Women say no to one-night stands

For men, wham-bam-thank you maam romps are all in a day’s work. For women, it’s wham-bam-no thank you sir!

Of late, the world at large and women especially have been rejoicing in their new found sexual freedom, courtesy the female condom which has been seen as a step towards women’s emancipation. For the female condom connotes power and the freedom to enjoy sex without fear or anxiety raising their ugly heads the morning after.

Women have also been rejoicing about their sexual prowess and how liberated they have become in the bedroom. Movies like Sex and the City are credited with fuelling another sexual revolution where women are enjoying the same freedom as men.

But according to a new study, most women do not actually want it. They feel bad about one-night-stands, which is usually followed with a morning crammed with a sense of guilt. Most women even feel used and are more worried about what other people will think if they find out.

As a result women, unlike men, find the experience less sexually satisfying. And if at all getting close to a man is on her mind, it’s only if she’s feels that the bond is strong enough to see many a dawns in her life...

According to Professor Anne Campbell from Durham University in the UK, the negative feelings reported by women after one-night stands suggest that they are not well adapted to fleeting sexual encounters. To test the theory, a total of 1743 men and women who had experienced a one-night stand were asked to rate both their positive and negative feelings the following morning, in an internet survey. The results showed that overall women’s feelings were more negative than men’s.
“Deep down inside, finding a secure base is a fundamental trait of a human being. And this need is stronger in females than males and she knows that. She also knows that a free bird does not remain a healthy bird for long, so there is a stronger feeling of guilt among women,” explains psychologist Samir Parikh.

“Girls are born and brought up in a secure emotional cocoon, which if at all they break by getting into an alliance like this, does hit them harder than the man who had an equally big involvement in the act,” says TV actress Karishma Tanna.

According to Dr. Aruna Broota the age of a woman is an important factor to consider in such cases. “For girls in their early teens, who are in no mood to get into a long term relationship, a one-night stand is just a fun thing and they have no qualms while indulging in the occasional romp. But as a woman grows older, a feeling of guilt starts seeping in and they try to pick one man for a long term relationship, out of the many they have had sexual encounters with.”

Unlike men who are more likely to brag about the experience to their friends, women are consumed with guilt that they may have seriously damaged their reputations. According to Dr. Broota, a 19-year-old girl who came to her for counselling was engulfed in feelings of regret and feared what people may think of her: “I need to talk to someone. But I cannot. Sometimes I feel I’m breaking away from my bonds. People might point out at me branding me as bad.”

In fact, contrary to popular belief, the study finds that women did not seem to view taking part in casual sex as a prelude to long-term relationships. According to the research, published in the journal Human Nature, women are not well adapted to fleeting sexual encounters and instead prefer 'quality to quantity'.