Penn State researchers has found that having sex for the first time can improve or degrade your self-image depending on whether you are male or female.
On average, college-age males become more satisfied with their appearance after first intercourse, whereas college-age females become slightly less satisfied.
"We're not talking about 12-year-old girls having sex, so it's striking that even among these young women -- who are 17 or older when they first had sex -- their images of themselves went down," said Eva S. Lefkowitz, associate professor of human development and family studies.
"If on average they're feeling worse about themselves, it says something about their development of healthy sexuality and healthy sense of self and being."
Overall the researchers found that women became happier with their physical appearance from first to fourth year in college, and men became less satisfied with their appearance over the same time period.
However, the researchers found the opposite directly after students had sex for the first time -- males were more satisfied with their appearance and females were less satisfied.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
All about reaching an orgasm
Unhappy with your sex life? Don't feel dejected. It's time to add some zing to your sex romps, courtesy our seven point guide to the Big O.
1. Be comfortable : While experimentation is all important, do not try positions that you are physically uncomfortable in. What works for you, might not work for someone else, so remember the key to good sex is finding a hot spot that works for you and your partner. Experiment with positions that give you more leverage to hit the right spots. And feel maximum pleasure. Communicate what position you feel best in to your better half as that will give you better access to their moan zones.
2. Feel the vibrations : A lot of us may not believe this, but using a vibrator during sex can lend immense pleasure to both partners and if time is of the essence, there's nothing more efficient than this sex machine. Just ensure you're giving your man extra TLC, so that he doesn't feel left out or that he's not needed in the act.
3. Fantasy unlimited : Using your imagination during the act goes a long way if you're not really feeling all that excited. Fantasies are very powerful and act as a potent sexual stimulus, so use it to enhance the physical sensations that are happening and soon you'll be in seventh heaven.
4. Curb distractions : While having sex, cut out all distractions - be it keeping your eye on an ongoing football match or on the clock or checking your phone or laptop for mails and messages. Be committed to the act of sex like it's a job you are on because getting distracted will only deter your performance.
5. Don't think of the end result : Sometimes, the harder you try, the harder it becomes to feel pleasure. If all you are focussed on is getting an orgasm, chances are that it will be more difficult to attain. Don't make your climax the sole objective. Enjoy the sensations, the smell, the foreplay, the caressing and the words. As someone said - 'it's a journey, not a destination.'
6. Indulge in porn : Magazines, DVDs, internet porn; there's no harm using external stimulation to get a sexual high. Watching other people having sex is an incredible turn on and can speed your sex session well. Just remove the porn DVD from your disc drive before that an important presentation at work or if you have kids at home to avoid embarrassment.
7. Talk the talk : Gone are the days when sex was supposed to be a silent process. Talk freely to your beau about what turns you on, your hot spots and the ways in which you feel pleasured the most and it's likely that you will discover a new meaning to a routine sex ritual. Also, during sex don't be afraid to moan aloud or call aloud your lover's name. It may just act as an added turn on!
1. Be comfortable : While experimentation is all important, do not try positions that you are physically uncomfortable in. What works for you, might not work for someone else, so remember the key to good sex is finding a hot spot that works for you and your partner. Experiment with positions that give you more leverage to hit the right spots. And feel maximum pleasure. Communicate what position you feel best in to your better half as that will give you better access to their moan zones.
2. Feel the vibrations : A lot of us may not believe this, but using a vibrator during sex can lend immense pleasure to both partners and if time is of the essence, there's nothing more efficient than this sex machine. Just ensure you're giving your man extra TLC, so that he doesn't feel left out or that he's not needed in the act.
3. Fantasy unlimited : Using your imagination during the act goes a long way if you're not really feeling all that excited. Fantasies are very powerful and act as a potent sexual stimulus, so use it to enhance the physical sensations that are happening and soon you'll be in seventh heaven.
4. Curb distractions : While having sex, cut out all distractions - be it keeping your eye on an ongoing football match or on the clock or checking your phone or laptop for mails and messages. Be committed to the act of sex like it's a job you are on because getting distracted will only deter your performance.
5. Don't think of the end result : Sometimes, the harder you try, the harder it becomes to feel pleasure. If all you are focussed on is getting an orgasm, chances are that it will be more difficult to attain. Don't make your climax the sole objective. Enjoy the sensations, the smell, the foreplay, the caressing and the words. As someone said - 'it's a journey, not a destination.'
6. Indulge in porn : Magazines, DVDs, internet porn; there's no harm using external stimulation to get a sexual high. Watching other people having sex is an incredible turn on and can speed your sex session well. Just remove the porn DVD from your disc drive before that an important presentation at work or if you have kids at home to avoid embarrassment.
7. Talk the talk : Gone are the days when sex was supposed to be a silent process. Talk freely to your beau about what turns you on, your hot spots and the ways in which you feel pleasured the most and it's likely that you will discover a new meaning to a routine sex ritual. Also, during sex don't be afraid to moan aloud or call aloud your lover's name. It may just act as an added turn on!
Men like wet kisses, and women long!
Men like to push to make kisses sloppier, while women want to keep them long, suggest a new study.
Also, a kiss shared between a man and a woman seems more like a clash of spirits than a meeting of souls.
"Women tend to use kissing to create a bond with their partners, and to assess them as potential mates. Meanwhile, men use kissing as a means to an end," said Susan Hughes, a psychologist at Albright College in Pennsylvania, told Life's Little Mysteries.
And that end is sex.
"Males are kissing primarily to increase arousal for their partner," she said.
Hughes and her colleagues researchers probed the kissing preferences and opinions of more than 1,000 males and females in their sexual prime — college undergraduates — who were asked to mark their answers to a series of detailed kissing questions on a 5-point scale.
The results showed that both men and women consider kissing an important and highly intimate interaction. Both sexes use kissing to gauge the relationship compatibility of themselves and their partners.
Furthermore, both may become more or less attracted to their partners based solely on their experience kissing them, a result that lends support to the theory that pheromones and other important biochemical signals get exchanged when people kiss.
But the similarities end there. While women usually consider a bad kiss to be a deal-breaker, men reported that they would more than likely still have sex with a woman even if she were a bad kisser.
In fact, the data showed that males feel much more strongly that kissing should lead to sex than females do.
"Whereas females felt there was a greater likelihood that kissing should lead to sex with a long-term partner than a short-term partner, males felt that in either instance, kissing should lead to sex," wrote the researchers.
Men also like significantly wetter kisses. The gender divide becomes drastic when the kissing involves short-term partners, who presumably hold primarily sexual rather than romantic appeal. In the short-term, men like kisses to be wet, while women do not.
Psychologists hypothesize that males "perceive a greater wetness or salivary exchange during kissing as an index of the female's sexual arousal/receptivity, similar to the act of sexual intercourse," wrote Hughes.
Follow-up research conducted by Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University, in 2009 even found that men pass testosterone to women via their saliva, which may momentarily increase the women's sex drive.
Also, a kiss shared between a man and a woman seems more like a clash of spirits than a meeting of souls.
"Women tend to use kissing to create a bond with their partners, and to assess them as potential mates. Meanwhile, men use kissing as a means to an end," said Susan Hughes, a psychologist at Albright College in Pennsylvania, told Life's Little Mysteries.
And that end is sex.
"Males are kissing primarily to increase arousal for their partner," she said.
Hughes and her colleagues researchers probed the kissing preferences and opinions of more than 1,000 males and females in their sexual prime — college undergraduates — who were asked to mark their answers to a series of detailed kissing questions on a 5-point scale.
The results showed that both men and women consider kissing an important and highly intimate interaction. Both sexes use kissing to gauge the relationship compatibility of themselves and their partners.
Furthermore, both may become more or less attracted to their partners based solely on their experience kissing them, a result that lends support to the theory that pheromones and other important biochemical signals get exchanged when people kiss.
But the similarities end there. While women usually consider a bad kiss to be a deal-breaker, men reported that they would more than likely still have sex with a woman even if she were a bad kisser.
In fact, the data showed that males feel much more strongly that kissing should lead to sex than females do.
"Whereas females felt there was a greater likelihood that kissing should lead to sex with a long-term partner than a short-term partner, males felt that in either instance, kissing should lead to sex," wrote the researchers.
Men also like significantly wetter kisses. The gender divide becomes drastic when the kissing involves short-term partners, who presumably hold primarily sexual rather than romantic appeal. In the short-term, men like kisses to be wet, while women do not.
Psychologists hypothesize that males "perceive a greater wetness or salivary exchange during kissing as an index of the female's sexual arousal/receptivity, similar to the act of sexual intercourse," wrote Hughes.
Follow-up research conducted by Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University, in 2009 even found that men pass testosterone to women via their saliva, which may momentarily increase the women's sex drive.
10 Tips to get your man wild in bed
Men rarely divulge their secret desires to the women in their lives and though everyone has different needs and desires there are some moves and attitudes that most men want. Read on to find out what they are and then give him the time of his life!
Give some subtle suggestions
For men (even though he's known you for a while now) a woman's libidinous longings are not always easy to decipher. If you drop some hints about what all you want and guide him along, he will love you for it.
Trust us, the man who really loves you would love to please you in every way possible. So, talk to him and tell him if he's doing just what you wanted or if you want him to continue with something a little longer.
Bowl him over with a wild move
Do something unexpected and wild when you both are at it. Something erotic that he will not be able to forget soon. Make your session stand out by coming up with signature moves. Work on pleasuring him in different ways.
Offer the spice of variety
Change in speed, positions and pressure can really make the entire experience very different. Whether it is the foreplay or the actual act, if there is variety he will never really know what to expect and therefore it will help a great deal in revving up his senses.
Turn it on yourself
Since women take time to get turned on, men love women who can take that responsibility off them so that he can actually get to work. Though your man may love to do all that he needs to in order to get you aroused but he would definitely like it if you were already half-way there. Somehow the fact that you are already in an aroused state is a huge thing for him.
Spring a surprise
For men it is a massive ego boost to know that you want him too. Surprising him with a spontaneous seduction act can really win him. He will not be likely to forget it in a hurry.
Don't be scared to be naughty
Don't hold back when you are with your guy. Yes, we know that you have this 'good-girl' image that you hold sacred. Men like to see this other side of you when you are not scared to break his 'good-girl' image of you. They will never cause offense by actually asking you to do it. Just show him that you are really into him and want him as much as he wants you.
Give him an eyeful
Leaving something on your body, for him to remove can be very arousing. When you are at it just make sure you are near a mirror so that you can see yourselves in action. It can be hot.
Get rough
Yes, he wants it rough at times and he would love it if you let him know that you want it too. Bring out the beast in him and tell him you are having the time of your life.
Take over
Sometimes men just want you to take over while he just lies down and enjoys. It is an ultimate fantasy for them.
Give some subtle suggestions
For men (even though he's known you for a while now) a woman's libidinous longings are not always easy to decipher. If you drop some hints about what all you want and guide him along, he will love you for it.
