25 Secrets She Wishes You Knew
By: Laura Milne
Of course you don't understand women. Sometimes they can't even explain themselves. But often their secrets are universal, like these 25 things she wishes you knew.
Secret 1Please listen to me. Not because what I'm about to say will rock your world, but because listening is a sign of respect that rocks my world.
Secret 2Women speak a different dialect than men. For example, "I'm fine" means "I'm so not fine," just as "No dessert for me" means "I'll be polishing off yours."
Secret 3Remember, PMS stands for "physical and mental stress." So let me cry freely, behave irrationally, and eat your dessert. My mood swings are hormonal, not personal.
Secret 4Manicures and pedicures are a woman's gift to her man. I love looking pretty for you. The time to worry is when I stop going for them.
Secret 5Always tell me when I look hot; never tell me when I don't. And don't forget: I need 20 compliments to offset one thoughtless remark
Secret 6I remember the shirt you were wearing when you first said, "I love you." The fact that you don't makes me question whether you meant it.
Secret 7I loved you long before I told you. Playing the long game is in a woman's DNA. We don't throw a Hail Mary in the first quarter. (And you thought we didn't know football.)
Secret 8Of course you're the best lover I've ever had. All others cease to exist when I fall in love.
Secret 9I'll never tell you my true number. Never, never, never! Besides, see Secret 8.
Secret 10I read your horoscope every day.
Secret 11I secretly delight when the maitre d' slips up and calls us Mr. and Mrs.
Secret 12Spontaneously kiss my neck from behind, and I might let you stay back there for a while.
Secret 13Yes, my girlfriend knows what we did last night. We share everything, including that.
Secret 14Make me laugh and I'm happy. Laugh at yourself and I'm all yours.
Secret 15A little jealousy is good if (a) no kneecaps are broken and (b) you don't cross-examine me to exhaustion. The right balance shows you care, and it's even flattering.
Secret 16I don't withhold sex to punish you. Sometimes I just need to be left alone but, at the same time, not left alone. And no, I can't explain that.
Secret 17I can, will, and do fake it. Like when Gossip Girl is starting. Would you rather I fake a headache?
Secret 18I love sex. With or without you, as Bono might say. My mind is filthier than you might think.
Secret 19You are irresistible: freshly showered, doing something sporty or strenuous, smiling, charming the old lady from the third floor, suited, reading the business section,
DIY-ing . . .
Secret 20"Do you want flowers?" kills the romantic gesture. Don't ask, just do.
Secret 21I'll probably be late—because I'm preening for you. At least that's how I reason. My reasoning skills are phenomenal!
Secret 22If you cheat, I may not break up with you. But you'll wish I had.
Secret 23I once kissed a girl and liked the taste of her cherry ChapStick. No, I didn't. That's your fantasy. Sincerely sorry.
Secret 24Here's how to fix what you're doing wrong in bed: When you go slow, go slower. When you go fast, go faster.
Secret 25I feel lucky to have you, and I hope you feel the same. You can't have it all unless you have someone to share it with.
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