If you're like 86% of men, measuring yours properly will eradicate any concerns
Sizing yourself up
First, stop looking at it from your lofty vantage point - ie from above. That's not how she sees it and it gives you a false impression of size. Second, measure it properly. Most men underestimate the size of their penis. In a study at the University of Pittsburgh, US, 26% of men gauged their own penis size as below average, and only 5% ticked the above average box. What's more, research from the University of Saskatchewan, Canada, showed that 86% of men said their penis size worries vanished after they were educated about penis size.
Here comes your education. Grab a tape measure and a ruler. Now measure your penis properly following the instructions below, and compare it to size averages (based on studies in the US and Australia):
Your standby length
To check your flaccid length, undress and measure it immediately. Because a cold or warm room can cause shrinkage or growth, you need to do this before room temperature affects your pride and joy. "Position the tip of the ruler gently against the point where the shaft meets the abdomen," says urologist Dr Hunter Wessells, who has studied penis size. Then simply bend the ruler along the shaft and read the length. An average length is 3.43 inches. Breathe a big sigh of relief.
Your erect length
Get hard and measure it quick. Again, get the ruler on to your penis as soon as you become fully erect. Now measure the top of your erection, ie the side furthest from your testicles, and check the figure at the tip of your shaft, holding the ruler against your penis base. An average length here is 5.03 inches.
Your erect girth
Maintaining your erection, wrap a tape measure around your penis at its base. An average size here is 5.14 inches around.
Your erection angle
With your back against a wall and a mirror in side view, estimate your angle. A 90-degree angle would point directly out in front, 180 degrees up at your chin. An average angle is 105.7 degrees - slightly up from horizontal.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Foods for harder erections
Coffee
The caffeine kick from a cup of Java boosts your metabolism, gets your blood pumping and could also enhance endurance by releasing fat stores, giving you the energy to last all night.
Oysters
Yes, there is a reason for their sexy reputation. Oysters are rich in the mineral zinc and vitamin B6, both of which are vital for testosterone, without which you’d have the sex drive of a dead slug. If the thought of grey shellfish gloop sliding down your throat makes you gag, boost your testosterone with nuts and seeds instead.
Chillies
Spice up your love life with chillies. When your face flushes after eating a curry, that’s the blood vessels expanding thanks to the effect of the chillies. And it’s not just the blood vessels in your face that get the boost. Biologically speaking a hard-on is simple hydraulics – more liquid (blood) being forced into little tubes (blood vessels) in your penis – so what you need is a strong heart and smooth, healthy pipework.
Bananas
Hard men have healthy hearts, so eat bananas for potassium, which is great for your heart and circulation. Getting enough potassium helps keep your sodium levels under control, stopping your blood pressure from hitting the roof and reducing your risk of heart problems. If you eat too much salt and don’t like bananas, get your potassium from oranges or jacket potatoes (the mineral’s in the skin).
Salmon
The omega-3 fatty acids in oily fish make the blood less sticky, enhancing blood flow to the parts that matter. Eat fish like salmon, mackerel, trout and fresh tuna twice a week to keep your arteries well-oiled.
Pork
Contrary to popular belief, the penis does not have a mind of its own. To make it a fine and upstanding specimen, your neurons must be co-ordinated with military precision. You need thiamine, aka vitamin B1, for a healthy nervous system, so eat pork to help fire your swimmers in the right direction. Can’t or don’t eat pig? Get your B from beans and wholemeal bread.
Cherries
Cherries are packed full of anthocyanins, colourful plant chemicals which protect your artery walls, helping prevent the fatty plaques that lead to atherosclerosis, or clogged arteries. Don’t fancy cherries? Berries, or brightly coloured fruit such as peaches, nectarines and plums, will all keep your arteries smooth as a baby’s nether regions.
Onions
The phytochemical allicin in onions and garlic thins the blood and enhances your circulation, as well as making it less likely to clot and clog. Avoid unsexy onion-breath by chewing parsley or peppermints.
Wine
Wine – especially red wine – is a great source of the antioxidant phytochemical resveratrol, which helps open the arteries by enhancing the production of nitric oxide. Nitric oxide allows the blood vessels to expand, and this is how Viagra works. But while the little blue pill only works on tiny blood vessels, resveratrol helps your main arteries too. Make sure you stop at one or two glasses of wine – too much alcohol leads to the dreaded droop.
Porridge
Porridge isn’t sexy, but the soluble fibre in oatmeal mops up cholesterol, helping keep your blood vessels smooth and stretchy. So get your oats!
The caffeine kick from a cup of Java boosts your metabolism, gets your blood pumping and could also enhance endurance by releasing fat stores, giving you the energy to last all night.
Oysters
Yes, there is a reason for their sexy reputation. Oysters are rich in the mineral zinc and vitamin B6, both of which are vital for testosterone, without which you’d have the sex drive of a dead slug. If the thought of grey shellfish gloop sliding down your throat makes you gag, boost your testosterone with nuts and seeds instead.
Chillies
Spice up your love life with chillies. When your face flushes after eating a curry, that’s the blood vessels expanding thanks to the effect of the chillies. And it’s not just the blood vessels in your face that get the boost. Biologically speaking a hard-on is simple hydraulics – more liquid (blood) being forced into little tubes (blood vessels) in your penis – so what you need is a strong heart and smooth, healthy pipework.