Trust us, the man who really loves you would love to please you in every way possible. So, talk to him and tell him if he's doing just what you wanted or if you want him to continue with something a little longer.
Bowl him over with a wild move
Do something unexpected and wild when you both are at it. Something erotic that he will not be able to forget soon. Make your session stand out by coming up with signature moves. Work on pleasuring him in different ways.
Offer the spice of variety
Change in speed, positions and pressure can really make the entire experience very different. Whether it is the foreplay or the actual act, if there is variety he will never really know what to expect and therefore it will help a great deal in revving up his senses.
Turn it on yourself
Since women take time to get turned on, men love women who can take that responsibility off them so that he can actually get to work. Though your man may love to do all that he needs to in order to get you aroused but he would definitely like it if you were already half-way there. Somehow the fact that you are already in an aroused state is a huge thing for him.
Spring a surprise
For men it is a massive ego boost to know that you want him too. Surprising him with a spontaneous seduction act can really win him. He will not be likely to forget it in a hurry.
Don't be scared to be naughty
Don't hold back when you are with your guy. Yes, we know that you have this 'good-girl' image that you hold sacred. Men like to see this other side of you when you are not scared to break his 'good-girl' image of you. They will never cause offense by actually asking you to do it. Just show him that you are really into him and want him as much as he wants you.
Give him an eyeful
Leaving something on your body, for him to remove can be very arousing. When you are at it just make sure you are near a mirror so that you can see yourselves in action. It can be hot.
Get rough
Yes, he wants it rough at times and he would love it if you let him know that you want it too. Bring out the beast in him and tell him you are having the time of your life.
Take over
Sometimes men just want you to take over while he just lies down and enjoys. It is an ultimate fantasy for them.
Be his 'sexy' always
Early morning 'sex' surprise: Begin your day by surprising him! How about turning the table and you playing the initiator in an early-morning romp before turkey and trimmings stuff you two?
Massage time: The early morning steamy action must have left him tired. It's time to pamper him a little. Go ahead turn your bathroom into a spa and arrange for a sexy massage for your man. Get out those seasonal smelling lotions, candles and warm towels and let your hands do the magic on his body. You never know, he may just want to return the favour!
Yummy 'sexy' breakfast: By the time the massage is over, the two of you will be tormented with hunger pangs. So, brace up for a yummy breakfast, prepared by the two of you together. Make sure you only have the most sensuous of food items on your plate for the day! You can also try feeding each other sensual fruits like strawberries.
Gifts galore: Gift time is not restricted to certain days of the year. What better way to surprise him in the afternoon by turning into a 'hot' gift yourself? Drive him wild by wrapping yourself in nothing but ribbons. Lace-up yourself in a sexy bra and knicker set and add the final touch with bows for him to untie later. Do you still say afternoons are boring?
Text him 'sex': Just when he though it was all over for the day, send him a racy text message hinting what's in store for the evening. The excitement isn't over yet!
Rub of love: Keep the early evening for a refreshing bath. Rub each other with anything staring from yummy strawberry and chocolate sauces followed by a final rinse with sweet smelling bathing gels. All set for the eventful night.
It's time to party: Set the mood for a really sexy party that includes just the two of you. Titillate him by dancing around in a sensuous party dress. Bring some more fun by adding a strip tease only for him.
Dinner can't get sexier: The party is sure to leave you in some hot surprises between the sheets and of course hungry! So, instead of going out, order your favourite food at home and serve it on your body. Yes, you heard it right, blind fold your man and let him eat his food off your hot bod!
Good night surprise: Wrap up his eventful day by wearing proper, old-fashioned sexy, silky stockings and suspenders. Trust us, he will from now onwards only shower you with all you the stuff you have been craving for!
Massage time: The early morning steamy action must have left him tired. It's time to pamper him a little. Go ahead turn your bathroom into a spa and arrange for a sexy massage for your man. Get out those seasonal smelling lotions, candles and warm towels and let your hands do the magic on his body. You never know, he may just want to return the favour!
Yummy 'sexy' breakfast: By the time the massage is over, the two of you will be tormented with hunger pangs. So, brace up for a yummy breakfast, prepared by the two of you together. Make sure you only have the most sensuous of food items on your plate for the day! You can also try feeding each other sensual fruits like strawberries.
Gifts galore: Gift time is not restricted to certain days of the year. What better way to surprise him in the afternoon by turning into a 'hot' gift yourself? Drive him wild by wrapping yourself in nothing but ribbons. Lace-up yourself in a sexy bra and knicker set and add the final touch with bows for him to untie later. Do you still say afternoons are boring?
Text him 'sex': Just when he though it was all over for the day, send him a racy text message hinting what's in store for the evening. The excitement isn't over yet!
Rub of love: Keep the early evening for a refreshing bath. Rub each other with anything staring from yummy strawberry and chocolate sauces followed by a final rinse with sweet smelling bathing gels. All set for the eventful night.
It's time to party: Set the mood for a really sexy party that includes just the two of you. Titillate him by dancing around in a sensuous party dress. Bring some more fun by adding a strip tease only for him.
Dinner can't get sexier: The party is sure to leave you in some hot surprises between the sheets and of course hungry! So, instead of going out, order your favourite food at home and serve it on your body. Yes, you heard it right, blind fold your man and let him eat his food off your hot bod!
Good night surprise: Wrap up his eventful day by wearing proper, old-fashioned sexy, silky stockings and suspenders. Trust us, he will from now onwards only shower you with all you the stuff you have been craving for!
Sex drive, hot butt...an ideal girlfriend?
A lot has been said about what men think women want and vice versa. A recent survey done in the United Kingdom asked men what fits their benchmark of an ideal girlfriend and found out that a high sex drive, thin figure, pert bottom, and high earner tops the priority list. So, We spoke to a few guys and gals to find if it holds true or not and found that in most cases their ideal one was – Kate Winslet!
It's the perfect survey
Ankit Tayal, 23, professional, says, "Well, I think the survey summed it up pretty well. I would love a girl who earns more than me, and has a higher sex drive than I do, and well, looks better than me — ideal package!" His ideal girl? Megan Fox. Anupam Roy, 25, professional, agrees, "Oh, I would love it if my girl earns more than I do, then I can gradually leave my job, as I feel that I'm too lazy and generally guys are lazy people. My ideal girl should be unbearably beautiful, bearably stupid, and should be good in bed." His ideal girl? Kate Winslet.
It's more about the funny bone than the sexy butt
While the survey says that men desire looks more than humour, some Delhi guys would like to differ. Says Viraj Gupta (23), "Who wouldn't want the whole package of looks, money and sex? My ideal girl should be decently educated, have a simple lifestyle, a sense of humour would be good, and should look okay, looks are not that important." His ideal girl? Kate Winslet, for her grace.
Says Prateek Kapil, student, "My ideal girl should have a funny bone, she should be fiercely independent and should look good." His ideal girl: Cristina Scabbia, lead vocalist of the metal band Lacuna Coil. Agrees student Arun Khanna (24), "My ideal girl should be pretty, should have a sense of humour, not ruthlessly career driven or excessively competitive.The survey speaks for most guys, however the earning a higher salary part could be a point of contention between the couple." And his ideal girl? Kate Winslet or Kat Dennings.
Men can handle a more successful counterpart
Disagrees Sonali Sapra (23), MBA student, "I disagree with the survey that men want high salary earning women. I haven't met any man who thinks like that and I completely agree that women should earn more and if the man has a problem he should strive to earn better and live up to a woman's expectations. I would associate Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas with this survey because while she is so successful, he doesn't even get offered with 'papa' roles."
Shallu Sharma believes that, "A man will have ego hassles if a woman earns more than them. I have met men who want you to eat and stay slim at the same time, and they have problems if you earn more, but if you are not career-minded they have a major problem. A very good case in point would be Arbaaz Khan and Malaika Arora Khan, probably Arbaaz has no ego hassles."
The desire for a thin girl
While the survey states that men would like their perfect mate to dig into a meal without any qualms and contradictorily be slim at the same time, Shraddha Bhateja (23), commercial pilot, disagrees, "I don't think guys like skinny girls, that is totally untrue and most of my male friends would agree with me. Both partners should take care of the family (including kids) and both should be career-minded for a successful relationship."
In stark contrast Lisa Boye (22), airlines security agent, says, "I completely agree with the survey. Eat and stay fit, how hard is that? Who would like a person who makes a fuss at a restaurant and is on diets all the time? Half the fun is gone right there."
Men want girls who are family oriented and will have babies
The salary package of the perfect woman is a debate amongst men and women alike. Some feel men have ego hassles while others disagree. The survey states that women should be career-minded, earn more than her man as well as stay at home and take care of the kids.
Prateek Kapil, 23, student, says, "I think that guys will agree with the very high salary part. If she earns more than the guys, then the guy is not going to like it, though I personally don't agree with that."
Agrees Mehak Saluja, a quality analyst, "Men want women to stay at home but I don't think they want one who earns more than them, it brings in ego hassles. Not everyone is like an Abhishek Bachchan who can walk along with his very successful wife, while he still has to make a mark." Arun seems to sum it up, "The survey is all correct, except the part which says guys want their partner to earn more than them. This is not true for most guys as they have huge egos. The part where the survey goes contradictory and says that though high earning, the girl should be family oriented is true for guys; they want someone to be family oriented and have babies."
Let's talk sex, baby
Talk about sex drive and we surprisingly had two views! While some felt that sex drive is important, but intimacy was rated higher, all men agreed that sex drives relationships. Says Anupam, "She should be good in bed and that should be more important than her having a brilliant sex drive. I mean what's the point of her wanting to do it, if she is not good in bed, right?"
Some like Prateek feel that having a huge appetite for sex could be cumbersome in a closed society like India. "Having a sex drive is good, but wanting to do it everywhere and all the time would be too much, especially in India, where you don't find much space, so it could get embarrassing," says Prateek. Adds Viraj, "As for sex drive, even the guys should have a good sex drive, if the guy doesn't do anything, what will the poor girl do?"
Will men ever come to a consensus on the ideal GF?
While the never-ending debate between men and women continues, what we conclude is that not only women, but men too have high demands. Most of the demands are well, contradictory, but that does not stop men from fantasising about the perfect woman who cooks, cleans, earns, eats, is slim and beautiful all at the same time. We'd say it's time you took a reality check, guys
It's the perfect survey
Ankit Tayal, 23, professional, says, "Well, I think the survey summed it up pretty well. I would love a girl who earns more than me, and has a higher sex drive than I do, and well, looks better than me — ideal package!" His ideal girl? Megan Fox. Anupam Roy, 25, professional, agrees, "Oh, I would love it if my girl earns more than I do, then I can gradually leave my job, as I feel that I'm too lazy and generally guys are lazy people. My ideal girl should be unbearably beautiful, bearably stupid, and should be good in bed." His ideal girl? Kate Winslet.
