Love actually...................

'You will never be loved the way you are loved now! You never have been and you never will be...'

Heart-rendering emotions captured in a few words by a writer, who means nothing to me or you, but strikes a deep chord with these very words of his!

A magical concoction, an inebriating mix, a pleasurable dilemma, a source of pain and misery, a plethora of phrases like these have failed to describe what we call 'Love'!

What is it that makes this much venerated and equally much maligned and abused word a necessity? What gives it the charm that it possesses? The mystical allusion it holds over my senses is something I find hard to explain!

If those candy floss moments of the past were what we would popularly refer to as 'Love' then what category do my present influx of feelings belong to? I desperately turn within for answers but fail miserably! Caring, affection and possessiveness are basic tenets that form the larger ideation of romance.

A much quoted platitude states that to give is love, love is selfless! I apologize to whomsoever it may concern for accepting audaciously that I am selfish enough to be greedy for it! I don't intend to get there by force of any kind, but I need to feel cherished! I am human enough to demand so! I will give my all provided I am sure of my place in that person's life!

The above statement would give a huge boost to my ego and what we call self respect only for the sad reality that I like many others, succumb to the vision of the promised oasis and hence end up falling head on without heeding the shallowness or the depth of the pit I am letting myself in!

Emotions rule me and every fibre of my being lets go of all strains of egotistical mores to blatantly accept my humbled position in front of the one, who might or might not deign to cast a look in my direction!

Categorize me as weak, shun me for being an emotional fool, ridicule me for being a loser but I am in love and no force can take away my right to care, to feel worried, to be concerned! I revel in feeling the pangs of jealousy, I revel in sadness and immense desperation that envelopes me at times! But at least I feel! At least I have it in me to accept it! As long as I can feel, I will never be alone and miserable! As long as I can feel, I will always be able to move on!

Misery or pain is always better than a hollow vacuum. Luminous moments surge through my memory, where a simple touch said it all! I cherish the times when though unaware of doing so, he made my day! I don't rue the fact that he doesn't feel the same way, as I am safe and sure in the knowledge that I don't stand to loose! What I have to give is something no one will be able to give him! What I have to share is unique to me and thus the person who misses out on it is the one who is at the losing end!

This is what keeps me going. The multihued silence of incandescent moments is what I need in order to sustain myself! As long as I get them, I know I am fine! The day I stop feeling, the day I don't end up crying will be the day people around me should be well advised to worry about my sanity!!

'He drew a circle that shut me out! Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout! But love and I had the wit to win. We drew a circle that took him in!'

So, giddy up fellow romantics, it is not all that hopeless to be hopelessly in love!!!!!!!