Bananas
Hard men have healthy hearts, so eat bananas for potassium, which is great for your heart and circulation. Getting enough potassium helps keep your sodium levels under control, stopping your blood pressure from hitting the roof and reducing your risk of heart problems. If you eat too much salt and don’t like bananas, get your potassium from oranges or jacket potatoes (the mineral’s in the skin).
Salmon
The omega-3 fatty acids in oily fish make the blood less sticky, enhancing blood flow to the parts that matter. Eat fish like salmon, mackerel, trout and fresh tuna twice a week to keep your arteries well-oiled.
Pork
Contrary to popular belief, the penis does not have a mind of its own. To make it a fine and upstanding specimen, your neurons must be co-ordinated with military precision. You need thiamine, aka vitamin B1, for a healthy nervous system, so eat pork to help fire your swimmers in the right direction. Can’t or don’t eat pig? Get your B from beans and wholemeal bread.
Cherries
Cherries are packed full of anthocyanins, colourful plant chemicals which protect your artery walls, helping prevent the fatty plaques that lead to atherosclerosis, or clogged arteries. Don’t fancy cherries? Berries, or brightly coloured fruit such as peaches, nectarines and plums, will all keep your arteries smooth as a baby’s nether regions.
Onions
The phytochemical allicin in onions and garlic thins the blood and enhances your circulation, as well as making it less likely to clot and clog. Avoid unsexy onion-breath by chewing parsley or peppermints.
Wine
Wine – especially red wine – is a great source of the antioxidant phytochemical resveratrol, which helps open the arteries by enhancing the production of nitric oxide. Nitric oxide allows the blood vessels to expand, and this is how Viagra works. But while the little blue pill only works on tiny blood vessels, resveratrol helps your main arteries too. Make sure you stop at one or two glasses of wine – too much alcohol leads to the dreaded droop.
Porridge
Porridge isn’t sexy, but the soluble fibre in oatmeal mops up cholesterol, helping keep your blood vessels smooth and stretchy. So get your oats!
Fit in your 30s
The melt fat decade
The metabolic rate that allowed you to burn through tikka masalas in your 20s is gradually slowing by one per cent every four years. And even if the figure on your scales isn't rising, it doesn't mean you aren't becoming any fatter. In a study published by the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, scientists found that men who managed to maintain their weight for 40 years still gained three pounds of fat each decade, pounds they directly exchanged for muscle.
The primary reason is that past the age of 30 your testosterone levels decrease by up to one per cent a year. This means it becomes harder for you to build or simply maintain metabolism-boosting muscle. But sagging testosterone levels aren't your only health hazard: from now on your systolic (in other words, peak) blood pressure rises by four points per decade and joint degeneration begins to occur.
To prevent the onset of midlife kicking you in the teeth, here's how to wind back the hands of your biological clock.
The problem
Corroding joints
Arthritis doesn't usually start reeking havoc until you hit your 50s, but the damage that causes it is happening now. Neglect to take the appropriate care now and you can think of it as missing down-payments on your health mortgage. The key is to act before your joints are repossessed.
The fix
Guess what? The answer's fish again. Sorry, but it's inescapable: eat a hearty portion of cold-water fish three times a week, specifically oil-rich varieties such as salmon, mackerel, trout or halibut. With each serving packing more than 1,000 mg of fish oil, regular consumption has been shown by a recent study to halt cartilage-eating enzymes in 86 per cent of people facing joint-replacement surgery. According to lead researcher Dr Bruce Caterson, fish oil slows down cartilage degeneration and reduces inflammation.
The problem
Rising blood pressure
Some men are always close to their boiling points, and new research from Holland may explain why. Scientists discovered that besides the obvious factors – obesity, lack of physical activity, high salt consumption – diets containing too little potassium were the primary cause of hypertension. Their analysis concluded that 3,500mg daily constitutes a low potassium intake, a worrying conclusion when the average intake for a man in his 30s is just 3,100mg.
The fix
Add 1⁄2 cup of kidney beans, a banana or a handful of raisins to your daily diet. Each will increase your potassium intake by about 400 mg a day, boosting you above that 3,500 mg threshold.
The problem
Waning sex drive
Yes, it happens, no matter how much your better half complains of your one-track mind. For all your 20s exuberance and ribald pub banter, one of the less frequently uttered grievances of a man in his 30s is a slow withering of the inclination to display his athleticism come bedtime. And no one wants that.
The fix
Munch on two handfuls of walnuts, peanuts or almonds every day. Research shows that men with diets high in mono-unsaturates - the kind found here – have higher testosterone levels than those who shun the healthy fat. Nuts are also the best food source of arginine, an amino acid that improves bloodflow throughout your body, including the areas south of your belt.
The problem
Your metabolism is slowing
It's a fact of life that your body is slowing down, but that doesn't mean you have to take it lying down. By snacking on foods that are low in sugar but rich in protein you'll keep your metabolic furnace stoked and be less likely to binge between meals.
The fix
Nibble on a slice of hard cheese (Cheddar, Swiss, parmesan) three times a day and you'll be swallowing in the region of 20g of protein. The fact cheese doesn't contain any sugar means that your blood-sugar levels stay low and stable and your body stays in fat-burning gear. But if a slice of mousetrap isn't your thing, opt for a cup of low-fat plain yoghurt or a stick of beef jerky; better still, kill two birds with one stone and grab a handful of almonds (see Waning sex drive above).