It's more about the funny bone than the sexy butt
While the survey says that men desire looks more than humour, some Delhi guys would like to differ. Says Viraj Gupta (23), "Who wouldn't want the whole package of looks, money and sex? My ideal girl should be decently educated, have a simple lifestyle, a sense of humour would be good, and should look okay, looks are not that important." His ideal girl? Kate Winslet, for her grace.
Says Prateek Kapil, student, "My ideal girl should have a funny bone, she should be fiercely independent and should look good." His ideal girl: Cristina Scabbia, lead vocalist of the metal band Lacuna Coil. Agrees student Arun Khanna (24), "My ideal girl should be pretty, should have a sense of humour, not ruthlessly career driven or excessively competitive.The survey speaks for most guys, however the earning a higher salary part could be a point of contention between the couple." And his ideal girl? Kate Winslet or Kat Dennings.
Men can handle a more successful counterpart
Disagrees Sonali Sapra (23), MBA student, "I disagree with the survey that men want high salary earning women. I haven't met any man who thinks like that and I completely agree that women should earn more and if the man has a problem he should strive to earn better and live up to a woman's expectations. I would associate Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas with this survey because while she is so successful, he doesn't even get offered with 'papa' roles."
Shallu Sharma believes that, "A man will have ego hassles if a woman earns more than them. I have met men who want you to eat and stay slim at the same time, and they have problems if you earn more, but if you are not career-minded they have a major problem. A very good case in point would be Arbaaz Khan and Malaika Arora Khan, probably Arbaaz has no ego hassles."
The desire for a thin girl
While the survey states that men would like their perfect mate to dig into a meal without any qualms and contradictorily be slim at the same time, Shraddha Bhateja (23), commercial pilot, disagrees, "I don't think guys like skinny girls, that is totally untrue and most of my male friends would agree with me. Both partners should take care of the family (including kids) and both should be career-minded for a successful relationship."
In stark contrast Lisa Boye (22), airlines security agent, says, "I completely agree with the survey. Eat and stay fit, how hard is that? Who would like a person who makes a fuss at a restaurant and is on diets all the time? Half the fun is gone right there."
Men want girls who are family oriented and will have babies
The salary package of the perfect woman is a debate amongst men and women alike. Some feel men have ego hassles while others disagree. The survey states that women should be career-minded, earn more than her man as well as stay at home and take care of the kids.
Prateek Kapil, 23, student, says, "I think that guys will agree with the very high salary part. If she earns more than the guys, then the guy is not going to like it, though I personally don't agree with that."
Agrees Mehak Saluja, a quality analyst, "Men want women to stay at home but I don't think they want one who earns more than them, it brings in ego hassles. Not everyone is like an Abhishek Bachchan who can walk along with his very successful wife, while he still has to make a mark." Arun seems to sum it up, "The survey is all correct, except the part which says guys want their partner to earn more than them. This is not true for most guys as they have huge egos. The part where the survey goes contradictory and says that though high earning, the girl should be family oriented is true for guys; they want someone to be family oriented and have babies."
Let's talk sex, baby
Talk about sex drive and we surprisingly had two views! While some felt that sex drive is important, but intimacy was rated higher, all men agreed that sex drives relationships. Says Anupam, "She should be good in bed and that should be more important than her having a brilliant sex drive. I mean what's the point of her wanting to do it, if she is not good in bed, right?"
Some like Prateek feel that having a huge appetite for sex could be cumbersome in a closed society like India. "Having a sex drive is good, but wanting to do it everywhere and all the time would be too much, especially in India, where you don't find much space, so it could get embarrassing," says Prateek. Adds Viraj, "As for sex drive, even the guys should have a good sex drive, if the guy doesn't do anything, what will the poor girl do?"
Will men ever come to a consensus on the ideal GF?
While the never-ending debate between men and women continues, what we conclude is that not only women, but men too have high demands. Most of the demands are well, contradictory, but that does not stop men from fantasising about the perfect woman who cooks, cleans, earns, eats, is slim and beautiful all at the same time. We'd say it's time you took a reality check, guys
Tips for sizzling sex
Sex needs to be spontaneous and only then does it completely fulfill and please one. Here are three steps that will guarantee ultimate sexual pleasure.
Don't try too hard: When it comes to great sex, be natural. Trying too hard will make the process harder as no matter how hard you try to curb it, you will let your partner know that you are trying too hard. This is especially true for men who think if he doesn't try variety, the girl won't enjoy the sack session. So he might just try to pull off tricks that might actually turn her off, since she would realize he is not really into the act.
Don't think too much: There is the concept of Gourmet sex, which is touted to be the most fulfilling and satisfying form of sex. It basically means having sex with a free and easy mind and allowing it to be a satisfying experience. Bed is definitely not the place to think. This especially involves women who are extremely self-conscious of their image. While into the act, she is more busy thinking how the guy will react, or is she looking fat. This kind of stuff will pull you out of the moment and get you into a negative spiral where you become sexually ineffective.
Go for simple moves: Great sex is all about simple moves, done in the right manner at the right time. Yes, you have seen a lot of porn and read a lot of stuff and are highly educated on the variety of postures that a couple can enjoy. Wait a while before putting them to action. Good sex is about learning to feel not just with your hands, but with your fingertips too. It's not just being in-tune with her screams, but even to her breathing.
Do not aim at sexual perfection because no such thing exists. Just go with the flow and enjoy the experience.
Don't try too hard: When it comes to great sex, be natural. Trying too hard will make the process harder as no matter how hard you try to curb it, you will let your partner know that you are trying too hard. This is especially true for men who think if he doesn't try variety, the girl won't enjoy the sack session. So he might just try to pull off tricks that might actually turn her off, since she would realize he is not really into the act.
Don't think too much: There is the concept of Gourmet sex, which is touted to be the most fulfilling and satisfying form of sex. It basically means having sex with a free and easy mind and allowing it to be a satisfying experience. Bed is definitely not the place to think. This especially involves women who are extremely self-conscious of their image. While into the act, she is more busy thinking how the guy will react, or is she looking fat. This kind of stuff will pull you out of the moment and get you into a negative spiral where you become sexually ineffective.
Go for simple moves: Great sex is all about simple moves, done in the right manner at the right time. Yes, you have seen a lot of porn and read a lot of stuff and are highly educated on the variety of postures that a couple can enjoy. Wait a while before putting them to action. Good sex is about learning to feel not just with your hands, but with your fingertips too. It's not just being in-tune with her screams, but even to her breathing.
Do not aim at sexual perfection because no such thing exists. Just go with the flow and enjoy the experience.
Women prefer living with a funny guy
Here's some bad news for guys who lack a sense of humour. Research shows that girls, in general, prefer humourous men to those with good looks.
If you are someone who can make her smile when she is low, or if you can impress her gang of girls with funny one liners, or even breathe life into any party, then boy, you stand a good chance of getting the best of the girls. And why not? Living with a funny man can breathe life to a stereotypical existence, and colour even the dullest of days with vibrant hues. Interior designer, Ruchi Parikh, is a happsy girl because her husband has the knack of making anyone laugh. "You just can't get angry with him. Even when you are wild with rage, he will do something hilariously cute that would make you want to smile," she says. "I've never had a dull day since we got married as his funny one-liners make me fall in love with him over and over again."
Which woman wouldn't want to show off her partner, especially when she knows that he is someone who can brighten the atmosphere with his presence? Software professional, Niharika Emanuel, was lucky enough to fall for a man who is extremely well liked. "I love the way he impresses everyone with his jokes and wit. He is the life of all parties. With him around, fun cannot be far away. My life is full of beautiful memories, thanks to him. He makes me forget all my worries. He is amazing."
When graphic designer, Neha Sharma chatted for hours at a stretch with an average looking man with an above average sense of humour, she hardly imagined that they would get hitched. "Life has been full of bright colours living with him. He has this quality of making you smile, even if you are in the worst of moods. He has a take on everything in life - be it a random piece of garbage lying on the corner of the road, to a speeding biker or even a politician. Every time I talk to him, I'm in splits, I am very lucky to have him," says Neha.
Life is surely vibrant with a funny man around, but sometimes, living with such a man can be an uphill task. Marketing professional Jessica Desai explains, "It's very difficult to know the real person because they have this habit of hiding their emotions behind their smiles. Whenever my husband cracks jokes on himself, it's hard to decide if he is hurt or worried or if it is really a joke." Suruchi Pandit, who suffers from a similar affliction agrees, "My boyfriend can hide his emotions very easily. I could never tell when he was low - he was always grinning . But if you understand him well, then life can continue on a happy note."
Life is not a bed of roses. But if your partner can help you through the rough moments, then you're a very lucky woman indeed.
If you are someone who can make her smile when she is low, or if you can impress her gang of girls with funny one liners, or even breathe life into any party, then boy, you stand a good chance of getting the best of the girls. And why not? Living with a funny man can breathe life to a stereotypical existence, and colour even the dullest of days with vibrant hues. Interior designer, Ruchi Parikh, is a happsy girl because her husband has the knack of making anyone laugh. "You just can't get angry with him. Even when you are wild with rage, he will do something hilariously cute that would make you want to smile," she says. "I've never had a dull day since we got married as his funny one-liners make me fall in love with him over and over again."
Which woman wouldn't want to show off her partner, especially when she knows that he is someone who can brighten the atmosphere with his presence? Software professional, Niharika Emanuel, was lucky enough to fall for a man who is extremely well liked. "I love the way he impresses everyone with his jokes and wit. He is the life of all parties. With him around, fun cannot be far away. My life is full of beautiful memories, thanks to him. He makes me forget all my worries. He is amazing."
When graphic designer, Neha Sharma chatted for hours at a stretch with an average looking man with an above average sense of humour, she hardly imagined that they would get hitched. "Life has been full of bright colours living with him. He has this quality of making you smile, even if you are in the worst of moods. He has a take on everything in life - be it a random piece of garbage lying on the corner of the road, to a speeding biker or even a politician. Every time I talk to him, I'm in splits, I am very lucky to have him," says Neha.
Life is surely vibrant with a funny man around, but sometimes, living with such a man can be an uphill task. Marketing professional Jessica Desai explains, "It's very difficult to know the real person because they have this habit of hiding their emotions behind their smiles. Whenever my husband cracks jokes on himself, it's hard to decide if he is hurt or worried or if it is really a joke." Suruchi Pandit, who suffers from a similar affliction agrees, "My boyfriend can hide his emotions very easily. I could never tell when he was low - he was always grinning . But if you understand him well, then life can continue on a happy note."
Life is not a bed of roses. But if your partner can help you through the rough moments, then you're a very lucky woman indeed.
Have sex everyday to keep diseases away!
If you thought that the only benefit of sex was, well, pleasure, here's some news for you. Making love is good for adults. And making love regularly is even better. Not only does it help you sleep well, relieve stress and burn calories, there are also several other reasons why you need to have sex more often.
