If there's one thing that has always kept men wondering about women, it has to be figuring out what they love to hear? Most men would agree that when it comes to compliments and sweet nothings, women can never have enough of it. The more they get, the more they want!
So, all that you need to do to impress her is - simply tell her all that she already knows. Yes! Strange but true - whether you are in a committed relationship or worried about her losing interest in you or are an amateur wanting to take your relationship to the next level, here's a complete guide to help you learn exactly what she wants to hear...
'You look gorgeous!'
If one could list down three things that women can't live without - they would probably be - good food, a wardrobe to die for and hearty compliments. So, don't be stingy when it comes to wooing her with a shower of compliments. The more you give, the more you are likely to get in return. Say all that she has been dying to hear - whether it is about her looks, her attire, her figure, professionalism at work or her culinary skills. Anudita Mishra, 34, a homemaker says, "I love to be showered with compliments as I think most women do. It gives my ego a boost when my hubby says, 'This dress suits you', or something like - 'You look prettier than any of those ladies I know' or saying, 'I wonder how you look so sexy even in your 30s!' It just makes me feel good about myself.'
Hear say: Dr. Sushma Dayal, a clinical psychologist says, "Each of us like to receive compliments as it improves our self-image. It helps us to get rid of our inhibitions, acts as a motivation and helps us enhance our personality."
'You are the first woman in my life'
Saying this would certainly assure your girl that you are a 'one woman man' and that you don't keep hopping from one girlfriend to another. This is bound to put her on a pedestal and it will prove to be effective particularly in a long-term relationship. Be careful not to flatter her. Say this only when you mean it so that she never questions your loyalty.
Abhay Bajaj, 26, a marketing professional says, "When I told my girlfriend that she is the first woman in my life, she was utterly surprised. It's funny, but I believe most women have a myth that guys are rarely committed to a single woman. Once she was convinced, she was able to free herself from all insecurities and was head over heels for me."
Hear say: Archana Nanda, a psychologist opines, "Telling a woman that she is the first person you have been so close to is sure to elevate her self-esteem and assure her of your faithfulness. But one shouldn't do this just to just to flatter a woman, say it only when you mean it from the bottom of your heart. It will rip your relationship apart if she finds out that you kept her in the dark about your real emotions."
'You are great in bed'
This is sure to make her feel like a sex goddess and sweep away all the inhibitions she had about her performance between the sheets. Praising her performance in bed and telling her that she is simply irresistible, is sure to set the momentum for a sizzling act later. The more you elevate and understand her sexuality, the more willing she will be to explore her wildest fantasies.
Don't just be grateful for every little effort that she puts to turn you on - say it aloud!
Anant Joshi, 29, (name changed on request) says, "A few months ago I complimented my wife for her performance in bed and I think that was the greatest turn on for her since then. She's now more experimental and also more open to my sexual advances. I think it's not just men but women too who like to be appreciated for the efforts they make in the bedroom."
Hear say: Sunil Garg, an expert on sex-related issues states, "You are sure to boost to a woman's sexuality when you tell her that she was super in the act. It will want her to explore more of herself and not just you. She will be able to connect with you in a sexual context."
'You'll make a great mother'
Most women look forward to having kids, but also tend to doubt themselves when it comes to being a good mother. Saying this is bound to put her on cloud nine - particularly when her man thinks she has all that it takes to be a nurturing mother. In a way, you'll also be assuring her of your commitment and that you would like to bring up your kids with her. Ritu Jaiswal, 27, who got married a year ago, confesses, "It was my husband who made me comfortable with the idea of parenthood. I was always scared of having kids, but he made me feel at ease by assuring me that I'll be a good mother and will do an excellent job as a parent. I am now expecting my first child."
Hear say: "It's important to assure a woman that she will be a good mother and that she has qualities like compassion and endurance being a good parent. This will make her believe in herself and also prepare her for the new role," adds Dr. Sushma.
'Will you spend your life with me?'
Most women tend to be ultra sensitive and by saying this you are bound to play music on the chords of her heart. You will also affirm to her that you are not just playing around with her, but are actually looking forward to spending your entire life with her. Tell her how incomplete your life would be without her and that she has now become an indispensable part of your existence. Don't be surprised if you find her smiling for days!
Richa Nanda, 25, who works with an advertising agency in Delhi confesses, "I had been dating a guy for the last six months. We work in the same office. Although I like him very much, I was a bit reluctant to commit to him prematurely. He recently asked me whether I would like to get married to him and it was then that I made up my mind. I was convinced that he is genuinely interested in me and would like to take the relationship further."
Hear say: "I think this is the most difficult thing to ask a woman. It is a very important question and it means asking her for a long-term commitment. So, it is important to be sure before you speak your mind," adds Archana.
'What do you think about .............?'
Ask for her opinion - whether it is about buying a new car or simply about what you should wear to office. By doing this, you are not just asserting that her opinion is important to you, but also that you respect her views. And if you are still in doubt, just remember that women love to express their views on whatever it may be - so let her speak for longer than you may want to hear and let her be the diva who knows it all!
Kanika Shrivastava, 28, who works with a telecom company in Delhi agrees, "I feel really special when my boyfriend asks for my opinion. It boosts my ego. He consults me before taking any major decisions - whether it is regarding his career or investments. I appreciate the fact that he values me not just for my looks but also my brains."
Hear say: "It's important for a woman to believe that she is an important part of the decision making process. Asking her for advice - no matter how big or small the decision - makes her feel special and respected," adds Dr. Sushma.
'You are my dearest pal'
Want to assure her that you are the kind of man who's not just with her for her glam looks and her hourglass figure? Well, then all you need to do is to tell her that she is not just the love of your life, but also your dearest friend. Try to establish a connection beyond your sexual interest in her. This is sure to give her ego the much required boost and score you brownie points.
Namita Goswami, 21, a college student says, "The best thing that my boyfriend has ever told me is that he considers me his best friend. Although he has many gal pals, but when it comes to sharing anything special, I am the one he comes to. It is great to find your best friend in your partner."
Hear say: Manmeet Bhalla, a marriage and relationship counselor opines, "Being a woman's friend is the first step to winning her over. It is important for a woman to believe that she means much more to you than just being your wife or your girlfriend. What she needs to feel is that you count on her - when you are in a problem or a dilemma, when you need advice, when you need a shoulder to cry on."
