Her Secret Sex Thoughts
By: Carolyn Kylstra
High-heat passion can make a man’s mind go blank. That’s understandable—and a compliment to the woman. But sex is different for us women. When the clothes come off, our brains go into overdrive. For proof, have a peek into the secret thoughts of more than 1,000 Women’s Health readers while they’re having sex.
Here’s your job: Read her mind. No pressure—only your sex life depends on it. Researchers find that in order to reach orgasm, women must quiet the parts of their brains linked to anxiety and fear. So if you know what all the chatter inside her head is about, you can react and help bring her to an awesome, cranium-calming climax. Our survey shows you where to start.
Secret Sex Thought #1“I worry he won’t think I’m any good, and that I’ll kill any chance of building the relationship.” —Meghan, 19
Fifty-seven percent of women said that during sex they’re wondering if you’re enjoying it—enjoying her, really. So consider that license to be loudly enthusiastic. “But be specific about what you’re enjoying,” says Lou Paget, author of How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure. The more fully you describe something she’s doing that you like, the more convincing you’ll sound.
Worry not. Here’s how many women are critical of your . . .
Facial expressions: 11%
Sounds: 12%
Penis size: 4%
Secret Sex Thought #2“I wish he’d hurry up and finish already.” —Laura, 22
Surprise: Sex ideally lasts between 3 and 13 minutes, a survey of sex therapists found. Read her breathing and body language. No highs and lows? She’s probably had enough.
Secret Sex Thought #3“Oh, crap—did I shave my legs?” —Carly, 26
More than half of women said they thought about their body hair nearly every time they had sex. So touch her as if you don’t care, or you’ll make her self-conscious—and that makes sex worse for both of you, says Joy Davidson, Ph.D., creator of the online series The Joy Spot. Then go ahead and distract her by becoming really enthusiastic about a part of her body she’s feeling good about.
Secret Sex Thought #4“I think about threesomes during sex—but I’d never want to have one.” —Alexis, 28
Many women spice things up with far-fetched fantasies; they’re exciting and not relationship-threatening. So go with it. During sex, whisper crazy fantasies (that involve her!). Tell her where in public you’d like to go down on her, say. Or give her those two men in bed—by being both of them, Paget says. “Be the wild guy, then switch and be the sensitive lover who lies on top and kisses gently.”
Secret Sex Thought #5“I fantasize that I’m completely uninhibited—taking control, and introducing sex toys.” —Jen, 37
But she’s often too shy to act. More than a third of the women we surveyed said that during sex they’re thinking of dirty things they’re embarrassed to talk about. One in four is imagining a position she’s afraid to ask you to try.
“Often her hesitancy to speak up is related to other inhibitions, like worrying about how she looks or tastes,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., the author of Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover. So to start, describe senses: how great she smells, how good she looks or feels. If she says something, respond. If she hints at something, go for it. The more you show your excitement—and the more you lead—the more comfortable she’ll be.
Secret Sex Thought #6"Sometimes I’m thinking, ‘I still have laundry to do after this.’” —Jennifer, 22
It’s a cliché, but a true one. More than one in four women said they thought about household chores during sex, and 20 percent thought about work. “It’s just the way my mind operates,” says Stephanie, 27. So bring her back. Our poll’s top suggestion: Turn up the passion—and let her feel it. “When she’s bored, it’s because the sex is routine. So take charge. Move her around and be more assertive,” says Davidson. Hold her tighter, run your nails up her legs, pin her arms down (if she’s comfortable with that). A lot of little things can make her take notice. What laundry?
Here’s a bonus tip: There’s no one way to gain her attention, women say. Some of their suggestions:
Talk dirty: 17%
Become more assertive: 27%
Pull her hair: 7%
Secret Sex Thought #7“I occasionally compare him to my ex. I can’t help it!” —Jessie, 28
Yes, she thinks about other men during sex. Sometimes she even fantasizes about them. Ouch! But she’s conflicted. Consider: 51 percent of respondents said it was natural to fantasize about other men during sex, but 74 percent said they’d be hurt if you fantasized about other women.
Focus her attention. Ask her, “What do you want me to beg for?” Fulbright says. “It gives her the sense that she’s steering the action.” And she’ll know you’re the one giving her what she wants.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Countdown to a Lean Belly........
Countdown to a Lean Belly
By: Travis Stork, M.D.
How did they do it? That's the first question anyone asks when they see a friend or colleague who's lost a lot of weight, or remade their body into a healthier, leaner version. How did they do it?
Well, it's no mystery. In fact, one of the most important and intriguing studies ever conducted was put together by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) back in 2006. This is our tax dollars at work, and I'd say we got our money's worth.
The pages of the study—its catchy title is "Dietary and Physical Activity Behaviors Among Adults Successful at Weight Loss Maintenance"—take all the world's weight-loss theories and compare them to what works for real people in the real world. It looked at people who won the fat war by losing at least 30 pounds and then keeping the weight off using strategies that will work for you, too.
Keep in mind: It wasn't a 100 percent success story. The CDC studied 2,124 people, and only 587 of them actually lost the weight and kept it off. But those who succeeded used many of the same strategies, the strategies outlined here.
And for even more ways to revolutionize your diet and get lean for good, check out The Lean Belly Prescription by Dr. Travis Stork. It's filled with simple strategies that will help you lose weight the same way you gained it: By making easy lifestyle choices that will transform your life—for the better.
Lean-Belly Strategy #1Pay Attention to What You Eat
Mindless eating is excessive eating. Researchers at the University of Massachusetts discovered that people who watched TV while they ate consumed nearly 300 more calories than those who dined without an eye on the tube. You need to pay attention to the messages your stomach is sending to your brain; if the TV is blaring, you won't see the "slow" and "stop" signs.
Lean-Belly Strategy #2Slow Down
Fast eaters become fat people. If you consciously stop to take a breath between bites, you can cut your food (and calorie) intake by 10 percent, according to researchers at the University of Rhode Island. Special bonus: You can do this in social situations—Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt Marge's—and nobody will even notice. That is, until you show up next year minus 20 pounds of flab.
Lean-Belly Strategy #3I Said Slow Down!
It takes 20 minutes for the news that you've had enough to eat to travel from your gut to your brain. The reason: Hormones that trigger the "I'm full—stop!" sensation are at the end of your digestive tract, and it takes a while for digested food to reach there. If your mouth is filled with conversation, it won't be so full of food. Talk more between bites, and weigh less when the conversation/meal is over.