The problem
You can't lift the weights you used to
As a kid you probably have looked on your dad as the embodiment of manly strength, but the chances are his apparent mightiness was already on a downward spiral. As testosterone levels inevitably drop with the onset of your thirties, the cruel rules kick in as it takes longer for your muscles to return to full strength after each workout.
The fix
Eat broccoli and bell peppers at every opportunity. Together they're packed with vitamins C and E, two nutrients which fight the free radicals that slow the repair of exercise-induced muscle damage. Try this 15-minute meal from a man who knows a thing or two about workout recovery: MH cover model Gregg Avedon. Infused with crucial vitamins, high-quality protein and slow-digesting carbohydrates, it's the perfect meal to whip up after a strenuous weights session.
1. In a deep saucepan, sauté 1 tablespoon of chopped onion, 1⁄4 of a red bell pepper (cut into long, thin strips) and a pinch of black pepper on medium heat for 2 minutes.
2. Next, add 250g of turkey breast strips and 1 teaspoon of dried sage.
3. Brown the turkey for 2 minutes, then add 200ml of chicken broth and a good fistful of broccoli florets.
4. Bring to a boil for 1 minute, then stir in some plain, uncooked couscous.
5. Cover the pan, remove from the heat, then let it sit for 5 to 10 minutes. Serve when the couscous has absorbed all the liquid.
The metabolic rate that allowed you to burn through tikka masalas in your 20s is gradually slowing by one per cent every four years. And even if the figure on your scales isn't rising, it doesn't mean you aren't becoming any fatter. In a study published by the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, scientists found that men who managed to maintain their weight for 40 years still gained three pounds of fat each decade, pounds they directly exchanged for muscle.
The primary reason is that past the age of 30 your testosterone levels decrease by up to one per cent a year. This means it becomes harder for you to build or simply maintain metabolism-boosting muscle. But sagging testosterone levels aren't your only health hazard: from now on your systolic (in other words, peak) blood pressure rises by four points per decade and joint degeneration begins to occur.
To prevent the onset of midlife kicking you in the teeth, here's how to wind back the hands of your biological clock.
The problem
Corroding joints
Arthritis doesn't usually start reeking havoc until you hit your 50s, but the damage that causes it is happening now. Neglect to take the appropriate care now and you can think of it as missing down-payments on your health mortgage. The key is to act before your joints are repossessed.
The fix
Guess what? The answer's fish again. Sorry, but it's inescapable: eat a hearty portion of cold-water fish three times a week, specifically oil-rich varieties such as salmon, mackerel, trout or halibut. With each serving packing more than 1,000 mg of fish oil, regular consumption has been shown by a recent study to halt cartilage-eating enzymes in 86 per cent of people facing joint-replacement surgery. According to lead researcher Dr Bruce Caterson, fish oil slows down cartilage degeneration and reduces inflammation.
The problem
Rising blood pressure
Some men are always close to their boiling points, and new research from Holland may explain why. Scientists discovered that besides the obvious factors – obesity, lack of physical activity, high salt consumption – diets containing too little potassium were the primary cause of hypertension. Their analysis concluded that 3,500mg daily constitutes a low potassium intake, a worrying conclusion when the average intake for a man in his 30s is just 3,100mg.
The fix
Add 1⁄2 cup of kidney beans, a banana or a handful of raisins to your daily diet. Each will increase your potassium intake by about 400 mg a day, boosting you above that 3,500 mg threshold.
The problem
Waning sex drive
Yes, it happens, no matter how much your better half complains of your one-track mind. For all your 20s exuberance and ribald pub banter, one of the less frequently uttered grievances of a man in his 30s is a slow withering of the inclination to display his athleticism come bedtime. And no one wants that.
The fix
Munch on two handfuls of walnuts, peanuts or almonds every day. Research shows that men with diets high in mono-unsaturates - the kind found here – have higher testosterone levels than those who shun the healthy fat. Nuts are also the best food source of arginine, an amino acid that improves bloodflow throughout your body, including the areas south of your belt.
The problem
Your metabolism is slowing
It's a fact of life that your body is slowing down, but that doesn't mean you have to take it lying down. By snacking on foods that are low in sugar but rich in protein you'll keep your metabolic furnace stoked and be less likely to binge between meals.
The fix
Nibble on a slice of hard cheese (Cheddar, Swiss, parmesan) three times a day and you'll be swallowing in the region of 20g of protein. The fact cheese doesn't contain any sugar means that your blood-sugar levels stay low and stable and your body stays in fat-burning gear. But if a slice of mousetrap isn't your thing, opt for a cup of low-fat plain yoghurt or a stick of beef jerky; better still, kill two birds with one stone and grab a handful of almonds (see Waning sex drive above).
The problem
You can't lift the weights you used to
As a kid you probably have looked on your dad as the embodiment of manly strength, but the chances are his apparent mightiness was already on a downward spiral. As testosterone levels inevitably drop with the onset of your thirties, the cruel rules kick in as it takes longer for your muscles to return to full strength after each workout.
The fix
Eat broccoli and bell peppers at every opportunity. Together they're packed with vitamins C and E, two nutrients which fight the free radicals that slow the repair of exercise-induced muscle damage. Try this 15-minute meal from a man who knows a thing or two about workout recovery: MH cover model Gregg Avedon. Infused with crucial vitamins, high-quality protein and slow-digesting carbohydrates, it's the perfect meal to whip up after a strenuous weights session.
