reignite its fervour, says Paula Hall, sexual psychotherapist and author of Improving your Relationship for Dummies. Failing that, go shopping for a different kind of fragrance. "Ylang Ylang is known to have sensual properties and bergamot is good for invigoration if you're tired, while sandalwood is meant to boost your sexual energy," says Hall.
Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First, recommends a romantic start to proceedings. "Most women rate a guy's smell as being a big factor in what they find attractive – so go for a big long hug where she can nestle her nose into your body." Just make sure she doesn't fall asleep.
2. Sound
"The female brain is different than the male brain and parts need to deactivate so she can relax into arousal," says Kerner. If you put on music that's too intrusive it'll only distract her and ruin the atmosphere; this is not the time for Slayer – or hackneyed bedroom stalwarts like Barry White. "Different beats create different moods so pick something fast if you want to be lively and invigorated or something slower if you want to relax and be more sensual," says Hall. Your best bet is music that's relaxing, has no vocals, and is rhythmic without being overwhelming, says Kerner. No. Not Kenny G.
3. Touch
Just 50 years ago, the thought of bringing anything other than a stiff upper lip and firm resolve to the bedroom would reduce most men to a gibbering wreck. These days, of course, we've a bacchanalian banquet of sex toys at our disposal. But which, with so much choice, are worth your money? "My favourite is still the his ‘n' hers sensual massagers from Philips," says Hall. "They're fantastic for exploring the contours of your partner's body as you build up to the good bits." Kerner recommends the We-Vibe II – the only vibrator designed to enhance intercourse. For something a bit different, buy her the OhMiBod Vibrator. "It hooks up to any audio source and offers vibrating rhythm attuned to the playlist," explains Kerner. Again, we can't stress enough that Slayer is a bad idea.
4. Sight
"You can't beat seeing her in silk and lace underwear to stoke up the sexual furnace,” says David Waters, MH Associate Style Editor. “Agent Provocateur are masters at lacy thrills, so check out their incendiary Francoise bra and briefs.” And for a less than glossy budget? “M&S's Autograph silk bra and high leg lacy knickers will still turn up the heat to searing.”
Do bear in mind, however, that your enthusiasm for seeing her decked out in the raciest number the high street has to offer may not be reciprocated. “Thinking you look stupid doesn't make anyone feel sexy,” says Hall. “The most important thing is to make sure she feels comfortable.” If you want to soup things up with outfits, think in terms of sex types, like girl next door, or dominatrix, says Kerner. “Make suggestions or purchases that build on this.” Alternatively, shut off the sense completely to hone your remaining four. “Being blindfolded will heighten your sensory perception further,” says Hall.
5. Taste
Forget strawberries and that overtly sexually shaped fruit: it's watermelons that really get things going in the bedroom. Studies at Texas A&M University found that the fruit's high lycopene and citrulline content combine with Viagra-like effect. We humbly suggest you snaffle a slice before proceedings kick off – rather than haul one into bed and risk accidental GBH. For food that adds yet another dimension to the sensual feast, think about the shape and texture as much as taste, advises Hall: "The smoothness of a creamy vanilla desert being lavished into her mouth with a chocolate flake." Just resist the temptation to eat it all yourself.
Five ways to increase your sex appeal
It's that certain ethereal, elusive something that makes someone (aka 'you') irresistable to someone else (aka 'her'). But sexual magnetism isn't the exclusive preserve of the Clooneys of this world. Understand how to manipulate the multi-sensory science of attraction and you can ramp up your personal sex factor with effortless sleights of sensation
Hearing
What’s in a name? Quite a lot, actually. Sex appeal begins when you introduce yourself, according to Amy Prefors, a linguist at the Massacheusetts Insitute of Technology. Her research found women prefer men’s names pronounced with a 'front vowel' – a linguistic term meaning the way 'a' is pronounced in Matt. 'Back vowel' sounds, such as the "aw" in Paul, were considered less sexy.
Use this to your advantage, without any awkward post-coital confessions, by acquiring yourself a 'front vowel' nickname. Then think about the pitch of your voice. Nottingham University’s behavioural ecology research group discovered that women tend to perceive men with deeper voices as more attractive, with the Russell Crowe timbre triggering optimum appeal.