Improves cardiovascular health
A recent study says that men who have sex more than twice a week, have a lesser risk of getting a heart attack, than men who had sex less than once a month.
Increases immunity
Regular lovemaking increases the level of the immune-boosting antibody immunoglobulin A (IgA), which in turn makes your body stronger against illnesses like the common cold and fever.
Reduces stress
Stressed out with work or family problems? Don't let it affect your performance in the bedroom. Not only will having sex improve your mood, but a study has also proven that folks, who indulge in regular bedroom
activities can handle stress better and are happier people.
Relieves pain
If you're using a headache as an excuse to not make love, stop doing that. Have sex instead, because, when you're about to have an orgasm, the level of the hormone oxytocin increases by five times. This endorphin
actually reduces aches and pains.
Promotes longevity
When one has an orgasm, a hormone called dehydroepiandrosterone is released. This improves immunity, repairs tissue and keeps the skin healthy. Men, who have at least two orgasms a week, live longer than men who have sex just once every few weeks.
Increases blood circulation
Because your heart rate increases when you have sex, fresh blood is supplied to your organs and cells. While used blood is removed, the body also expels toxins and other materials that cause you to feel tired.
You sleep better
The sleep that you get just after you've made love will be much more relaxed. Getting a good night's sleep will make you feel alert and overall healthy.
Improves overall fitness
If you find going to the gym mundane or working out at home a task, here's another way to help you lose the flab and keep in shape. Regular sex will do wonders for your waistline. Half an hour of lovemaking burns more than 80 calories.
Increases levels of Oestrogen and testosterone
In men, the hormone testosterone is what makes them more passionate in the sack. Not only will it make you feel way better in bed, but it also improves your muscles and bones, keeps your heart healthy and keeps a check on your cholesterol. In women, on the other hand, the hormone oestrogen protects them against heart disease and also determines a woman's body scent.
Improves cardiovascular health
A recent study says that men who have sex more than twice a week, have a lesser risk of getting a heart attack, than men who had sex less than once a month.
Increases immunity
Regular lovemaking increases the level of the immune-boosting antibody immunoglobulin A (IgA), which in turn makes your body stronger against illnesses like the common cold and fever.
Reduces stress
Stressed out with work or family problems? Don't let it affect your performance in the bedroom. Not only will having sex improve your mood, but a study has also proven that folks, who indulge in regular bedroom
activities can handle stress better and are happier people.
Relieves pain
If you're using a headache as an excuse to not make love, stop doing that. Have sex instead, because, when you're about to have an orgasm, the level of the hormone oxytocin increases by five times. This endorphin
actually reduces aches and pains.
Promotes longevity
When one has an orgasm, a hormone called dehydroepiandrosterone is released. This improves immunity, repairs tissue and keeps the skin healthy. Men, who have at least two orgasms a week, live longer than men who have sex just once every few weeks.
Increases blood circulation
Because your heart rate increases when you have sex, fresh blood is supplied to your organs and cells. While used blood is removed, the body also expels toxins and other materials that cause you to feel tired.
You sleep better
The sleep that you get just after you've made love will be much more relaxed. Getting a good night's sleep will make you feel alert and overall healthy.
Improves overall fitness
If you find going to the gym mundane or working out at home a task, here's another way to help you lose the flab and keep in shape. Regular sex will do wonders for your waistline. Half an hour of lovemaking burns more than 80 calories.
Increases levels of Oestrogen and testosterone
In men, the hormone testosterone is what makes them more passionate in the sack. Not only will it make you feel way better in bed, but it also improves your muscles and bones, keeps your heart healthy and keeps a check on your cholesterol. In women, on the other hand, the hormone oestrogen protects them against heart disease and also determines a woman's body scent.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Casual sex between casual friends
If you've willingly boycotted the 'Commitments-cum-Expectations' camp long back, 'Friends with Benefits' (FWBs) is probably the thing you're looking for.
For your frame of reference, this fad defines a mutually beneficial relationship between two friends who indulge in casual sex with no bonds or expectations involved. In an age when all that people think of is adding digits to their bank balance, this trend has become quite a rage. Commitment might have taken a backseat but the desire for pleasure never will.
On being asked reasons as to why this trend has come into being, relationship therapist, Rachna Kothari says "Some reasons would be, the mere known fact that two friends are physically attracted to each other and can benefit each other (most often sexually), the want of pleasure or feeling of loneliness in a person or exes wanting to be in a physical relationship with no label attached. For those who believe they live in a culture that pursues individualism as the highest goal, it makes this relationship more pragmatic. Because there is no commitment or responsibility, one is free from feelings of hurt, pain, etc. and this can be a very honest and practical way of going about in relationships."
It is for sure, considering how comfortable one is with the idea, 'Friends with Benefits' is not a bad way to go about relationships. But then again, it is not all that easy. Here are certain dos and don'ts while being a FWBs.
Most times, in such a relationship, it is difficult to maintain proximity after you're done with your physical needs. Don't hook up with someone you are extremely close to or someone you can't do without on a regular basis. People generally say that women tend to fall in love with their partners after getting physical. But studies break that myth. It is normal that the moment you have had sexual intercourse, the body naturally emits hormones which generate feelings of love and affection. Sometimes, one of the partners agrees to being 'friends with benefits' just because they have feelings for the other and think that having casual sex would actually initiate sparks for the onset of a relationship. This can lead to heartbreak or a break in friendship or, in a worse scenario, both.
If, god willing, you fall in love at some point, this past phase can provoke doubt in your current relationship. FWBs can be a human interference when you're in a real relationship. Your current love can actually be insecure (and we see no fault in that) because of this so-called past-bed-buddy. If the FWB is an acquaintance, it's easy to break ties once you both have satisfied your physical needs.
Remember, it's about having an unspoken agreement between you and your friend to have occasional sex, leaving out the emotional baggage. You both should acknowledge this. Make sure the signal 'We're not lovers' is clear. Don't nestle or cuddle everytime you get an opportunity. Even sympathy sex is a no-no. This paves way to wanting more than just sex.
Rachna Kothari says, "Mutually, if two friends agree that there's no expectations, no commitments, then it's not detrimental because their attitudes are set right for this. But for those who believe that lovemaking and not mechanical sex is what's important, it is obviously detrimental as it violates every bit of their expectations."
Make sure the intimacy of this relationship is just between the two of you, without making it a public deal. Don't brag about what a love muffin you are. The friendship could be gone with the wind.
Comfort is the key word while being FWBs. You need not be worried about concealing that birthmark which you've always disliked, or those flabs you couldn't lose in the gym or whether you will perform well in bed. Just enjoy the moments without fretting much.
Most importantly, play safe. Don't just hook up without taking precautions. A bubbly night or a stressful day should be no excuse to not use protection before sex. Make sure you don't end up panic struck because of this risky relationship.
Maintaining friends with sexual benefits can be quite a hassle unless you stick by the ground rules. There is no harm being offbeat in relationships, but not acting in accordance to the rules would just lead to your life going haywire.
For your frame of reference, this fad defines a mutually beneficial relationship between two friends who indulge in casual sex with no bonds or expectations involved. In an age when all that people think of is adding digits to their bank balance, this trend has become quite a rage. Commitment might have taken a backseat but the desire for pleasure never will.
On being asked reasons as to why this trend has come into being, relationship therapist, Rachna Kothari says "Some reasons would be, the mere known fact that two friends are physically attracted to each other and can benefit each other (most often sexually), the want of pleasure or feeling of loneliness in a person or exes wanting to be in a physical relationship with no label attached. For those who believe they live in a culture that pursues individualism as the highest goal, it makes this relationship more pragmatic. Because there is no commitment or responsibility, one is free from feelings of hurt, pain, etc. and this can be a very honest and practical way of going about in relationships."
It is for sure, considering how comfortable one is with the idea, 'Friends with Benefits' is not a bad way to go about relationships. But then again, it is not all that easy. Here are certain dos and don'ts while being a FWBs.
Most times, in such a relationship, it is difficult to maintain proximity after you're done with your physical needs. Don't hook up with someone you are extremely close to or someone you can't do without on a regular basis. People generally say that women tend to fall in love with their partners after getting physical. But studies break that myth. It is normal that the moment you have had sexual intercourse, the body naturally emits hormones which generate feelings of love and affection. Sometimes, one of the partners agrees to being 'friends with benefits' just because they have feelings for the other and think that having casual sex would actually initiate sparks for the onset of a relationship. This can lead to heartbreak or a break in friendship or, in a worse scenario, both.
If, god willing, you fall in love at some point, this past phase can provoke doubt in your current relationship. FWBs can be a human interference when you're in a real relationship. Your current love can actually be insecure (and we see no fault in that) because of this so-called past-bed-buddy. If the FWB is an acquaintance, it's easy to break ties once you both have satisfied your physical needs.
Remember, it's about having an unspoken agreement between you and your friend to have occasional sex, leaving out the emotional baggage. You both should acknowledge this. Make sure the signal 'We're not lovers' is clear. Don't nestle or cuddle everytime you get an opportunity. Even sympathy sex is a no-no. This paves way to wanting more than just sex.
Rachna Kothari says, "Mutually, if two friends agree that there's no expectations, no commitments, then it's not detrimental because their attitudes are set right for this. But for those who believe that lovemaking and not mechanical sex is what's important, it is obviously detrimental as it violates every bit of their expectations."
Make sure the intimacy of this relationship is just between the two of you, without making it a public deal. Don't brag about what a love muffin you are. The friendship could be gone with the wind.
Comfort is the key word while being FWBs. You need not be worried about concealing that birthmark which you've always disliked, or those flabs you couldn't lose in the gym or whether you will perform well in bed. Just enjoy the moments without fretting much.
Most importantly, play safe. Don't just hook up without taking precautions. A bubbly night or a stressful day should be no excuse to not use protection before sex. Make sure you don't end up panic struck because of this risky relationship.
Maintaining friends with sexual benefits can be quite a hassle unless you stick by the ground rules. There is no harm being offbeat in relationships, but not acting in accordance to the rules would just lead to your life going haywire.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Is your penis too small?
If you're like 86% of men, measuring yours properly will eradicate any concerns
Sizing yourself up
First, stop looking at it from your lofty vantage point - ie from above. That's not how she sees it and it gives you a false impression of size. Second, measure it properly. Most men underestimate the size of their penis. In a study at the University of Pittsburgh, US, 26% of men gauged their own penis size as below average, and only 5% ticked the above average box. What's more, research from the University of Saskatchewan, Canada, showed that 86% of men said their penis size worries vanished after they were educated about penis size.