1. In a deep saucepan, sauté 1 tablespoon of chopped onion, 1⁄4 of a red bell pepper (cut into long, thin strips) and a pinch of black pepper on medium heat for 2 minutes.
2. Next, add 250g of turkey breast strips and 1 teaspoon of dried sage.
3. Brown the turkey for 2 minutes, then add 200ml of chicken broth and a good fistful of broccoli florets.
4. Bring to a boil for 1 minute, then stir in some plain, uncooked couscous.
5. Cover the pan, remove from the heat, then let it sit for 5 to 10 minutes. Serve when the couscous has absorbed all the liquid.
15-minute food: mid-morning muscle fuel
Dried fruit muesli
By Robin Gill, head chef at Sauterelle, London
Ingredients
1 apple
1 banana
1 lemon
1tbsp pine nuts or hazel nuts
1tbsp dried parsnip
1tbsp dried banana
1tbsp dried apple
1tsp sunflower seeds
3tbsp oats
Skimmed milk
Natural yoghurt
Drizzle of honey
The 15-minute method
1-4mins Core and slice the apple, then peel and slice the banana.
4-5mins Squeeze over some lemon juice. The juice will keep the fruit fresh rather than withering like your legs after ‘Squats Tuesday’.
5-13mins Stick the dry ingredients in a bowl and mix. Sprinkle on the nuts. This mixture can be stored in an airtight container for up to a week, so mix some more and you’ll be set for a week’s worth of spoon reps.
13-15mins Splash over the milk. Add more if you’re after quicker-wolfing wetness, less if you want some bite before crunch time at the gym. Finally, add the yoghurt and drizzle with honey.
Your body’s benefit
“The banana is full of slow-release carbs to fuel your workout. The rest of the fruit and oats make this high fibre as well as low GI, which combine for a steady supply of energy rather than a spike and crash,” says sports nutritionist Trevor Bedding. Which means you won’t bottom out when you’re at full tilt on the treadmill.
By Robin Gill, head chef at Sauterelle, London
Ingredients
1 apple
1 banana
1 lemon
1tbsp pine nuts or hazel nuts
1tbsp dried parsnip
1tbsp dried banana
1tbsp dried apple
1tsp sunflower seeds
3tbsp oats
Skimmed milk
Natural yoghurt
Drizzle of honey
The 15-minute method
1-4mins Core and slice the apple, then peel and slice the banana.
4-5mins Squeeze over some lemon juice. The juice will keep the fruit fresh rather than withering like your legs after ‘Squats Tuesday’.
5-13mins Stick the dry ingredients in a bowl and mix. Sprinkle on the nuts. This mixture can be stored in an airtight container for up to a week, so mix some more and you’ll be set for a week’s worth of spoon reps.
13-15mins Splash over the milk. Add more if you’re after quicker-wolfing wetness, less if you want some bite before crunch time at the gym. Finally, add the yoghurt and drizzle with honey.
Your body’s benefit
“The banana is full of slow-release carbs to fuel your workout. The rest of the fruit and oats make this high fibre as well as low GI, which combine for a steady supply of energy rather than a spike and crash,” says sports nutritionist Trevor Bedding. Which means you won’t bottom out when you’re at full tilt on the treadmill.
Boost your libido with home-made energy bars..
Without energy there’s no libido worth talking about. The rice crisps and honey in these energy bars (which should come free with all Agent Provocateur purchases) are full of vitamin B, which is vital for testosterone production. But the selenium-loaded Brazil nuts are the true powerhouses. And according to the University of Padua, in Italy, the key cause of male infertility is a diet low in this nutrient. Nuts to that!
Ingredients
80ml butter
75ml honey
100g brown sugar
200g brown rice crisps
10 Brazil nuts chopped
3tbsp chocolate chips
1/2tsp vanilla essence
Method
1. Mix the butter, honey and sugar in a pan. Bring to the boil while stirring over a medium heat. Keep it boiling and keep stirring for three minutes.
2. Measure the puffed brown rice crisps into a large bowl and add the Brazil nuts. Take the mixture off the heat and stir in the vanilla (it makes a great sound). Then pour the mixture over the rice crisps and stir until coated. Do this quickly as you don’t want it to start to firm up in the bowl.
3. Press into a greased pan and sprinkle the chocolate chips over the mixture. Once it’s cool, cut it into individual bars then serve. Stick Barry White on the stereo...
Ingredients
80ml butter
75ml honey
100g brown sugar
200g brown rice crisps
10 Brazil nuts chopped
3tbsp chocolate chips
1/2tsp vanilla essence
Method
1. Mix the butter, honey and sugar in a pan. Bring to the boil while stirring over a medium heat. Keep it boiling and keep stirring for three minutes.
2. Measure the puffed brown rice crisps into a large bowl and add the Brazil nuts. Take the mixture off the heat and stir in the vanilla (it makes a great sound). Then pour the mixture over the rice crisps and stir until coated. Do this quickly as you don’t want it to start to firm up in the bowl.
3. Press into a greased pan and sprinkle the chocolate chips over the mixture. Once it’s cool, cut it into individual bars then serve. Stick Barry White on the stereo...