Now you’re rumbling, start taking the Mickey. "Self-deprecating humour is a very reliable indicator to her of general intelligence, verbal creativity and moral virtues such as humility," says University of New Mexico anthropologist Gil Greengross, who conducted a two-year study into the role of humour in seduction. Sound like Crowe, talk like Grant.
Sight
If the genetic lottery didn’t give you the same pay-out as Mr Pitt, a few optical illusions will help. University of Rochester researchers found wearing a red polo shirt significantly increases women’s attraction to you. “It may be a primal thing, or a man who wears red may feel more dominant, influencing his confidence,” says study author Andrew Elliot. Either way Wayne should probably change out of his kit before heading out to avoid immersing himself in more hot water.
Next, flash a bit of cheek. A glimpse is enough, according to University of Newcastle research. “Just by looking at men’s cheeks, women make the necessary genetic discriminations to find the right mate,” says study author Professor Morris Gosling. And men with the healthiest complexions scored highest. Stay hydrated by applying StriVectin-SD (£107 for 5fl oz, salonskincare.co.uk).
But beauty is more than skin deep. “Studies confirm women have strong preferences for taut bodies and broad shoulders,” says Martie Haselton, psychology professor at the University of Texas. Suddenly feel like going to the gym? We’ll see you there.
Taste
Started with a kiss? Doing so releases mood-lifting endorphins, whilst your saliva plays a key role in attraction, according to Vaughn Bryant, professor of anthropology at Texas A&M University. “The first kiss lets her check out the chemical messengers that signal sexual attraction,” he explains. To give your genetic code the best chance to work its magic, “keep your kisses soft, sensual, firm and not too wet,” says Dr Laura Berman, assistant clinical professor of gynecology and psychiatry at the Northwestern University, Chicago.
Then there’s the more abstract take on taste – her subconscious reliance on other women’s taste in men. A study from the University of Louisville showed women preferred men who were with or around other women. And you can max this pre-approval effect by ensuring you’re very nice to them – psychologists at Aberdeen University found women are more likely to think a man is good-looking if they see other women smiling at him. Keep them happy now, and you’ll be grinning later.
Smell
The shortcut to a woman’s heart is through her nose. Research at the Monell Chemical Sense Centre found a woman’s ability to detect and distinguish between scents is 1,000 times better than yours. Plus, her processing hardware for smell and emotions are located in the same neural network of her brain. That means the right scents are sex-appeal superchargers. Research at Chicago’s Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation found the most effective evoke childhood memories or favourite foods, specifically cucumber, baby powder and lavender which all cause an increase in vaginal blood flow.
There’s something deeper at work, too. University of Newcastle researchers discovered women are attracted to the smell of men with different ‘histocompatibility’ complexes – a collection of genes related to the immune system. As a rule of thumb, the further apart your backgrounds, the more compatible your ‘histo’ and you can capitalise by reaching to advertise the fact. Tests carried out at the University of Northumbria showed women found men more attractive when exposed to the chemicals in their armpits – nice.
And if after all that, your pheromones don’t gel? University of Toronto scientists found they were able to genetically tweak fruit flies to cancel out a particular pheromone, making them irresistible. Look out for Lynx Double Helix...
Touch
A delicate, precise touch can take your appeal to the next level, but don’t go early. Filling her personal space too soon is a major turn-off, warns anthropologist Kate Fox from Oxford’s Social Issues Research Centre.
If you’re talking for the first time and you’re close enough to whisper, you’re too close. “That’s her intimate zone, less than 18 inches from her, which is reserved for lovers, family and close friends,” says Fox. “This doesn’t mean ‘don’t touch’, but avoid touches which may seem threatening. Experiments have shown a light, brief brush on the arm during an initial encounter has immediate, lasting positive effects.”
