Washington: Trying to woo your dream partner, but are clueless in the flirting front? Philosophy professor is here!
Gettysburg College philosophy researcher Steve Gimbel has offered some ethical and practical advice on flirting.
"Flirting is an art form. The accomplished flirt knows when to be subtle and when to be blunt. But the game can be dangerous, especially if you are involved with someone. Does your lover have a right to be pissed at you for flirting? Like so much in ethics, the answer is it depends,” Gimbel said.
Gimbel defined flirting as the first step of courtship without the intent of it going beyond that point. It is good-natured play and added that neither person will get hurt because both parties know that it is going nowhere.
"Flirting is different from engaged, friendly conversation. It is also different from hitting on or teasing someone. There's an edge to flirting because both of you know it isn't real. Flirting is for playing around, hitting on is for players,” Gimbel said.
Gimbel further added that nothing is intrinsically wrong with being a flirt. Exclusive relationships require fidelity and that means not sharing one's most intimate side with anyone else, either physically or emotionally.
"Flirts, like married actors who perform love scenes, are playing a part, only this one is not pre-scripted. The depth of true romantic involvement is something completely different from the shallowness of flirting. A flirt is perfectly capable of enjoying a fulfilling and exclusive relationship. Of course, that requires a certain sort of partner,” he said.
Gimbel explained that generally partners in a relationship come in two flavours: confident and secure or insecure and seeking approval. "Being with a flirt is a constant reminder that the person attracted to you is found attractive by those around you, and some people are comfortable with that but most people are not," Gimbel said.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Made for each other
Riyaz Khan, Actor
MY FIRST MEETING
I had known Uma since childhood but I fell in love with her only during the shoot of our movie. The movie din’t work out, but it worked out for us. (laughs Riyaz)
ATTRACTION FACTOR
She was just the girl I wanted - bold and beautiful. She seemed outgoing and most importantly not a closed pack.Uma's impeccable talent, beautiful looking thick and long hairs were enough to make me fall for her.
THE PURSUIT
Unlike other couples, it was Uma who kicked off the proposal in our case. Though we had known each other for long it was her who made the proposal first. I was overwhelmed with joy as I was also about to confess the same to her. Though it was an inter caste marriage our family did not have any objection and we went ahead tying the knot.
COMMON ZONE
Our wardrobe displays similar collection of brands and even shoes. We do contradict at times in our views but finally I end giving up to whatever she says. I am glad that we both hold a broader view towards life.
MY GROUSE
Undoubtedly, her anger. She goes on bla, bla, and bla when hyper but cools down soon.
HONEY, I CONFESS
Uma, thanks a lot for being a part of my struggles in career and life. I love you for the two wonderful kids you have given me and do remain the same forever.
Uma Riyaz Khan, Actress
MY FIRST MEETING
I had met him few years before marriage on the sets of a film casting both of us. We also did a few photo shoots for the same and that's when I actually noticed him. I had known him for a long time right since he was in New York but we never spoke. His sister was my schoolmate who made things easy for us.
WHAT ATTRACTED
His overall persona charmed me. I had never come across anyone like him in my life. He was (I mean 'is') handsome and soft natured. Generally we don't find guys being soft natured, but he was. Being a New York return he carried an accent which fascinated me the most.
THE PURSUIT
He had come home to give me the photographs of our photo shoot and that's how we started meeting up regularly. The affair was on a roll and we did not beat around the bush to take our love to the next level- Marriage.
COMMON ZONES
He is a very homemade kind of person and I love spending time with him at home. We are complete shopoholics. We have similar taste for clothing, shoes and brands.
MY GROUSE
He is 'Perfect'. It's chanceless to crib anything about him.
HONEY, I CONFESS
Riyaz, you are the only person I love and nobody can ever come between us. I am thankful to God for giving me a husband like you.
MY FIRST MEETING
I had known Uma since childhood but I fell in love with her only during the shoot of our movie. The movie din’t work out, but it worked out for us. (laughs Riyaz)
ATTRACTION FACTOR
She was just the girl I wanted - bold and beautiful. She seemed outgoing and most importantly not a closed pack.Uma's impeccable talent, beautiful looking thick and long hairs were enough to make me fall for her.
THE PURSUIT
Unlike other couples, it was Uma who kicked off the proposal in our case. Though we had known each other for long it was her who made the proposal first. I was overwhelmed with joy as I was also about to confess the same to her. Though it was an inter caste marriage our family did not have any objection and we went ahead tying the knot.