Some Ramblings - Inside Job
"Of the rich, by the rich and for the rich" writes Srinivas Kachibhotla
At some point during the housing bubble crisis, which triggered world wide recession, it was estimated that the percentage of homeowners who could no longer pay their mortgages and so willfully walked away from their contractual obligation was a WHOPPING 6%. How could that be? How could a mere 6% hold the world hostage by bringing the financial system to its knees essentially shutting the system down? What about the other 94%? Could they not cover for the bad debts of their home owning brethren? A more pertinent question, what has mortgage crisis in US got to do with the financial systems of the rest of the world? 'Inside Job' is an in depth investigation of what is probably a financial conspiracy of epic proportions that involved the worst of everything in a capitalistic economic system - practices, governance, policies and regulation. In the aftermath of the tornado, when the world is still busy picking up the pieces, let alone start rebuilding, it becomes amply clear how collective dereliction of duties and abnegation of responsibilities at the highest levels can allow unchecked human greed to decide and dictate its survival and thriving ways and means, at the expense of the rest of the world, quite literally. And when the blame game starts to find one person, one party, one policy responsible for this horrid mess, the people at the top come together breaking ranks and party lines in a show of camaraderie and protect their flock, making sure that the most they got for ruining systems and lives is a little wrap on the wrists. But aren't those 6% contract breakers the real villains here, felling the first domino? Why blame the 'poor' Wall Street? And the rabbit-hole gets bigger, deeper and wider as the documentary turns its focus on all the key players in the conspiracy - bankers (investment and commercial), politicians, government regulators and even the academicians.
During the 80s, at the height of Reagan era deregulation/pro-market policies (who in fact (in)famously remarked, that government is not the solution to the problem, government is the problem), government oversight and regulation got handed its first defeat at the hands of intense lobbying of Wall Street's financial firms, which resulted in the merger of commercial and investment banks. So what's wrong with that, aren't both of them banks anyway? Simple, commercial banks which made its living by lending out the same money that people saved in their institutions went a step further and donned the role of a broker by betting (though it is termed quite misleadingly as investing) the money in the stock market for want of bigger and faster returns. It doesn't take a financial genius to predict the end result of such foolhardiness - Savings and Loans crisis, which brought down the banks and with them, the economy (and almost finished the career of the then Presidential hopeful senator who went by name of John McCain). One would imagine that the powers that be took a notice or two from the devastating effects and refrain from heading the same path with impunity again. Mark Twain once said, history does not repeat, it rhymes. So, not the same exact crisis, but a similar one, and with even more devastation the next time around. This time it was Mr. Clinton's time in the 90's. Buoyed by the economic success brought about by the technological and internet revolution, the government, at the behest of pandering politicians, relaxed the rules on owning a house, dubbing it as the ultimate realization of the American dream. And Wall Street, which was just dusting up falling hard on its face propping up facile internet companies and contributing to the dot-com bubble, found a new muse. Right up till that point, the Street, rightly or wrongly, speculated on real ideas, practices and innovations, be it in manufacturing, commodities and even internet. The crash of internet hit Wall Street firms, which by then got accustomed to double-digit growths and triple-digit index soars, hard. So how would the Street start marketing the oldest commodity in the world, land, in a new way to earn the same insane ROI's as the internet stocks delivered?
In hindsight, all the conditions were set right for the perfect storm - Wall Street still had some money to play around, after the internet crash and burn, and the real estate market was just steaming up, thanks to non-existent standards in lending practices and due diligence. Again conventional wisdom states that, bad economy or otherwise, if one can no longer a mortgage, the lending institution which owns the mortgage would evict the owner, take possession of the home, and put it back on the market and cover its losses. Right? WRONG. And here is where Wall Street should either be roundly applauded for its innovation or soundly vilified for its greed. Instead of letting the mortgage stay with the lending institution (bank), which in fact put up the money for the home in the first place, the geniuses at the financial firms figured a way of splitting the mortgage up and sell it as just any other stock in the market, essentially spreading the risk around, in case the mortgage failed. The practice was named, quite ironically, securitization. In this system of spread bets, no one institution owned up all the risks. The lending institutions opened up the flood gates on mortgage applications pairing people and houses, without checking any antecedents, as they washed their hands off them anyway, once the paperwork is finalized. No income, no problem, no job, not an issue, bad credit, just the right candidate. Sign here, here and initial there. That's all it took to own a home, the ability to sign at areas marked X. The financial firms then took those mortgages, sliced them up and put them up for sale on the trading floor. So what's in it for the lending and the financial firms, signing up as many people as they can attract? Commissions and fees. The mantra is simple - sign up by the hundreds of thousands and rake in billions.
But a question arises, when not all mortgages are created equal, how would an investor on the trading floor differentiate between a risky mortgage (signed by a near delinquent) to a relatively safe one (backed by one with a stable job). And the net widens, implicating the next player - rating agencies. These agencies, which are the final frontier in regulation, were supposed to investigate the inherent risks of the sliced and the bundled mortgages (called Collateral Debt Obligations - CDOs) and award ratings accordingly - AAA, safest for investment....down to DD (very risky) - which could affect their investment prospects. So where does conspiracy come in here? These rating agencies were paid by the financial firms into awarding stellar ratings even to substandard CDOs, just to push them out of the door and into the throats of the unwitting investors, as fast as they could bundle them up. The more CDOs the agencies rated, the more money they made in fees. So technically, when the mortgages went bad and people (those 6%) walked away from their homes, only the investors who bought those bad stocks should be affected. Why was the whole economy taken down? The risk taking didn't end there. Insurance companies were brought in the mix to hedge against those risks. Through another nefarious collusion of Wall Street and insurance companies, a new insurance instrument, called Credit Default Swap (CDS) was created, which acted like an insurance policy against those CDOs. So if the CDOs went bad, the firms which took CDS against the CDOs that they held and traded got paid. Standard operating procedure? WRONG AGAIN.