Keeping your touch light is key. Swedish researchers at the Department of Clinical Neurophysiology at Sahlgrenska University discovered a complex second nerve network beneath the skin – known as CT Fibres – which are different in structure from her main touch receptors and stimulated by soft sensations. Because of this, their MRI scans of women’s brains showed soft touch activates the part of the brain associated with emotional response. “Stimulation of CT fibres is probably linked to the release of pleasure hormones, like oxytocin,” explains study author Hakan Olausson. Women really do love a softie.
Hearing
What’s in a name? Quite a lot, actually. Sex appeal begins when you introduce yourself, according to Amy Prefors, a linguist at the Massacheusetts Insitute of Technology. Her research found women prefer men’s names pronounced with a 'front vowel' – a linguistic term meaning the way 'a' is pronounced in Matt. 'Back vowel' sounds, such as the "aw" in Paul, were considered less sexy.
Use this to your advantage, without any awkward post-coital confessions, by acquiring yourself a 'front vowel' nickname. Then think about the pitch of your voice. Nottingham University’s behavioural ecology research group discovered that women tend to perceive men with deeper voices as more attractive, with the Russell Crowe timbre triggering optimum appeal.
Now you’re rumbling, start taking the Mickey. "Self-deprecating humour is a very reliable indicator to her of general intelligence, verbal creativity and moral virtues such as humility," says University of New Mexico anthropologist Gil Greengross, who conducted a two-year study into the role of humour in seduction. Sound like Crowe, talk like Grant.
Sight
If the genetic lottery didn’t give you the same pay-out as Mr Pitt, a few optical illusions will help. University of Rochester researchers found wearing a red polo shirt significantly increases women’s attraction to you. “It may be a primal thing, or a man who wears red may feel more dominant, influencing his confidence,” says study author Andrew Elliot. Either way Wayne should probably change out of his kit before heading out to avoid immersing himself in more hot water.
Next, flash a bit of cheek. A glimpse is enough, according to University of Newcastle research. “Just by looking at men’s cheeks, women make the necessary genetic discriminations to find the right mate,” says study author Professor Morris Gosling. And men with the healthiest complexions scored highest. Stay hydrated by applying StriVectin-SD (£107 for 5fl oz, salonskincare.co.uk).
But beauty is more than skin deep. “Studies confirm women have strong preferences for taut bodies and broad shoulders,” says Martie Haselton, psychology professor at the University of Texas. Suddenly feel like going to the gym? We’ll see you there.
Taste
Started with a kiss? Doing so releases mood-lifting endorphins, whilst your saliva plays a key role in attraction, according to Vaughn Bryant, professor of anthropology at Texas A&M University. “The first kiss lets her check out the chemical messengers that signal sexual attraction,” he explains. To give your genetic code the best chance to work its magic, “keep your kisses soft, sensual, firm and not too wet,” says Dr Laura Berman, assistant clinical professor of gynecology and psychiatry at the Northwestern University, Chicago.
Then there’s the more abstract take on taste – her subconscious reliance on other women’s taste in men. A study from the University of Louisville showed women preferred men who were with or around other women. And you can max this pre-approval effect by ensuring you’re very nice to them – psychologists at Aberdeen University found women are more likely to think a man is good-looking if they see other women smiling at him. Keep them happy now, and you’ll be grinning later.
Smell
The shortcut to a woman’s heart is through her nose. Research at the Monell Chemical Sense Centre found a woman’s ability to detect and distinguish between scents is 1,000 times better than yours. Plus, her processing hardware for smell and emotions are located in the same neural network of her brain. That means the right scents are sex-appeal superchargers. Research at Chicago’s Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation found the most effective evoke childhood memories or favourite foods, specifically cucumber, baby powder and lavender which all cause an increase in vaginal blood flow.
There’s something deeper at work, too. University of Newcastle researchers discovered women are attracted to the smell of men with different ‘histocompatibility’ complexes – a collection of genes related to the immune system. As a rule of thumb, the further apart your backgrounds, the more compatible your ‘histo’ and you can capitalise by reaching to advertise the fact. Tests carried out at the University of Northumbria showed women found men more attractive when exposed to the chemicals in their armpits – nice.
And if after all that, your pheromones don’t gel? University of Toronto scientists found they were able to genetically tweak fruit flies to cancel out a particular pheromone, making them irresistible. Look out for Lynx Double Helix...