COMMON ZONE
Our wardrobe displays similar collection of brands and even shoes. We do contradict at times in our views but finally I end giving up to whatever she says. I am glad that we both hold a broader view towards life.
MY GROUSE
Undoubtedly, her anger. She goes on bla, bla, and bla when hyper but cools down soon.
HONEY, I CONFESS
Uma, thanks a lot for being a part of my struggles in career and life. I love you for the two wonderful kids you have given me and do remain the same forever.
Uma Riyaz Khan, Actress
MY FIRST MEETING
I had met him few years before marriage on the sets of a film casting both of us. We also did a few photo shoots for the same and that's when I actually noticed him. I had known him for a long time right since he was in New York but we never spoke. His sister was my schoolmate who made things easy for us.
WHAT ATTRACTED
His overall persona charmed me. I had never come across anyone like him in my life. He was (I mean 'is') handsome and soft natured. Generally we don't find guys being soft natured, but he was. Being a New York return he carried an accent which fascinated me the most.
THE PURSUIT
He had come home to give me the photographs of our photo shoot and that's how we started meeting up regularly. The affair was on a roll and we did not beat around the bush to take our love to the next level- Marriage.
COMMON ZONES
He is a very homemade kind of person and I love spending time with him at home. We are complete shopoholics. We have similar taste for clothing, shoes and brands.
MY GROUSE
He is 'Perfect'. It's chanceless to crib anything about him.
HONEY, I CONFESS
Riyaz, you are the only person I love and nobody can ever come between us. I am thankful to God for giving me a husband like you.
Top sex mistakes men make
There just isn’t any other way to say it – a sex slip-up just isn’t sexy, and to save all men from bedroom ‘disasters’, a leading sexologist has come to the rescue.
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc., has come up with top mistakes men make in bed...
The biggest mistakes men make include:
1. Foreplay doesn't start in the sack
The timer for enticing does not start once you hit the sheets. Your pre-game show is best approached as an all day affair.
Women love to be wooed. Sex is a head game — in more ways than one - and women want to know you can’t get them out of your mind. We love knowing that we are desired.
2. Don't head south straight away
A woman needs to be properly aroused before any below-the-belt action feels good. Be sure to focus on her entire body - head to toe - before going for the gold.
3. Get to that G spot
In digging for buried treasure, many guys don’t know that “X” doesn’t always mark the spot. Found on the front wall of the vagina, a woman’s G spot may be a little higher or lower, or more to one side than the other, than often depicted.
4. Don't be too goal-oriented
There is nothing more endearing than a man who wants to play. Just don’t get caught up in yourself. Your sexual exploration should be playtime for two.
Stay “present” in the moment - connecting with your partner will bring the ultimate climax for both of you.
5. Let her be naughty
Sometimes she needs to get in touch with her adulterated side. In fact, research has found that women are more aroused by explicit fantasies than romantic ones. It's not always about the prince on a white horse or canoodling on the beach.
6. She's not a porn star
As seen in porn films, many men expect their lovers to fulfill their every fantasy. Remember that porn is fantasy, not reality. Expecting her to act like a porn star is simply not fair.
7. And men aren't supposed to look like porn stars
Despite what XXX-rated films indicate, most women are not lusting after a three-legged man. Maybe some women are up for the challenge, but many are fine with the guy who fits within the norm. Don’t be too hard on yourself for being just that.
8. One orgasm is not always enough
Women are not as quick to come down from their aroused state as men are post-sex. Many can be launched right back to bliss, and many women do crave more action and orgasms, even if they were perfectly satisfied the first time round.
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc., has come up with top mistakes men make in bed...
The biggest mistakes men make include:
1. Foreplay doesn't start in the sack
The timer for enticing does not start once you hit the sheets. Your pre-game show is best approached as an all day affair.
Women love to be wooed. Sex is a head game — in more ways than one - and women want to know you can’t get them out of your mind. We love knowing that we are desired.
2. Don't head south straight away
A woman needs to be properly aroused before any below-the-belt action feels good. Be sure to focus on her entire body - head to toe - before going for the gold.
3. Get to that G spot
In digging for buried treasure, many guys don’t know that “X” doesn’t always mark the spot. Found on the front wall of the vagina, a woman’s G spot may be a little higher or lower, or more to one side than the other, than often depicted.