'I am lucky to have you'
Tell her that she is the only one for you. If not her, you would probably have still been single. Women love to be with men who are amiable and there is no better way to tell her that you are a true gentleman than to thank her for being the person that she is. Tell her that your life is beautiful only because she is a part of it. Don't be surprised if you find her blushing.
Amit Malhotra, 24, a sales executive says, "A year ago, I just told my girlfriend how special she is to me and how lucky I feel to have her in my life and she was thrilled to hear that. Since then I have realised how important it is to be expressive with women."
Hear say: "Telling a woman that she is your lucky charm is a sure shot way to pamper her. It makes her feel that you have not just accepted her in your life, but you are also grateful to her for her presence. It is the most gratifying thought for a woman," adds Manmeet.
'You know what's on my mind'
Want to make her feel like a supreme goddess? Well, then all you need to do is tell her that she knows what's on your mind before even having to tell her. Whether it is preparing your favourite dish for dinner, buying a gift that you had wanted to buy for yourself or the intensity with which she turns you on in bed. Once she is convinced she knows you better than you do, she won't mind giving you more than you have asked for.
Madhuri Bhargava, 35, senior manager in a private bank in Noida shares, "I have been married for nine years and my husband always tells me that I know him better than he knows himself, or perhaps even his mom does. It makes me feel exceptionally good when he says that. It attaches with itself a sense of belonging to someone and that is what matters the most to me."
Hear say: "Women generally like to be pampered by saying that they know it all. It's important to convince her that she knows everything about you. It will help keep the spark in your relationship alive," says Dr. Sushma.
'I love you'
Even though you have said it in every possible way - women place much more importance to these three magical words. So, make sure you say it at the right place and the right time, but when she is least expecting it. Wondering why? Who doesn't love surprises? Especially if you are in a committed relationship, make sure you say it even more often.
"I was thrilled when my boyfriend recently proposed to me. Although I knew that he loves me right from the beginning, but I was just waiting for him to pop the question and say those three special words. I had been dying to hear it from him since a year. It was the most memorable moment of my life," says Shruti, 23, a management student.
Hear say: "There's nothing better that a woman would want to hear from her man. No matter how much you say it through your actions but most women like men who are expressive. It is very important to say what you feel to keep the romance alive. The more often you say, the better it is," says Manmeet.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Kamasutra, for perfect bonding
The ancient manual to love-making is not restricted to only the physical aspect of your relationship. It also holds the key to a healthy emotional bond with your partner.
The notion that Kamasutra speaks solely of the physical aspect of sex is extremely skewed. The purpose of Kamasutra was not merely to educate masses about different sexual techniques, but promote a healthy relationship between the partners and constructively use sexual energy. Several Western (and even some Indian) authors, interpreters and commentators have paid attention only to the sexual / physicality aspect, leading to the scripture's misrepresentation. However, look deeper and the teachings of Kamasutra go far beyond sex
The purpose of Kamasutra was not merely to educate masses about different sexual techniques, but promote a healthy relationship between the partners and constructively use sexual energy. Several Western (and even some Indian) authors, interpreters and commentators have paid attention only to the sexual / physicality aspect, leading to the scripture's misrepresentation. However, look deeper and the teachings of Kamasutra go far beyond sex
Participation
Many positions (Asanaas) depicted in the Kamasutra call for active and equal participation of the woman. Rather than sticking to the monotonous / boring missionary position where the woman is a rather passive receiver, the scripture encourages more pro-active positions. Only when there's an equal contribution from both ends will the session truly be fulfilling and fruitful. There's no posture that's meant exclusively for the man, or the woman.
The message: Be it sex or any other matter; ensure that you equally involve your partner. Participation is the key word. When you seek an active role from your partner, (in and out of bed) he/she feels wanted and the synergy between the two leads to greater fulfilment. That's what samabhog (equal pleasure) is all about.
Body image Vs. the body
The varied techniques depicted in the scriptures make sex pleasurable for anyone irrespective of his/her body type and body shape. The person may be muscular, obese, or thin, body issues and pleasure are best not mixed, says Kamasutra.
The message: Work on your body image. You can still make the best of your body provided you stop having unrealistic expectations of how it should look. Acceptance is the word. Magazine covers may be flooded with images of perfect bodies, but don't let them sway you away from realism. Don't let negative body image play spoilsport in your life, sex
Touch matters
The Kamasutra lays a lot of importance on touch, and not only during intercourse. Going by the texts, touch is of varied forms, each designated to arouse a unique sensation from the partner depending on his/her liking. However, the role of touch starts from the foreplay stage itself (at times, the foreplay lasting for hours together) and continues till the very end.
The message: Do not undermine the power of small. That casual hug or the loving caress (initiated much before sex can say a lot more about your feelings than the act itself. The touch may not even lead to anything, but is a very potent method of conveying your emotions. It will do more good to your relationship than most other things.
Dress to impress
The scriptures' emphasis on shringaar cannot be undermined. Almost every character shown in the act in Kamasutra is embellished with elaborate ornaments. This includes men.
The message: While it does depict the culture and traditions of the time when these texts were written, the underlying idea is that of looking good and dressing up for your partner. Many couples after a few years of courting lose the urge to look good (for each other).
However, that's wrong. Just like you take the effort to dress up for a certain occasion, it is important to look at least presentable (if not great) for your partner. Do not undermine the importance of how you look. Get rid of the complacent attitude. It communicates that your partner is not important any more.
Go play
The scriptures pay a lot of importance on the fun element of sex. That is what converts a rather boring, mechanical session to something that a couple looks forward to. Try all the experimenting you want. If the fun element is missing, there's little that you can do.
The message: Learn to have fun with each other. Start by non-sexual activities and build a rapport. Play games, travel together, discuss movies, and find stimulating conversations. When fun becomes easy, no matter what the occasion, the joy will by default be communicated to other aspects of the relationship as well.