Touch
A delicate, precise touch can take your appeal to the next level, but don’t go early. Filling her personal space too soon is a major turn-off, warns anthropologist Kate Fox from Oxford’s Social Issues Research Centre.
If you’re talking for the first time and you’re close enough to whisper, you’re too close. “That’s her intimate zone, less than 18 inches from her, which is reserved for lovers, family and close friends,” says Fox. “This doesn’t mean ‘don’t touch’, but avoid touches which may seem threatening. Experiments have shown a light, brief brush on the arm during an initial encounter has immediate, lasting positive effects.”
Keeping your touch light is key. Swedish researchers at the Department of Clinical Neurophysiology at Sahlgrenska University discovered a complex second nerve network beneath the skin – known as CT Fibres – which are different in structure from her main touch receptors and stimulated by soft sensations. Because of this, their MRI scans of women’s brains showed soft touch activates the part of the brain associated with emotional response. “Stimulation of CT fibres is probably linked to the release of pleasure hormones, like oxytocin,” explains study author Hakan Olausson. Women really do love a softie.
Give great oral
Oral sex – get it licked!
Oral sex
Sex and relationships expert Dr Pam Spurr has just written her new book Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks And Techniques (J R Books £7.99).
It's packed with tips from the very sensual to the raunchy and here she selects some of the simplest oral sex tips - get ready to blow her mind.
Tongue swirling
Here's a little tip for some sexy tongue action! The tongue is a muscle like any other and needs to be worked out regularly. Occasionally you should simply swirl it around in your mouth, flick it and lap with it to keep it in tip-top shape for giving amazing oral sex.
Before you use this technique on her try swirling your tongue across one of your knuckles. Even on your masculine hand you'll feel how wonderful the swirling action is, going around and around on your knuckle.
Do this little action around her clitoral hood and if she likes it on her clitoris directly – she'll be in absolute heaven. Many men simply lap at the clitoris but if you perfect the swirling technique she'll thank you for it. You could also build up to doing a little "figure of 8" – a double swirl with your tongue, but that takes some practice. So use your knuckle!
Worship at her altar
This is a wonderful tip to try if you’re not shy around each other. However she needs to be fairly confident about her body, and about you, to enjoy this. If she's not, you definitely need subtle lighting to make her feel more body confident. Also, it may be a good idea to suggest doing this when she still has her knickers or a sexy nightdress on so she doesn't feel completely exposed.
At any point in your sex-play you can ask her to stand on the floor. Obviously you want to do this on a carpeted floor for your own comfort. Kneel between her parted legs and give her oral sex from this position. She'll feel incredibly dominant if she's wearing high heels and little else! You can hold onto her buttocks so that you can get the right pressure on her clitoris and vagina. Ask her to hold the back of your head as she stands above you to help guide you with the right pressure. Then enjoy worshipping at her altar!
Intimate grooming
Want to know what will really seem thoughtful to her and build intimacy and trust with her? Try this technique: ask her if you can groom her intimately. The first time you offer to do this should be when you're both feeling affectionate and maybe even a bit turned on. Keep things simple and suggest gently combing or brushing her pubic hair as she lies back. She's probably never had this offer before!
This is an amazing thing to do before giving oral sex as it gets rid of any stray pubic hairs that get caught in your teeth or in the back of your throat – not sexy in the slightest! As you groom her touch her in a sensual way and even compliment her, women are so paranoid about the way they look.
Loving the pearl
This technique is only to be used when she's really turned on. It'd be too much to try in the first few minutes of giving her oral pleasure. As a woman gets more aroused she usually becomes less sensitive than at the start of arousal. This technique is also fantastic for women who like direct clitoral stimulation.
In Loving the Pearl you can either pull her clitoral hood upwards exposing her clitoris more, or not; whatever her preference is. Now take your thumb and index finger and rest them either side of her clitoris. They should be highly lubricated with your saliva or lubricant.