Lean-Belly Strategy #4Beware the "Healthy" Menu
If you order the stuff that's supposed to be good for you, you're likely to underestimate a meal's calorie total by more than a third, according to a study in the Journal of Consumer Research. The restaurants know that; now you do, too. So be especially aware when ordering "healthy," and make sure you have a "to go" box handy to carry leftovers home.
Lean-Belly Strategy #5Beware the Community Chest
Always serve snacks in a bowl or dish, and put away the packages. Never eat from the bag or container. That way you won't ever eat an entire bag of something in a single sitting.
Lean-Belly Strategy #6Beat Hunger with Your Mind
Have a craving even though you ate just an hour ago? Before you indulge your mystery hunger, here's how to test whether your appetite is real or not: Imagine sitting down to a large, sizzling steak. If you're truly hungry, the steak will sound good, and you should eat. If the steak isn't appetizing, it means your body isn't actually hungry. You might be bored, or thirsty, or just tempted by something you don't need. Try a change of scenery: Researchers at Flanders University in Australia found that visual distractions can help curb cravings.
Lean-Belly Strategy #7Redecorate, Repack, Remember
If you don't have a countertop fruit bowl, buy one so you can grab a peach, banana, pear, or other piece of fruit on your way out the door in the morning, to munch on during your commute. (Plus, it's fun to throw the core out the window.) Plan a 10 a.m. apple-a-day break. Toss an orange in your briefcase to help you past the mid-afternoon lull (otherwise known as Temptation Time). Make fruit part of your entourage, and it will beat up lesser foods.
Lean-Belly Strategy #8If You Can't Bear to Eat Vegetables, Drink Them Instead
That's right, you could have had a V8—as long as it was the low-sodium variety. It has pureed tomatoes, beets, carrots, celery, spinach, lettuce, parsley, and watercress, and 8 ounces supplies two of your five recommended daily servings of vegetables. It also heats up nicely as a base for soups.
Lean-Belly Strategy #9If You Can't Bear to Eat Vegetables, Hide Them in Your Pasta Sauce
And no, neither you nor the kids will notice. Using a fine grater on your food processor, grate 2 cups total of onions, garlic, carrots, beets, and zucchini (or any combo thereof), then sauté the microscopic vegetable bits in a tablespoon of olive oil. Add 4 cups of basic marinara sauce and simmer to an anonymous tomato flavor.
Lean-Belly Strategy #10If You're Not Yet Drinking Smoothies, Why Not?
Have you read the label of your fruit juice? Lots of sugar (however "natural" it is) and not much fiber, which means it's a carb bomb when it hits your bloodstream. Not so with a blended smoothie, because ingredient number one is whole fruit, making the sugar content drop and the fiber climb.
Two tips: Use frozen fruit; buy it by the bag in your store's freezer section. And buy a wand mixer and a small pitcher so you can mix your smoothie in the same container you drink it from; it's much easier than washing out a blender. Almost any fruit-and-berry combo will do, but you can start with this recipe: 1/2 cup frozen blueberries, 1/2 banana (peeled ones freeze well), 2 tablespoons peanut butter, 2 tablespoons whey powder (it's in the supplements aisle in the grocery store), 1 cup 2% milk, and 1 cup water.
Lean-Belly Strategy #11Buy Smaller Dishes
According to the food scientists at Cornell University, people tend to eat as much food as will fit on their plates. That's where "duh!" overlaps with dangerous. Over the past 100 years, our plates have grown, decade by decade. And we also know that the nation's obesity rates have grown exponentially in that time as well. No, it's not a coincidence. If you dine off of smaller plates, you'll grow smaller, too. Shoot for 9 inches in diameter, and you'll be on your way.
Lean-Belly Strategy #12Drink out of Skinny Glasses
As have gone dinner plates, so have gone drinking glasses. And if you fill the newly cavernous ones with any kind of sweetened beverage, you'll overindulge in calories. But here's a smart tip: We tend to gauge our drink sizes by how tall, not how stout, our drinking glasses are. So if you buy tall, skinny ones, you'll think you're drinking more even though you're drinking less.
Lean-Belly Strategy #13Never Eat from the Box, Carton, or Bag
Those same clever food scientists at Cornell did an experiment in which they gave one set of moviegoers giant boxes of stale popcorn and another set smaller boxes of stale popcorn. The big-box people ate more than the small-box people. The theory: You gauge the amount that's "reasonable" to eat by the size of the container it's in. Put two cookies on a plate, put a scoop of ice cream in a bowl, or lay out a small handful of potato chips on your plate, then put the container away; you'll eat far less of the treat.
Lean-Belly Strategy #14Limit the Fried Stuff
Fun fact: Fast-food burgers and chicken from KFC and McDonald's are the most frequently requested meals on death row. It kinda makes sense. The inmates won't be around to suffer the aftermath. Fried foods are packed with calories and salt, and that crunchy, oily coating beats down any nutritional qualities that whatever is entombed inside might have.
That said, eating one piece of fried chicken won't be, um, a death sentence, if it's surrounded on the plate by generous helpings of vegetables and you follow with fruit—not more fat—for dessert. What's more, the fat in the chicken will help you absorb the fat-soluble vitamins in the veggies.
Lean-Belly Strategy #15Eat the Good Stuff
Make sure your diet is filled with healthy fats in the forms of fatty fish (salmon, tuna, mackerel, sardines), fatty fruits (avocados), extra-virgin olive oil, eggs (among the healthiest foods known to humankind), and healthy-fat snacks (nuts are nutritional powerhouses and keep you feeling full). I even give bacon in moderation a green light; at only 70 calories per strip, it carries big flavor and belly-filling capabilities.
Lean-Belly Strategy #16Wear Your Milk Mustache with Pride
Milk, yogurt, cottage cheese, and cheeses all contain slow-to-digest protein and healthy fat, so they can be excellent belly fillers. And studies have suggested that the calcium in dairy products may aid weight loss. Make them part of your diet and you'll find the cow elbowing aside lesser members of the food kingdom.
Lean-Belly Strategy #17Eliminate Sweetened Beverages
If you're going to follow only one piece of advice in this article, make it this one. I've said it before, but it's worth repeating: Drinks with added sugar account for nearly 450 calories per day in the average American's diet. That's more than twice as much as we were drinking 30 years ago. If you're looking for a way to cut unnecessary daily calories to help you lose a pound a week, wean yourself from the overload of sugar-sweetened carbonated beverages.