4. Don't be too goal-oriented
There is nothing more endearing than a man who wants to play. Just don’t get caught up in yourself. Your sexual exploration should be playtime for two.
Stay “present” in the moment - connecting with your partner will bring the ultimate climax for both of you.
5. Let her be naughty
Sometimes she needs to get in touch with her adulterated side. In fact, research has found that women are more aroused by explicit fantasies than romantic ones. It's not always about the prince on a white horse or canoodling on the beach.
6. She's not a porn star
As seen in porn films, many men expect their lovers to fulfill their every fantasy. Remember that porn is fantasy, not reality. Expecting her to act like a porn star is simply not fair.
7. And men aren't supposed to look like porn stars
Despite what XXX-rated films indicate, most women are not lusting after a three-legged man. Maybe some women are up for the challenge, but many are fine with the guy who fits within the norm. Don’t be too hard on yourself for being just that.
8. One orgasm is not always enough
Women are not as quick to come down from their aroused state as men are post-sex. Many can be launched right back to bliss, and many women do crave more action and orgasms, even if they were perfectly satisfied the first time round.
When to say 'I love you'
When you are totally smitten by him, those three little words are waggling at the tip of your tongue, threatening to tumble at the slightest provocation.
But, you may want to be on guard, unless you want to scare away the poor fella! 'I love you' may be the most natural thing to say when you are dating, but once those words are said, you take your relationship to a whole new plane. There is a world of difference between 'I like you' and 'I love you'. It's time you use them with caution.
They are definitely not the golden words to say when...
The drinks are talking
It definitely may be easy to get those words out and loosen your guard when you are drunk, but the question is if you really mean them, or is it just the vodka that you downed showing its colour!? It is hard to believe anything out of some one who's been hammered. Save the proposals for the pre-party bit. That way, you'll have an even better reason to rejoice.
The love mist is between your eyes
Murmuring sweet nothings into his ear may set the mood for a session of rolling on the mat. But, along with those nothings, it is quite natural to yell 'I love you!' This may leave him baffled into thinking, is it really him that you love?! Don't get heady and impulsive; this will only blur the lines of distinction between love and lust. Hold those reigns, and if you feel the same even when the lust fog lifts you have found true love!
Wired communication
Avoid voicing your inner feelings through the telephone, e- mail or instant messages. Simply because, it is a thrill killer. It is a chicken thing to do. It doesn't show how serious you are. Also spare those emoticons, they are hardly romantic!
Let him see it in your eyes, and judge for himself about how serious you are. If you are indeed serious, there is nothing like looking him in the eye, holding his hand and professing how you feel.
But, you may want to be on guard, unless you want to scare away the poor fella! 'I love you' may be the most natural thing to say when you are dating, but once those words are said, you take your relationship to a whole new plane. There is a world of difference between 'I like you' and 'I love you'. It's time you use them with caution.
They are definitely not the golden words to say when...
The drinks are talking
It definitely may be easy to get those words out and loosen your guard when you are drunk, but the question is if you really mean them, or is it just the vodka that you downed showing its colour!? It is hard to believe anything out of some one who's been hammered. Save the proposals for the pre-party bit. That way, you'll have an even better reason to rejoice.
The love mist is between your eyes
Murmuring sweet nothings into his ear may set the mood for a session of rolling on the mat. But, along with those nothings, it is quite natural to yell 'I love you!' This may leave him baffled into thinking, is it really him that you love?! Don't get heady and impulsive; this will only blur the lines of distinction between love and lust. Hold those reigns, and if you feel the same even when the lust fog lifts you have found true love!
Wired communication
Avoid voicing your inner feelings through the telephone, e- mail or instant messages. Simply because, it is a thrill killer. It is a chicken thing to do. It doesn't show how serious you are. Also spare those emoticons, they are hardly romantic!
Let him see it in your eyes, and judge for himself about how serious you are. If you are indeed serious, there is nothing like looking him in the eye, holding his hand and professing how you feel.
Are you single? Make the most of it!
Does the sight of a friend getting ready for Friday night’s movie-and-dinner routine make you want to crawl under the covers and cry all night? Or do you get the blues every time a colleague croons ‘It’s only words...’? Are you single and feeling sorry for yourself?