The Kamasutra also has advice on ways of making money and renewing friendship with a former lover
The notion that Kamasutra speaks solely of the physical aspect of sex is extremely skewed. The purpose of Kamasutra was not merely to educate masses about different sexual techniques, but promote a healthy relationship between the partners and constructively use sexual energy. Several Western (and even some Indian) authors, interpreters and commentators have paid attention only to the sexual / physicality aspect, leading to the scripture's misrepresentation. However, look deeper and the teachings of Kamasutra go far beyond sex
The purpose of Kamasutra was not merely to educate masses about different sexual techniques, but promote a healthy relationship between the partners and constructively use sexual energy. Several Western (and even some Indian) authors, interpreters and commentators have paid attention only to the sexual / physicality aspect, leading to the scripture's misrepresentation. However, look deeper and the teachings of Kamasutra go far beyond sex
Participation
Many positions (Asanaas) depicted in the Kamasutra call for active and equal participation of the woman. Rather than sticking to the monotonous / boring missionary position where the woman is a rather passive receiver, the scripture encourages more pro-active positions. Only when there's an equal contribution from both ends will the session truly be fulfilling and fruitful. There's no posture that's meant exclusively for the man, or the woman.
The message: Be it sex or any other matter; ensure that you equally involve your partner. Participation is the key word. When you seek an active role from your partner, (in and out of bed) he/she feels wanted and the synergy between the two leads to greater fulfilment. That's what samabhog (equal pleasure) is all about.
Body image Vs. the body
The varied techniques depicted in the scriptures make sex pleasurable for anyone irrespective of his/her body type and body shape. The person may be muscular, obese, or thin, body issues and pleasure are best not mixed, says Kamasutra.
The message: Work on your body image. You can still make the best of your body provided you stop having unrealistic expectations of how it should look. Acceptance is the word. Magazine covers may be flooded with images of perfect bodies, but don't let them sway you away from realism. Don't let negative body image play spoilsport in your life, sex
Touch matters
The Kamasutra lays a lot of importance on touch, and not only during intercourse. Going by the texts, touch is of varied forms, each designated to arouse a unique sensation from the partner depending on his/her liking. However, the role of touch starts from the foreplay stage itself (at times, the foreplay lasting for hours together) and continues till the very end.
The message: Do not undermine the power of small. That casual hug or the loving caress (initiated much before sex can say a lot more about your feelings than the act itself. The touch may not even lead to anything, but is a very potent method of conveying your emotions. It will do more good to your relationship than most other things.
Dress to impress
The scriptures' emphasis on shringaar cannot be undermined. Almost every character shown in the act in Kamasutra is embellished with elaborate ornaments. This includes men.
The message: While it does depict the culture and traditions of the time when these texts were written, the underlying idea is that of looking good and dressing up for your partner. Many couples after a few years of courting lose the urge to look good (for each other).
However, that's wrong. Just like you take the effort to dress up for a certain occasion, it is important to look at least presentable (if not great) for your partner. Do not undermine the importance of how you look. Get rid of the complacent attitude. It communicates that your partner is not important any more.
Go play
The scriptures pay a lot of importance on the fun element of sex. That is what converts a rather boring, mechanical session to something that a couple looks forward to. Try all the experimenting you want. If the fun element is missing, there's little that you can do.
The message: Learn to have fun with each other. Start by non-sexual activities and build a rapport. Play games, travel together, discuss movies, and find stimulating conversations. When fun becomes easy, no matter what the occasion, the joy will by default be communicated to other aspects of the relationship as well.
The Kamasutra also has advice on ways of making money and renewing friendship with a former lover
Friday, May 27, 2011
Happy being single forever
They are smart and funny. Wherever they go, they tend to strike a chord in women's hearts. Yet, they stay away from commitment and are happy being single and forever ready to mingle.
That is just how they like it. Media professional Rahul Sharma says it's great to be single. "It's cool as you don't have to worry about being in a binding relationship. You have the freedom to do what you want. And since you're not tied down to anyone, you have the opportunity to meet many women. You can use this opportunity to have a nice fling," he winks.
Many men believe that being a bachelor allows them to be more expressive and live life to the fullest. IT professional Aneet Jhaveri is one such guy. "I like being single as you don't have the burden of putting someone else's needs and desires before your own. I love to travel, and experience cities through their nightlife and restaurants. I make it a point to visit cities within the country and abroad at least once a year. I don't think I would have been able to do that if I was married with a wife and kids."
For some, it is not so much a choice but simply a part of life. Marketing manager Rohit Kapoor is a typical single and available guy who loves hanging out with his friends at his favourite bar and has had many relationships. "I always knew that I wasn't the kind of person who would get into a serious relationship. I like it this way. And I have made some cool friends along the way."
When Bryan Adams sang 18 Till I Die he would have hardly imagined that many guys would make it the motto of their lives. At least this is what seems when you speak to interior designer Akash Roy. He enjoys being single, and says that it's all about feeling young. "No one can say that being married with a family is an easy task. Being single gives me the opportunity to live every single dream of mine and not worry about responsibilities. I can take risks, and I don't have to worry about ruining someone else's life."
While many people may shy away from the concept of bachelorhood always, these men are embracing the joys of single hood happily.
(Names have been changed to protect privacy)
sanat.savanal@timesgroup.com
That is just how they like it. Media professional Rahul Sharma says it's great to be single. "It's cool as you don't have to worry about being in a binding relationship. You have the freedom to do what you want. And since you're not tied down to anyone, you have the opportunity to meet many women. You can use this opportunity to have a nice fling," he winks.
Many men believe that being a bachelor allows them to be more expressive and live life to the fullest. IT professional Aneet Jhaveri is one such guy. "I like being single as you don't have the burden of putting someone else's needs and desires before your own. I love to travel, and experience cities through their nightlife and restaurants. I make it a point to visit cities within the country and abroad at least once a year. I don't think I would have been able to do that if I was married with a wife and kids."
For some, it is not so much a choice but simply a part of life. Marketing manager Rohit Kapoor is a typical single and available guy who loves hanging out with his friends at his favourite bar and has had many relationships. "I always knew that I wasn't the kind of person who would get into a serious relationship. I like it this way. And I have made some cool friends along the way."
When Bryan Adams sang 18 Till I Die he would have hardly imagined that many guys would make it the motto of their lives. At least this is what seems when you speak to interior designer Akash Roy. He enjoys being single, and says that it's all about feeling young. "No one can say that being married with a family is an easy task. Being single gives me the opportunity to live every single dream of mine and not worry about responsibilities. I can take risks, and I don't have to worry about ruining someone else's life."