These are special insurance instruments, where one can bet (insure) for and against the same stock. So if the financial firm took out two insurance policies against the same CDO, one, for when the CDO went bad, and the other, betting that the CDO would indeed go bad, they got paid either way (Heads I win, tails you lose). But why would any insurance company, in its right mind, accept such a bargain, where it is bound in both the scenarios. One, the delusional hope that economy would never go bad and those mortgages would never fail and so would never have to pay those policies, and second, even more important, fees (premiums) on the mind-boggling volume. In the end, it was the volume that killed it all. It was the volume that incentivized such a risk tasking from the lending institutions to the financial firms, from the commercial banks to the insurance companies, that no one could say no to the millions and billions that poured it with little effort. And even more mind numbing fact about the CDS is that, ANYBODY, not just the holders of the CDO's, could bet against those financial instruments. With this last puzzle in place, the trading floor essentially became one giant casino, where anybody could bet on anything for any amount, with the little difference that the house made money, immaterial of a win or a loss. And then the economy tanked.
The free fall of investment banks, commercial banks, insurance companies, the employee pension funds that invested in the CDO's based on their stellar ratings, mutual funds, just about any stock that is even remotely connected to real estate, and with them the global economy that bet big on American real estate and stock market, gave a terrifying glimpse of how interconnected the system and how literal the figurative saying, about a flapping butterfly in Hawaii bringing about a tornado in Taiwan, was. The near bankrupt investment banks that bought, held and traded worthless CDOs made a run on the insurance firms trying to collect their amounts for failed CDOs. The risk for insurance companies soon turned for arithmetic to geometric, and from geometric to exponential in a matter of a couple of days, having gleefully accepted bets (premiums) on the same items for both the outcomes. And there definitely wasn't enough money in the system that could cover all the bets for varying outcomes. And when it was time to pay the Piper, Chapter 11 bankruptcy became the quick refuge. All lending stopped, and insecurity and distrust ruled the roost.
Where do politicians figure in this maelstrom? First, having pulled out all the door-stops on regulation and oversight, which could have if not prevented at least minimized the effect of the fraud of this magnitude from ever being perpetrated, the politicians played, yet again, into the hands of the financial industry and announced trillions of dollars of tax-payers' money as immediate relief, (falsely) claiming that these financial and insurance institutions were 'too big to fail'. And where did a portion of the money go towards - millions of dollars in bonuses and walk away monies, for financial and insurance executives who essentially ran the economy to the ground and ruined millions of lives.
The documentary is aptly titled 'Inside Job' as it has been one, right from the start, making full use of the loopholes of the system, exploiting every one of its weaknesses (buying influence through campaign contributions, affecting legislation through lobbying, and the biggest of all, having the same financial heads from those same financial firms who made some of the ruinous decisions earlier, at all the key positions in the government, irrespective of which party was in power), and maneuvering the administrative machinery to nicely fall in step with the wild, ambitious and even treacherous goals and plans of the financial industry. In the end, 'Inside Job' is a heartburn, a tragedy, a cautionary tale, a searing take on the serious miscarriage of regulation and oversight, to make it all a MUST WATCH. The takeaways, among many other things, can even be the cynical outlook that capitalism has always been and will remain one of the rich, by the rich and for the rich and the influential.
Remember the story from the local lore about the 7 princes and 7 fish? And the reason for the un-dried fish ultimately ends up because of some unrelated little kid putting his hand deep inside the anthill where it didn't belong? Now, was it really those 6% who ruined it for everybody, or a fat-cat in a black suit (Dick Fuld, head of Lehman brothers, for example, who made $485 million dollars in the year of the crisis) who mucked up the system?
At some point during the housing bubble crisis, which triggered world wide recession, it was estimated that the percentage of homeowners who could no longer pay their mortgages and so willfully walked away from their contractual obligation was a WHOPPING 6%. How could that be? How could a mere 6% hold the world hostage by bringing the financial system to its knees essentially shutting the system down? What about the other 94%? Could they not cover for the bad debts of their home owning brethren? A more pertinent question, what has mortgage crisis in US got to do with the financial systems of the rest of the world? 'Inside Job' is an in depth investigation of what is probably a financial conspiracy of epic proportions that involved the worst of everything in a capitalistic economic system - practices, governance, policies and regulation. In the aftermath of the tornado, when the world is still busy picking up the pieces, let alone start rebuilding, it becomes amply clear how collective dereliction of duties and abnegation of responsibilities at the highest levels can allow unchecked human greed to decide and dictate its survival and thriving ways and means, at the expense of the rest of the world, quite literally. And when the blame game starts to find one person, one party, one policy responsible for this horrid mess, the people at the top come together breaking ranks and party lines in a show of camaraderie and protect their flock, making sure that the most they got for ruining systems and lives is a little wrap on the wrists. But aren't those 6% contract breakers the real villains here, felling the first domino? Why blame the 'poor' Wall Street? And the rabbit-hole gets bigger, deeper and wider as the documentary turns its focus on all the key players in the conspiracy - bankers (investment and commercial), politicians, government regulators and even the academicians.