Just STOP. Stop all the self-pity, stop inflicting yourself with pain. For a moment ask yourself: are you really lonely or do you want to be in a relationship just because its ‘cool’ and all your friends have one. A beau we mean. Heck, even Kantabai seems to have that ‘dreamy look’ in her eyes lately. Do you really want the phone running off the hook and having your newfound love ask you about your whereabouts every single minute of the day? Do you really want to tag him or her along wherever you go, be it to buy your favourite lingerie or to the spa or an IPL match? Do you really want to be told what to wear and that your favourite jeans are so passé? And worst of all, do you want to stop talking to all your guy/girl friends you’ve known for years only because your partner feels insecure about them?
If you are still trying to find the answers to these questions, it is time to sit back and think...
Is ‘love’ suffocating you?
Quite often, though not always, ‘love’ becomes suffocating after a while. At times, so much so that people feel that they are losing their own identity and being only what their loved one wants them to be.
“I was in love with a guy for two years. I don’t remember any weekend when I had the freedom to go shopping alone or hang out with my friends. My boyfriend assumed that my weekends are only for him. I gave up talking to most of my friends who were guys only because he felt insecure with them. Finally, I decided to break up with him and I realised that I had being losing my identity over the years. Now I am happily single and have all the freedom to do what I want to do without being answerable to anyone,” says Satnam who works in a private bank.
Want to be happily single?
Your best friend may be in a relationship that is just getting on her nerves and your cousin’s marriage may be no better than routine household work, then why is it that people feel sorry for you being single? In fact, being single may be the most wonderful thing that could have happened to you. If you are not convinced yet, check out what’s the fun in being single...
•You can go out shopping alone without getting frantic phone calls from your partner to know your whereabouts.
•You can pamper yourself by experimenting with your looks without getting worried whether he or she will like it or not.
•You can go out with all your friends and flirt to your heart’s content without anyone stopping you from doing so. And, if you are still thinking whether this is the right thing to do, don’t trust your ‘conscience’, for it will never stop you from doing anything wrong, it’ll only stop you from enjoying it!
•Grab a packet of popcorn and go out to watch your favourite romantic film without any one to laugh at you for sobbing through the film. Do all the things you love to do and have been missing out in the last few days. (in case you were recently in a relationship and just called it a day)
•Ignore the toxic people in your life, who would tell you that you are single only because you are too ‘picky’, too fat or too old to be in love.
Being single and loving it!
“I’ve been single for the last one year. It’s not that I haven’t got proposals but I just love my freedom. It’s true that being in a relationship gives you a companion but after a while it also starts interfering with your privacy. I think it’s also about setting priorities. My career is much more important to me than being in a relationship and I think I’ll lose my focus if I am committed to someone,” says Nandita (name changed on request), a software engineer.
While it’s true that companionship is a beautiful part of a relationship, privacy is equally important. The tricky part is keeping the balance and knowing where to draw the line. As Arvinder Singh, a psychotherapist and consultant, says, “The most beautiful relationships are the ones that give you space. You can go places if your partner is supportive. So, being in a relationship may not necessarily mean that you lose your independence. Sometimes, spending time alone can also get difficult.”
Being single is not always easy; there are times when you just want to share that special moment with someone....but till that special someone comes along, enjoy some ‘me time’!
Just STOP. Stop all the self-pity, stop inflicting yourself with pain. For a moment ask yourself: are you really lonely or do you want to be in a relationship just because its ‘cool’ and all your friends have one. A beau we mean. Heck, even Kantabai seems to have that ‘dreamy look’ in her eyes lately. Do you really want the phone running off the hook and having your newfound love ask you about your whereabouts every single minute of the day? Do you really want to tag him or her along wherever you go, be it to buy your favourite lingerie or to the spa or an IPL match? Do you really want to be told what to wear and that your favourite jeans are so passé? And worst of all, do you want to stop talking to all your guy/girl friends you’ve known for years only because your partner feels insecure about them?
If you are still trying to find the answers to these questions, it is time to sit back and think...
Is ‘love’ suffocating you?
Quite often, though not always, ‘love’ becomes suffocating after a while. At times, so much so that people feel that they are losing their own identity and being only what their loved one wants them to be.
“I was in love with a guy for two years. I don’t remember any weekend when I had the freedom to go shopping alone or hang out with my friends. My boyfriend assumed that my weekends are only for him. I gave up talking to most of my friends who were guys only because he felt insecure with them. Finally, I decided to break up with him and I realised that I had being losing my identity over the years. Now I am happily single and have all the freedom to do what I want to do without being answerable to anyone,” says Satnam who works in a private bank.