While many people may shy away from the concept of bachelorhood always, these men are embracing the joys of single hood happily.
(Names have been changed to protect privacy)
sanat.savanal@timesgroup.com
10 Things women wish men understood
Women and men are as different as chalk and cheese. Men always find it difficult to understand women. Or so they proclaim.
But believe us, we are not that difficult to understand. Just try to keep the communication channel open and see how things fall into their place. Here's a guide of some of the things women wish men automatically understood (and remember it's neither astro-physics nor micro-biology).
1. We know men are low in EQ (Emotional Quotient) but make an effort to understand emotions. But remember we don't like men who can't control their emotions. Cry babies (oops men) are not what we are exactly looking at in life..
2. When we talk, pay attention to what we are saying. Don't just nod your head and continue watching the cricket match on television.
3. Your mother might be great in the kitchen and can whip up gourmet dishes in no time. But sorry we can't go on listening to your running commentary on her remarkable culinary skills.
4. We believe in the power of communication. So, talk, fight but don't just go into 'silent' mode. Leave that mode to your mobile phones.
5 All of us love a dash of chivalry in our partners. So be courteous and show us that you are well brought-up.
6 Don't brag. Showing off really acts against you. Be subtle about your fat pay packet, your swanky car and the like. That shows your class.
7. Don't think that you own us. So, behave accordingly. Like men folk, we also like our own space.
8. Romance comes naturally to us. We love it when a man expresses his love. So, please show us that you love. Say it through flowers, dinners, gifts and of course count surprises as an important element of our DNA. Understand these basic points and act accordingly
9. Don't try to give us lessons on moral science. And for heaven's sake don't comment on a low-neckline dress. That's a very cheap thing to do.
10. Don't crack jokes on our family members, close friends. Show your great sense of humour with a touch of sensibility..
But believe us, we are not that difficult to understand. Just try to keep the communication channel open and see how things fall into their place. Here's a guide of some of the things women wish men automatically understood (and remember it's neither astro-physics nor micro-biology).
1. We know men are low in EQ (Emotional Quotient) but make an effort to understand emotions. But remember we don't like men who can't control their emotions. Cry babies (oops men) are not what we are exactly looking at in life..
2. When we talk, pay attention to what we are saying. Don't just nod your head and continue watching the cricket match on television.
3. Your mother might be great in the kitchen and can whip up gourmet dishes in no time. But sorry we can't go on listening to your running commentary on her remarkable culinary skills.
4. We believe in the power of communication. So, talk, fight but don't just go into 'silent' mode. Leave that mode to your mobile phones.
5 All of us love a dash of chivalry in our partners. So be courteous and show us that you are well brought-up.
6 Don't brag. Showing off really acts against you. Be subtle about your fat pay packet, your swanky car and the like. That shows your class.
7. Don't think that you own us. So, behave accordingly. Like men folk, we also like our own space.
8. Romance comes naturally to us. We love it when a man expresses his love. So, please show us that you love. Say it through flowers, dinners, gifts and of course count surprises as an important element of our DNA. Understand these basic points and act accordingly
9. Don't try to give us lessons on moral science. And for heaven's sake don't comment on a low-neckline dress. That's a very cheap thing to do.
10. Don't crack jokes on our family members, close friends. Show your great sense of humour with a touch of sensibility..
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Kissing secrets to build passion
Kissing is probably one of the best things you can do with your lips. It's not just the most passionate way of getting close to your partner, it's also something that enlightens your mood and adds zing to your love life.
So, what comes to your mind when you first think of kissing? A peck on the cheek or a passionate French kiss? Well, if you want to explore what turns on your mate or simply add creativity to your kissing techniques, here are some lip smacking ideas ...
Reverse lip kiss – Remember the sensuous kiss exchanged between Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst in Spiderman ? You can re-create the sizzling kiss with your partner. Of course you can't hang upside down like the famed super hero, so kiss your partner when he/she is lying down or seated. Come from behind and have them tilt their head backwards. Lower down your head and gently kiss their lower lip and feel your partner breathe on your neck. Abhishek, who works with a software company in Mumbai says, "My girlfriend really took me by surprise when I was working on my laptop. She came from behind, tilted my head backwards and gave me a kiss upside-down while I could feel her hair tickle my neck. I must confess I was quite impressed with her initiative and it really turned me on."
Underwater kiss – Dive to the bottom of the swimming pool, embrace your lover under water and suck in as if you were sucking air from their mouth. Leave them gasping for breath just for a few seconds. By the time you run out of air, reach the top, breathe and get set for the act again. If you are a guy, just pull your babe up above the water, while remaining in the pool and gently caress her thighs while rolling your tongue around her navel to provide the ultimate erotic sensation. Ashish Singh (name changed on request) says, "I would love to lock lips with my girlfriend under water. I love water sports and I think it would just add to the sizzling underwater action. What can be more sensuous?"
Ring kiss – When you and your partner are sitting together on a couch or lazing in bed, gently hold his hand and start kissing. Then smoothly, suck a ring out of his finger with the help of your teeth. Roll your tongue and slide the ring slightly to hold it around your tongue. Then share a passionate kiss by rolling the tip of your tongue to trace his lips. Let him suck the ring from your tongue and you can try stealing it again, it will heat up the scene.
Foot kiss - This one's not just amorous, but also an erotic gesture. Gently move your fingers on his/her bare foot. It may tickle your partner initially, but relax and enjoy the sensations! Then, gently kiss her foot and suck her toes. You can make the act even more intense by rolling an ice cube on her foot as you gradually move the cube up her legs and then to her inner thighs. "My partner turns me on by massaging my foot. He rubs his thumbs in circular motions from the heel to the toe and then sucks my toes one by one. Some people think it's kinky, but you have to try it to believe it. It works for me and it's even more fun if you do it in the 69 position and face each other's feet," says newly married Meenakshi (name changed on request) .