Use small twisting, or back and forth motions, with these two fingers. Gently rub her clitoris between your thumb and index finger with these little motions. As you gradually build the pace ask her how it's feeling. She may want a quicker pace or she may want you to vary your touch from firmer to gentler. When you do it correctly, just as she wants it, this is like releasing the genie from the magic lamp that you've been rubbing!
Come on over
Here's a simple trick to give her the best of both worlds while you're giving her oral. It combines using your finger and tongue for double the pleasure. If you're lying or kneeling between her legs begin by simply licking and kissing her. As she gets more turned on introduce your fingertips to your sex-play. Stroke her labia gently as you continue your oral techniques.
Once she's really turned on, slowly slide your index or middle finger into her vagina. You can now begin to stimulate the inside of her vagina with your finger while tickling her clitoris with your tongue. To do this simple trick simply stroke this general area as if you're using your index finger to signal someone to "come on over". Do so gently as you continue giving her oral pleasure.
Nose nuzzling
There's hardly anything raunchier or simpler than this little tip when it comes to oral sex. This shows your down-and-dirty side that she's going to love. When you go to give her oral pleasure using whatever technique she enjoys, pause and start nuzzling her labia and clitoris with your nose. Move the tip of your nose in little circles around her clitoris. Then move it up and down between her moist labia. Then go back to licking and kissing her for a while.
You can then restart the nuzzling and tease her with this incredibly erotic sensation. You can quite literally take her breath away by using this intimate technique.
Oral sex
Sex and relationships expert Dr Pam Spurr has just written her new book Sizzling Sex - The Sex Doctor's 250 Hottest Tips, Tricks And Techniques (J R Books £7.99).
It's packed with tips from the very sensual to the raunchy and here she selects some of the simplest oral sex tips - get ready to blow her mind.
Tongue swirling
Here's a little tip for some sexy tongue action! The tongue is a muscle like any other and needs to be worked out regularly. Occasionally you should simply swirl it around in your mouth, flick it and lap with it to keep it in tip-top shape for giving amazing oral sex.
Before you use this technique on her try swirling your tongue across one of your knuckles. Even on your masculine hand you'll feel how wonderful the swirling action is, going around and around on your knuckle.
Do this little action around her clitoral hood and if she likes it on her clitoris directly – she'll be in absolute heaven. Many men simply lap at the clitoris but if you perfect the swirling technique she'll thank you for it. You could also build up to doing a little "figure of 8" – a double swirl with your tongue, but that takes some practice. So use your knuckle!
Worship at her altar
This is a wonderful tip to try if you’re not shy around each other. However she needs to be fairly confident about her body, and about you, to enjoy this. If she's not, you definitely need subtle lighting to make her feel more body confident. Also, it may be a good idea to suggest doing this when she still has her knickers or a sexy nightdress on so she doesn't feel completely exposed.
At any point in your sex-play you can ask her to stand on the floor. Obviously you want to do this on a carpeted floor for your own comfort. Kneel between her parted legs and give her oral sex from this position. She'll feel incredibly dominant if she's wearing high heels and little else! You can hold onto her buttocks so that you can get the right pressure on her clitoris and vagina. Ask her to hold the back of your head as she stands above you to help guide you with the right pressure. Then enjoy worshipping at her altar!
Intimate grooming
Want to know what will really seem thoughtful to her and build intimacy and trust with her? Try this technique: ask her if you can groom her intimately. The first time you offer to do this should be when you're both feeling affectionate and maybe even a bit turned on. Keep things simple and suggest gently combing or brushing her pubic hair as she lies back. She's probably never had this offer before!
This is an amazing thing to do before giving oral sex as it gets rid of any stray pubic hairs that get caught in your teeth or in the back of your throat – not sexy in the slightest! As you groom her touch her in a sensual way and even compliment her, women are so paranoid about the way they look.
Loving the pearl
This technique is only to be used when she's really turned on. It'd be too much to try in the first few minutes of giving her oral pleasure. As a woman gets more aroused she usually becomes less sensitive than at the start of arousal. This technique is also fantastic for women who like direct clitoral stimulation.
In Loving the Pearl you can either pull her clitoral hood upwards exposing her clitoris more, or not; whatever her preference is. Now take your thumb and index finger and rest them either side of her clitoris. They should be highly lubricated with your saliva or lubricant.