No, artificially sweetened sodas are not okay. Even if they have few calories or no calories, they maintain or increase your taste for highly sweetened foods, so you seek out the calorie payload elsewhere. Worse yet, they crowd out the healthy beverages. My prescription: Out with the bad, in with the great—in taste and nutrition.
Lean-Belly Strategy #19Reduce Your Intake of Food Prepared Away From Home
When you let somebody else prepare your food—especially if it's a teenager in a paper hat—you lose control over what you eat. And the fast-food companies, being what they are, encourage all of your worst eating habits by stuffing their products with crave-inducing ingredients like unhealthy fats, sugar, and salt. If you can stay out of the drive-thru, you can shrink your calorie intake every day.
Lean-Belly Strategy #20Keep a Food Diary
Clearly, this weight-loss technique isn't for everybody. It's a hassle to write down every little thing you eat, day after day. But it's strikingly effective for those who do it. My advice: Try it for a week so you can get a handle on how many sodas you drink and under what circumstances, when you're most likely to veg out with a bowl of chips in front of the TV, and when your dessert cravings strike. That will help you identify your dietary danger zones and lead you to strategies that save pounds.
But it wasn't just dietary changes that helped all those folks lose all that weight. Becoming active was another enormous factor in leading the successful losers into the promised land of the lean (but not hungry): exercising for 30 or more minutes per day, and adding physical activity to daily routines. Clearly, these are Lean Belly Prescription kind of people. And that provides a great segue to talking about the activities that these "successful losers" used to shed fat and keep it off .
Here's why it's so important to keep both healthy eating and exercise going as your one-two punch against belly fat. A study published in the Journal of Applied Physiology reported that when people chose healthier foods and combined that benefi t with exercise, they torched 98 percent of their weight directly from their fat stores. People who changed their diets alone were much more likely to break down muscle for fuel, and that's a big problem. Muscle is one of your prime metabolism boosters, so it will help you burn fat for up to 24 hours after a workout. So let's tackle the activity list, and give you strategies to make the most of it.
Lean-Belly Strategy #21Walk for Exercise
I consider that great news. Is there a simpler exercise than walking? Is there a better way to incorporate talking with friends and loved ones into your fitness plan? Is there anything else that gets you out among your neighbors at a pace that lets you say hello? And is there anything that makes your dog happier than your saying the magic word walk?
A study from the University of Prince Edward Island in Canada (a lovely place for a walk, mind you) found that largely sedentary people who wore a pedometer for 12 weeks increased their total steps by 3,451 a day, to about 10,500. By walking more, they also lowered their resting heart rates, BMIs, and waist measurements. Once you start paying attention to footsteps, you'll find ways to bank the extra strides. Thirty here, 300 there, 1,000 after dinner, and suddenly you're walking away from your old weight. Why not start right now? The closer you pay attention, the more you'll walk. And the more you walk, the greater the temptation will be to mix in an even bigger calorie burner: running.
Lean-Belly Strategy #22Lift Weights
I suspect that for 81 percent of you, the picture that just flashed in your mind was of a no-neck Bulgarian weight lifter straining as he hoisted a steel beam over his head in the last Olympics. I know that isn't you.
But you should still be taking advantage of the weight lifter's advantage: Muscle is the all-night convenience store of fat burning—it never shuts down. Not only do you burn a ton of calories while you're actually exercising, but there's also a big afterburn effect that kicks in. Your body has to expend energy to cool you down and repair the small tears in muscle fibers that happen when you lift. (Don't freak out. If you lift reasonable-size weights, you won't tear muscles, you'll just push the muscle fibers hard enough to make them grow.)
Lean-Belly Strategy #23Exercise Regularly
Believe it or not, "none of the above" is a legitimate option when it comes to physical activity, because there's nothing magical about running or weight lifting or even walking. They're just the most common activities people choose in order to add more activity to their days. The only one that's important to you is one that a) you enjoy, b) fits into your life well enough that you can do it most days, and c) allows you to up your energy expenditure.
You can do that by adding three 15-minute walks to your day or by scheduling 2-hour bike rides on weekends. Or simply by walking more, standing more, lifting more, and sitting less.
Just look at your whole day as an opportunity to make the smart choices that will help you lose weight and feel better. Achieve that, and where might you be next month? Or next year? Some place far better than where you are today!
By: Travis Stork, M.D.
How did they do it? That's the first question anyone asks when they see a friend or colleague who's lost a lot of weight, or remade their body into a healthier, leaner version. How did they do it?
Well, it's no mystery. In fact, one of the most important and intriguing studies ever conducted was put together by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) back in 2006. This is our tax dollars at work, and I'd say we got our money's worth.
The pages of the study—its catchy title is "Dietary and Physical Activity Behaviors Among Adults Successful at Weight Loss Maintenance"—take all the world's weight-loss theories and compare them to what works for real people in the real world. It looked at people who won the fat war by losing at least 30 pounds and then keeping the weight off using strategies that will work for you, too.
Keep in mind: It wasn't a 100 percent success story. The CDC studied 2,124 people, and only 587 of them actually lost the weight and kept it off. But those who succeeded used many of the same strategies, the strategies outlined here.
And for even more ways to revolutionize your diet and get lean for good, check out The Lean Belly Prescription by Dr. Travis Stork. It's filled with simple strategies that will help you lose weight the same way you gained it: By making easy lifestyle choices that will transform your life—for the better.
Lean-Belly Strategy #1Pay Attention to What You Eat
Mindless eating is excessive eating. Researchers at the University of Massachusetts discovered that people who watched TV while they ate consumed nearly 300 more calories than those who dined without an eye on the tube. You need to pay attention to the messages your stomach is sending to your brain; if the TV is blaring, you won't see the "slow" and "stop" signs.
Lean-Belly Strategy #2Slow Down
Fast eaters become fat people. If you consciously stop to take a breath between bites, you can cut your food (and calorie) intake by 10 percent, according to researchers at the University of Rhode Island. Special bonus: You can do this in social situations—Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt Marge's—and nobody will even notice. That is, until you show up next year minus 20 pounds of flab.
Lean-Belly Strategy #3I Said Slow Down!
It takes 20 minutes for the news that you've had enough to eat to travel from your gut to your brain. The reason: Hormones that trigger the "I'm full—stop!" sensation are at the end of your digestive tract, and it takes a while for digested food to reach there. If your mouth is filled with conversation, it won't be so full of food. Talk more between bites, and weigh less when the conversation/meal is over.