Nip kiss - When you kiss your partner next time, gently nibble on his/her lips. Be careful not to bite too hard and hurt them though. While smooching on one's lips is enjoyable, use your imagination and try exploring other body parts as well. Nibbling on the neck, for instance, is a great turn on. If you do it well, this kiss ignites flames of passion that will arouse you to explore your beau's body further. Arvind (name changed on request) , who got married a year ago, says, "If I really want to drive my wife wild, nibbling is the best way to do so. It makes her squirm with desire. It is the best foreplay act and gets you in the mood for more action. Biting her gently at the right time and the right place just makes her scream for more."
So, what comes to your mind when you first think of kissing? A peck on the cheek or a passionate French kiss? Well, if you want to explore what turns on your mate or simply add creativity to your kissing techniques, here are some lip smacking ideas ...
Reverse lip kiss – Remember the sensuous kiss exchanged between Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst in Spiderman ? You can re-create the sizzling kiss with your partner. Of course you can't hang upside down like the famed super hero, so kiss your partner when he/she is lying down or seated. Come from behind and have them tilt their head backwards. Lower down your head and gently kiss their lower lip and feel your partner breathe on your neck. Abhishek, who works with a software company in Mumbai says, "My girlfriend really took me by surprise when I was working on my laptop. She came from behind, tilted my head backwards and gave me a kiss upside-down while I could feel her hair tickle my neck. I must confess I was quite impressed with her initiative and it really turned me on."
Underwater kiss – Dive to the bottom of the swimming pool, embrace your lover under water and suck in as if you were sucking air from their mouth. Leave them gasping for breath just for a few seconds. By the time you run out of air, reach the top, breathe and get set for the act again. If you are a guy, just pull your babe up above the water, while remaining in the pool and gently caress her thighs while rolling your tongue around her navel to provide the ultimate erotic sensation. Ashish Singh (name changed on request) says, "I would love to lock lips with my girlfriend under water. I love water sports and I think it would just add to the sizzling underwater action. What can be more sensuous?"
Ring kiss – When you and your partner are sitting together on a couch or lazing in bed, gently hold his hand and start kissing. Then smoothly, suck a ring out of his finger with the help of your teeth. Roll your tongue and slide the ring slightly to hold it around your tongue. Then share a passionate kiss by rolling the tip of your tongue to trace his lips. Let him suck the ring from your tongue and you can try stealing it again, it will heat up the scene.
Foot kiss - This one's not just amorous, but also an erotic gesture. Gently move your fingers on his/her bare foot. It may tickle your partner initially, but relax and enjoy the sensations! Then, gently kiss her foot and suck her toes. You can make the act even more intense by rolling an ice cube on her foot as you gradually move the cube up her legs and then to her inner thighs. "My partner turns me on by massaging my foot. He rubs his thumbs in circular motions from the heel to the toe and then sucks my toes one by one. Some people think it's kinky, but you have to try it to believe it. It works for me and it's even more fun if you do it in the 69 position and face each other's feet," says newly married Meenakshi (name changed on request) .
Nip kiss - When you kiss your partner next time, gently nibble on his/her lips. Be careful not to bite too hard and hurt them though. While smooching on one's lips is enjoyable, use your imagination and try exploring other body parts as well. Nibbling on the neck, for instance, is a great turn on. If you do it well, this kiss ignites flames of passion that will arouse you to explore your beau's body further. Arvind (name changed on request) , who got married a year ago, says, "If I really want to drive my wife wild, nibbling is the best way to do so. It makes her squirm with desire. It is the best foreplay act and gets you in the mood for more action. Biting her gently at the right time and the right place just makes her scream for more."
Ten kissing commandments
"Our date was extremely romantic, until I offered to seal the night with a kiss, which unexpectedly turned out to be quite awkward. While, I was gravely ashamed, she never came back," shares 23-year-old, Rishi Gulati (name changed on request), a sad victim of a kissing-faux-pas.
Well, the misfortune of a bad kiss can fall upon any of us. Consider yourself lucky if your kiss left your partner craving for more. And keep your fingers tightly crossed for no one plans a kissing blunder, it simply happens! And mind it, you are hardly left with anything to mend the embarrassment caused by a 'dud kiss.' If a perfect kiss can register success in your relationship, a kissing bummer is good enough to bring your love journey to a dead end even before it starts.
Follow our '10 commandments of perfect kissing' and you'll never be tagged as a 'poor kisser'...
1. Thou shall not be a stinking fish
Nothing can kill a kiss like foul breadth. So, the first commandment keeps you off kissing, if your mouth is stinking due to hygiene issues, food, tobacco or excessive smoking. If you don't want your partner to remember the kiss for all the wrong reasons, try to look out for solutions. Dr. Kamal Bisht, a general physician suggests, "Begin by brushing your teeth before you go out on a date, irrespective of the time. Cleaning your tongue is also important as it removes bacteria. Avoid kissing if you have just had smelly food products like garlic, onions etc. Keep a breath spray handy and use it periodically throughout the day." Last but not the least, if you are a smoker, the pleasure of smooching your partner can be your motivation to kick the butt!
2. Thou shall open your mouth with care
"My girlfriend has this habit of opening her mouth very little while kissing, which does not allow me to enjoy a passionate kiss to the fullest," avers Rajdeep Bhawmik, a Delhi-based architect.
While, there's no accurate rule for opening the mouth, it's generally seen that a deep kiss using tongue is a huge turn on. Equally terrifying are gulpers who open their mouth wide open while kissing, ready to swallow their partner. The trick is to keep one's lips lose enough to let the lips of both the partners glide smoothly over each other making it a yummy kiss. Also, "start with a lip-to-lip kiss and gradually taste the depths of pleasure," suggests sex expert, Dr. Rajan.
3. Thou shall not be a dead dud
"For both men and women, responsiveness is the chief factor that makes for a better kisser," says author William Cane in his book, The Art of Kissing Book of Question and Answers . So, rather than pouncing upon your partner's mouth, try and figure out the styles and movements that your partner enjoys. Try to figure out his/her likes and dislikes and adapt your technique accordingly.
Going with the other partner's rhythm is crucial. Don't expect your beau to do all the work while you enjoy his kissing moves. "My girlfriend is a hesitant kisser. She doesn't even move her head; forget about getting playful with her tongue and lips. It's just like I'm trying to find pleasure with a stiff stick," reveals Chandan Gupta, a 20-year-old college student.
