You may know Mark Twain for some of
his very popular books, but what you may not know is how much of a bad
ass he was at living life. Here are a few tips for living an awesome
life from Mark Twain.
“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”
“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”
You may know Mark Twain for some of his very
popular books like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of
Tom Sawyer. He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer.
Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favourite tips from him.
1. Approve of yourself.
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
If you don’t approve of yourself, of your
behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day
with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve
of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to
do more of what you really want.
This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle
in personal growth. You may have all the right tools to grow in some
way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.
What you may be bumping into there are
success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what
you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are
capable of. They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of
person that could this thing that you’re attempting.
Or if you make some headway in the direction
you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself
in a place that is familiar for you.
So you need give yourself approval and allow
yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from
others. But from yourself. To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of
that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take
time.
2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
So many limitations are mostly in our minds.
We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too
tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think
they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what
people may think.
And people pick up on that and may react in
negative ways. Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative
reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused
inward on yourself.
If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then
people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you
won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your
life.
It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.
3. Lighten up and have some fun.
“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”
“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”
Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They
can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can
lighten the mood just about anywhere.
And a lighter mood is often a better space to
work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with
negative emotions. When you are more light-hearted and relaxed then the
solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and
implement. Have a look at Lighten Up! for more on this topic.
4. Let go of anger.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
Anger is most of the time pretty pointless.
It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish
perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the
person s/he’s angry at.
So even if you feel angry at someone for days
recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person
may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her. So either
talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger
as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more
pleasurable.
5. Release yourself from entitlement.
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
When you are young your mom and dad may give a
lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement.
You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that
it owes you something.
This belief can cause a lot of anger and
frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect
it to. On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that
it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what
you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the
world to give you something.
You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.
6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.
“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”
I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement.
If you start to change or do something
different than you usually do then people may react in different ways.
Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled
or react in negative and discouraging ways.
Much of these reactions are probably not so
much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How
they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and
judgements they make.
And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely
that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will
probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty
soon.
So what other people may say and think and
letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you
build in your mind.
You may find that when you finally cross that
inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or
go chasing after you with pitchforks. They might just go: “OK”.
7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.
“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”
What you focus your mind on greatly
determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell
in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive
in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your
mind on something entirely else.
It may be “normal” to dwell on problems and
swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought
habit. You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of
refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to
build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you
put your focus.
8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”
This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip.
But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about
yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.
This is a great way to look at things to
create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between
people. You help someone and both of you feel good. The person you
helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to
want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping
each other.
Those positive feelings are contagious to
other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the
help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help
another friend. And so the upward spiral grows and continues.
9. Do what you want to do.
“Twenty years from now you will be more
disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did
so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the
trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much
to add to that one. Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily
reminder – on your fridge or bathroom door – of what you can actually do
with your life.
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