Lean-Belly Strategy #4Beware the "Healthy" Menu
If you order the stuff that's supposed to be good for you, you're likely to underestimate a meal's calorie total by more than a third, according to a study in the Journal of Consumer Research. The restaurants know that; now you do, too. So be especially aware when ordering "healthy," and make sure you have a "to go" box handy to carry leftovers home.
Lean-Belly Strategy #5Beware the Community Chest
Always serve snacks in a bowl or dish, and put away the packages. Never eat from the bag or container. That way you won't ever eat an entire bag of something in a single sitting.
Lean-Belly Strategy #6Beat Hunger with Your Mind
Have a craving even though you ate just an hour ago? Before you indulge your mystery hunger, here's how to test whether your appetite is real or not: Imagine sitting down to a large, sizzling steak. If you're truly hungry, the steak will sound good, and you should eat. If the steak isn't appetizing, it means your body isn't actually hungry. You might be bored, or thirsty, or just tempted by something you don't need. Try a change of scenery: Researchers at Flanders University in Australia found that visual distractions can help curb cravings.
Lean-Belly Strategy #7Redecorate, Repack, Remember
If you don't have a countertop fruit bowl, buy one so you can grab a peach, banana, pear, or other piece of fruit on your way out the door in the morning, to munch on during your commute. (Plus, it's fun to throw the core out the window.) Plan a 10 a.m. apple-a-day break. Toss an orange in your briefcase to help you past the mid-afternoon lull (otherwise known as Temptation Time). Make fruit part of your entourage, and it will beat up lesser foods.
Lean-Belly Strategy #8If You Can't Bear to Eat Vegetables, Drink Them Instead
That's right, you could have had a V8—as long as it was the low-sodium variety. It has pureed tomatoes, beets, carrots, celery, spinach, lettuce, parsley, and watercress, and 8 ounces supplies two of your five recommended daily servings of vegetables. It also heats up nicely as a base for soups.
Lean-Belly Strategy #9If You Can't Bear to Eat Vegetables, Hide Them in Your Pasta Sauce
And no, neither you nor the kids will notice. Using a fine grater on your food processor, grate 2 cups total of onions, garlic, carrots, beets, and zucchini (or any combo thereof), then sauté the microscopic vegetable bits in a tablespoon of olive oil. Add 4 cups of basic marinara sauce and simmer to an anonymous tomato flavor.
Lean-Belly Strategy #10If You're Not Yet Drinking Smoothies, Why Not?
Have you read the label of your fruit juice? Lots of sugar (however "natural" it is) and not much fiber, which means it's a carb bomb when it hits your bloodstream. Not so with a blended smoothie, because ingredient number one is whole fruit, making the sugar content drop and the fiber climb.
Two tips: Use frozen fruit; buy it by the bag in your store's freezer section. And buy a wand mixer and a small pitcher so you can mix your smoothie in the same container you drink it from; it's much easier than washing out a blender. Almost any fruit-and-berry combo will do, but you can start with this recipe: 1/2 cup frozen blueberries, 1/2 banana (peeled ones freeze well), 2 tablespoons peanut butter, 2 tablespoons whey powder (it's in the supplements aisle in the grocery store), 1 cup 2% milk, and 1 cup water.
Lean-Belly Strategy #11Buy Smaller Dishes
According to the food scientists at Cornell University, people tend to eat as much food as will fit on their plates. That's where "duh!" overlaps with dangerous. Over the past 100 years, our plates have grown, decade by decade. And we also know that the nation's obesity rates have grown exponentially in that time as well. No, it's not a coincidence. If you dine off of smaller plates, you'll grow smaller, too. Shoot for 9 inches in diameter, and you'll be on your way.
Lean-Belly Strategy #12Drink out of Skinny Glasses
As have gone dinner plates, so have gone drinking glasses. And if you fill the newly cavernous ones with any kind of sweetened beverage, you'll overindulge in calories. But here's a smart tip: We tend to gauge our drink sizes by how tall, not how stout, our drinking glasses are. So if you buy tall, skinny ones, you'll think you're drinking more even though you're drinking less.
Lean-Belly Strategy #13Never Eat from the Box, Carton, or Bag
Those same clever food scientists at Cornell did an experiment in which they gave one set of moviegoers giant boxes of stale popcorn and another set smaller boxes of stale popcorn. The big-box people ate more than the small-box people. The theory: You gauge the amount that's "reasonable" to eat by the size of the container it's in. Put two cookies on a plate, put a scoop of ice cream in a bowl, or lay out a small handful of potato chips on your plate, then put the container away; you'll eat far less of the treat.
Lean-Belly Strategy #14Limit the Fried Stuff
Fun fact: Fast-food burgers and chicken from KFC and McDonald's are the most frequently requested meals on death row. It kinda makes sense. The inmates won't be around to suffer the aftermath. Fried foods are packed with calories and salt, and that crunchy, oily coating beats down any nutritional qualities that whatever is entombed inside might have.
That said, eating one piece of fried chicken won't be, um, a death sentence, if it's surrounded on the plate by generous helpings of vegetables and you follow with fruit—not more fat—for dessert. What's more, the fat in the chicken will help you absorb the fat-soluble vitamins in the veggies.
Lean-Belly Strategy #15Eat the Good Stuff
Make sure your diet is filled with healthy fats in the forms of fatty fish (salmon, tuna, mackerel, sardines), fatty fruits (avocados), extra-virgin olive oil, eggs (among the healthiest foods known to humankind), and healthy-fat snacks (nuts are nutritional powerhouses and keep you feeling full). I even give bacon in moderation a green light; at only 70 calories per strip, it carries big flavor and belly-filling capabilities.
Lean-Belly Strategy #16Wear Your Milk Mustache with Pride
Milk, yogurt, cottage cheese, and cheeses all contain slow-to-digest protein and healthy fat, so they can be excellent belly fillers. And studies have suggested that the calcium in dairy products may aid weight loss. Make them part of your diet and you'll find the cow elbowing aside lesser members of the food kingdom.
Lean-Belly Strategy #17Eliminate Sweetened Beverages
If you're going to follow only one piece of advice in this article, make it this one. I've said it before, but it's worth repeating: Drinks with added sugar account for nearly 450 calories per day in the average American's diet. That's more than twice as much as we were drinking 30 years ago. If you're looking for a way to cut unnecessary daily calories to help you lose a pound a week, wean yourself from the overload of sugar-sweetened carbonated beverages.