Use small twisting, or back and forth motions, with these two fingers. Gently rub her clitoris between your thumb and index finger with these little motions. As you gradually build the pace ask her how it's feeling. She may want a quicker pace or she may want you to vary your touch from firmer to gentler. When you do it correctly, just as she wants it, this is like releasing the genie from the magic lamp that you've been rubbing!
Come on over
Here's a simple trick to give her the best of both worlds while you're giving her oral. It combines using your finger and tongue for double the pleasure. If you're lying or kneeling between her legs begin by simply licking and kissing her. As she gets more turned on introduce your fingertips to your sex-play. Stroke her labia gently as you continue your oral techniques.
Once she's really turned on, slowly slide your index or middle finger into her vagina. You can now begin to stimulate the inside of her vagina with your finger while tickling her clitoris with your tongue. To do this simple trick simply stroke this general area as if you're using your index finger to signal someone to "come on over". Do so gently as you continue giving her oral pleasure.
Nose nuzzling
There's hardly anything raunchier or simpler than this little tip when it comes to oral sex. This shows your down-and-dirty side that she's going to love. When you go to give her oral pleasure using whatever technique she enjoys, pause and start nuzzling her labia and clitoris with your nose. Move the tip of your nose in little circles around her clitoris. Then move it up and down between her moist labia. Then go back to licking and kissing her for a while.
You can then restart the nuzzling and tease her with this incredibly erotic sensation. You can quite literally take her breath away by using this intimate technique.
MH's 20 greatest sex tips
These tips on nutrition, lifestyle and technique will push your sexual adventures further than ever before
Nutrition
1. Watermelon is a natural Viagra. A 110g serving contains roughly 150mg of citrulline which will increase the duration of intercourse by 3.8 minutes. Five a day just got a lot more interesting. (Source: Texas A&M University)
2. Cheese contains 10 times more arousing phenylethylamine (PEA) than chocolate. Make it more sexy and less Dairylea, with a fondue set. (Source: sex author Siski Green)
3. That skinful last night makes sex even better than a bacon sarnie. The alcohol in your blood widens blood vessels and keeps blow flowing to the penis. (Source: Indiana University)
4. Make your morning-after even better than the night before – with salmon. It’s high in arginine, which prolongs arousal. Serve it on top of scrambled egg on toast. (Source: British Nutrition Foundation)
5. Finish off a meal with some apple pie. The US scent arouses our British roses, increasing her genital sensitivity by up to 24%. (Source: Chicago Smell and Taste Research Foundation)
6. Increase your sperm count by up to 74% by regularly eating a range of zinc-rich foods, such as beef, pecans and pine nuts. (Source: Journal of Fertility and Sterility)
Lifestyle
7. The thrill really is in the chase. Running 3.5 hours per week boosts sex drive by 75%. (Source: Kinsey Institute)
8. Squeeze in some press-ups and sit-ups. Muscular men have an average four more sexual partners than their less muscle-bound bros. (Source: University of California)
9. Get a few extra winks. Sleeping for longer allows the body to produce more testosterone, which increases your sex drive. (Source: Journal of Applied Psychology)
10. Do it on the sofa once in a while. Novelty produces more dopamine, giving a stronger orgasm. Unless your flatmates are in of course. (Source: University of Kentucky)
11. Stress destroys your sex drive. Counter this and increase blood flow to your penis by taking a bath at 38°C – invite her in, too. (Source: Holistic Medical Clinic)
12. Coffee table literature. She’s visually titillated by the same sights as you – make sure it’s high-brow erotic: think Taschen not Razzle. (Source: Northwestern University)
13. Find a birthday girl celebrating all the threes. This is the age where a woman reaches her sexual zenith thanks to peaking libido and experience. (Source: Kinsey Institute)
Technique
14. Kivin method: put two fingers either side of the clitoris, sweeping your tongue back and forth while applying pressure to her perineum. (Source: sex therapist Dr Patti Britton)