During the 80s, at the height of Reagan era deregulation/pro-market policies (who in fact (in)famously remarked, that government is not the solution to the problem, government is the problem), government oversight and regulation got handed its first defeat at the hands of intense lobbying of Wall Street's financial firms, which resulted in the merger of commercial and investment banks. So what's wrong with that, aren't both of them banks anyway? Simple, commercial banks which made its living by lending out the same money that people saved in their institutions went a step further and donned the role of a broker by betting (though it is termed quite misleadingly as investing) the money in the stock market for want of bigger and faster returns. It doesn't take a financial genius to predict the end result of such foolhardiness - Savings and Loans crisis, which brought down the banks and with them, the economy (and almost finished the career of the then Presidential hopeful senator who went by name of John McCain). One would imagine that the powers that be took a notice or two from the devastating effects and refrain from heading the same path with impunity again. Mark Twain once said, history does not repeat, it rhymes. So, not the same exact crisis, but a similar one, and with even more devastation the next time around. This time it was Mr. Clinton's time in the 90's. Buoyed by the economic success brought about by the technological and internet revolution, the government, at the behest of pandering politicians, relaxed the rules on owning a house, dubbing it as the ultimate realization of the American dream. And Wall Street, which was just dusting up falling hard on its face propping up facile internet companies and contributing to the dot-com bubble, found a new muse. Right up till that point, the Street, rightly or wrongly, speculated on real ideas, practices and innovations, be it in manufacturing, commodities and even internet. The crash of internet hit Wall Street firms, which by then got accustomed to double-digit growths and triple-digit index soars, hard. So how would the Street start marketing the oldest commodity in the world, land, in a new way to earn the same insane ROI's as the internet stocks delivered?
In hindsight, all the conditions were set right for the perfect storm - Wall Street still had some money to play around, after the internet crash and burn, and the real estate market was just steaming up, thanks to non-existent standards in lending practices and due diligence. Again conventional wisdom states that, bad economy or otherwise, if one can no longer a mortgage, the lending institution which owns the mortgage would evict the owner, take possession of the home, and put it back on the market and cover its losses. Right? WRONG. And here is where Wall Street should either be roundly applauded for its innovation or soundly vilified for its greed. Instead of letting the mortgage stay with the lending institution (bank), which in fact put up the money for the home in the first place, the geniuses at the financial firms figured a way of splitting the mortgage up and sell it as just any other stock in the market, essentially spreading the risk around, in case the mortgage failed. The practice was named, quite ironically, securitization. In this system of spread bets, no one institution owned up all the risks. The lending institutions opened up the flood gates on mortgage applications pairing people and houses, without checking any antecedents, as they washed their hands off them anyway, once the paperwork is finalized. No income, no problem, no job, not an issue, bad credit, just the right candidate. Sign here, here and initial there. That's all it took to own a home, the ability to sign at areas marked X. The financial firms then took those mortgages, sliced them up and put them up for sale on the trading floor. So what's in it for the lending and the financial firms, signing up as many people as they can attract? Commissions and fees. The mantra is simple - sign up by the hundreds of thousands and rake in billions.
But a question arises, when not all mortgages are created equal, how would an investor on the trading floor differentiate between a risky mortgage (signed by a near delinquent) to a relatively safe one (backed by one with a stable job). And the net widens, implicating the next player - rating agencies. These agencies, which are the final frontier in regulation, were supposed to investigate the inherent risks of the sliced and the bundled mortgages (called Collateral Debt Obligations - CDOs) and award ratings accordingly - AAA, safest for investment....down to DD (very risky) - which could affect their investment prospects. So where does conspiracy come in here? These rating agencies were paid by the financial firms into awarding stellar ratings even to substandard CDOs, just to push them out of the door and into the throats of the unwitting investors, as fast as they could bundle them up. The more CDOs the agencies rated, the more money they made in fees. So technically, when the mortgages went bad and people (those 6%) walked away from their homes, only the investors who bought those bad stocks should be affected. Why was the whole economy taken down? The risk taking didn't end there. Insurance companies were brought in the mix to hedge against those risks. Through another nefarious collusion of Wall Street and insurance companies, a new insurance instrument, called Credit Default Swap (CDS) was created, which acted like an insurance policy against those CDOs. So if the CDOs went bad, the firms which took CDS against the CDOs that they held and traded got paid. Standard operating procedure? WRONG AGAIN.
These are special insurance instruments, where one can bet (insure) for and against the same stock. So if the financial firm took out two insurance policies against the same CDO, one, for when the CDO went bad, and the other, betting that the CDO would indeed go bad, they got paid either way (Heads I win, tails you lose). But why would any insurance company, in its right mind, accept such a bargain, where it is bound in both the scenarios. One, the delusional hope that economy would never go bad and those mortgages would never fail and so would never have to pay those policies, and second, even more important, fees (premiums) on the mind-boggling volume. In the end, it was the volume that killed it all. It was the volume that incentivized such a risk tasking from the lending institutions to the financial firms, from the commercial banks to the insurance companies, that no one could say no to the millions and billions that poured it with little effort. And even more mind numbing fact about the CDS is that, ANYBODY, not just the holders of the CDO's, could bet against those financial instruments. With this last puzzle in place, the trading floor essentially became one giant casino, where anybody could bet on anything for any amount, with the little difference that the house made money, immaterial of a win or a loss. And then the economy tanked.