No, artificially sweetened sodas are not okay. Even if they have few calories or no calories, they maintain or increase your taste for highly sweetened foods, so you seek out the calorie payload elsewhere. Worse yet, they crowd out the healthy beverages. My prescription: Out with the bad, in with the great—in taste and nutrition.
Lean-Belly Strategy #19Reduce Your Intake of Food Prepared Away From Home
When you let somebody else prepare your food—especially if it's a teenager in a paper hat—you lose control over what you eat. And the fast-food companies, being what they are, encourage all of your worst eating habits by stuffing their products with crave-inducing ingredients like unhealthy fats, sugar, and salt. If you can stay out of the drive-thru, you can shrink your calorie intake every day.
Lean-Belly Strategy #20Keep a Food Diary
Clearly, this weight-loss technique isn't for everybody. It's a hassle to write down every little thing you eat, day after day. But it's strikingly effective for those who do it. My advice: Try it for a week so you can get a handle on how many sodas you drink and under what circumstances, when you're most likely to veg out with a bowl of chips in front of the TV, and when your dessert cravings strike. That will help you identify your dietary danger zones and lead you to strategies that save pounds.
But it wasn't just dietary changes that helped all those folks lose all that weight. Becoming active was another enormous factor in leading the successful losers into the promised land of the lean (but not hungry): exercising for 30 or more minutes per day, and adding physical activity to daily routines. Clearly, these are Lean Belly Prescription kind of people. And that provides a great segue to talking about the activities that these "successful losers" used to shed fat and keep it off .
Here's why it's so important to keep both healthy eating and exercise going as your one-two punch against belly fat. A study published in the Journal of Applied Physiology reported that when people chose healthier foods and combined that benefi t with exercise, they torched 98 percent of their weight directly from their fat stores. People who changed their diets alone were much more likely to break down muscle for fuel, and that's a big problem. Muscle is one of your prime metabolism boosters, so it will help you burn fat for up to 24 hours after a workout. So let's tackle the activity list, and give you strategies to make the most of it.
Lean-Belly Strategy #21Walk for Exercise
I consider that great news. Is there a simpler exercise than walking? Is there a better way to incorporate talking with friends and loved ones into your fitness plan? Is there anything else that gets you out among your neighbors at a pace that lets you say hello? And is there anything that makes your dog happier than your saying the magic word walk?
A study from the University of Prince Edward Island in Canada (a lovely place for a walk, mind you) found that largely sedentary people who wore a pedometer for 12 weeks increased their total steps by 3,451 a day, to about 10,500. By walking more, they also lowered their resting heart rates, BMIs, and waist measurements. Once you start paying attention to footsteps, you'll find ways to bank the extra strides. Thirty here, 300 there, 1,000 after dinner, and suddenly you're walking away from your old weight. Why not start right now? The closer you pay attention, the more you'll walk. And the more you walk, the greater the temptation will be to mix in an even bigger calorie burner: running.
Lean-Belly Strategy #22Lift Weights
I suspect that for 81 percent of you, the picture that just flashed in your mind was of a no-neck Bulgarian weight lifter straining as he hoisted a steel beam over his head in the last Olympics. I know that isn't you.
But you should still be taking advantage of the weight lifter's advantage: Muscle is the all-night convenience store of fat burning—it never shuts down. Not only do you burn a ton of calories while you're actually exercising, but there's also a big afterburn effect that kicks in. Your body has to expend energy to cool you down and repair the small tears in muscle fibers that happen when you lift. (Don't freak out. If you lift reasonable-size weights, you won't tear muscles, you'll just push the muscle fibers hard enough to make them grow.)
Lean-Belly Strategy #23Exercise Regularly
Believe it or not, "none of the above" is a legitimate option when it comes to physical activity, because there's nothing magical about running or weight lifting or even walking. They're just the most common activities people choose in order to add more activity to their days. The only one that's important to you is one that a) you enjoy, b) fits into your life well enough that you can do it most days, and c) allows you to up your energy expenditure.
You can do that by adding three 15-minute walks to your day or by scheduling 2-hour bike rides on weekends. Or simply by walking more, standing more, lifting more, and sitting less.
Just look at your whole day as an opportunity to make the smart choices that will help you lose weight and feel better. Achieve that, and where might you be next month? Or next year? Some place far better than where you are today!
The 30 Hottest Things to Say to a Naked Woman
The 30 Hottest Things to Say to a Naked Woman
Compiled by: Lisa Jones1. "Good morning."
2. "Is it okay with you if I take this slow?"
3. "I can't stop touching you."
4. "Want to join me in the shower?"
5. "I want to kiss/lick/touch every inch of you."
6. "I love how you taste."
7. "Do you feel this, too?" ("This" being an incredible emotional euphoria.)
8. "Hungry? Stay right here. I'll go make you a burrito."
9. Her name—her full name—followed by a "Wow."
10. "I'll get the light."
11. "I'll cancel my plans if you'll stay here with me for the rest of the weekend."
12. "No one's ever done that before."
13. "Can we do that again?"
14. "I love your [fill in body part here]."
15. Nothing. Total, deliberate silence. You can stare at her, grab her, touch her, but don't make a sound. If she tries to talk, place a finger on her lips.
16. While looking out the window at people not currently in bed with her: "Suckers."
17. While looking at moonlight reflecting on the ceiling: "What do you see?"
18. "I'll go make coffee."
19. "Waking up with you is even better than sleeping with you."
20. "Let's play hooky today."
21. Any use of the word "hot." Especially: "You're so hot."
22. "Squeeze my hand when it feels really amazing."
23. Words that end in "uck." Yes, even "duck," when appropriate.
24. "There's nothing else I'd rather be doing right now.
25. "I'm ready to go again."
26. Damn, I've missed you."
27. "How about a massage?"
28. Playful laughter.
29. "Don't ever leave me."
30. "You sleep; I'll go check on the baby."
Compiled by: Lisa Jones1. "Good morning."
2. "Is it okay with you if I take this slow?"
3. "I can't stop touching you."
4. "Want to join me in the shower?"
5. "I want to kiss/lick/touch every inch of you."
6. "I love how you taste."
7. "Do you feel this, too?" ("This" being an incredible emotional euphoria.)
8. "Hungry? Stay right here. I'll go make you a burrito."
9. Her name—her full name—followed by a "Wow."
10. "I'll get the light."