Here comes your education. Grab a tape measure and a ruler. Now measure your penis properly following the instructions below, and compare it to size averages (based on studies in the US and Australia):
Your standby length
To check your flaccid length, undress and measure it immediately. Because a cold or warm room can cause shrinkage or growth, you need to do this before room temperature affects your pride and joy. "Position the tip of the ruler gently against the point where the shaft meets the abdomen," says urologist Dr Hunter Wessells, who has studied penis size. Then simply bend the ruler along the shaft and read the length. An average length is 3.43 inches. Breathe a big sigh of relief.
Your erect length
Get hard and measure it quick. Again, get the ruler on to your penis as soon as you become fully erect. Now measure the top of your erection, ie the side furthest from your testicles, and check the figure at the tip of your shaft, holding the ruler against your penis base. An average length here is 5.03 inches.
Your erect girth
Maintaining your erection, wrap a tape measure around your penis at its base. An average size here is 5.14 inches around.
Your erection angle
With your back against a wall and a mirror in side view, estimate your angle. A 90-degree angle would point directly out in front, 180 degrees up at your chin. An average angle is 105.7 degrees - slightly up from horizontal.
Sizing yourself up
First, stop looking at it from your lofty vantage point - ie from above. That's not how she sees it and it gives you a false impression of size. Second, measure it properly. Most men underestimate the size of their penis. In a study at the University of Pittsburgh, US, 26% of men gauged their own penis size as below average, and only 5% ticked the above average box. What's more, research from the University of Saskatchewan, Canada, showed that 86% of men said their penis size worries vanished after they were educated about penis size.
Here comes your education. Grab a tape measure and a ruler. Now measure your penis properly following the instructions below, and compare it to size averages (based on studies in the US and Australia):
Your standby length
To check your flaccid length, undress and measure it immediately. Because a cold or warm room can cause shrinkage or growth, you need to do this before room temperature affects your pride and joy. "Position the tip of the ruler gently against the point where the shaft meets the abdomen," says urologist Dr Hunter Wessells, who has studied penis size. Then simply bend the ruler along the shaft and read the length. An average length is 3.43 inches. Breathe a big sigh of relief.
Your erect length
Get hard and measure it quick. Again, get the ruler on to your penis as soon as you become fully erect. Now measure the top of your erection, ie the side furthest from your testicles, and check the figure at the tip of your shaft, holding the ruler against your penis base. An average length here is 5.03 inches.
Your erect girth
Maintaining your erection, wrap a tape measure around your penis at its base. An average size here is 5.14 inches around.
Your erection angle
With your back against a wall and a mirror in side view, estimate your angle. A 90-degree angle would point directly out in front, 180 degrees up at your chin. An average angle is 105.7 degrees - slightly up from horizontal.
Foods for harder erections
Coffee
The caffeine kick from a cup of Java boosts your metabolism, gets your blood pumping and could also enhance endurance by releasing fat stores, giving you the energy to last all night.
Oysters
Yes, there is a reason for their sexy reputation. Oysters are rich in the mineral zinc and vitamin B6, both of which are vital for testosterone, without which you’d have the sex drive of a dead slug. If the thought of grey shellfish gloop sliding down your throat makes you gag, boost your testosterone with nuts and seeds instead.
Chillies
Spice up your love life with chillies. When your face flushes after eating a curry, that’s the blood vessels expanding thanks to the effect of the chillies. And it’s not just the blood vessels in your face that get the boost. Biologically speaking a hard-on is simple hydraulics – more liquid (blood) being forced into little tubes (blood vessels) in your penis – so what you need is a strong heart and smooth, healthy pipework.
Bananas
Hard men have healthy hearts, so eat bananas for potassium, which is great for your heart and circulation. Getting enough potassium helps keep your sodium levels under control, stopping your blood pressure from hitting the roof and reducing your risk of heart problems. If you eat too much salt and don’t like bananas, get your potassium from oranges or jacket potatoes (the mineral’s in the skin).
Salmon
The omega-3 fatty acids in oily fish make the blood less sticky, enhancing blood flow to the parts that matter. Eat fish like salmon, mackerel, trout and fresh tuna twice a week to keep your arteries well-oiled.
Pork
Contrary to popular belief, the penis does not have a mind of its own. To make it a fine and upstanding specimen, your neurons must be co-ordinated with military precision. You need thiamine, aka vitamin B1, for a healthy nervous system, so eat pork to help fire your swimmers in the right direction. Can’t or don’t eat pig? Get your B from beans and wholemeal bread.
Cherries
Cherries are packed full of anthocyanins, colourful plant chemicals which protect your artery walls, helping prevent the fatty plaques that lead to atherosclerosis, or clogged arteries. Don’t fancy cherries? Berries, or brightly coloured fruit such as peaches, nectarines and plums, will all keep your arteries smooth as a baby’s nether regions.
Onions
The phytochemical allicin in onions and garlic thins the blood and enhances your circulation, as well as making it less likely to clot and clog. Avoid unsexy onion-breath by chewing parsley or peppermints.
Wine
Wine – especially red wine – is a great source of the antioxidant phytochemical resveratrol, which helps open the arteries by enhancing the production of nitric oxide. Nitric oxide allows the blood vessels to expand, and this is how Viagra works. But while the little blue pill only works on tiny blood vessels, resveratrol helps your main arteries too. Make sure you stop at one or two glasses of wine – too much alcohol leads to the dreaded droop.
Porridge
Porridge isn’t sexy, but the soluble fibre in oatmeal mops up cholesterol, helping keep your blood vessels smooth and stretchy. So get your oats!
The caffeine kick from a cup of Java boosts your metabolism, gets your blood pumping and could also enhance endurance by releasing fat stores, giving you the energy to last all night.
Oysters
Yes, there is a reason for their sexy reputation. Oysters are rich in the mineral zinc and vitamin B6, both of which are vital for testosterone, without which you’d have the sex drive of a dead slug. If the thought of grey shellfish gloop sliding down your throat makes you gag, boost your testosterone with nuts and seeds instead.
Chillies
Spice up your love life with chillies. When your face flushes after eating a curry, that’s the blood vessels expanding thanks to the effect of the chillies. And it’s not just the blood vessels in your face that get the boost. Biologically speaking a hard-on is simple hydraulics – more liquid (blood) being forced into little tubes (blood vessels) in your penis – so what you need is a strong heart and smooth, healthy pipework.
Bananas
Hard men have healthy hearts, so eat bananas for potassium, which is great for your heart and circulation. Getting enough potassium helps keep your sodium levels under control, stopping your blood pressure from hitting the roof and reducing your risk of heart problems. If you eat too much salt and don’t like bananas, get your potassium from oranges or jacket potatoes (the mineral’s in the skin).
Salmon
The omega-3 fatty acids in oily fish make the blood less sticky, enhancing blood flow to the parts that matter. Eat fish like salmon, mackerel, trout and fresh tuna twice a week to keep your arteries well-oiled.
Pork
Contrary to popular belief, the penis does not have a mind of its own. To make it a fine and upstanding specimen, your neurons must be co-ordinated with military precision. You need thiamine, aka vitamin B1, for a healthy nervous system, so eat pork to help fire your swimmers in the right direction. Can’t or don’t eat pig? Get your B from beans and wholemeal bread.
Cherries
Cherries are packed full of anthocyanins, colourful plant chemicals which protect your artery walls, helping prevent the fatty plaques that lead to atherosclerosis, or clogged arteries. Don’t fancy cherries? Berries, or brightly coloured fruit such as peaches, nectarines and plums, will all keep your arteries smooth as a baby’s nether regions.
Onions
The phytochemical allicin in onions and garlic thins the blood and enhances your circulation, as well as making it less likely to clot and clog. Avoid unsexy onion-breath by chewing parsley or peppermints.
Wine
Wine – especially red wine – is a great source of the antioxidant phytochemical resveratrol, which helps open the arteries by enhancing the production of nitric oxide. Nitric oxide allows the blood vessels to expand, and this is how Viagra works. But while the little blue pill only works on tiny blood vessels, resveratrol helps your main arteries too. Make sure you stop at one or two glasses of wine – too much alcohol leads to the dreaded droop.
Porridge
Porridge isn’t sexy, but the soluble fibre in oatmeal mops up cholesterol, helping keep your blood vessels smooth and stretchy. So get your oats!
Fit in your 30s
The melt fat decade
The metabolic rate that allowed you to burn through tikka masalas in your 20s is gradually slowing by one per cent every four years. And even if the figure on your scales isn't rising, it doesn't mean you aren't becoming any fatter. In a study published by the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, scientists found that men who managed to maintain their weight for 40 years still gained three pounds of fat each decade, pounds they directly exchanged for muscle.
The primary reason is that past the age of 30 your testosterone levels decrease by up to one per cent a year. This means it becomes harder for you to build or simply maintain metabolism-boosting muscle. But sagging testosterone levels aren't your only health hazard: from now on your systolic (in other words, peak) blood pressure rises by four points per decade and joint degeneration begins to occur.
To prevent the onset of midlife kicking you in the teeth, here's how to wind back the hands of your biological clock.
The problem
Corroding joints
Arthritis doesn't usually start reeking havoc until you hit your 50s, but the damage that causes it is happening now. Neglect to take the appropriate care now and you can think of it as missing down-payments on your health mortgage. The key is to act before your joints are repossessed.
The fix
Guess what? The answer's fish again. Sorry, but it's inescapable: eat a hearty portion of cold-water fish three times a week, specifically oil-rich varieties such as salmon, mackerel, trout or halibut. With each serving packing more than 1,000 mg of fish oil, regular consumption has been shown by a recent study to halt cartilage-eating enzymes in 86 per cent of people facing joint-replacement surgery. According to lead researcher Dr Bruce Caterson, fish oil slows down cartilage degeneration and reduces inflammation.
The problem
Rising blood pressure
Some men are always close to their boiling points, and new research from Holland may explain why. Scientists discovered that besides the obvious factors – obesity, lack of physical activity, high salt consumption – diets containing too little potassium were the primary cause of hypertension. Their analysis concluded that 3,500mg daily constitutes a low potassium intake, a worrying conclusion when the average intake for a man in his 30s is just 3,100mg.
The fix
Add 1⁄2 cup of kidney beans, a banana or a handful of raisins to your daily diet. Each will increase your potassium intake by about 400 mg a day, boosting you above that 3,500 mg threshold.
The problem
Waning sex drive
Yes, it happens, no matter how much your better half complains of your one-track mind. For all your 20s exuberance and ribald pub banter, one of the less frequently uttered grievances of a man in his 30s is a slow withering of the inclination to display his athleticism come bedtime. And no one wants that.
The fix
Munch on two handfuls of walnuts, peanuts or almonds every day. Research shows that men with diets high in mono-unsaturates - the kind found here – have higher testosterone levels than those who shun the healthy fat. Nuts are also the best food source of arginine, an amino acid that improves bloodflow throughout your body, including the areas south of your belt.
The problem
Your metabolism is slowing
It's a fact of life that your body is slowing down, but that doesn't mean you have to take it lying down. By snacking on foods that are low in sugar but rich in protein you'll keep your metabolic furnace stoked and be less likely to binge between meals.
