How to Be the Perfect Guy for Her.........

How to Be the Perfect Guy for Her
It's not enough to know what women want. You also have to know how to deliver it to them. We asked our friends at Cosmo to ask their readers what makes for an ideal partner and, based on the results, came up with ways for you to completely rock her world

Luckily, being an amazing beau or husband doesn't require a lot of legwork. You simply have to know how women tick. That's where Cosmo came in. They surveyed more than 1,200 online readers and asked them some burning questions—everything from how manly you should be to the moves that will make her orgasm. The goal: Figure out exactly what women really want from men in their lives. Come on, you know you're curious. So read on . . . and thank us later.

Don't Obsess About Your LooksSure, she might drool over a ridiculously hot guy, but that doesn't mean she needs to come home to one. When asked what the most important quality is in a beau, only 2% of Cosmo readers say looks. And if you're thinking, Well, yeah, that's because she wants a dude with boatloads of cash, you should know that money isn't such a big draw either. Just 3% say financial and career success matters the most in a relationship. 42% of Cosmo readers say what they really care about is a sense of humor, while 38% say sweetness. At a loss for how to play up your fun, nice-guy persona?

Cosmo Recommends:
Roll with the punches. The waitress spilled water on your lap and that sucks, but reaming her out won't magically dry your pants. When you get worked up, it makes your girl uncomfortable—she'd prefer that you let the whole thing slide.

Make the most of a bad situation. As you know, not everything always goes according to plan. Rather than damning the gods, though, try to lighten the mood. Your car broke down? Suggest playing a game of truth or dare while waiting for the tow truck. The restaurant lost your reservation? Take her for a slice of pizza, joking that next time, it's her treat.

Show your goofy side. If you're not the king of witty repartee, that's okay—just let her see your silliness. When a man is able to be himself, a woman feels like she can relax and be herself as well.

Source: Denise Budden-Potts, Ph.D., psychologist in San Marcos, California, and founder of The Dating With Your Future In Mind seminars


Cheer Her UpIf your girlfriend or wife is having a really crappy day, your first instinct might be to back away slowly—maybe you're not sure what to say, maybe you're afraid of suddenly and inexplicably provoking an outburst. But only 2% of our readers want to be left alone! So you have to be brave and stick it out with her.

Cosmo Recommends:
When she's snippy: She may be bitching about what your stupid socks are doing on the floor, but inside, she's hurting. Let her know you're there for her by asking if something happened. 43% of Cosmo readers say that after a bad day, they want you to just sit and listen to them vent. But don't offer any solutions unless she asks for them.

When she's moping around: If you know what's been going on with her (like a sick relative), ask how she's feeling, but if her mood is out of nowhere, go with "Is everything okay? You seem sad." Even if she says, "I'm fine," follow up with "Well, I'd like to hear about it, so when you want to talk, I'm here."

If she really resists, she may not feel like recapping, so suggest a distraction like going bowling. 35% of Cosmo readers say they want you to come up with something fun when they're down in the dumps.

Source: Psychologist Diana Kirschner, Ph.D., star of the MSN webcast Love In 90 Days Boot Camp
Be a GentlemanThese days, you never can tell if pulling her chair out will yield an "Oh, thank you" or a "What, you didn't think I could do it myself?!" There's a reason it's complicated. Women need a little of both: 84% of Cosmo readers admit that while they want their guy to be a gentleman, they still like having a say in things.

Cosmo Recommends:
Do: Open doors, help her put on her coat, and take her hand when she's getting out of the car.

Don't: Order for her, insist on dealing with her landlord, or book the doctor's appointment she still hasn't made.

Do: Play protector. 53% of women say that if a guy were being rude to her at a bar, she'd want you to defend her honor with words, compared with 37% who'd want you to pretty much do nothing. 10% say they'd want you to take a swing at the jackass.

Source: Relationship therapist Carolyn Bushong, author of Bring Back The Man You Fell In Love With
Earn Her TrustIf a chick doesn't trust you, the accusations probably fly every time you hit the bars without her. When asked what a deal breaker is in relationships, 56% of readers say a guy who is too flirty with other girls. To keep from having powwows (or screaming matches) every other day, you have to earn her trust.