11. "I'll cancel my plans if you'll stay here with me for the rest of the weekend."
12. "No one's ever done that before."
13. "Can we do that again?"
14. "I love your [fill in body part here]."
15. Nothing. Total, deliberate silence. You can stare at her, grab her, touch her, but don't make a sound. If she tries to talk, place a finger on her lips.
16. While looking out the window at people not currently in bed with her: "Suckers."
17. While looking at moonlight reflecting on the ceiling: "What do you see?"
18. "I'll go make coffee."
19. "Waking up with you is even better than sleeping with you."
20. "Let's play hooky today."
21. Any use of the word "hot." Especially: "You're so hot."
22. "Squeeze my hand when it feels really amazing."
23. Words that end in "uck." Yes, even "duck," when appropriate.
24. "There's nothing else I'd rather be doing right now.
25. "I'm ready to go again."
26. Damn, I've missed you."
27. "How about a massage?"
28. Playful laughter.
29. "Don't ever leave me."
30. "You sleep; I'll go check on the baby."
6 Sex Mistakes You're Making
6 Sex Mistakes You're Making
Want to have more sex? Make it about discovery again. Bust out of your romance rut and jumpstart your sex life by breaking these six relationship routines.
Sex is a RaceBreak it: Explore her. Focus on her thighs and lower belly. Make a mental circle 2 inches around the outside of her vagina, and don't cross the line while you kiss, lick, and caress, says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., author of Different Loving. You'll ignite her nerve endings and bring her close to her red zone. It makes sex about discovery, not some destination. "Goal-oriented sex isn't sexy," Brame says.
Same Time, Same PlaceBreak it: Relive the past. Take her to the garage and reclaim the space you long ago ceded: Seduce her in the backseat of the car. It feels a little public, it's steeped in testosterone, and there's a throwback, high-school quality to it. Make it a quickie, which has its place in the sexual diet; having lots of sex begets more sex, because you stay connected, says Laura Berman, Ph.D., director of the Berman Center in Chicago.
Predictable ForeplayBreak it: Work out together. Think of it as fat-burning foreplay. It will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties. "She'll feel the sex is about her and not some random need she has to accommodate," says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a professor of sociology at Washington University. Bonus: Your post-run sweat has androstadienone, a testosterone derivative that spikes her arousal when she smells it.
Lopsided First MovesBreak it: Tie her hands. It's now up to her to figure out how to remove your shirt, tie, cuff links, and pants. You'll share a few laughs and marvel at her ingenuity. Whether you tie her up or she binds you, the game will break your predictable, first-move habits. The bonus: "It acts as an automatic foreplay extender," says Berman.
TV, Then SexBreak it: Read to her. It doesn't have to be erotica. It's an intimate activity that makes her focus on your voice. The deeper, the better. Low voices are a sign of high testosterone, which ups her attraction to you, according to a Scottish study. Read lying in bed with your head up, to dip an octave; it forces you to push air with your diaphragm instead of your lungs.
Habitual Hand HoldingBreak it: Caress her neck. Sure, holding hands can work as an aphrodisiac: It shows her you're devoted and proud to tell the world. But after a while, its poignancy wanes. A stepped-up PDA will deepen her connection to you, so she'll be more willing to really give herself to you in the bedroom, says Schwartz.
Want to have more sex? Make it about discovery again. Bust out of your romance rut and jumpstart your sex life by breaking these six relationship routines.
Sex is a RaceBreak it: Explore her. Focus on her thighs and lower belly. Make a mental circle 2 inches around the outside of her vagina, and don't cross the line while you kiss, lick, and caress, says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., author of Different Loving. You'll ignite her nerve endings and bring her close to her red zone. It makes sex about discovery, not some destination. "Goal-oriented sex isn't sexy," Brame says.
Same Time, Same PlaceBreak it: Relive the past. Take her to the garage and reclaim the space you long ago ceded: Seduce her in the backseat of the car. It feels a little public, it's steeped in testosterone, and there's a throwback, high-school quality to it. Make it a quickie, which has its place in the sexual diet; having lots of sex begets more sex, because you stay connected, says Laura Berman, Ph.D., director of the Berman Center in Chicago.
Predictable ForeplayBreak it: Work out together. Think of it as fat-burning foreplay. It will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties. "She'll feel the sex is about her and not some random need she has to accommodate," says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a professor of sociology at Washington University. Bonus: Your post-run sweat has androstadienone, a testosterone derivative that spikes her arousal when she smells it.
Lopsided First MovesBreak it: Tie her hands. It's now up to her to figure out how to remove your shirt, tie, cuff links, and pants. You'll share a few laughs and marvel at her ingenuity. Whether you tie her up or she binds you, the game will break your predictable, first-move habits. The bonus: "It acts as an automatic foreplay extender," says Berman.
TV, Then SexBreak it: Read to her. It doesn't have to be erotica. It's an intimate activity that makes her focus on your voice. The deeper, the better. Low voices are a sign of high testosterone, which ups her attraction to you, according to a Scottish study. Read lying in bed with your head up, to dip an octave; it forces you to push air with your diaphragm instead of your lungs.
Habitual Hand HoldingBreak it: Caress her neck. Sure, holding hands can work as an aphrodisiac: It shows her you're devoted and proud to tell the world. But after a while, its poignancy wanes. A stepped-up PDA will deepen her connection to you, so she'll be more willing to really give herself to you in the bedroom, says Schwartz.
Real Women's Tips for Better Sex........
Real Women's Tips for Better Sex
Eighty-seven percent of the women we polled said they're happy to coach their men through sex. We asked them to start.