The fix
Nibble on a slice of hard cheese (Cheddar, Swiss, parmesan) three times a day and you'll be swallowing in the region of 20g of protein. The fact cheese doesn't contain any sugar means that your blood-sugar levels stay low and stable and your body stays in fat-burning gear. But if a slice of mousetrap isn't your thing, opt for a cup of low-fat plain yoghurt or a stick of beef jerky; better still, kill two birds with one stone and grab a handful of almonds (see Waning sex drive above).
The problem
You can't lift the weights you used to
As a kid you probably have looked on your dad as the embodiment of manly strength, but the chances are his apparent mightiness was already on a downward spiral. As testosterone levels inevitably drop with the onset of your thirties, the cruel rules kick in as it takes longer for your muscles to return to full strength after each workout.
The fix
Eat broccoli and bell peppers at every opportunity. Together they're packed with vitamins C and E, two nutrients which fight the free radicals that slow the repair of exercise-induced muscle damage. Try this 15-minute meal from a man who knows a thing or two about workout recovery: MH cover model Gregg Avedon. Infused with crucial vitamins, high-quality protein and slow-digesting carbohydrates, it's the perfect meal to whip up after a strenuous weights session.
1. In a deep saucepan, sauté 1 tablespoon of chopped onion, 1⁄4 of a red bell pepper (cut into long, thin strips) and a pinch of black pepper on medium heat for 2 minutes.
2. Next, add 250g of turkey breast strips and 1 teaspoon of dried sage.
3. Brown the turkey for 2 minutes, then add 200ml of chicken broth and a good fistful of broccoli florets.
4. Bring to a boil for 1 minute, then stir in some plain, uncooked couscous.
5. Cover the pan, remove from the heat, then let it sit for 5 to 10 minutes. Serve when the couscous has absorbed all the liquid.
The metabolic rate that allowed you to burn through tikka masalas in your 20s is gradually slowing by one per cent every four years. And even if the figure on your scales isn't rising, it doesn't mean you aren't becoming any fatter. In a study published by the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, scientists found that men who managed to maintain their weight for 40 years still gained three pounds of fat each decade, pounds they directly exchanged for muscle.
The primary reason is that past the age of 30 your testosterone levels decrease by up to one per cent a year. This means it becomes harder for you to build or simply maintain metabolism-boosting muscle. But sagging testosterone levels aren't your only health hazard: from now on your systolic (in other words, peak) blood pressure rises by four points per decade and joint degeneration begins to occur.
To prevent the onset of midlife kicking you in the teeth, here's how to wind back the hands of your biological clock.
The problem
Corroding joints
Arthritis doesn't usually start reeking havoc until you hit your 50s, but the damage that causes it is happening now. Neglect to take the appropriate care now and you can think of it as missing down-payments on your health mortgage. The key is to act before your joints are repossessed.
The fix
Guess what? The answer's fish again. Sorry, but it's inescapable: eat a hearty portion of cold-water fish three times a week, specifically oil-rich varieties such as salmon, mackerel, trout or halibut. With each serving packing more than 1,000 mg of fish oil, regular consumption has been shown by a recent study to halt cartilage-eating enzymes in 86 per cent of people facing joint-replacement surgery. According to lead researcher Dr Bruce Caterson, fish oil slows down cartilage degeneration and reduces inflammation.
The problem
Rising blood pressure
Some men are always close to their boiling points, and new research from Holland may explain why. Scientists discovered that besides the obvious factors – obesity, lack of physical activity, high salt consumption – diets containing too little potassium were the primary cause of hypertension. Their analysis concluded that 3,500mg daily constitutes a low potassium intake, a worrying conclusion when the average intake for a man in his 30s is just 3,100mg.
The fix
Add 1⁄2 cup of kidney beans, a banana or a handful of raisins to your daily diet. Each will increase your potassium intake by about 400 mg a day, boosting you above that 3,500 mg threshold.
The problem
Waning sex drive
Yes, it happens, no matter how much your better half complains of your one-track mind. For all your 20s exuberance and ribald pub banter, one of the less frequently uttered grievances of a man in his 30s is a slow withering of the inclination to display his athleticism come bedtime. And no one wants that.
The fix
Munch on two handfuls of walnuts, peanuts or almonds every day. Research shows that men with diets high in mono-unsaturates - the kind found here – have higher testosterone levels than those who shun the healthy fat. Nuts are also the best food source of arginine, an amino acid that improves bloodflow throughout your body, including the areas south of your belt.
The problem
Your metabolism is slowing
It's a fact of life that your body is slowing down, but that doesn't mean you have to take it lying down. By snacking on foods that are low in sugar but rich in protein you'll keep your metabolic furnace stoked and be less likely to binge between meals.
The fix
Nibble on a slice of hard cheese (Cheddar, Swiss, parmesan) three times a day and you'll be swallowing in the region of 20g of protein. The fact cheese doesn't contain any sugar means that your blood-sugar levels stay low and stable and your body stays in fat-burning gear. But if a slice of mousetrap isn't your thing, opt for a cup of low-fat plain yoghurt or a stick of beef jerky; better still, kill two birds with one stone and grab a handful of almonds (see Waning sex drive above).
The problem
You can't lift the weights you used to
As a kid you probably have looked on your dad as the embodiment of manly strength, but the chances are his apparent mightiness was already on a downward spiral. As testosterone levels inevitably drop with the onset of your thirties, the cruel rules kick in as it takes longer for your muscles to return to full strength after each workout.
The fix
Eat broccoli and bell peppers at every opportunity. Together they're packed with vitamins C and E, two nutrients which fight the free radicals that slow the repair of exercise-induced muscle damage. Try this 15-minute meal from a man who knows a thing or two about workout recovery: MH cover model Gregg Avedon. Infused with crucial vitamins, high-quality protein and slow-digesting carbohydrates, it's the perfect meal to whip up after a strenuous weights session.
1. In a deep saucepan, sauté 1 tablespoon of chopped onion, 1⁄4 of a red bell pepper (cut into long, thin strips) and a pinch of black pepper on medium heat for 2 minutes.
2. Next, add 250g of turkey breast strips and 1 teaspoon of dried sage.
3. Brown the turkey for 2 minutes, then add 200ml of chicken broth and a good fistful of broccoli florets.
4. Bring to a boil for 1 minute, then stir in some plain, uncooked couscous.
5. Cover the pan, remove from the heat, then let it sit for 5 to 10 minutes. Serve when the couscous has absorbed all the liquid.
15-minute food: mid-morning muscle fuel
Dried fruit muesli
By Robin Gill, head chef at Sauterelle, London
Ingredients
1 apple
1 banana
1 lemon
1tbsp pine nuts or hazel nuts
1tbsp dried parsnip
1tbsp dried banana
1tbsp dried apple
1tsp sunflower seeds
3tbsp oats
Skimmed milk
Natural yoghurt
Drizzle of honey
The 15-minute method
1-4mins Core and slice the apple, then peel and slice the banana.
4-5mins Squeeze over some lemon juice. The juice will keep the fruit fresh rather than withering like your legs after ‘Squats Tuesday’.
5-13mins Stick the dry ingredients in a bowl and mix. Sprinkle on the nuts. This mixture can be stored in an airtight container for up to a week, so mix some more and you’ll be set for a week’s worth of spoon reps.
13-15mins Splash over the milk. Add more if you’re after quicker-wolfing wetness, less if you want some bite before crunch time at the gym. Finally, add the yoghurt and drizzle with honey.
Your body’s benefit
“The banana is full of slow-release carbs to fuel your workout. The rest of the fruit and oats make this high fibre as well as low GI, which combine for a steady supply of energy rather than a spike and crash,” says sports nutritionist Trevor Bedding. Which means you won’t bottom out when you’re at full tilt on the treadmill.
By Robin Gill, head chef at Sauterelle, London
Ingredients
1 apple
1 banana
1 lemon
1tbsp pine nuts or hazel nuts
1tbsp dried parsnip
1tbsp dried banana
1tbsp dried apple
1tsp sunflower seeds
3tbsp oats
Skimmed milk
Natural yoghurt
Drizzle of honey
The 15-minute method
1-4mins Core and slice the apple, then peel and slice the banana.
4-5mins Squeeze over some lemon juice. The juice will keep the fruit fresh rather than withering like your legs after ‘Squats Tuesday’.
5-13mins Stick the dry ingredients in a bowl and mix. Sprinkle on the nuts. This mixture can be stored in an airtight container for up to a week, so mix some more and you’ll be set for a week’s worth of spoon reps.
13-15mins Splash over the milk. Add more if you’re after quicker-wolfing wetness, less if you want some bite before crunch time at the gym. Finally, add the yoghurt and drizzle with honey.
Your body’s benefit
“The banana is full of slow-release carbs to fuel your workout. The rest of the fruit and oats make this high fibre as well as low GI, which combine for a steady supply of energy rather than a spike and crash,” says sports nutritionist Trevor Bedding. Which means you won’t bottom out when you’re at full tilt on the treadmill.
Boost your libido with home-made energy bars..
Without energy there’s no libido worth talking about. The rice crisps and honey in these energy bars (which should come free with all Agent Provocateur purchases) are full of vitamin B, which is vital for testosterone production. But the selenium-loaded Brazil nuts are the true powerhouses. And according to the University of Padua, in Italy, the key cause of male infertility is a diet low in this nutrient. Nuts to that!
Ingredients
80ml butter
75ml honey
100g brown sugar
200g brown rice crisps
10 Brazil nuts chopped
3tbsp chocolate chips
1/2tsp vanilla essence
Method
1. Mix the butter, honey and sugar in a pan. Bring to the boil while stirring over a medium heat. Keep it boiling and keep stirring for three minutes.
2. Measure the puffed brown rice crisps into a large bowl and add the Brazil nuts. Take the mixture off the heat and stir in the vanilla (it makes a great sound). Then pour the mixture over the rice crisps and stir until coated. Do this quickly as you don’t want it to start to firm up in the bowl.
3. Press into a greased pan and sprinkle the chocolate chips over the mixture. Once it’s cool, cut it into individual bars then serve. Stick Barry White on the stereo...
Ingredients
80ml butter
75ml honey
100g brown sugar
200g brown rice crisps
10 Brazil nuts chopped
3tbsp chocolate chips
1/2tsp vanilla essence
Method
1. Mix the butter, honey and sugar in a pan. Bring to the boil while stirring over a medium heat. Keep it boiling and keep stirring for three minutes.
2. Measure the puffed brown rice crisps into a large bowl and add the Brazil nuts. Take the mixture off the heat and stir in the vanilla (it makes a great sound). Then pour the mixture over the rice crisps and stir until coated. Do this quickly as you don’t want it to start to firm up in the bowl.
3. Press into a greased pan and sprinkle the chocolate chips over the mixture. Once it’s cool, cut it into individual bars then serve. Stick Barry White on the stereo...