4. Thou shall be a learner
No body is a born kisser. So, if you are an amateur kisser, who is apprehensive about locking lips, just follow your partner and the rest will fall into place, the way it happened with Jayati and Mayank. "During the initial days of our courtship, my girlfriend Jayanti was quite clueless about kissing, which was a big turn-off for me. But soon she realised her awkwardness and made a smart move. She simply started copying my style and now she can beat me in a passionate kiss," tells Mayank Taneja, a Mumbai-based PR professional.
Remember kissing is all about adapting and learning.
5. Thou shall use your hands appropriately
Agreed, that using hands results in elevating levels of passion. But do not pull his hair or grab her waist as if she'll run if you leave. Kissing is about imparting pleasure rather than inflicting pain. "Keep your hand movements limited to sensual and soft strokes on your lover's arms, back, neck, waist and hair or simply cup the face," suggests Cane. Don't get too aggressive in the name of showing wild passion. "My first boyfriend almost gave me bruises every time we kissed. Pinching and grabbing me gave him a sense of high, but I failed to match up with his wild passion and we broke up after a few dates and kisses," relates Madhurima Goel, a 19-year-old college student.
6. Thou shall not let your tongue go loose
You don't have to gag your partner by shoving off your tongue deep down into his/her mouth. Take it easy. The kissing rule for tongue says –less is more! Let the tip of your tongue perform the magic with subtle and gentle strokes. You can use your tongue for exploring, but that doesn't allow you to reach between your partner's teeth –as it can be a big turnoff. "Remember, slower the tongue movements, hotter is the passion," says Dr. Shivi Jaggi.
7. Thou shall not give me a saliva bath
Wet kisses undoubtedly work when it comes to getting into some raunchy action, but that doesn't give you the liberty to go lap,lap,lap all over your partner's face. "My girl is a passionate kisser. But, the only problem with her is that her kisses are really wet. She licks my chin, cheeks, forehead etc, which becomes quite messy for me," complains Jatin Sharma, a 24-year-old, management student. So, slobbery is not welcomed while kissing.
8. Thou shall not have sex on your mind
It is not necessary for a kiss to end in some hot action between the sheets. Your kiss shouldn't give away the hint that you are getting desperate to hit the bed. "Kissing brings people close physically and emotionally. And this closeness satisfies a deep emotional need for connecting with your partner," explains Cane.
So, while you are kissing, be sensitive to your partner's need. He/she may or may not be ready for sex immediately. Don't use a kiss as a means to reach a sexual climax. Let your kiss be romantic rather than plain sexual.
"I can still remember my first kiss, though for unpleasant things. The way the guy was busy groping me, gave clear clues that he wanted to have sex with me on our first date itself and I wasn't ready. And soon after that date, within no time I made up my mind to never meet him again."
Another way to keep your first kiss plain romantic, rather than hard core sexual can be to keep your hand-work limited to the non-erotic zones like the neck, arms, back waist etc., rather than reaching out to the erotic zones. Though, imagination and experimentation can be your yardstick if both of you are ready and enjoying.
9. Though shall not stare while kissing
You might be curious; you might feel like watching your partner taking pleasure in the act, but continuously staring at him/her while kissing is a big no no! Whenever a person is enjoying something to the hilt, their eyes automatically shut. Closing the eyes is an autonomous stimulus to pleasure. So, kissing is no exception to this rule and people tend to close their eyes. "Also, the sight of your partner almost eating you might not look very beautiful if you watch it continuously, though there's nothing wrong in getting a peep every now and then," suggests Dr. Rajan.
10. Thou shall be confident of your kiss
Be it a plain pucker or a passionate lip lock, not just the initiator, but even the recipient ought to be confident. Remember, to go with the flow and you'll do fine. When passion reaches its zenith, no guide-book or tips remain in one's mind. So, just be yourself and let the warmth of your lips take over. "Be it approaching your lover for a kiss or accepting his proposal, both should be utmost confident. Jitters may spoil the mood, irrespective of who is getting them," explains Dr. Jaggi.
Well, the misfortune of a bad kiss can fall upon any of us. Consider yourself lucky if your kiss left your partner craving for more. And keep your fingers tightly crossed for no one plans a kissing blunder, it simply happens! And mind it, you are hardly left with anything to mend the embarrassment caused by a 'dud kiss.' If a perfect kiss can register success in your relationship, a kissing bummer is good enough to bring your love journey to a dead end even before it starts.
Follow our '10 commandments of perfect kissing' and you'll never be tagged as a 'poor kisser'...
1. Thou shall not be a stinking fish
Nothing can kill a kiss like foul breadth. So, the first commandment keeps you off kissing, if your mouth is stinking due to hygiene issues, food, tobacco or excessive smoking. If you don't want your partner to remember the kiss for all the wrong reasons, try to look out for solutions. Dr. Kamal Bisht, a general physician suggests, "Begin by brushing your teeth before you go out on a date, irrespective of the time. Cleaning your tongue is also important as it removes bacteria. Avoid kissing if you have just had smelly food products like garlic, onions etc. Keep a breath spray handy and use it periodically throughout the day." Last but not the least, if you are a smoker, the pleasure of smooching your partner can be your motivation to kick the butt!
2. Thou shall open your mouth with care
"My girlfriend has this habit of opening her mouth very little while kissing, which does not allow me to enjoy a passionate kiss to the fullest," avers Rajdeep Bhawmik, a Delhi-based architect.
While, there's no accurate rule for opening the mouth, it's generally seen that a deep kiss using tongue is a huge turn on. Equally terrifying are gulpers who open their mouth wide open while kissing, ready to swallow their partner. The trick is to keep one's lips lose enough to let the lips of both the partners glide smoothly over each other making it a yummy kiss. Also, "start with a lip-to-lip kiss and gradually taste the depths of pleasure," suggests sex expert, Dr. Rajan.
3. Thou shall not be a dead dud
"For both men and women, responsiveness is the chief factor that makes for a better kisser," says author William Cane in his book, The Art of Kissing Book of Question and Answers . So, rather than pouncing upon your partner's mouth, try and figure out the styles and movements that your partner enjoys. Try to figure out his/her likes and dislikes and adapt your technique accordingly.