Want to be happily single?
Your best friend may be in a relationship that is just getting on her nerves and your cousin’s marriage may be no better than routine household work, then why is it that people feel sorry for you being single? In fact, being single may be the most wonderful thing that could have happened to you. If you are not convinced yet, check out what’s the fun in being single...
•You can go out shopping alone without getting frantic phone calls from your partner to know your whereabouts.
•You can pamper yourself by experimenting with your looks without getting worried whether he or she will like it or not.
•You can go out with all your friends and flirt to your heart’s content without anyone stopping you from doing so. And, if you are still thinking whether this is the right thing to do, don’t trust your ‘conscience’, for it will never stop you from doing anything wrong, it’ll only stop you from enjoying it!
•Grab a packet of popcorn and go out to watch your favourite romantic film without any one to laugh at you for sobbing through the film. Do all the things you love to do and have been missing out in the last few days. (in case you were recently in a relationship and just called it a day)
•Ignore the toxic people in your life, who would tell you that you are single only because you are too ‘picky’, too fat or too old to be in love.
Being single and loving it!
“I’ve been single for the last one year. It’s not that I haven’t got proposals but I just love my freedom. It’s true that being in a relationship gives you a companion but after a while it also starts interfering with your privacy. I think it’s also about setting priorities. My career is much more important to me than being in a relationship and I think I’ll lose my focus if I am committed to someone,” says Nandita (name changed on request), a software engineer.
While it’s true that companionship is a beautiful part of a relationship, privacy is equally important. The tricky part is keeping the balance and knowing where to draw the line. As Arvinder Singh, a psychotherapist and consultant, says, “The most beautiful relationships are the ones that give you space. You can go places if your partner is supportive. So, being in a relationship may not necessarily mean that you lose your independence. Sometimes, spending time alone can also get difficult.”
Being single is not always easy; there are times when you just want to share that special moment with someone....but till that special someone comes along, enjoy some ‘me time’!
Male and single?
More and more men are now choosing to stay single – not because they love their freedom but because they are scared of a bad marriage or ending up marrying the wrong person. At least that’s what a recent survey suggests.
"I wanted to give some women an insight into why some smart, successful men opted to stay single - and help lifelong bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties," the Courier Mail quoted Carl Weisman, 49-year-old bachelor, who conducted the online survey to research his book, as saying.
The survey involving 1500 heterosexual men showed that men were 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all.
It also found that about eight per cent of the respondents didn’t want to marry, 62 per cent wanted to marry, of which half won't settle for anything less than perfection, and about 30 per cent who are on the fence. Four out of 10 bachelors did not want children, compared to three out of 10 wanting to be a father. The rest were undecided.
Bachelor boys
But how would it be to stay a bachelor all your life only because you are not sure of what the future holds for you or being afraid that you will marry someone who may fail to live up to your expectations...
“I think everybody is scared of marrying the wrong person in today’s world. Why most men fear it is because they are scared of losing their freedom. But you can’t help falling in love, it just happens. If you know your partner and trust him/her, everything with eventually fall in place,” says TV actor Aamir Ali.
Agreeing with Aamir, actor Hiten Tejwani who has been married for four years says, “If you know what you want from your partner, only then you should go ahead with the relationship, else call it quits. It’s extremely important to know and understand each other before you commit.”
It’s all about money, honey!
Financial issues, both positive and negative, may also play a crucial role in men's fear of commitment. "Those with little money said they would have nothing to offer a partner, with some suffering self-esteem issues and withdrawing from the dating pool," said Weisman. "While those who are financially sound were terrified what a bad divorce could do to them," he added.
Agreeing with that, Hiten says, “Financial stability certainly makes it easier for a man to get into a relationship because you know that you’ll be able to take care of your partner.”
Does that also mean that men are afraid of taking responsibility or are not easily ready for commitment?
“It’s not necessarily the fear of commitment or responsibility. It is mainly because people develop insecurity and anxiety as to how things will shape up in the future. Moreover, owing to extreme work pressure and other commitments, these days it has become difficult for men to find enough time for their personal life,” says Dr Samir Parikh, a psychiatrist.