Some Ramblings - Inside Job
"Of the rich, by the rich and for the rich" writes Srinivas Kachibhotla
At some point during the housing bubble crisis, which triggered world wide recession, it was estimated that the percentage of homeowners who could no longer pay their mortgages and so willfully walked away from their contractual obligation was a WHOPPING 6%. How could that be? How could a mere 6% hold the world hostage by bringing the financial system to its knees essentially shutting the system down? What about the other 94%? Could they not cover for the bad debts of their home owning brethren? A more pertinent question, what has mortgage crisis in US got to do with the financial systems of the rest of the world? 'Inside Job' is an in depth investigation of what is probably a financial conspiracy of epic proportions that involved the worst of everything in a capitalistic economic system - practices, governance, policies and regulation. In the aftermath of the tornado, when the world is still busy picking up the pieces, let alone start rebuilding, it becomes amply clear how collective dereliction of duties and abnegation of responsibilities at the highest levels can allow unchecked human greed to decide and dictate its survival and thriving ways and means, at the expense of the rest of the world, quite literally. And when the blame game starts to find one person, one party, one policy responsible for this horrid mess, the people at the top come together breaking ranks and party lines in a show of camaraderie and protect their flock, making sure that the most they got for ruining systems and lives is a little wrap on the wrists. But aren't those 6% contract breakers the real villains here, felling the first domino? Why blame the 'poor' Wall Street? And the rabbit-hole gets bigger, deeper and wider as the documentary turns its focus on all the key players in the conspiracy - bankers (investment and commercial), politicians, government regulators and even the academicians.
During the 80s, at the height of Reagan era deregulation/pro-market policies (who in fact (in)famously remarked, that government is not the solution to the problem, government is the problem), government oversight and regulation got handed its first defeat at the hands of intense lobbying of Wall Street's financial firms, which resulted in the merger of commercial and investment banks. So what's wrong with that, aren't both of them banks anyway? Simple, commercial banks which made its living by lending out the same money that people saved in their institutions went a step further and donned the role of a broker by betting (though it is termed quite misleadingly as investing) the money in the stock market for want of bigger and faster returns. It doesn't take a financial genius to predict the end result of such foolhardiness - Savings and Loans crisis, which brought down the banks and with them, the economy (and almost finished the career of the then Presidential hopeful senator who went by name of John McCain). One would imagine that the powers that be took a notice or two from the devastating effects and refrain from heading the same path with impunity again. Mark Twain once said, history does not repeat, it rhymes. So, not the same exact crisis, but a similar one, and with even more devastation the next time around. This time it was Mr. Clinton's time in the 90's. Buoyed by the economic success brought about by the technological and internet revolution, the government, at the behest of pandering politicians, relaxed the rules on owning a house, dubbing it as the ultimate realization of the American dream. And Wall Street, which was just dusting up falling hard on its face propping up facile internet companies and contributing to the dot-com bubble, found a new muse. Right up till that point, the Street, rightly or wrongly, speculated on real ideas, practices and innovations, be it in manufacturing, commodities and even internet. The crash of internet hit Wall Street firms, which by then got accustomed to double-digit growths and triple-digit index soars, hard. So how would the Street start marketing the oldest commodity in the world, land, in a new way to earn the same insane ROI's as the internet stocks delivered?
In hindsight, all the conditions were set right for the perfect storm - Wall Street still had some money to play around, after the internet crash and burn, and the real estate market was just steaming up, thanks to non-existent standards in lending practices and due diligence. Again conventional wisdom states that, bad economy or otherwise, if one can no longer a mortgage, the lending institution which owns the mortgage would evict the owner, take possession of the home, and put it back on the market and cover its losses. Right? WRONG. And here is where Wall Street should either be roundly applauded for its innovation or soundly vilified for its greed. Instead of letting the mortgage stay with the lending institution (bank), which in fact put up the money for the home in the first place, the geniuses at the financial firms figured a way of splitting the mortgage up and sell it as just any other stock in the market, essentially spreading the risk around, in case the mortgage failed. The practice was named, quite ironically, securitization. In this system of spread bets, no one institution owned up all the risks. The lending institutions opened up the flood gates on mortgage applications pairing people and houses, without checking any antecedents, as they washed their hands off them anyway, once the paperwork is finalized. No income, no problem, no job, not an issue, bad credit, just the right candidate. Sign here, here and initial there. That's all it took to own a home, the ability to sign at areas marked X. The financial firms then took those mortgages, sliced them up and put them up for sale on the trading floor. So what's in it for the lending and the financial firms, signing up as many people as they can attract? Commissions and fees. The mantra is simple - sign up by the hundreds of thousands and rake in billions.
But a question arises, when not all mortgages are created equal, how would an investor on the trading floor differentiate between a risky mortgage (signed by a near delinquent) to a relatively safe one (backed by one with a stable job). And the net widens, implicating the next player - rating agencies. These agencies, which are the final frontier in regulation, were supposed to investigate the inherent risks of the sliced and the bundled mortgages (called Collateral Debt Obligations - CDOs) and award ratings accordingly - AAA, safest for investment....down to DD (very risky) - which could affect their investment prospects. So where does conspiracy come in here? These rating agencies were paid by the financial firms into awarding stellar ratings even to substandard CDOs, just to push them out of the door and into the throats of the unwitting investors, as fast as they could bundle them up. The more CDOs the agencies rated, the more money they made in fees. So technically, when the mortgages went bad and people (those 6%) walked away from their homes, only the investors who bought those bad stocks should be affected. Why was the whole economy taken down? The risk taking didn't end there. Insurance companies were brought in the mix to hedge against those risks. Through another nefarious collusion of Wall Street and insurance companies, a new insurance instrument, called Credit Default Swap (CDS) was created, which acted like an insurance policy against those CDOs. So if the CDOs went bad, the firms which took CDS against the CDOs that they held and traded got paid. Standard operating procedure? WRONG AGAIN.
These are special insurance instruments, where one can bet (insure) for and against the same stock. So if the financial firm took out two insurance policies against the same CDO, one, for when the CDO went bad, and the other, betting that the CDO would indeed go bad, they got paid either way (Heads I win, tails you lose). But why would any insurance company, in its right mind, accept such a bargain, where it is bound in both the scenarios. One, the delusional hope that economy would never go bad and those mortgages would never fail and so would never have to pay those policies, and second, even more important, fees (premiums) on the mind-boggling volume. In the end, it was the volume that killed it all. It was the volume that incentivized such a risk tasking from the lending institutions to the financial firms, from the commercial banks to the insurance companies, that no one could say no to the millions and billions that poured it with little effort. And even more mind numbing fact about the CDS is that, ANYBODY, not just the holders of the CDO's, could bet against those financial instruments. With this last puzzle in place, the trading floor essentially became one giant casino, where anybody could bet on anything for any amount, with the little difference that the house made money, immaterial of a win or a loss. And then the economy tanked.
The free fall of investment banks, commercial banks, insurance companies, the employee pension funds that invested in the CDO's based on their stellar ratings, mutual funds, just about any stock that is even remotely connected to real estate, and with them the global economy that bet big on American real estate and stock market, gave a terrifying glimpse of how interconnected the system and how literal the figurative saying, about a flapping butterfly in Hawaii bringing about a tornado in Taiwan, was. The near bankrupt investment banks that bought, held and traded worthless CDOs made a run on the insurance firms trying to collect their amounts for failed CDOs. The risk for insurance companies soon turned for arithmetic to geometric, and from geometric to exponential in a matter of a couple of days, having gleefully accepted bets (premiums) on the same items for both the outcomes. And there definitely wasn't enough money in the system that could cover all the bets for varying outcomes. And when it was time to pay the Piper, Chapter 11 bankruptcy became the quick refuge. All lending stopped, and insecurity and distrust ruled the roost.
Where do politicians figure in this maelstrom? First, having pulled out all the door-stops on regulation and oversight, which could have if not prevented at least minimized the effect of the fraud of this magnitude from ever being perpetrated, the politicians played, yet again, into the hands of the financial industry and announced trillions of dollars of tax-payers' money as immediate relief, (falsely) claiming that these financial and insurance institutions were 'too big to fail'. And where did a portion of the money go towards - millions of dollars in bonuses and walk away monies, for financial and insurance executives who essentially ran the economy to the ground and ruined millions of lives.
The documentary is aptly titled 'Inside Job' as it has been one, right from the start, making full use of the loopholes of the system, exploiting every one of its weaknesses (buying influence through campaign contributions, affecting legislation through lobbying, and the biggest of all, having the same financial heads from those same financial firms who made some of the ruinous decisions earlier, at all the key positions in the government, irrespective of which party was in power), and maneuvering the administrative machinery to nicely fall in step with the wild, ambitious and even treacherous goals and plans of the financial industry. In the end, 'Inside Job' is a heartburn, a tragedy, a cautionary tale, a searing take on the serious miscarriage of regulation and oversight, to make it all a MUST WATCH. The takeaways, among many other things, can even be the cynical outlook that capitalism has always been and will remain one of the rich, by the rich and for the rich and the influential.
Remember the story from the local lore about the 7 princes and 7 fish? And the reason for the un-dried fish ultimately ends up because of some unrelated little kid putting his hand deep inside the anthill where it didn't belong? Now, was it really those 6% who ruined it for everybody, or a fat-cat in a black suit (Dick Fuld, head of Lehman brothers, for example, who made $485 million dollars in the year of the crisis) who mucked up the system?
At some point during the housing bubble crisis, which triggered world wide recession, it was estimated that the percentage of homeowners who could no longer pay their mortgages and so willfully walked away from their contractual obligation was a WHOPPING 6%. How could that be? How could a mere 6% hold the world hostage by bringing the financial system to its knees essentially shutting the system down? What about the other 94%? Could they not cover for the bad debts of their home owning brethren? A more pertinent question, what has mortgage crisis in US got to do with the financial systems of the rest of the world? 'Inside Job' is an in depth investigation of what is probably a financial conspiracy of epic proportions that involved the worst of everything in a capitalistic economic system - practices, governance, policies and regulation. In the aftermath of the tornado, when the world is still busy picking up the pieces, let alone start rebuilding, it becomes amply clear how collective dereliction of duties and abnegation of responsibilities at the highest levels can allow unchecked human greed to decide and dictate its survival and thriving ways and means, at the expense of the rest of the world, quite literally. And when the blame game starts to find one person, one party, one policy responsible for this horrid mess, the people at the top come together breaking ranks and party lines in a show of camaraderie and protect their flock, making sure that the most they got for ruining systems and lives is a little wrap on the wrists. But aren't those 6% contract breakers the real villains here, felling the first domino? Why blame the 'poor' Wall Street? And the rabbit-hole gets bigger, deeper and wider as the documentary turns its focus on all the key players in the conspiracy - bankers (investment and commercial), politicians, government regulators and even the academicians.