Explore the Unexplored"There are still a lot of erogenous spots he hasn't found—behind my knees, inside my elbow, my ankles, and more." —Veronica, 41
Crank Up the Volume"I love hearing him enjoying himself. It's how I know I'm doing it right. Let go and I will, too." —Crystal, 29
Embrace Technology"Just because I want to use sex toys with him doesn't mean he's doing something wrong." —Erika, 28
Follow Through"Sometimes when I'm almost ready to climax and I'm moaning a lot, he gets excited and takes it as a sign to change position. That kills the orgasm, and I have to start all over again." —Kim, 26
Watch with Her"Certain kinds of porn really turn me on, even girl-on-girl. I want him to watch with me." —Amanda, 29
Mix It Up"I really love sex, but not when it's a routine. Make it feel fresh—do it in the morning instead of before bed . . . or even better, in the middle of the day. Take a long lunch break! That's a thrill." —Anna, 20
Be Detail Oriented"A random kiss on the back of my neck can turn me on more than an hour of foreplay does." —Stayce, 43
Start the Conversation"I'm willing to be much more adventurous, but I can't find the words to tell him that." —Ashley, 27
Show Her Your Passion"All he has to do to bring me to orgasm is look into my eyes. Emotion pushes me." —Amy, 33
Play Rough with Her"I wish one day he'd come home from work, throw me on the bed (or floor, or furniture) and ravage me rough." —Michelle, 34
Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues"Certain things suddenly feel great. So when I move your hands somewhere, keep them there!" —Jasmine, 24
Dominate Her"I like it when he leads. I'm in control during my day, and I want a break from that." —Mayaan, 27
Eighty-seven percent of the women we polled said they're happy to coach their men through sex. We asked them to start.
Explore the Unexplored"There are still a lot of erogenous spots he hasn't found—behind my knees, inside my elbow, my ankles, and more." —Veronica, 41
Crank Up the Volume"I love hearing him enjoying himself. It's how I know I'm doing it right. Let go and I will, too." —Crystal, 29
Embrace Technology"Just because I want to use sex toys with him doesn't mean he's doing something wrong." —Erika, 28
Follow Through"Sometimes when I'm almost ready to climax and I'm moaning a lot, he gets excited and takes it as a sign to change position. That kills the orgasm, and I have to start all over again." —Kim, 26
Watch with Her"Certain kinds of porn really turn me on, even girl-on-girl. I want him to watch with me." —Amanda, 29
Mix It Up"I really love sex, but not when it's a routine. Make it feel fresh—do it in the morning instead of before bed . . . or even better, in the middle of the day. Take a long lunch break! That's a thrill." —Anna, 20
Be Detail Oriented"A random kiss on the back of my neck can turn me on more than an hour of foreplay does." —Stayce, 43
Start the Conversation"I'm willing to be much more adventurous, but I can't find the words to tell him that." —Ashley, 27
Show Her Your Passion"All he has to do to bring me to orgasm is look into my eyes. Emotion pushes me." —Amy, 33
Play Rough with Her"I wish one day he'd come home from work, throw me on the bed (or floor, or furniture) and ravage me rough." —Michelle, 34
Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues"Certain things suddenly feel great. So when I move your hands somewhere, keep them there!" —Jasmine, 24
Dominate Her"I like it when he leads. I'm in control during my day, and I want a break from that." —Mayaan, 27
The Truth Behind the 12 Hottest Sex Myths.......
The Truth Behind the 12 Hottest Sex Myths
You've heard the loose talk. Here's how it stacks up with reality.
Men Reach Their Sexual Peak at 18, and Women Reach Theirs at 28 TRUE: With regard to their supply of sexual hormones, at least. Testosterone peaks at age 18 in men; women's estrogen hits its high point in their mid-20s. "But peak hormones don't mean peak sexual performance," says Marc Goldstein, M.D., a professor of reproductive medicine and urology at Cornell University's Weill Medical College. So feel free to try for a personal best—at any age.
Semen is Low-CarbFALSE: "Semen is mostly fruit sugar [fructose] and enzymes—not low-carb," says Dr. Goldstein. Which finally explains why there's no Oral Sex Diet.
Masturbation Yields the Strongest OrgasmTRUE: But it's not a hard-and-fast rule, as it were. "It depends on the individual," says Jon L. Pryor, M.D., a professor of urologic surgery at the University of Minnesota. "For some it does, but for others, there's nothing that beats good ol' intercourse."
The Average Erection Is 8 InchesFALSE: Relax, Shorty. It's closer to 6.
No Penis is Too Large or Too Small for Any VaginaTRUE: But perception still wins the game in the end. "I was once at a dinner meeting with seven other sex doctors—six men and one woman," says Dr. Pryor. "The men all agreed that size doesn't matter. The woman looked at us and said, 'Think what you want. Size matters.' We all left dejected."
Oysters Make You HornyFALSE: You make you horny. "There is no scientific evidence that oysters increase libido," says Dr. Pryor. "But there may be a placebo effect, so if it works, great!"
Green M&Ms Make You HornyFALSE: Unless they do. Then it's true. Isn't the mind wonderful?
Men Think About Sex Every 7 SecondsFALSE: That number is tossed around a lot, but the truth is that only 23 percent of men claim to fantasize frequently. But maybe the rest are just too distracted to check the clock.
Cutting Out Broccoli Will Make Your Semen Taste BetterTRUE: Semen is naturally bitter, and eating broccoli and drinking coffee can make it worse. A ray of hope for the Oral Sex Diet!
Having Sex Before an Important Event—the Big Game, the Critical Presentation—Can Ruin Your Performance in the EventFALSE: Swiss researchers performed stress tests on people 2 and 10 hours after the subjects had had sex, and found that by 10 hours, the participants were fully recovered. There was only a small dip in performance 2 hours after sex.
Having Sex in Water (Swimming Pool, Hot Tub, Shower) Will Kill SpermTRUE: Some of your swimmers may die, but it isn't an effective method of birth control, according to Dr. Pryor. Though a hot tub can overheat your testicles and kill sperm, there should be plenty left for the egg hunt.
You Can Be Addicted to Web PornTRUE: But the risk is low. Only 1 percent of all people who check out Internet porn will become addicted. If you're sporting a ring, be careful: 38 percent of addicts are married.
You've heard the loose talk. Here's how it stacks up with reality.
Men Reach Their Sexual Peak at 18, and Women Reach Theirs at 28 TRUE: With regard to their supply of sexual hormones, at least. Testosterone peaks at age 18 in men; women's estrogen hits its high point in their mid-20s. "But peak hormones don't mean peak sexual performance," says Marc Goldstein, M.D., a professor of reproductive medicine and urology at Cornell University's Weill Medical College. So feel free to try for a personal best—at any age.
Semen is Low-CarbFALSE: "Semen is mostly fruit sugar [fructose] and enzymes—not low-carb," says Dr. Goldstein. Which finally explains why there's no Oral Sex Diet.
Masturbation Yields the Strongest OrgasmTRUE: But it's not a hard-and-fast rule, as it were. "It depends on the individual," says Jon L. Pryor, M.D., a professor of urologic surgery at the University of Minnesota. "For some it does, but for others, there's nothing that beats good ol' intercourse."