Perfect lives
Another factor that may be keeping men away from getting into a relationship is their search for perfection. High expectations are an important factor that makes men think twice before committing. “Everyone needs companionship. But at times, people’s expectations are rigid which acts as a hurdle in finding a partner,” adds Dr Parikh.
So, if you are expecting your ‘special someone’ to be Miss Perfect or Miss Right, you’d better be prepared for a long, long wait. But if you are certain
that your partner doesn’t mind your snoring or your evening soirees with your buddies, loves your mom and her cooking...then just grab her before it’s too late!
"I wanted to give some women an insight into why some smart, successful men opted to stay single - and help lifelong bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties," the Courier Mail quoted Carl Weisman, 49-year-old bachelor, who conducted the online survey to research his book, as saying.
The survey involving 1500 heterosexual men showed that men were 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all.
It also found that about eight per cent of the respondents didn’t want to marry, 62 per cent wanted to marry, of which half won't settle for anything less than perfection, and about 30 per cent who are on the fence. Four out of 10 bachelors did not want children, compared to three out of 10 wanting to be a father. The rest were undecided.
Bachelor boys
But how would it be to stay a bachelor all your life only because you are not sure of what the future holds for you or being afraid that you will marry someone who may fail to live up to your expectations...
“I think everybody is scared of marrying the wrong person in today’s world. Why most men fear it is because they are scared of losing their freedom. But you can’t help falling in love, it just happens. If you know your partner and trust him/her, everything with eventually fall in place,” says TV actor Aamir Ali.
Agreeing with Aamir, actor Hiten Tejwani who has been married for four years says, “If you know what you want from your partner, only then you should go ahead with the relationship, else call it quits. It’s extremely important to know and understand each other before you commit.”
It’s all about money, honey!
Financial issues, both positive and negative, may also play a crucial role in men's fear of commitment. "Those with little money said they would have nothing to offer a partner, with some suffering self-esteem issues and withdrawing from the dating pool," said Weisman. "While those who are financially sound were terrified what a bad divorce could do to them," he added.
Agreeing with that, Hiten says, “Financial stability certainly makes it easier for a man to get into a relationship because you know that you’ll be able to take care of your partner.”
Does that also mean that men are afraid of taking responsibility or are not easily ready for commitment?
“It’s not necessarily the fear of commitment or responsibility. It is mainly because people develop insecurity and anxiety as to how things will shape up in the future. Moreover, owing to extreme work pressure and other commitments, these days it has become difficult for men to find enough time for their personal life,” says Dr Samir Parikh, a psychiatrist.
Perfect lives
Another factor that may be keeping men away from getting into a relationship is their search for perfection. High expectations are an important factor that makes men think twice before committing. “Everyone needs companionship. But at times, people’s expectations are rigid which acts as a hurdle in finding a partner,” adds Dr Parikh.
So, if you are expecting your ‘special someone’ to be Miss Perfect or Miss Right, you’d better be prepared for a long, long wait. But if you are certain
that your partner doesn’t mind your snoring or your evening soirees with your buddies, loves your mom and her cooking...then just grab her before it’s too late!
Romance, all cooked up
‘Not tonight darling, I'm too tired', was the dreaded bedroom line, which could dampen the ardour of most men.
Wives, tired after a daylong drudgery, were huge turnoffs for most men. But, in a role reversal of sorts, today we have a more helping variety of husbands who don't mind sharing the household chores with their wives. And they are handsomely rewarded for it too, as women find them very sexy.
According to a study conducted by the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research, when a man cooks and cleans in the house, women consider it to be an expression of his concern, as it physically reduces their stress. The study reveals that such men are considered to be very sexy by the womenfolk. TOI checks out with some city women, if the formula works for them too.
Lovely feeling
Though most of the people don’t really love the housework, yet there’s no denying the fact that it is an important part of life and does influence relationships.
Nagpur-based interior designer Swati Kriplani says, "It's a lovely feeling when my husband helps me around the house. It makes me feel so pampered. The mornings are very hectic for me. Many a time, it so happens that my husband Vinay makes tea or even breakfast for himself if I am in the gym, or just rushing out of the house. It definitely keeps our relationship healthy because such gestures show that he cares for me and values the work that I put in."
Pleasant surprise
She might be adorned with adjectives like a multitasker, yet the truth remains that along with her professional duties, a woman has to bear the extra burden of household chores as well. In such a situation, a wee bit of help from the man can go a long way in soothing the frayed nerves.