The free fall of investment banks, commercial banks, insurance companies, the employee pension funds that invested in the CDO's based on their stellar ratings, mutual funds, just about any stock that is even remotely connected to real estate, and with them the global economy that bet big on American real estate and stock market, gave a terrifying glimpse of how interconnected the system and how literal the figurative saying, about a flapping butterfly in Hawaii bringing about a tornado in Taiwan, was. The near bankrupt investment banks that bought, held and traded worthless CDOs made a run on the insurance firms trying to collect their amounts for failed CDOs. The risk for insurance companies soon turned for arithmetic to geometric, and from geometric to exponential in a matter of a couple of days, having gleefully accepted bets (premiums) on the same items for both the outcomes. And there definitely wasn't enough money in the system that could cover all the bets for varying outcomes. And when it was time to pay the Piper, Chapter 11 bankruptcy became the quick refuge. All lending stopped, and insecurity and distrust ruled the roost.
Where do politicians figure in this maelstrom? First, having pulled out all the door-stops on regulation and oversight, which could have if not prevented at least minimized the effect of the fraud of this magnitude from ever being perpetrated, the politicians played, yet again, into the hands of the financial industry and announced trillions of dollars of tax-payers' money as immediate relief, (falsely) claiming that these financial and insurance institutions were 'too big to fail'. And where did a portion of the money go towards - millions of dollars in bonuses and walk away monies, for financial and insurance executives who essentially ran the economy to the ground and ruined millions of lives.
The documentary is aptly titled 'Inside Job' as it has been one, right from the start, making full use of the loopholes of the system, exploiting every one of its weaknesses (buying influence through campaign contributions, affecting legislation through lobbying, and the biggest of all, having the same financial heads from those same financial firms who made some of the ruinous decisions earlier, at all the key positions in the government, irrespective of which party was in power), and maneuvering the administrative machinery to nicely fall in step with the wild, ambitious and even treacherous goals and plans of the financial industry. In the end, 'Inside Job' is a heartburn, a tragedy, a cautionary tale, a searing take on the serious miscarriage of regulation and oversight, to make it all a MUST WATCH. The takeaways, among many other things, can even be the cynical outlook that capitalism has always been and will remain one of the rich, by the rich and for the rich and the influential.
Remember the story from the local lore about the 7 princes and 7 fish? And the reason for the un-dried fish ultimately ends up because of some unrelated little kid putting his hand deep inside the anthill where it didn't belong? Now, was it really those 6% who ruined it for everybody, or a fat-cat in a black suit (Dick Fuld, head of Lehman brothers, for example, who made $485 million dollars in the year of the crisis) who mucked up the system?
FB leads to a roller coaster of emotions
Does Facebook makes you feel that everyone's having fun except you? You may be just overestimating your friends' happiness, suggests a new study.
A Stanford University research has suggested that when we misgauge our friends'' negative feelings, we feel worse about ourselves.
For the study, the researchers examined how college students evaluate their own mood and that of their peers. They foound students greatly underestimated other people's negative emotions, which in turn increased their own feelings of unhappiness because they felt "less normal."
"People think, "Why am I alone on a Saturday night or why I am not in a relationship?" he said. "When people overestimate the happiness of friends, they felt more negatively about their own lives," ABC News quoted lead researcher Alex Jordan, a social psychologist, as saying.
The researchers also found that the majority of students were unable to accurately gauge others' happiness even when they were evaluating the moods of people they knew well. Not surprisingly, the more students underestimated others' negative emotions, the more they tended to report feeling lonely.
Junior Kayla Dellefratte from Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. logs off Facebook when she begins to feel frustrated with what she is seeing.
"I see one of my friends living life, their own life, and I feel like stalking their photos is like I'm not living. It's not a great feeling," she said.
Catalina Toma, a communications professor at the University of Wisconsin believes passive Facebook consumption (such as monitoring your friends' newsfeeds) can leave people feeling lonelier than before they logged on.
"People naturally compare themselves to those around them, a process known as social comparison. If you perceive yourself to be doing better than your friends in an area that is important for you the social comparison will make you feel good. However, if you think your friends surpass you in an area that's important to your self-concept, you will likely feel dejected as a result of the comparison," she wrote in an e-mail.
A Stanford University research has suggested that when we misgauge our friends'' negative feelings, we feel worse about ourselves.
For the study, the researchers examined how college students evaluate their own mood and that of their peers. They foound students greatly underestimated other people's negative emotions, which in turn increased their own feelings of unhappiness because they felt "less normal."
"People think, "Why am I alone on a Saturday night or why I am not in a relationship?" he said. "When people overestimate the happiness of friends, they felt more negatively about their own lives," ABC News quoted lead researcher Alex Jordan, a social psychologist, as saying.
The researchers also found that the majority of students were unable to accurately gauge others' happiness even when they were evaluating the moods of people they knew well. Not surprisingly, the more students underestimated others' negative emotions, the more they tended to report feeling lonely.
Junior Kayla Dellefratte from Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. logs off Facebook when she begins to feel frustrated with what she is seeing.
"I see one of my friends living life, their own life, and I feel like stalking their photos is like I'm not living. It's not a great feeling," she said.
Catalina Toma, a communications professor at the University of Wisconsin believes passive Facebook consumption (such as monitoring your friends' newsfeeds) can leave people feeling lonelier than before they logged on.
"People naturally compare themselves to those around them, a process known as social comparison. If you perceive yourself to be doing better than your friends in an area that is important for you the social comparison will make you feel good. However, if you think your friends surpass you in an area that's important to your self-concept, you will likely feel dejected as a result of the comparison," she wrote in an e-mail.
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