The Average Erection Is 8 InchesFALSE: Relax, Shorty. It's closer to 6.
No Penis is Too Large or Too Small for Any VaginaTRUE: But perception still wins the game in the end. "I was once at a dinner meeting with seven other sex doctors—six men and one woman," says Dr. Pryor. "The men all agreed that size doesn't matter. The woman looked at us and said, 'Think what you want. Size matters.' We all left dejected."
Oysters Make You HornyFALSE: You make you horny. "There is no scientific evidence that oysters increase libido," says Dr. Pryor. "But there may be a placebo effect, so if it works, great!"
Green M&Ms Make You HornyFALSE: Unless they do. Then it's true. Isn't the mind wonderful?
Men Think About Sex Every 7 SecondsFALSE: That number is tossed around a lot, but the truth is that only 23 percent of men claim to fantasize frequently. But maybe the rest are just too distracted to check the clock.
Cutting Out Broccoli Will Make Your Semen Taste BetterTRUE: Semen is naturally bitter, and eating broccoli and drinking coffee can make it worse. A ray of hope for the Oral Sex Diet!
Having Sex Before an Important Event—the Big Game, the Critical Presentation—Can Ruin Your Performance in the EventFALSE: Swiss researchers performed stress tests on people 2 and 10 hours after the subjects had had sex, and found that by 10 hours, the participants were fully recovered. There was only a small dip in performance 2 hours after sex.
Having Sex in Water (Swimming Pool, Hot Tub, Shower) Will Kill SpermTRUE: Some of your swimmers may die, but it isn't an effective method of birth control, according to Dr. Pryor. Though a hot tub can overheat your testicles and kill sperm, there should be plenty left for the egg hunt.
You Can Be Addicted to Web PornTRUE: But the risk is low. Only 1 percent of all people who check out Internet porn will become addicted. If you're sporting a ring, be careful: 38 percent of addicts are married.
5 Ways to Please Her Every Time........
5 Ways to Please Her Every Time
Strategic strokes, not size, spark her orgasm. If you really want to know what drives her wild, the answer might just be hiding in her drawer. Here are five lessons you can learn from her favorite sex toys . . .
Linger a LittleUnlike porn actresses, most women first focus sex toys on their clitoris, penetrating only as climax nears, says Lisa Lawless, Ph.D., cofounder of the National Association for Sexual Awareness and Empowerment.
What you can do: Your penis isn't just for penetration. Use it to stroke her outer labia and clitoris during foreplay, says Vivienne Cass, Ph.D., author of The Elusive Orgasm. Gyrating along these pleasure points while steadily increasing pressure will push her desire to the tipping point, so once you penetrate, you'll deliver orgasm-inducing thrusts.
Pick the Right PositionG-spot stimulators target the spongy, sensitive area in her upper vaginal wall, 2 inches from the opening. G-spot (as opposed to clitoral) orgasms come from strategic pressure, not size. "Those huge, manmade members aren't what she's hiding under the mattress," says Lawless.
What you can do: To put pressure on this sensitive area with each thrust, you should enter her when she's on her back, with her knees resting on her chest.
Warm Her UpWith two vibrating petals shaped like a set of hare's ears, the Rabbit rubs both sides of her clitoris.
What you can do: Stimulate (gently) the clitoris from all sides. First, use your index and ring fingers to rub the sides. After she warms up, simultaneously stroke the top of her clitoris with your middle finger, completing the chorus that will send her over the edge.
Multi-TaskDual-action devices massage her clitoris and G-spot in tandem so she's flushed with sensation in the two areas that trigger an orgasm.
What you can do: Good things come in pairs. If you're licking her clitoris, finger her G-spot. If she's in the cowgirl position, rub her clitoris. "At any given time, either the G-spot or the clitoris should receive attention," says Dorian Solot, coauthor of I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide.
Change SpeedsThe classic, multispeed vibrator lets her focus on her most nerve-rich erogenous spot, the clitoris, as she slowly increases the intensity.
What you can do: A little change is good; too much can capsize an orgasm. Always start slow, with gentle, broad strokes of your finger or tongue. Build toward a climax, instead of rapidly changing techniques and intensity. Hum while you lick and you'll cause the same sensation as her pocket rocket.
Strategic strokes, not size, spark her orgasm. If you really want to know what drives her wild, the answer might just be hiding in her drawer. Here are five lessons you can learn from her favorite sex toys . . .
Linger a LittleUnlike porn actresses, most women first focus sex toys on their clitoris, penetrating only as climax nears, says Lisa Lawless, Ph.D., cofounder of the National Association for Sexual Awareness and Empowerment.
What you can do: Your penis isn't just for penetration. Use it to stroke her outer labia and clitoris during foreplay, says Vivienne Cass, Ph.D., author of The Elusive Orgasm. Gyrating along these pleasure points while steadily increasing pressure will push her desire to the tipping point, so once you penetrate, you'll deliver orgasm-inducing thrusts.
Pick the Right PositionG-spot stimulators target the spongy, sensitive area in her upper vaginal wall, 2 inches from the opening. G-spot (as opposed to clitoral) orgasms come from strategic pressure, not size. "Those huge, manmade members aren't what she's hiding under the mattress," says Lawless.
What you can do: To put pressure on this sensitive area with each thrust, you should enter her when she's on her back, with her knees resting on her chest.
Warm Her UpWith two vibrating petals shaped like a set of hare's ears, the Rabbit rubs both sides of her clitoris.
What you can do: Stimulate (gently) the clitoris from all sides. First, use your index and ring fingers to rub the sides. After she warms up, simultaneously stroke the top of her clitoris with your middle finger, completing the chorus that will send her over the edge.
Multi-TaskDual-action devices massage her clitoris and G-spot in tandem so she's flushed with sensation in the two areas that trigger an orgasm.
What you can do: Good things come in pairs. If you're licking her clitoris, finger her G-spot. If she's in the cowgirl position, rub her clitoris. "At any given time, either the G-spot or the clitoris should receive attention," says Dorian Solot, coauthor of I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide.
Change SpeedsThe classic, multispeed vibrator lets her focus on her most nerve-rich erogenous spot, the clitoris, as she slowly increases the intensity.
What you can do: A little change is good; too much can capsize an orgasm. Always start slow, with gentle, broad strokes of your finger or tongue. Build toward a climax, instead of rapidly changing techniques and intensity. Hum while you lick and you'll cause the same sensation as her pocket rocket.
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