Going with the other partner's rhythm is crucial. Don't expect your beau to do all the work while you enjoy his kissing moves. "My girlfriend is a hesitant kisser. She doesn't even move her head; forget about getting playful with her tongue and lips. It's just like I'm trying to find pleasure with a stiff stick," reveals Chandan Gupta, a 20-year-old college student.
4. Thou shall be a learner
No body is a born kisser. So, if you are an amateur kisser, who is apprehensive about locking lips, just follow your partner and the rest will fall into place, the way it happened with Jayati and Mayank. "During the initial days of our courtship, my girlfriend Jayanti was quite clueless about kissing, which was a big turn-off for me. But soon she realised her awkwardness and made a smart move. She simply started copying my style and now she can beat me in a passionate kiss," tells Mayank Taneja, a Mumbai-based PR professional.
Remember kissing is all about adapting and learning.
5. Thou shall use your hands appropriately
Agreed, that using hands results in elevating levels of passion. But do not pull his hair or grab her waist as if she'll run if you leave. Kissing is about imparting pleasure rather than inflicting pain. "Keep your hand movements limited to sensual and soft strokes on your lover's arms, back, neck, waist and hair or simply cup the face," suggests Cane. Don't get too aggressive in the name of showing wild passion. "My first boyfriend almost gave me bruises every time we kissed. Pinching and grabbing me gave him a sense of high, but I failed to match up with his wild passion and we broke up after a few dates and kisses," relates Madhurima Goel, a 19-year-old college student.
6. Thou shall not let your tongue go loose
You don't have to gag your partner by shoving off your tongue deep down into his/her mouth. Take it easy. The kissing rule for tongue says –less is more! Let the tip of your tongue perform the magic with subtle and gentle strokes. You can use your tongue for exploring, but that doesn't allow you to reach between your partner's teeth –as it can be a big turnoff. "Remember, slower the tongue movements, hotter is the passion," says Dr. Shivi Jaggi.
7. Thou shall not give me a saliva bath
Wet kisses undoubtedly work when it comes to getting into some raunchy action, but that doesn't give you the liberty to go lap,lap,lap all over your partner's face. "My girl is a passionate kisser. But, the only problem with her is that her kisses are really wet. She licks my chin, cheeks, forehead etc, which becomes quite messy for me," complains Jatin Sharma, a 24-year-old, management student. So, slobbery is not welcomed while kissing.
8. Thou shall not have sex on your mind
It is not necessary for a kiss to end in some hot action between the sheets. Your kiss shouldn't give away the hint that you are getting desperate to hit the bed. "Kissing brings people close physically and emotionally. And this closeness satisfies a deep emotional need for connecting with your partner," explains Cane.
So, while you are kissing, be sensitive to your partner's need. He/she may or may not be ready for sex immediately. Don't use a kiss as a means to reach a sexual climax. Let your kiss be romantic rather than plain sexual.
"I can still remember my first kiss, though for unpleasant things. The way the guy was busy groping me, gave clear clues that he wanted to have sex with me on our first date itself and I wasn't ready. And soon after that date, within no time I made up my mind to never meet him again."
Another way to keep your first kiss plain romantic, rather than hard core sexual can be to keep your hand-work limited to the non-erotic zones like the neck, arms, back waist etc., rather than reaching out to the erotic zones. Though, imagination and experimentation can be your yardstick if both of you are ready and enjoying.
9. Though shall not stare while kissing
You might be curious; you might feel like watching your partner taking pleasure in the act, but continuously staring at him/her while kissing is a big no no! Whenever a person is enjoying something to the hilt, their eyes automatically shut. Closing the eyes is an autonomous stimulus to pleasure. So, kissing is no exception to this rule and people tend to close their eyes. "Also, the sight of your partner almost eating you might not look very beautiful if you watch it continuously, though there's nothing wrong in getting a peep every now and then," suggests Dr. Rajan.
10. Thou shall be confident of your kiss
Be it a plain pucker or a passionate lip lock, not just the initiator, but even the recipient ought to be confident. Remember, to go with the flow and you'll do fine. When passion reaches its zenith, no guide-book or tips remain in one's mind. So, just be yourself and let the warmth of your lips take over. "Be it approaching your lover for a kiss or accepting his proposal, both should be utmost confident. Jitters may spoil the mood, irrespective of who is getting them," explains Dr. Jaggi.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
'Sex'ting for a night of passion
It's often said that actions speak louder than words, but we think words can set your mood right for loud actions. At least when it comes to sex!
Couples believe in sharing their sexual fantasies, indulging in dirty talks and experimenting with their sex moves in bed, presuming it adds to their pleasure. But little do they realise that even exchanging naughty, romantic messages throughout the day can build their mood for steamy sex later on.
'Sex inclined' text messages have everything to push them towards a steamy bedroom romp provided the words used and the mood implied hit the partner's sexual senses correctly.
Dr. Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert elucidates, "Apart from sending and receiving erotic text messages to arouse one another, it's essential for couples to keep up the tempo till the time they get back home from work. If you keep exchanging romantic texts during the day, but fail to keep the flames burning in bed later on, all your efforts may just go to waste."
Here are some effective sex messages that partners can exchange to arouse each other for a night of passion...
Your curvy body drives me crazy: A woman loves to hear pleasant compliments about her body. Appreciating her curves and toned body will make her feel happy and in turn push her to love you more passionately. "Giving positive and flattering comments about your partner's body is always taken as a good signal that makes them feel wanted and more attracted towards you. The words should express that you enjoy lovemaking moments with them. Make sure you don't criticise their looks much, as it may act as a turn-off," says Dr. Shivani Gupte, a clinical psychologist.
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your curvy body drives me crazy. Your slender neck descending down to your curvaceous waist and leading upto to your toned thighs, I simply love each inch of yours. Wanna hold you baby!
You have perfected the art of undressing : One sure shot way to tempt your partner for a steamy romp is to build a comfort zone. Since most women feel shy undressing in front of their male partners, their apprehensions by messaging surely helps. "Make your partner knows that you love seeing them getting undressed as it will help boosting their confidence and add to your sexual bliss. They will feel more comfortable next time you get intimate and thus the much hyped act of undressing can be enjoyed in a better way," feels Dr. Chirta Bakshi, a relationship counselor.
SAY IT IN WORDS : The way you strip slowly always leaves me craving for more. I can't express how irresistible you look in that bare minimum look.