15. Massage oil with primrose oil and vitamins C and E will increase her sexual desire and the frequency of orgasms. (Source: Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy)
16. Gentle biting brings blood to the skin’s surface making you more sensitive to touch, meaning you both come more quickly. (Source: sex author Siski Green)
17. For better orgasms, have sex doggy style. The intensity is 18% stronger in this position as it directly stimulates the frenulum. (Source: Kinsey Institute)
18. The Coital Alignment Technique allows simultaneous orgasms. Lift yourself up so the base of your penis makes contact with her clitoris. (Source: Dr Pam Spurr)
19. 6 out of 10 women are keen to try something new but are afraid to speak up. If she’s looking into your eyes she wants you to take control. (Source: Dr Yvonne Fulbright)
20. Massage after sex maintains the flow of the feel-good hormone oxytocin so she’ll orgasm easier the second (and third, and fourth...) time around. (Source: Journal of Sexual Medicine)
Nutrition
1. Watermelon is a natural Viagra. A 110g serving contains roughly 150mg of citrulline which will increase the duration of intercourse by 3.8 minutes. Five a day just got a lot more interesting. (Source: Texas A&M University)
2. Cheese contains 10 times more arousing phenylethylamine (PEA) than chocolate. Make it more sexy and less Dairylea, with a fondue set. (Source: sex author Siski Green)
3. That skinful last night makes sex even better than a bacon sarnie. The alcohol in your blood widens blood vessels and keeps blow flowing to the penis. (Source: Indiana University)
4. Make your morning-after even better than the night before – with salmon. It’s high in arginine, which prolongs arousal. Serve it on top of scrambled egg on toast. (Source: British Nutrition Foundation)
5. Finish off a meal with some apple pie. The US scent arouses our British roses, increasing her genital sensitivity by up to 24%. (Source: Chicago Smell and Taste Research Foundation)
6. Increase your sperm count by up to 74% by regularly eating a range of zinc-rich foods, such as beef, pecans and pine nuts. (Source: Journal of Fertility and Sterility)
Lifestyle
7. The thrill really is in the chase. Running 3.5 hours per week boosts sex drive by 75%. (Source: Kinsey Institute)
8. Squeeze in some press-ups and sit-ups. Muscular men have an average four more sexual partners than their less muscle-bound bros. (Source: University of California)
9. Get a few extra winks. Sleeping for longer allows the body to produce more testosterone, which increases your sex drive. (Source: Journal of Applied Psychology)
10. Do it on the sofa once in a while. Novelty produces more dopamine, giving a stronger orgasm. Unless your flatmates are in of course. (Source: University of Kentucky)
11. Stress destroys your sex drive. Counter this and increase blood flow to your penis by taking a bath at 38°C – invite her in, too. (Source: Holistic Medical Clinic)
12. Coffee table literature. She’s visually titillated by the same sights as you – make sure it’s high-brow erotic: think Taschen not Razzle. (Source: Northwestern University)
13. Find a birthday girl celebrating all the threes. This is the age where a woman reaches her sexual zenith thanks to peaking libido and experience. (Source: Kinsey Institute)
Technique
14. Kivin method: put two fingers either side of the clitoris, sweeping your tongue back and forth while applying pressure to her perineum. (Source: sex therapist Dr Patti Britton)
15. Massage oil with primrose oil and vitamins C and E will increase her sexual desire and the frequency of orgasms. (Source: Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy)
16. Gentle biting brings blood to the skin’s surface making you more sensitive to touch, meaning you both come more quickly. (Source: sex author Siski Green)
17. For better orgasms, have sex doggy style. The intensity is 18% stronger in this position as it directly stimulates the frenulum. (Source: Kinsey Institute)
18. The Coital Alignment Technique allows simultaneous orgasms. Lift yourself up so the base of your penis makes contact with her clitoris. (Source: Dr Pam Spurr)
19. 6 out of 10 women are keen to try something new but are afraid to speak up. If she’s looking into your eyes she wants you to take control. (Source: Dr Yvonne Fulbright)
20. Massage after sex maintains the flow of the feel-good hormone oxytocin so she’ll orgasm easier the second (and third, and fourth...) time around. (Source: Journal of Sexual Medicine)
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