Fantastic first-time sex

Tips and tricks to make that first night unforgettable


Make her wait
Even if the chemistry is overpowering, it's worth holding out a while before taking things to the bedroom. "As a rule of thumb, advertise the goods on a first date: be courteous, polite and don't get drunk, and when you take her home, make that five-second kiss below her ear very interesting," says Phillip Hodson, fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and author of How Perfect is Your Partner? 50 ways to get to know your lover. Delaying the first time you get down to it will make her realise you're not just attracted to her looks. What's more, the erotic tension built up by resisting ripping each others' clothes off should lead to a mind-blowing first romp.

Learn your lines
It's important, however, not to leave her feeling rejected. "If she says, ‘Would you like to come in?' a great line is, ‘Yes, I would, but I'm not going to'," says Hodson. But don't leave it too long. "If you haven't touched her by the 15th date, by that time she'll be wondering what the hell is wrong with her." You should probably start wondering what the hell is wrong with you, too.

Soothe her anxieties
When it comes to your first time together, it's likely she'll be feeling pretty nervous. "Everyone has hang-ups about their body," says Hodson. "It's important you make her feel at ease with her imperfections." A sense of humour is key. "If she says she hasn't shaved her legs for ages, tell her you love hairy legs. It's very important to laugh - especially if things go wrong." As for positions, don't make any plans: you should go for what comes naturally and spontaneously for you both, advises Vicki Ford, author of Overcoming Sexual Problems. "Once you have established you are right for each other, the fun can really start as you experiment and talk about what you would like to do together." The first session, though, is definitely not the time to confess a penchant for golden showers.

Things can only get better
When the fun is over, don't panic if you've not quite been on top form. "Sex for the first time is often fairly unimpressive for both sides," says Hodson. "It takes time to get to know each other's hotspots." Practice, you'll want to remind her, makes perfect. So why not hop in the shower and have another go?