Interior designer Aditi Daga says that every woman needs to feel pampered once in a while. "In the six years of my married life, many times I have cribbed over the work pressure and the drudgery of attending to cooking after a long day at work. But, I remember once I returned late after attending a baby shower, and as I entered home the thought of cooking bogged me down. But, to my surprise I found that my husband had cooked the entire meal and laid it on the table. Seeing the expression of surprise on my face, he said, 'See, I too can do it sometimes.' This has happened just twice in the past six years, but it made me feel so special," she gushes.
In each other’s shoes
But, good things don't last forever. So, the love and care shown by the men by helping in household work is also short-lived and happens in spurts. Says Nandini Babhulkar, a Nagpur-based paediatrician, "My husband Sushrut used to help me when we were newlywed. But, now it is rare for him to do so. He is a good cook and had promised to cook breakfast for me on my birthday, but that did not happen as he had to attend to an emergency at the hospital. I think it is good to be in each other's shoes once in a while, as it creates a better understanding."
Saying that it gives the woman a big sense of relief if the husband is competent enough to handle the kitchen, career counselor, Sapna Sharma says, "I have very busy schedules, but I have never worried about who would cook or take care of the kids, as my husband takes care of all these things. I know I can depend on him and that makes me so happy."
‘It adds to your sex appeal’
Celebrity chef Sanjeev Kapoor on men with culinary expertise: "Men who cook must be considered sexy because I
have a huge female fan following! But jokes apart, cooking involves a lot of experimentation and innovation. And if a man is able to conjure up a tasty dish, then it does add to his sex
appeal.”
Wives, tired after a daylong drudgery, were huge turnoffs for most men. But, in a role reversal of sorts, today we have a more helping variety of husbands who don't mind sharing the household chores with their wives. And they are handsomely rewarded for it too, as women find them very sexy.
According to a study conducted by the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research, when a man cooks and cleans in the house, women consider it to be an expression of his concern, as it physically reduces their stress. The study reveals that such men are considered to be very sexy by the womenfolk. TOI checks out with some city women, if the formula works for them too.
Lovely feeling
Though most of the people don’t really love the housework, yet there’s no denying the fact that it is an important part of life and does influence relationships.
Nagpur-based interior designer Swati Kriplani says, "It's a lovely feeling when my husband helps me around the house. It makes me feel so pampered. The mornings are very hectic for me. Many a time, it so happens that my husband Vinay makes tea or even breakfast for himself if I am in the gym, or just rushing out of the house. It definitely keeps our relationship healthy because such gestures show that he cares for me and values the work that I put in."
Pleasant surprise
She might be adorned with adjectives like a multitasker, yet the truth remains that along with her professional duties, a woman has to bear the extra burden of household chores as well. In such a situation, a wee bit of help from the man can go a long way in soothing the frayed nerves.
Interior designer Aditi Daga says that every woman needs to feel pampered once in a while. "In the six years of my married life, many times I have cribbed over the work pressure and the drudgery of attending to cooking after a long day at work. But, I remember once I returned late after attending a baby shower, and as I entered home the thought of cooking bogged me down. But, to my surprise I found that my husband had cooked the entire meal and laid it on the table. Seeing the expression of surprise on my face, he said, 'See, I too can do it sometimes.' This has happened just twice in the past six years, but it made me feel so special," she gushes.
In each other’s shoes
But, good things don't last forever. So, the love and care shown by the men by helping in household work is also short-lived and happens in spurts. Says Nandini Babhulkar, a Nagpur-based paediatrician, "My husband Sushrut used to help me when we were newlywed. But, now it is rare for him to do so. He is a good cook and had promised to cook breakfast for me on my birthday, but that did not happen as he had to attend to an emergency at the hospital. I think it is good to be in each other's shoes once in a while, as it creates a better understanding."
Saying that it gives the woman a big sense of relief if the husband is competent enough to handle the kitchen, career counselor, Sapna Sharma says, "I have very busy schedules, but I have never worried about who would cook or take care of the kids, as my husband takes care of all these things. I know I can depend on him and that makes me so happy."
‘It adds to your sex appeal’
Celebrity chef Sanjeev Kapoor on men with culinary expertise: "Men who cook must be considered sexy because I
have a huge female fan following! But jokes apart, cooking involves a lot of experimentation and innovation. And if a man is able to conjure up a tasty dish, then it does add to his sex
appeal.”
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