Cosmo Recommends:
Be up-front. If your phone rings while you're with her, don't take the call in the other room or she'll wonder why you need privacy. Instead, answer it in front of her. Along the same lines, if you're on the computer, don't minimize the window when she comes over to give you a kiss.

Reassure her. Tell her you're not the kind of guy who would cheat, explaining why you think it's wrong. That way, she knows your moral code makes you above straying.

Give semifull disclosure. If another woman expressed interest and you shot her down, it's actually a good idea to tell your girl. Hearing that you rejected an admirer shows that, although you have other options, she's the only one for you.

Share your world. Maybe all the women you work with are plain Janes, but in her imagination, they're big-breasted, giggly blondes. To nip any paranoia in the bud, invite her out for drinks with coworkers or friends so no part of your life is a secret to her.

Source: Psychologist Michelle Callahan, Ph.D., relationship coach in New York City
Be a Good Kisser74% of women say bad kissing is a sexual downer, and for very good reason. Women read a lot into a kiss . . . like how a man will be in bed. No pressure though.

Cosmo Recommends:
If she's kissing you slowly, she wants more of a sensual experience. Grow your kiss. Start slowly and sensuously, then gradually introduce more tongue action.

If she's kissing you with a closed mouth, she's feeling romantic but probably isn't in the mood for sex. To get her fired up, return her kiss with soft pecks, then take her lips between yours to spice up the smooch.

If her kiss is passionate, she's ready to play. Match her aggressive style by sucking on her lips a little more forcefully. Also, use the tip of your tongue to play with hers.

Source: William Cane, author of The Art Of Kissing
Don't Rush SexYou don't need us to tell you that women need foreplay . . . lots of foreplay. In fact, 84% of readers want more than 15 minutes of it. The key is making sure she knows that pleasing her is, uh, fun for you too.

Cosmo Recommends:
Step 1: Give some attention to nonsexual spots. To get warmed up, a woman needs proper buildup. So start with innocent areas. Run your palms and fingertips over her arms and back with straight strokes and swirling motions. Varying your movements will keep her nerve endings on high alert. When her breathing becomes deeper, turn up the intensity.

Step 2: Handle the merchandise gently. With an open palm, move in broad circles over each breast at the same time, making the circles smaller as you get closer to the nipples. Then go over the same spots with the tip of your tongue.

Step 3: Head south. Kiss and lick your way down her torso as you run your hands down her sides. While you tease her lower stomach and hip bones with your mouth, lightly massage her thighs and butt with your hands. Then soften the stroke and move to her promised land.

Step 4: Put your oral talents to work. Start by gently teasing the clitoris with the tip of your tongue. As she becomes more aroused, increase the pressure, using your tongue as a steady point of resistance. Forget the whole flicking thing—move up and down, left and right, or draw shapes, like a figure 8.

Source: Certified sex educator Lou Paget, author of The Great Lover Playbook
Give Her a Great OrgasmAt this point in your relationship, you probably already know what it takes to bring your girlfriend or wife to orgasm. But do you know how to give her a mind-blowing explosion that's so intense, she practically passes out from the pleasure? Oh, it's possible. The key to helping her get there is stroking other erogenous zones during intercourse, according to the largest percentage of Cosmo readers. Stimulate both her G-spot and her C-spot (clitoris) simultaneously and your woman won't know what hit her.

Cosmo Recommends:
While giving oral sex: Using the tongue techniques we already covered, bring her almost to the point of no return. Before she goes over the edge, slip your index or middle finger inside her and with a come-hither movement, lightly press against her G-spot.

In girl-on-top position: In this carnal configuration, she'll be able to press her C-spot directly against your pubic bone, and you'll have easy access to the hot zone as well. (Plus, she can control the pace and rhythm of her own movements.) While inside her, use your thumb to stimulate her clitoris, as you would during foreplay.

In spoon position: For maximum G-spot stimulation, lie on your side and have sex while scooted up behind her. Keeping yourself deep inside, use small but persistent thrusts to stimulate the G-spot. Meanwhile, reach around and use your fingers to stimulate her clitoris.

Source: Sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First