Your tender touch is highly arousing : Sex is all about feeling your partner's body and experiencing their touch. Letting your beloved know about how good it feels when their hands caress your body helps in building a romantic mood. "Such expressions of love evoke your partner's sexual senses. These words bring a reassurance to your partner that their gestures and acts are being enjoyed, which would drive them to perform better in bed," states Dr. Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert.
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your tender touch is arousing. The moment your soft hands move on my bare body from my back to my chest and sliding down to my stomach, it's stimulates me to love you more.
Your passionate kisses blow me away : A kiss is the best medium to express your love. And telling your partner about how their passionate kisses drive your wild in bed ignites their passion. Dr. Shivani suggests, "Saying it straightforwardly that you want to kiss your partner might sound boring and unromantic. But expressing to someone that you enjoy their kissing gestures will make it obvious that you're expecting much more from them."
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your passionate kisses blow me away. Be it on my cheeks, neck, shoulders, chest or belly, the soft touch of your lips create a sensation that leaves me craving for more.
You're getting hotter each day : Now this one ought to be for both male and female partners as they can use it as the ultimate weapon to arouse each other. Flatter your lover by praising their bedroom performance, lovemaking gestures and sexual acts and this guarantees you a lovable night ahead. Dr. Chitra adds, "Sharing feedback about each other's sexual performance is good, but ensure that it's said in the right sense. Sending messages with flattering words automatically create a feeling of intimacy, so don't shy away from telling them about how good they were in bed."
SAY IT IN WORDS : You're getting hotter each day. Your sexual performance and the newer ways with which you try to arouse me show how much you love me.
Your body scent tempts me so much : Partners do enjoy each other's body whiffs. Sending this message is like a clear hint to your partner that you're asking for a torrid lovemaking session. If they catch the right signal, it might help you enjoy the pleasure like never before. Dr. Amita shares, "Someone's body smell can be felt only when you are close to them, so such a message is the ultimate way to let your partner know what's running through your mind. It will arouse them sexually and would charge up their mood to get intimate with you."
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your body scent tempts me so much. It spreads a romantic aroma all around and sets the mood right for extreme intimacy. It pushes me to remain closer to you.
Couples believe in sharing their sexual fantasies, indulging in dirty talks and experimenting with their sex moves in bed, presuming it adds to their pleasure. But little do they realise that even exchanging naughty, romantic messages throughout the day can build their mood for steamy sex later on.
'Sex inclined' text messages have everything to push them towards a steamy bedroom romp provided the words used and the mood implied hit the partner's sexual senses correctly.
Dr. Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert elucidates, "Apart from sending and receiving erotic text messages to arouse one another, it's essential for couples to keep up the tempo till the time they get back home from work. If you keep exchanging romantic texts during the day, but fail to keep the flames burning in bed later on, all your efforts may just go to waste."
Here are some effective sex messages that partners can exchange to arouse each other for a night of passion...
Your curvy body drives me crazy: A woman loves to hear pleasant compliments about her body. Appreciating her curves and toned body will make her feel happy and in turn push her to love you more passionately. "Giving positive and flattering comments about your partner's body is always taken as a good signal that makes them feel wanted and more attracted towards you. The words should express that you enjoy lovemaking moments with them. Make sure you don't criticise their looks much, as it may act as a turn-off," says Dr. Shivani Gupte, a clinical psychologist.
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your curvy body drives me crazy. Your slender neck descending down to your curvaceous waist and leading upto to your toned thighs, I simply love each inch of yours. Wanna hold you baby!
You have perfected the art of undressing : One sure shot way to tempt your partner for a steamy romp is to build a comfort zone. Since most women feel shy undressing in front of their male partners, their apprehensions by messaging surely helps. "Make your partner knows that you love seeing them getting undressed as it will help boosting their confidence and add to your sexual bliss. They will feel more comfortable next time you get intimate and thus the much hyped act of undressing can be enjoyed in a better way," feels Dr. Chirta Bakshi, a relationship counselor.
SAY IT IN WORDS : The way you strip slowly always leaves me craving for more. I can't express how irresistible you look in that bare minimum look.
Your tender touch is highly arousing : Sex is all about feeling your partner's body and experiencing their touch. Letting your beloved know about how good it feels when their hands caress your body helps in building a romantic mood. "Such expressions of love evoke your partner's sexual senses. These words bring a reassurance to your partner that their gestures and acts are being enjoyed, which would drive them to perform better in bed," states Dr. Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert.
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your tender touch is arousing. The moment your soft hands move on my bare body from my back to my chest and sliding down to my stomach, it's stimulates me to love you more.
Your passionate kisses blow me away : A kiss is the best medium to express your love. And telling your partner about how their passionate kisses drive your wild in bed ignites their passion. Dr. Shivani suggests, "Saying it straightforwardly that you want to kiss your partner might sound boring and unromantic. But expressing to someone that you enjoy their kissing gestures will make it obvious that you're expecting much more from them."
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your passionate kisses blow me away. Be it on my cheeks, neck, shoulders, chest or belly, the soft touch of your lips create a sensation that leaves me craving for more.
You're getting hotter each day : Now this one ought to be for both male and female partners as they can use it as the ultimate weapon to arouse each other. Flatter your lover by praising their bedroom performance, lovemaking gestures and sexual acts and this guarantees you a lovable night ahead. Dr. Chitra adds, "Sharing feedback about each other's sexual performance is good, but ensure that it's said in the right sense. Sending messages with flattering words automatically create a feeling of intimacy, so don't shy away from telling them about how good they were in bed."
SAY IT IN WORDS : You're getting hotter each day. Your sexual performance and the newer ways with which you try to arouse me show how much you love me.
Your body scent tempts me so much : Partners do enjoy each other's body whiffs. Sending this message is like a clear hint to your partner that you're asking for a torrid lovemaking session. If they catch the right signal, it might help you enjoy the pleasure like never before. Dr. Amita shares, "Someone's body smell can be felt only when you are close to them, so such a message is the ultimate way to let your partner know what's running through your mind. It will arouse them sexually and would charge up their mood to get intimate with you."
SAY IT IN WORDS : Your body scent tempts me so much. It spreads a romantic aroma all around and sets the mood right for extreme intimacy. It pushes me to remain closer to you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
