Arouse all her senses during sex

How to become a sensual sex legend


Coital calibration
When it comes to your most memorable sexual experiences, instinct is often king, with the sporadic nature of the night in question intrinsic to its magic. Meticulously planning your activities between the sheets might seem a cold flannel to passion. After all, nothing kills the mood quite like retreating from an embrace to fiddle with less receptive hot buttons: those on your clapped-out CD player. However, through just a little forethought you can create the ultimate sensual sexual experience. By calibrating conditions to overload every one of the five senses, you and her will enjoy a night like no other...

1. Smell
Smell, famously, is the most nostalgic of all the senses. For those looking to recapture the ardour of earlier days, digging out an old aftershave that might remind her of a particularly passionate night could reignite its fervour, says Paula Hall, sexual psychotherapist and author of Improving your Relationship for Dummies. Failing that, go shopping for a different kind of fragrance. "Ylang Ylang is known to have sensual properties and bergamot is good for invigoration if you're tired, while sandalwood is meant to boost your sexual energy," says Hall.

Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First, recommends a romantic start to proceedings. "Most women rate a guy's smell as being a big factor in what they find attractive – so go for a big long hug where she can nestle her nose into your body." Just make sure she doesn't fall asleep.

2. Sound
"The female brain is different than the male brain and parts need to deactivate so she can relax into arousal," says Kerner. If you put on music that's too intrusive it'll only distract her and ruin the atmosphere; this is not the time for Slayer – or hackneyed bedroom stalwarts like Barry White. "Different beats create different moods so pick something fast if you want to be lively and invigorated or something slower if you want to relax and be more sensual," says Hall. Your best bet is music that's relaxing, has no vocals, and is rhythmic without being overwhelming, says Kerner. No. Not Kenny G.

3. Touch
Just 50 years ago, the thought of bringing anything other than a stiff upper lip and firm resolve to the bedroom would reduce most men to a gibbering wreck. These days, of course, we've a bacchanalian banquet of sex toys at our disposal. But which, with so much choice, are worth your money? "My favourite is still the his ‘n' hers sensual massagers from Philips," says Hall. "They're fantastic for exploring the contours of your partner's body as you build up to the good bits." Kerner recommends the We-Vibe II – the only vibrator designed to enhance intercourse. For something a bit different, buy her the OhMiBod Vibrator. "It hooks up to any audio source and offers vibrating rhythm attuned to the playlist," explains Kerner. Again, we can't stress enough that Slayer is a bad idea.

4. Sight
"You can't beat seeing her in silk and lace underwear to stoke up the sexual furnace,” says David Waters, MH Associate Style Editor. “Agent Provocateur are masters at lacy thrills, so check out their incendiary Francoise bra and briefs.” And for a less than glossy budget? “M&S's Autograph silk bra and high leg lacy knickers will still turn up the heat to searing.”

Do bear in mind, however, that your enthusiasm for seeing her decked out in the raciest number the high street has to offer may not be reciprocated. “Thinking you look stupid doesn't make anyone feel sexy,” says Hall. “The most important thing is to make sure she feels comfortable.” If you want to soup things up with outfits, think in terms of sex types, like girl next door, or dominatrix, says Kerner. “Make suggestions or purchases that build on this.” Alternatively, shut off the sense completely to hone your remaining four. “Being blindfolded will heighten your sensory perception further,” says Hall.

5. Taste
Forget strawberries and that overtly sexually shaped fruit: it's watermelons that really get things going in the bedroom. Studies at Texas A&M University found that the fruit's high lycopene and citrulline content combine with Viagra-like effect. We humbly suggest you snaffle a slice before proceedings kick off – rather than haul one into bed and risk accidental GBH. For food that adds yet another dimension to the sensual feast, think about the shape and texture as much as taste, advises Hall: "The smoothness of a creamy vanilla desert being lavished into her mouth with a chocolate flake." Just resist the temptation to eat it all yourself.