During the 80s, at the height of Reagan era deregulation/pro-market policies (who in fact (in)famously remarked, that government is not the solution to the problem, government is the problem), government oversight and regulation got handed its first defeat at the hands of intense lobbying of Wall Street's financial firms, which resulted in the merger of commercial and investment banks. So what's wrong with that, aren't both of them banks anyway? Simple, commercial banks which made its living by lending out the same money that people saved in their institutions went a step further and donned the role of a broker by betting (though it is termed quite misleadingly as investing) the money in the stock market for want of bigger and faster returns. It doesn't take a financial genius to predict the end result of such foolhardiness - Savings and Loans crisis, which brought down the banks and with them, the economy (and almost finished the career of the then Presidential hopeful senator who went by name of John McCain). One would imagine that the powers that be took a notice or two from the devastating effects and refrain from heading the same path with impunity again. Mark Twain once said, history does not repeat, it rhymes. So, not the same exact crisis, but a similar one, and with even more devastation the next time around. This time it was Mr. Clinton's time in the 90's. Buoyed by the economic success brought about by the technological and internet revolution, the government, at the behest of pandering politicians, relaxed the rules on owning a house, dubbing it as the ultimate realization of the American dream. And Wall Street, which was just dusting up falling hard on its face propping up facile internet companies and contributing to the dot-com bubble, found a new muse. Right up till that point, the Street, rightly or wrongly, speculated on real ideas, practices and innovations, be it in manufacturing, commodities and even internet. The crash of internet hit Wall Street firms, which by then got accustomed to double-digit growths and triple-digit index soars, hard. So how would the Street start marketing the oldest commodity in the world, land, in a new way to earn the same insane ROI's as the internet stocks delivered?
In hindsight, all the conditions were set right for the perfect storm - Wall Street still had some money to play around, after the internet crash and burn, and the real estate market was just steaming up, thanks to non-existent standards in lending practices and due diligence. Again conventional wisdom states that, bad economy or otherwise, if one can no longer a mortgage, the lending institution which owns the mortgage would evict the owner, take possession of the home, and put it back on the market and cover its losses. Right? WRONG. And here is where Wall Street should either be roundly applauded for its innovation or soundly vilified for its greed. Instead of letting the mortgage stay with the lending institution (bank), which in fact put up the money for the home in the first place, the geniuses at the financial firms figured a way of splitting the mortgage up and sell it as just any other stock in the market, essentially spreading the risk around, in case the mortgage failed. The practice was named, quite ironically, securitization. In this system of spread bets, no one institution owned up all the risks. The lending institutions opened up the flood gates on mortgage applications pairing people and houses, without checking any antecedents, as they washed their hands off them anyway, once the paperwork is finalized. No income, no problem, no job, not an issue, bad credit, just the right candidate. Sign here, here and initial there. That's all it took to own a home, the ability to sign at areas marked X. The financial firms then took those mortgages, sliced them up and put them up for sale on the trading floor. So what's in it for the lending and the financial firms, signing up as many people as they can attract? Commissions and fees. The mantra is simple - sign up by the hundreds of thousands and rake in billions.
But a question arises, when not all mortgages are created equal, how would an investor on the trading floor differentiate between a risky mortgage (signed by a near delinquent) to a relatively safe one (backed by one with a stable job). And the net widens, implicating the next player - rating agencies. These agencies, which are the final frontier in regulation, were supposed to investigate the inherent risks of the sliced and the bundled mortgages (called Collateral Debt Obligations - CDOs) and award ratings accordingly - AAA, safest for investment....down to DD (very risky) - which could affect their investment prospects. So where does conspiracy come in here? These rating agencies were paid by the financial firms into awarding stellar ratings even to substandard CDOs, just to push them out of the door and into the throats of the unwitting investors, as fast as they could bundle them up. The more CDOs the agencies rated, the more money they made in fees. So technically, when the mortgages went bad and people (those 6%) walked away from their homes, only the investors who bought those bad stocks should be affected. Why was the whole economy taken down? The risk taking didn't end there. Insurance companies were brought in the mix to hedge against those risks. Through another nefarious collusion of Wall Street and insurance companies, a new insurance instrument, called Credit Default Swap (CDS) was created, which acted like an insurance policy against those CDOs. So if the CDOs went bad, the firms which took CDS against the CDOs that they held and traded got paid. Standard operating procedure? WRONG AGAIN.
These are special insurance instruments, where one can bet (insure) for and against the same stock. So if the financial firm took out two insurance policies against the same CDO, one, for when the CDO went bad, and the other, betting that the CDO would indeed go bad, they got paid either way (Heads I win, tails you lose). But why would any insurance company, in its right mind, accept such a bargain, where it is bound in both the scenarios. One, the delusional hope that economy would never go bad and those mortgages would never fail and so would never have to pay those policies, and second, even more important, fees (premiums) on the mind-boggling volume. In the end, it was the volume that killed it all. It was the volume that incentivized such a risk tasking from the lending institutions to the financial firms, from the commercial banks to the insurance companies, that no one could say no to the millions and billions that poured it with little effort. And even more mind numbing fact about the CDS is that, ANYBODY, not just the holders of the CDO's, could bet against those financial instruments. With this last puzzle in place, the trading floor essentially became one giant casino, where anybody could bet on anything for any amount, with the little difference that the house made money, immaterial of a win or a loss. And then the economy tanked.
The free fall of investment banks, commercial banks, insurance companies, the employee pension funds that invested in the CDO's based on their stellar ratings, mutual funds, just about any stock that is even remotely connected to real estate, and with them the global economy that bet big on American real estate and stock market, gave a terrifying glimpse of how interconnected the system and how literal the figurative saying, about a flapping butterfly in Hawaii bringing about a tornado in Taiwan, was. The near bankrupt investment banks that bought, held and traded worthless CDOs made a run on the insurance firms trying to collect their amounts for failed CDOs. The risk for insurance companies soon turned for arithmetic to geometric, and from geometric to exponential in a matter of a couple of days, having gleefully accepted bets (premiums) on the same items for both the outcomes. And there definitely wasn't enough money in the system that could cover all the bets for varying outcomes. And when it was time to pay the Piper, Chapter 11 bankruptcy became the quick refuge. All lending stopped, and insecurity and distrust ruled the roost.
Where do politicians figure in this maelstrom? First, having pulled out all the door-stops on regulation and oversight, which could have if not prevented at least minimized the effect of the fraud of this magnitude from ever being perpetrated, the politicians played, yet again, into the hands of the financial industry and announced trillions of dollars of tax-payers' money as immediate relief, (falsely) claiming that these financial and insurance institutions were 'too big to fail'. And where did a portion of the money go towards - millions of dollars in bonuses and walk away monies, for financial and insurance executives who essentially ran the economy to the ground and ruined millions of lives.
The documentary is aptly titled 'Inside Job' as it has been one, right from the start, making full use of the loopholes of the system, exploiting every one of its weaknesses (buying influence through campaign contributions, affecting legislation through lobbying, and the biggest of all, having the same financial heads from those same financial firms who made some of the ruinous decisions earlier, at all the key positions in the government, irrespective of which party was in power), and maneuvering the administrative machinery to nicely fall in step with the wild, ambitious and even treacherous goals and plans of the financial industry. In the end, 'Inside Job' is a heartburn, a tragedy, a cautionary tale, a searing take on the serious miscarriage of regulation and oversight, to make it all a MUST WATCH. The takeaways, among many other things, can even be the cynical outlook that capitalism has always been and will remain one of the rich, by the rich and for the rich and the influential.
Remember the story from the local lore about the 7 princes and 7 fish? And the reason for the un-dried fish ultimately ends up because of some unrelated little kid putting his hand deep inside the anthill where it didn't belong? Now, was it really those 6% who ruined it for everybody, or a fat-cat in a black suit (Dick Fuld, head of Lehman brothers, for example, who made $485 million dollars in the year of the crisis) who mucked up the system?
FB leads to a roller coaster of emotions
Does Facebook makes you feel that everyone's having fun except you? You may be just overestimating your friends' happiness, suggests a new study.
A Stanford University research has suggested that when we misgauge our friends'' negative feelings, we feel worse about ourselves.
For the study, the researchers examined how college students evaluate their own mood and that of their peers. They foound students greatly underestimated other people's negative emotions, which in turn increased their own feelings of unhappiness because they felt "less normal."
"People think, "Why am I alone on a Saturday night or why I am not in a relationship?" he said. "When people overestimate the happiness of friends, they felt more negatively about their own lives," ABC News quoted lead researcher Alex Jordan, a social psychologist, as saying.
The researchers also found that the majority of students were unable to accurately gauge others' happiness even when they were evaluating the moods of people they knew well. Not surprisingly, the more students underestimated others' negative emotions, the more they tended to report feeling lonely.
Junior Kayla Dellefratte from Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. logs off Facebook when she begins to feel frustrated with what she is seeing.
"I see one of my friends living life, their own life, and I feel like stalking their photos is like I'm not living. It's not a great feeling," she said.
Catalina Toma, a communications professor at the University of Wisconsin believes passive Facebook consumption (such as monitoring your friends' newsfeeds) can leave people feeling lonelier than before they logged on.
"People naturally compare themselves to those around them, a process known as social comparison. If you perceive yourself to be doing better than your friends in an area that is important for you the social comparison will make you feel good. However, if you think your friends surpass you in an area that's important to your self-concept, you will likely feel dejected as a result of the comparison," she wrote in an e-mail.
A Stanford University research has suggested that when we misgauge our friends'' negative feelings, we feel worse about ourselves.
For the study, the researchers examined how college students evaluate their own mood and that of their peers. They foound students greatly underestimated other people's negative emotions, which in turn increased their own feelings of unhappiness because they felt "less normal."
"People think, "Why am I alone on a Saturday night or why I am not in a relationship?" he said. "When people overestimate the happiness of friends, they felt more negatively about their own lives," ABC News quoted lead researcher Alex Jordan, a social psychologist, as saying.
The researchers also found that the majority of students were unable to accurately gauge others' happiness even when they were evaluating the moods of people they knew well. Not surprisingly, the more students underestimated others' negative emotions, the more they tended to report feeling lonely.
Junior Kayla Dellefratte from Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. logs off Facebook when she begins to feel frustrated with what she is seeing.
"I see one of my friends living life, their own life, and I feel like stalking their photos is like I'm not living. It's not a great feeling," she said.
Catalina Toma, a communications professor at the University of Wisconsin believes passive Facebook consumption (such as monitoring your friends' newsfeeds) can leave people feeling lonelier than before they logged on.
"People naturally compare themselves to those around them, a process known as social comparison. If you perceive yourself to be doing better than your friends in an area that is important for you the social comparison will make you feel good. However, if you think your friends surpass you in an area that's important to your self-concept, you will likely feel dejected as a result of the comparison," she wrote in an e-mail.
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